Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.

We gots some squalls yesterday, which means we got about 10 inches of the white stuff, and not the good kind, dumped on us yesterday.  So will be getting a little workout in at lunch to clear the driveway.  And volunteers to help?  lol.  From Sharky’s scale it think it was a 3 slicer.  I did go to the grocery store and it was empty.  Not the the shelves; of people.  I did put the car in “fun” mode on the trip and slid a bit.  Stupid traction control cuts the power when trying to slide.  Even with it “off” it still kicks in.  I haven’t found a way to fully turn off the traction control yet.  It’s probably for the best, but still annoying that it can’t easily be disabled.

I was really confused last night when there was no footbawl game on.  Am I the only one?  My lovely wife went to bed early, so thought I’d get to watch the second half of the game, only to find hoopsball and the hockey instead.  Stupid NFL, I wanted to see a game.  I did manage to see the replay of just the OT in the KC  vs BUF game and wow.  Going to find the rest of the highlights today.  I always miss the great games.  I did see the LA vs TB game and was happy that it came down to the last play, but it’s got nothing on the other game.  

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Didn’t watch a single game, although I thought the Tomsula’s game might be enjoyable, but with it being bookended by a gangblow of Brady and a paen to a rapist, I did not feel altering the flow of my day. I did drop in on the open threads and check the scores on ESPN but that was all the enthusiasm I could muster. The NFL is becoming a casual hobby of mine due to the asshole owners, the lack of coaching talent, and the few horrible people playing the game. I guess I am mainly following now to be able to keep up and converse with everyone here, because that is where I am getting the most of my enjoyment of football from.
ArmedandHammered

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The last time I was this disappointed in Arizona was, well pretty much every time I’ve been to Arizona.
yeah right

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If you’ve stayed this long with the game, here you go:

Brocky

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THIS WILD CARD WEEKEND I CALL IT A HAIR SALON DURING THE 80’S CAUSE IT FEATURES A LOT OF BLOWOUTS.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Why did Eli take off the Death Row pendant? Did his new finance overlords disapprove?
Sharkbait

ELISHA NELSON MANNING! YOU TAKE THAT JEWELRY OFF RIGHT NOW!

— O. Manning text message
Mr. Ayo

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LOL

He knew too much

rockingdog

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THIS KYLER MURRAY I CALL HIM ALEX JONES ‘CAUSE HE’S SO ERRATIC AND OFF THE MARK TONIGHT THAT EVERYONE WHO EVER BELIEVED IN HIM IS CLEARLY DELUSIONAL
The Maestro

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Don T

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24 March – Atlanta returns WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
King Hippo

[starts making plans]
-Sherman
scotchnaut

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Nobody:

Disney+: “MOAR SUPERHERO SHIT THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!”
scotchnaut

HBOMax: “WE’RE LIKE DISNEY+ EXCEPT OUR SUPERHEROS SWEAR AND SHOW NUDITY!”
Redshirt

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Found this gem today
Brocky

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Just got hired back by my same school until the end of the school year, and even got a promotion to full-time! Celebrated by cross-country skiing through the fresh eighteen inches of snow outside my house to the local pharmacy/grocer for some frozen wings to eat during tonight’s game. Huzzah!
The Maestro

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/every word of this is true

Me: “You really need to stop this hoarding tendency of yours.”

Wife: “I’m getting better-I threw out some expired stuff just the other day.”*

Me: “Uh huh.”

*SHE SAID THIS WHILE DRINKING WATER OUT OF AN OLD (clean, of course) JAR OF SPAGHETTI SAUCE
scotchnaut

Doesn’t count unless you’re using Country Crock margarine tubs as tupperware.
BugEyedBoo

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Just signed up on P—Hub where they will find bitches for you. Mostly picked up by strangers or at shelters, where bitches will do whatever you want for a meal or some security.

To clarify, this is PetHub.
SonOfSpam

“At PetHub, bitches get stitches… if you don’t want them to have puppies.”
scotchnaut

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Reading about that American flight to London that turned around an hour after departing Miami for an anti mask asshole. I’m genuinely surprised the other passengers didn’t line up in the aisle to slap the shit out of her Airplane style.

Sharkbait

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Found a funny;

[addressing everyone at my pet possum’s funeral] you guys aren’t gonna believe this
rockingdog

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Andy Reid heard “No more Meatloaf” on the drive into work today and damned near hit a car parked on the side of the road, before regaining control of his emotions.
LemonJello

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Hilarious meme just clued me in to a beautiful fact – over the past 25 years Nick Foles has more playoff wins than the Double J Cowpeople!
Doktor Zymm

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Good day, my civilized colleagues! I have just returned from a mission to Mauritania — since the legal system in that nation is very primitive (some might say tribal!), it was very easy to lay the groundwork for the development of an iron mine that will keep the British Empire’s railways going for decades! While in transit back to Rhodesia, I received a telegram informing me that the group stage of the AFCON had concluded. Let’s take a closer look at the remaining sides (put on your reading glasses!):

The Squad of Dishonest Men: Well, thanks to their trickery, it’s no surprise that these liars and thieves have managed to slide into the next round. I should hope that they advance further — they’ll need the tournament winnings to pay back all of the African footballing officials that they undoubtedly bribed to get here.

French Equatorial Africa (Gabonese Quarter): The (Black) Panthers of Gabon are still missing their broken-hearted captain, which means that they probably won’t last much longer. I’m sure that many of their players will dust off their original French passports once they realize this.

Nigeria Protectorate: Despite their uncivilized appearance, these fine British subjects are sure favourites to win now that the Fennec Foxes have been taxidermied. The scammers will surely need to improve their tactics in the later rounds — Cameroonian officials can only be paid off so many times!

Tatooine: While the sand people did have a scare earlier on in the tournament, Obi Wan Kenobi was indeed correct — they did return, and in greater numbers. Nevertheless, their primitive tactics will not stand a chance against the world’s greatest empire!

French Guinea: I will wager twelve guineas that this side will lose its match against the divine nation of GAMBLOR in this round. After all, it’s the French way!

The Divine Nation of GAMBLOR: See above.

The Indomitable LioUns: The étoiles continue to shine on the home side, who still have the home officials in their back pocket. Will they make it to the final in true corrupt African fashion? I asked my colleague Peter King what he thought, and his answer was MAYBE!

Cumorrah: The luck most certainly has run out for these magic-underwear-wearing islanders — critics of this side will surely be saying “where’s your messiah now” after their tilt with the home side. Perhaps they’ll be happy enough with having polygamy to fall back on?

French Senegal: Mané and his men are not to be trifled with from this point forward — this squad will be a tough test for the Green Capers. I will be on the edge of my blood-stained leather chez lounge watching that match.

Green Capers: While this tournament has demonstrated that Green Capers are delicious on their own, they will need to try a new recipe against the Senegalese. Perhaps some Atlantic salmon is in order?

Atlas LioUns: These spicy gentlemen are holding the entire weight of their home country’s expectations on their shoulders — let us hope that they don’t shrug! They probably have the toughest test of the remaining teams — read below for more!

NYASALAND: These lads actually did it! They made the round of 16! Given their good fortune of being colonially English, it must be their divine right to defeat all foes! Go on, gents!

Ivory Coast: Unless they would like me to further develop their Ivory trade, I couldn’t care less about these baguette-eaters. They will lose to the Sultanate of Egypt.

Sultanate of Egypt: As long as they follow the lessons of old blighty rather than those of their failed civilization, they will defeat the Ivorians. There is no doubt in my mind that Mo Salah is English — what other reason explains his footballing prowess?

Timbuktu Fightin’ Traores: Want to change your maiden name to Traore? Well, then Mali is the place for you! If they win the tournament, perhaps they can use the winnings to rebuild the entire country — clay buildings don’t exactly hold up very well to punishment!

Equatorial Guinea: They will lose to the Traores. Not worth writing any more.
Cecil Rhodes

Cameroonian officials can only be paid off so many times!

“This is absolutely untrue.” – Cameroonian officials
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“Cincinnati chili-wise, the Bengals have started browning the ground beef.”

-Andy Reid, announcer
scotchnaut

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Found a funny;

girlfriend: is crying

me, an empath: im sensing that you want me to go play playstation for a while
rockingdog

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(Bengals hunts down and hands ball to referee to spot the ball)

Dez: “What is he doing?”
Redshirt

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We all thought Aaron Rodgers had a shot, which has happened before

— BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL (@edsbs) January 23, 2022

Horatio Cornblower

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Upcoming DFO Guest Lecture featuring Aaron Rodgers: How to Watch the Super Bowl from the Comfort of Your Own Home
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Also, if you flip over to ESPN2, you can watch Nadal playing tennis. There is no channel where you can watch Djokovic playing tennis.
SonOfSpam

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Oh my god.

Sharkbait

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each one gets better

It’s no wonder the Packers scored only 10. Aaron Rodgers lied and told his line he was already fully protected.

— Fran (@effemwarner) January 23, 2022

Spur

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Fuck you Qaron

Congratulations to Jimmy Garoppolo on replacing Dr Fauci as Aaron Rodgers’ least favorite Italian

— Richard Staff (@RichardStaff) January 23, 2022

Sharkbait

Good Tweet by (checks name) Dick Staff.
SonOfSpam

If he was an in-house detective he would be Dick Staff, Staff Dick
Doktor Zymm

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Well, I’ve seen this before. The only difference is that I didn’t pay to see it live.

Beerguyrob

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I’ll see all of you in hell for laughing with me.

Sharkbait

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Finally got the last of the Christmas decorations off the razor ribbon surrounding Fortress LemonJello. Time for some fitbawl and dick jokes!
LemonJello

Two dick jokes right here!
https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/rodgers-1-1642963939.6095-300×163.jpg

Gumbygirl

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Redshirt

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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