Are you on the cusp of getting into the playoffs in a few leagues as I am? Are you depending on the likes of Jeff Wilson, KJ Osborn (he came through!) and Jalen Guyton to get you there? I pray that you’re not my kind of stupid-otherwise I wouldn’t be special anymore.
To The Games!
Ravens/Browns:
Baltimore is digging into their practice squad and beyond for some, any, kind of db help because they are about seven guys down at this point. It’s the perfect time for that secondary to be exploited by a competent qb but fortunately they’re facing Mayfield.
Jags/Titans:
“You’re tearing me apart from the inside out!” is what a certain franchise would say if it had a mouth hole and was coached by a narcissistic asshole the likes of Meyer. As per the usual this week he lied about the Robinson situation, undermined players and coaches alike and made a fool of himself. It’s very telling, the amount of info that’s being leaked from the organization.
Raiders/Chiefs:
This sure looks like a ‘get right’ game for K.C. as Las Vegas (losers of 4 of 5) are reeling just as everyone and their mother predicted. I’d be stunned if the Raiders turned things around at this point.
Saints/Jets:
Kamara’s Back! Fantasy owners needing a win to get into the playoffs (sounds familiar…) dance in their sweat-stained underwear. Wives cover their children’s eyes and pets try to hide under the couch as the dreadful spectacle unfolds.
Cowboys/TEAM:
Washington has won 4 in a row and the D looks formidable again. Dallas can land a crushing blow with a W and finally separate itself from the dross that is the rest of the NFC East.
Falcons/Panthers:
A sub .500 team might just make it into the NFC playoffs and it may just be one of these two teams if either one can put a stop to their respective skids. Nah, I was kidding.
Seahawks/Texans:
Seattle might just win back to back games for the very first time this year today. But t’will mean not a thing. Houston is angling for that #1 overall pick so they’re not interested in putting up any resistance.
Who do you need to go off today? Let me know.
Wow dak…that was speshul. And you got a lineman killed. Good jorb.
Holy fuck is the football coated in butter for Dallas?
Very nice INT for Randy Gregory. that play had no chance, Dallas pass rush was going to MDK someone
Hate the ngcp but that was a nice int.
And DAk! throws an INT
That’s a Yikes!
Some would call that rockin.
Can one of you make Lamar! start scoring points?
I feel like he’s really been shitting the bed lately
Dak really fucked that up.
nods in Hippo’s fantasy season
Carr’s o-line is made of feathers and shadows.
It is like a curse on that family.
CeeDee looking good early.
Canned ham, not so much.
Devontadown! YES!
Wrong Freeman or something, apparently.
An Enrico Pallazo reference‽ well done no-name announcer!
HOT MIC REF in KC!
Pretty sure I throw a football harder than Taysom Hill. It’s like the arm on the Indy QB on the old Tecmo Bowl.
Hey, the Texans have the lead!
Don’t get used to it, boys.
Just noticed that Hippo is playing Elle McPherson against me in Freezer Vodka.
I mean, how could I not? She’s the hottest Donks fan in history of EVAR.
I think the “That’s My Raiders!” sound effect button is going to break after the first two minutes of this game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Jz1TjCphXE&ab
Don’t worry, laugh track will be back in play when you get the Donks again.
I think CBS should maybe think about switching to a more competitive game.
nice looks like Snyder forgot to stop payment for the the stadium water bill this month.
Boys/team or chefs/Vegas. I’m indifferent about these options. Curse you mandatory attendance!
/chefs just get fumbresix…well shite.
I am playing the 3-10 team, need win to get the division title/1st round bye.
He has Dalvin Cook AND the Chefs D/ST in his goddamned lineup.
Umm…this might hurt a bit.
Hey, I’m old. Quite used to everything hurtin.
I wonder how much pain Methusala was in at 900 yo, because at 55 I already hurt all over. (I can just easily cosplay as a hutt)
Don’t fucking blow it, Palace.
If it was legal, I would bet on the tie right now.
I just so did. Because FUCK THE LAW. And FML.
And they blew it. Because FYL.
My GAMBLOR window says 3-1 to the good?? (I also kept betting there would be a 4th goal so this was my ideal)
Correct. I was speaking of the tie that was not to be.
ok Dallas, how will you disappoint me today? back breaking INT to end the game or a full day of the WTFs running backs going for 200 yards?
They brought their own benches! Dominance assured.
With shit head Reagan back in news
The Dollop podcast on him was great
https://allthingscomedy.com/podcast/the-dollop/400—ronald-reagan-w-guest-patton-oswalt-part-1-1
https://allthingscomedy.com/podcast/the-dollop/400—ronald-reagan-w-guest-patton-oswalt-part-2
That was great stuff-might have to re-listen.
/Behind The Bastards is pretty good as well.
Hey, remember when Rush Limbaugh died?
I often wonder what petty ways does Jerry Jones remind Dan Snyder that he’s richer them him.
Next year, he’ll hire people to break in and install the Cowboys end zone turf on their field.
Hell, given the way Snyder probably treats his grounds crew Jerry could just ask nicely and they’d probably do it themselves.
From the “Who Would Be Dumb Enough To Believe” files:
https://www.cnn.com/2021/12/12/us/hireahitman-website-cracks-crimes-cec/index.html
Cheez balls or other similarly bright orange cheezy snacks are a really underrated red wine pairing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XlYj1iyAlk
Well it is cheese, my wife said the jalapeño crunchy cheetos were bood with bubbly.
What a leader.
First time I noticed he gots a Mitch McConnell-calibre chin. Figures.
Never in my life had I’d imagine defending Mitch McConnell…
Screw you Fox NFL. The lawd hath spoketh, and he hath said, “Fuck Kentucky. My bad.”
They elected Rand Paul multiple times. They earned Old Testament Wrath.
Redshirt’s Life (Artist Interpretation)
I keep hearing these talking head pieces about how Mayfield is on limited time in Cleveland. Am I the only who remembers what that team was like before he arrived? I really don’t understand this unless a current top 10 QB has already agreed to sign with Cleveland.
How about a Carr for Mayfield exchange?
Man U with a #NuAids outbreak to join the Spurs.
EPL shutdown coming soon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3p1SB_j-2E
“Don’t look at me!” – the turf monster
Call me crazy but I think this Urban Meyer guy is bad news.
I, for one, have quite enjoyed the all news about him.
I’ve only heard good news out of Utah about him, has anything happened since then?
Unless you dislike the Jaguars, in which case he is good news.
Morning Folks.
Upside of being very, very angry at Everton – I don’t have to worry about spillage into Glorious RedZone time.
And I live bet there would be a first half goal. PALACE WOO!!!!
Deebo looks like he is starting. This downgrades both SF RBs for me.
fuck it, Deebo IN, CE-H out
Found a funny;
Wife: he’s always using obscure points of reference…
Therapist: how does this make you feel?
Me: like an egg on a skateboard to be honest.
Anybody else rolling with CE-H and feeling really horrified about it?
Pick 3-
Dillon
Jacobs
Javonte
J. Wilson
Jacobs, Jacobs, Jacobs
And Javonte and Dillon
Really? The Raiders will be way behind way fast. What makes you think Jacobs will see many touches? Checkdowns?
Yes, checkdowns. More opportunities with Waller out and KC not good vs RBs
Dillon, Jacobs, and Javonte
not Wilson
Pretend Man City has sold 116,972 goddamned season tickets for the 2127-28 season. No wonder they named the stadium after me. Maybe all of Manchester should follow suit. GilkeyTown!
Kind of nervous about firing up Taysom Hill at QB instead of Russell Wilson vs Houston.
Matthew Berry does have Hill as QB4 this week, so hopefully he will be Rocking against the LOLJets!
Goooo football! 🏈
Are you mad? Charmslinger all the way.
Hopefully his running will offset the multiple interceptions.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t97eE2fst4A
MOAR COVID INACTIVES! Lets goooo!
who???
Henderson, because he seems to hate playing this season
The wife has been all into the vintage thing. So Christmas shopping on line I run across the perfect bathroom door placard for the downstairs (not the upstairs “visitors” one… fer cryin out loud even I know better than that) bathroom. Does she appreciate my toil? No… nuthin but negative feedback…
I appreciate it!
I knew you guys would.
I approve.
That’s Rocking!
I have a similar tattoo on my back, although I did manage to restrain myself and not get “bathroom” tattooed across my shoulders in Gothic script.
Needless to say, I approve.
So this isn’t you?
I feel like part of making my divorce from the Raiders stick is to force myself to watch them get slaughtered today. And after this season I won’t have to do that anymore.
That’s like saying you’re going to watch your girlfriend get banged by six dudes before you break up with her in six weeks.
Shit or get off the pot.
Given the stories we have heard, I am not confident saying Rikki has never done exactly that.
You’re probably right. But what if I watch and she *doesn’t* bang the six dudes, though. It means she deserves another chance to break my heart!
Up in Chicago for my first full-time football Sunday in a couple of weeks. I got six sheep stitched together to make the couch more cozy, and I’m off to buy painting supplies and booze and snaxx before the games start!
I have had pretty good weather luck when visiting Chi in the winter since I moved, and today is no exception at a balmy 50F. I suspect the city is trying to win me back, but no luck, I know what you are Chicago. It was notable how clean and lovely the snow in Finland was compared to the black slush that is city snow after 5 minutes, so even my enjoyment of fluffy frozen precipitation can not lure me back here.
So…my RB1 is literally hated by his coach and my RB2 is hurt. Not a huge fan of my chances this week.
Did you know if you rearrange the letters is “DELTA OMICRON” it spells “EROTIC OLD MAN”? Let that sink in.
/also it spells “RECTAL DOMINO”.
the pieces fit wake up SHEEPLE!!!
I think it says MEDIA CONTROL too. Tin foil hat up gang!
You’re right, it does!
[holds up rectal domino, inspecting its dimensions]
I wouldn’t say it *fits* necessarily, but…
You’d be surprised what fits.
— Every ER doc
NO DICE, MALORT
Oh shit.
&ct=g
THESE KENTUCKY TORNADO VICTIMS, I CALL THEM A FOURTH-ROUNDER POINTING TO THE SKY AFTER A PRESEASON WEEK 2 TOUCHDOWN BECAUSE THEY THINK GOD IS WATCHING OVER THEM AND THAT’S GOOD BECAUSE I’M ROOTING AGAINST THEM.
Couple updates for everyone:
CB Johnson is out for San Fran, putting both starting CB’s out. This is great news for Chase and Higgins (If he plays).
McKissic is out, I’m still not crazy about eating Gibson chalk.
The Lions are missing coaches today due to the Rona. Broncos should basically have their way with the Lions.
Mike Williams is in, Keenan Allen is out.
I have Higgins starting right now, and I am in a very close game, so what you can take from that is that Higgins will be a game-time scratch.
Oooh boy, what a controversial race.
FIA and the race stewards arbitrarily applying their rules and procedures is ridiculous.
Yeah, let’s change the rules ala minute.
This is their written rules. lol
Oh yeah. Otto has a reason to be pissed.
Doing some cursory twitter research it sounds like the guy in first had like five lapped cars between himself and second, and during a stoppage they just let those five lapped cars get back in front of the leader?
Yes. Race was under a safety car due to a crash. Standard procedure to let lapped cars through before the race resumes.
But it was supposed to be all of them?
Correct. And there was supposed to be an additional lap behind the safety car to let them all get back around. If they did that, the race wouldn’t have restarted.
Got it, thanks!
This is quite a bit of micro-analysis for…cars driving in a fucking circle
Related: What is a catch?
F1 is not a circle Hippo.
http://coldalbion.tumblr.com/post/79155145089/true-detective-the-invisibles-gnostic-spoilers
Here’s how I understand it: F1 is incredibly boring, because there isn’t near enough passing, and as soon as someone does pass, someone finds a rule that says he shouldn’t have passed, then Lewis Hamilton gets a trophy.
/I don’t watch a lot of F1, could be wrong.
This is accurate. Except the HAM trophy this year. That’s just Andy’s now.
I need the N-GCp to completely abandon the run and Dak! to find Coop many, many times. CE-H not being a wet bag of shit (considering it would be insane to bench him for “my dick hurts” Deebo, even though I really WANT TO) would also be nice.