Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

10 shipping days until Christmas. It’s not like any of us are going to a store to get stuff. That would mean, like, pants. Yuck. And for those still in the LDB challenge, you have ten more days as well.

What else? FF playoffs are close or are starting this week. Somehow in my money league I’m in second place, but not guaranteed for playoffs yet. Looking forward to either missing the playoffs all together or making playoffs but out of the money. Yes, I’m channelling my inner Brocky. And looking at the games for the weekend, we have Saturday games now. While I like more opportunity to watch football, not sure I’m going to be able to watch more. Which is what Hippo Thoughts are for.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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I’m thinking of my impending renunciation of my Raiders fanhood as being something like a divorce. Their loss to the Sex Traffickers feels like the equivalent of our attorneys having had a cordial and productive call; it feels like we’ll be able to get through this thing with a minimum of fuss.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If it’s anything like me trying and failing to quit the Bengals, pretty soon, you’ll get a game that’s the equivalent of them showing up at your door with flowers and chocolates asking just to talk. Before you know it, you’ll be talking to your beside themselves friends saying that they’ve cleaned up their act and you two are stronger now than ever before.
Redshirt

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I will now sing “Diarrhea Chili Jungle” every time I hear that stupid Guns N Roses song for the rest of my life. YEW KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?! YOU’RE IN CINCINNATI BAY-BEH!! YOU GONNA DIE!!!
Fronkenshteen

Diarrhea jungle.
We got weird chili.
It can taste good going down
But you’ll pay for it when it leaves.
We don’t know why we like it
It doesn’t make much sense
But it is just comfort food
And that is what we need
‘Cause Cincy. We live in Cincinnati.
We gave up on our dreams!
Redshirt

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I am eager to see the Hail Mary play in these conditions [ stoopid windy MNF game].
King Hippo

If a pass is thrown forward but the winds blows it backwards behind the passer, is it an Forward Incomplete Pass or a Backwards Pass Fumble?
Redshirt

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“Instead they hand the ball of to Whoever The Hell That Is.”

I kind of like Day Off Joe Buck.
Redshirt

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Why does Eli still live in New Jersey?
LemonJello

His wife from there?
litre_cola

Whats the difference between Jersey girls and trash?
Sharkbait

You aren’t embarrassed taking out the trash?
LemonJello

Judges?

Yes. We will accept that answer. The answer was Trash gets picked up
Sharkbait

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LOL

rockingdog

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We had the inspection on the condo today. No surprises, yay! We signed the escrow papers, things are moving along quickly. Veterans United has never done us wrong! And we had lunch at a Jewish deli in Palm Springs, sooo good! That’s the kind of thing the Gumby’s heartily endorse!,
Gumbygirl

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So the bar to get a bowl name appears to be pretty low. You all know what this means:

The Door Flies Open Bowl. Make it so.
Sharkbait

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One of these days, I’m gonna get drunk enough to donate to PBS just to get all the Rick Steves travel paraphernalia which I will never watch. Won’t regret it.
SonOfSpam

So last time I donated to NPR I got wine as a donation gift, so you can be drunk on both ends if you work it right
Doktor Zymm

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Found a funny;

Me: Man it smells like updog in here!

Friend: Shut the fuck up

Me: Ok
rockingdog

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Wow, Dalvin got to 200!

“So?”

-Houston
SonOfSpam

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I’m with Redshirt: Joseph is a TOP father. But I say he’s an even better husband. Every day of Mary’s pregnancy:

-But do you love Him?

-Don’t you?

-[tries not to cry, grabs hammer] I got work to do [slams door]
Don T

Was there anything to suggest he was a bottom father? I mean, Mary wasn’t giving it up.
SonOfSpam

Not passive at all. I imagine Joseph drunkenly shouting “Well maybe if He smote me, He’ll put food on the table FOR ONCE. Not even mannah from heaven for His son, no. It’s JOSEPH who’s gotta hustle AND help the damn kid with math ‘cause he can’t multiply for shit!”
Don T

“Ok…one more time. You have two fish and five loaves of bread…”
“Thousands of people will be fed and sated.”
“GOD DAMMIT WHAT THE FUCK”
“My Father’s will be done”
“MARY! YOUR KID IS A FUCKING RETARD GET IN HERE”
SonOfSpam

From the Book of Matthew Chapter 1

20 But after he had pondered these things, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to embrace Mary as your wife, for the One conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.
21 Then Joseph woke up, called Mary a harlot unto the Holy Spirt and stormed out.
22 A confused Mary rose to chase after Joseph, but another angel of the Lord said “Mary, daughter of Eli, fear not. For the Lord your God is going to meet Joseph. He’s going to explain the situation, they’re going to talk it out over some drinks, and then Joseph will understand.”

(I’m going to Hell for this comment)
Redshirt

When you get there I’ll buy you a drink, also for this comment.
Horatio Cornblower

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Don T

Sharkbait

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Doktor Zymm

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THIS STEELERS D, I CALL THEM A CONFUSED ALABAMA FAMILY REUNION BECAUSE THEY EXPECTED THAT THEYD BE FUCKING COUSINS, BUT INSTEAD ARE GETTING FUCKED BY COUSINS.
LemonJello

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Mike Tomlin halftime speech

Don T

LemonJello

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Redshirt

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Ben’s “I’m More Crippled Than Retarded At This Point!” tour continues to make the rounds.
scotchnaut

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Don T

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Senators up 3-0 and dominating the 2nd period vs Tampa! [looks outside] “Uh, why is the sky purple and why is there an extended middle finger breaking thru the clouds? Can’t be a good sign.”
scotchnaut

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I’d congratulate Ball and Mr. Ayo on a fine Sexy Friday post, but it’s at 69 comments and one simply does not mess with perfection, so I’ll do it here.
Horatio Cornblower

Clubhouse in unison (minus one) – Niiiiiiccccceeee!
King Hippo

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Army Navy used to irritate me as a young NCO watching the absolute fools in the stands, knowing one of them likely would soon be my platoon leader. Now it just amuses me knowing they will be in my office soon asking me questions.
2Pack

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Break out those Jag Rags!

Mr. Ayo

When I was in high school we had to watch a movie about suicide. Our hero bombs his SATs, gets kicked off the swim team, and then his girlfriend dumps him. He winds up driving off a cliff yelling “I’M A WINNER! I’M A WINNER!”, (all facts to the contrary)

Anyway, sounds like someone should probably take away Urban’s car keys.
Horatio Cornblower

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So, as usual, Twitter is all abuzz because people are saying that the Red States devastated by the tornados shouldn’t get federal aid, because they’re represented by assholes. Obviously that’s not how government, or countries, should work, but then I looked up Kentucky, (where Rand Paul is a Senator, and who has previously opposed disaster aid to Blue States), and he won in 2016 by 14.5 %age points, and took all but 7 counties.

Not one goddamn dollar for Kentucky. I feel bad for the 40% of you who don’t vote for Paul, but the 60% of you who do, or even worse yet McConnell, (25+% margin, all but 2 counties), reap what you sow. Figure it out yourselves, and let us know when you do.
Horatio Cornblower

Agreed. I hate the hypocrisy.
Sharkbait

And there are never any consequences, because the other side is made of functioning human beings.

What we need are a couple of raving sociopaths to do the dirty work necessary to make the other side feel the consequences of their actions and, my friends, (throws hat into ring), I am here to tell you that I am that raving sociopath!

/Wins 2024 Presidential election in a landslide
//There is no 2028 Presidential election because America, and most of the Northern Hemisphere, ceased to exist sometime in 2026.
Horatio Cornblower

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I think it’s about time for a shower and then I’m putting on my BRAND NEW SILK PAJAMAS.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Enjoy your evening, Mr. Hefner.
Horatio Cornblower

If you don’t go commando with silk pajamas, you’re doing it way wrong.
SonOfSpam

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Found a funny;

dickens: i’m writing a new book called “a tale of one city”

editor: borrrring

dickens: aight hang on
rockingdog

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In a perfect world this post [ fozz’s Saturday night BOTG] would be called “Boots On The Throat Of My MIL”.
scotchnaut

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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