Your “The Suspect Was Hatless” Cards/Rams Open Thread

Here at DFO there were derby’s aplenty and over at the NFL, they were busy extricating the “Super” from the Wild Card Weekend. As I’ve said many times before, we always make the best of it though.

Fallout:

-Though tis early, it looks like Tristan Wirfs will be a game-time decision next week. I wouldn’t mind seeing Brady run around behind his backup.

-Jerome Boger and The Gang That Couldn’t Whistle Straight won’t be sullying the playoffs any longer according to Shefter and others. We’ll no doubt see them all year long in the next regular season, so there’s that.

-Costly W? Bosa has been concussed but my suspicion is that it’s one of those “Playoff Concussions” that fade in no time at all. Unfortunately for Fred Warner, there is no such thing as a “Playoff Sprained Ankle”.

-Philly Fans Moving On: Probably from Hurts and definitely on to the draft where they have picks 15, 16 and 19.

To The Game!

Cards/Rams:

-Eric Weddle To The Rescue! He’s a mere 37 years old and has been out of football for two years and this is the best the Rams could do? They are tremendously compromised at safety going forward.

-Bad Monkey! One of these qb’s will exit the game having won their very first playoff tilt. Stafford is a bit more overdue than Kyler and he’s gone for 280+ yards and multiple TD’s in both games this season.

-And you’d think the odds would lie with him even more because McVay has a shiny 8-1 record vs Arizonny.

-Tired of yakkers slathering about Ben? Well hold on-JJ Watt is expected to play after having shoulder surgery in early November. I swear that before he goes under the knife he has his people exaggerate the recovery time by at least two months so that he can continue to promulgate that “Superheroes Take No Days Off” bullshit.

Wander into the comments fearlessly.

 

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Mr. Ayo

At least this Baker made the playoffs before being knocked out.

Spur

If you meet the Buddha on the way to the end zone, kill him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That hit just caused Baker to achieve enlightenment.

Gumbygirl

He’s being reincarnated now.

Redshirt

No, but he’s having a near chat with his maker right now.

SonOfSpam

The way his hands shook, I thought he was cold. CHILLY NITE AT SOFI.

Col. Duke LaCross

Goddamn. That looks like a career ender.

Horatio Cornblower

Not gonna lie, I’m more than a little disappointed that the T-Rex skull isn’t something Dwayne heisted while doing one of the Fast & Furious movies.

https://twitter.com/NickVeronica/status/1483270434917425156

Sharkbait

Psh. Couch change

rockingdog

LOL

He knew too much

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LemonJello

Usually it’s the LA fans showing up late, not the opposing offense.

Spur

Don’t Make Kyler Angry!
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hippofant

Ah yes, another reminder that Aaron Donald’s dirty as fuck and has serious rage issues.

rockingdog

Last funny;

grew up thinking McDonald’s birthday parties were the height of fancy

Redshirt

I have expected to see Eli run and hide behind his chair when they started fighting.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sure she meant to send this to Rikki only, and just forgot to hit the DM button.

https://twitter.com/SusannaHoffs/status/1483197735163420678

SonOfSpam

For the last time, she does not belong to Rikki.

hippofant

Well, I guess it’s not 28-3

ThePirateSloth

This just in: Cooper Kupp is a good player. Film at 11.

Gumbygirl

Turns out water is wet! Who knew?

Gumbygirl

Nice pass Odell!

Spur

He loves to dump it off.

Game Time Decision

Aka The Cleveland Steamer

Sharkbait

Does OBJ now have more passing yards than Kyler now?

litre_cola

He does.

Sharkbait

Stat check:

OBJ 1/1 40 Yards

Kyler 7/17 28 yards.

herodotus450

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ThePirateSloth

Well, this was not the game I expected. I just caught up to live, WTF CARDS, I was actually gonna cheer for you.

SonOfSpam

Fun first half!

Except that COVID decided to become a miserable head cold today (previously it was a sore throat or body aches or whatever) and I am sober.

Oh well, let’s go RAMMMMMMMIT and finish this shit.

Redshirt

My mom thought she had COVID but was negative, turned out to be flu.

Don’t forget your Flu Shots!

Horatio Cornblower

Pfft! Flu shot. Then what’s the point of this mask and never leaving my house!?

SonOfSpam

Agree totally. Wife tested positive for the COVID, so that’s how I’m rollin.

Gumbygirl

That sucks! Hope you feel better. Get your trip on with some Nyquil.

SonOfSpam

Thanks! All out of that stuff, so going with water and also water.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know why the hell I’m watching this abomination of a game instead of the sexy nubile college kids of CHEER.

Sharkbait

Hmm..I wonder how my DFS lineups are doing. Let me check.

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Game Time Decision

Rocking?
Banging?
Oh, I know, HOT

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THEY’RE ON FIRE!

Mr. Ayo

If squint, you can see Hippo’s ML bet on the Cards in there!

Spur

Why didn’t they just call him White Knight? Oh…right..

Brick Meathook

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blaxabbath

Tonight is going to be a VERY special edition of Cardinal Talk.

Spur

See the ass on the new alter boy?

-Cardinal Talk After Hours.

King Hippo

Turns out we can all go to bed early after all. Thanks, Shield!!

Gumbygirl

Shoulders for the Hippo!

litre_cola

That is Hippos dream dress.

Horatio Cornblower

She clearly got all his letters.

Fronkenshteen

Et tu, Fireman Ed?

Redshirt

The Rock is on the same list as Tom Hanks and Oprah: a list of beloved celebrities who I don’t want them to run for President. Not because they would be bad (on the contrary, they’d be good), but as soon as they announce their candidacy, half the country will hate them and no one wants that to happen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t want a celebrity in charge of our government any more than I’d want a celebrity as head coach of the Las Vegas Raiders. I want someone who has *experience* in the field, whether it’s running a country or running a beloved madcap sitcom.

Redshirt

I’ll just add “Non-Politician President” to the List of Things Donald Trump Ruined. I think there is still room in Vol. 4.

litre_cola

I really hope it is Harbaugh.

Redshirt

What idiot would leave the University of Michigan for the Las Vegas Raiders?

(puts $50 on John Harbaugh)

JimU

The Cardinals right about now.

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Redshirt

b1e076a26d9d383b45758b45361ba6bf–quail-recipes-quail-eggs.jpg (474×324) (pinimg.com)

This isn’t a cardinal but it less of a fraud than these Cardinals.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Gumbygirl

Gumby came in 3rd in his ff league. His “trophy” is a taxidermied cardinal that was ripped apart by some previous non-winner, and then re-taxidermied. We get to keep it all year, yay?

Gumbygirl

The non-winner’s cat ripped it apart. I’m high as hell!

Mr. Ayo

It seems a precedent has been set. Have it ripped apart again!

Gumbygirl

I have just the cat for the job! Henry is a stone cold killah!

Fronkenshteen

Murray is playing scared.

Brocky

I desperately want the rock to just start drinking water every play to increase the likelihood of a spit take

Mr. Ayo

At this point, it’s in the RAMMMIT’s best interest to let Murray take a snap than Fatthew.

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clint greasewood

The Kurt Warner invitational is not living up to the hype.

Redshirt

Somehow, Kyler Murray will throw a forward pass that will hit the upright.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
The Maestro

Followed by a deep shot that ends up killing some old lady in the upper deck.

Fronkenshteen

You just know the Rams won’t play this well against dreamboat.

Brocky

Or the packers.

Cuz God fucking hates me

The Maestro

Pretty good chance that Kliff is just gonna start pumping the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme into Kyler’s helmet if this keeps up.

Doktor Zymm

Sooooo, 1.5 competitive wild card games?

Sharkbait

Seems about right

Fronkenshteen

Yep. Whatta mess.

The Maestro

THIS KYLER MURRAY I CALL HIM ALEX JONES ‘CAUSE HE’S SO ERRATIC AND OFF THE MARK TONIGHT THAT EVERYONE WHO EVER BELIEVED IN HIM IS CLEARLY DELUSIONAL

WCS

Welp…

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hippofant

This is Jets-esque.

Redshirt

After seeing the Arizona Cardinals play for the first time this year, I’m starting to think Mike Lindell may have a point with this theory* that people from Arizona was stupid enough to screw up counting the votes.

*manically insane ramblings

Mr. Ayo

HOT POTATO!!!

Sharkbait

Hot Potato 2: Electric Boogaloo!

blaxabbath

2021 was a success for Mike Bidwill in that it gave him three more years of cover before having to go outside the organization to look for a GM.

King Hippo

The first first down. At nil-21.

Sharkbait

Frauds

Mr. Ayo

And another pickerception

Redshirt

Jesus Hernadez Christ! Just take the damn Safety!

BugEyedBoo

Maybe that VR headset will help Kyler out.

Sharkbait

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Fronkenshteen

game over

/closes notebook

The Maestro

I think I can take a guess what Greggggggggggg just wrote in his notebook.

WCS

DDDDEEERRRRPPPPPPP

THE KLIFFENING