The Upside of Hellscape – Nighty Night Open Thread

You can find a silver lining in anything, if you try hard and/or are annoying enough about it.  This week?  I spent some quality time with Katy Tur and her smokeshow glasses.

Things I may have learned today:

  • Christian Eriksen is still alive, but I can’t really say that for Beesus’ season.
  • Marcelo Bielsa is as sad as a track-suited man can be.  Wheels done come all the way off for Leeds.
  • Harry Fuckface Kane still has that face that makes me want to hit him with a shovel.
  • NC State will have its first-EVAR 20 loss hoopsball season, unless the Wolven Sort win out their regular season, or (dies laughing) wins the ACCT and NCAAT.
  • It’s not handball if you are one of the “Big Six” apparently.  Eat all the shit, whoever was in the VAR booth.
  • Daddy Vladdy is NOT AT ALL overcompensating for his micropenis.

You want something to watch?  I guess Kansas at BayBay (8:00, ESPN), followed by Gonzga at St. Mary’s (10:00, ESPN).  The one conference game that the Zags just maybe could lose!  FEEL THE EXCITE!!  I assume they are still playing NBA and NHL fixtures, I just give even fewer fucks than I do for college hoopsball.  You obviously have an internet connection, use it wisely.

4.8 5 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
105 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Mr. Ayo

Killed himself mere weeks after.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_24pJQUj7zg&list=PLyUVnCw_kLV0J2OjvADXZL-NrSghlEgDg

Reach out for help, vent, whatever it takes. I spent years fighting this. It can be beat.

Gumbygirl

What a rare talent he was. What a fucking shame.

Mr. Ayo
Brick Meathook

Here’s a pizza menu in London, styled after a fictional “America”

comment image

Mr. Ayo

I don’t suppose they use a brick oven?

SonOfSpam

Anyone watching my Anteaters on the U?

Didn’t think so, but HI ANYWAY

Redshirt

My God, the camera direction in this season’s SNL is the worst I’ve even seen. Conan O’Brien showed up and the camera cut to every possible shot but him. Jesus Christ could return tonight and all we’d see on TV is a wall.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good thing editing isn’t important in entertainment either

ballsofsteelandfury

Meanwhile, in Australia,

Screenshot_20220226-205207_Watch AFL.jpg
ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t care who you are, that’s the most glorious mullet I’ve ever seen in my life.

Gumbygirl

It’s the broken glasses and the completely befuddled look that pulls it all together.

Redshirt

You know, when you think about it, the USSR didn’t really sign off on Ukraine leaving the Soviet Union. I mean eventually Great Britain did recognize and sign off on the United States declaring their independence from them. Since the USSR didn’t approve Ukraine’s Declaration of Independence, you could say they didn’t really leave the.fdajiskl;fjkdsalfnsdak;lfn;ads

Sorry, I heard Donald Trump condemned the Russian Invasion of Ukraine and I have conditioned myself to believe the exact opposite of what that evil orangefaced man says. Seriously, if that guy did a dissertation about gravity, I would start flying around like Peter Pan.

blaxabbath

Integrity matters

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lady BFC and I have a late date night dinner reservation, but the restaurant just called to let us know the previous occupants of our dining bubble haven’t left yet.

I’m hungry and 2022 is stupid.

scotchnaut

I’m hoping that the previous couple didn’t eat any of the bubbles that were assigned to you. #thoughtsandprayers

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll bet I can make them leave.

Redshirt

Waiter: “Phone call for you.”

BFC: “You’ve given the lady a three-course meal and dessert, and she hasn’t given you an invitation to her place for ‘coffee’. Take the hint! You’re not gonna seal the deal here. Take it like a man and accept defeat!”

Beerguyrob

Day Three of the Meme Wars goes again to Ukraine:

https://twitter.com/michaeldweiss/status/1497745193117704195

herodotus450

In addition to 17 goals (for now), this Det-Tor game has featured 3 goalie changes. Detroit put in their backup, then took him out and put the starter back in.

scotchnaut

Leafs are up 9-7-according to the league’s collective bargaining agreement, Gretzky has one goal and four assists.

rockingdog

Last funny;

Not sure I understand the message in this infographic…

16231199-C29A-4377-90E8-0656E2E3B3A0.jpeg
Don T

comment image

herodotus450

Toronto Hockey Team gives up 3 straigth goals, only up 7-5 now. That’s the kind of defense that you need in the playoffs.

Sharkbait

8-7 Toronto. Hope you took the over

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Are they trying some kind of experiment where each team plays with six skaters?

scotchnaut

Experiment-wise, it appears that only one team has 6 skaters.

ballsofsteelandfury

St. Kilda off to a great start!

Brick Meathook

comment image
comment image
comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Got a tour of the secret room from a former Exalted Ruler. Place is fucking huge. Great place to store hobo parts.

Horatio Cornblower

Karaoke at the Elks Club. Going to murder her

ballsofsteelandfury

The pre- leaving the house BJ should have clued you in.

Gumbygirl

Bright side: Cheap drinks!

scotchnaut

Not until “Don’t Stop Believin’* has been sung at the top of your lungs.

*HOLD ON TO THAT FEELINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. STREETLIGHTS. PEOPLE. WHOA. WHOAAAAAAAA. OOOHHHHHHHHH

Horatio Cornblower

I am going Motörhead. Fast, loud, and unintelligible.

It’s my only hope.

Redshirt

Oh, great. Now, I’m imagining Lemmy signing “Don’t Stop Believin'”.

Gumbygirl

This is my backyard right now.

20220226_174615.jpg
ballsofsteelandfury

Awesome!

Gumbygirl

It’s nice, isn’t it? It’s going to get hot as fuck in the summer, but it’s undeniably beautiful here.

ballsofsteelandfury

Gorgeous! I’m very happy for you guys!

Gumbygirl

.

my_sally_brown_with_pink_and_magenta_hearts_by_katiefan2002_de5p7t5-pre.jpg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We all are!

Mr. Ayo

I would love to hang out in your backyard

Horatio Cornblower

I am! Don’t tell the others.

herodotus450

Mapplethorpe Leafs really putting a beating on (Local Hockey Team). Can we at least still count on them to crumble in the playoffs though?

rockingdog

Also this photo of the I-Phone software development environment Feb 2006 is Rocking!!!

D29DAFB3-4E6E-41D8-9C80-C2037B7F0B0C.jpeg
herodotus450

What’s the bell jar in the middle of the table for thouhg?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bells, obviously.

Gumbygirl

“Thanks Sylvia. Back in the oven with you.”
Ted Hughes

Redshirt

.

476F075A-2602-4EA1-AAB8-0D873A83CE10.jpeg
ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If you’re rooting against Russia, I assure you that you are not turning into a Republican.

Redshirt

Welcome to the neither regions of the soul.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh! Celtics-Bucks!

Perfect TV to have on while I do the second half of my workout. And then booze!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Whoops. Nets-Bucks. Still of some interest, but not as much.

Gumbygirl

It’s weed o’ clock here. And the workout is over!

scotchnaut

Hippo, Sillycuse lost by 25. I think I lost the bet so my cumsock is in the mail. I’d prefer more ‘sanitary’ bets in the future, fyi.

scotchnaut

The most brilliant thing the Devil (Coach K) ever did was to convince Boeheim to join the USA Basketball program as an assistant so that he could teach K how to play against zone defenses.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hey!” – Nick Saban

Mr. Ayo

“Hay!” — J. Elway

Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Horatio Cornblower

About to leave for the night on a date with my wife. She won’t tell me where, said the beer selection probably won’t be very good, and I may not like it.

This bodes well.

TheRevanchist

Hopefully blows more than just corn.

Horatio Cornblower

She did before we left, which is even more ominous

TheRevanchist

Is it your birthday?

ballsofsteelandfury

Extremely ominous.

Thoughts and prayers.

Gumbygirl

Oh Gawd, it’s some kind of experimental theatre.

scotchnaut

[tries to hide erection]

-Peter Weiss

Gumbygirl

That’s the Marat/Sade guy,right ? Ugh.

rockingdog

Surprise date night with wife!
That’s Rocking!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Coach K, (who I loathe), enjoying a triumphant retirement tour with his usual band of one-and-dones while Boeheim wanders around wondering why the zone doesn’t work anymore and with 40% of his starters only there because Mom insisted they go play ball with the Old Man.

Horatio Cornblower

A little if both. I don’t think Duke is great, but Syracuse has been awful this year, and Duke is at least very good.

scotchnaut

Coach K has the most (sorta legit) wins and a face that has the highest blood pressure ever recorded. Good for him.

Horatio Cornblower

Duke is shooting over 70% from 3, so I expect Boeheim will throw a defense other than the zone at them in order to cut into that current 20 point deficit.
/dies holding breath

Horatio Cornblower

That “at worst who knows” line is going to cost him.

Gumbygirl

Gumby has 19 ties. Which doesn’t sound like a ton of them, until you consider that
A: I’ve probably gotten rid of just as many over the years, and
B: He has never once had a job where he had to wear one.

Gumbygirl

37 baseball caps, 5 cowboy hats, and a sombrero. I made him get rid of a huge hefty bag full of baseball caps a few moves ago, he still whines to this day.

Horatio Cornblower

As he should

Dunstan

What about a fez? Fezzes are cool.

Gumbygirl

He doesn’t have one, but a friend from India brought him back one of those long tunic tops over skinny pants that they wear. Oh yeah, he does have an Arab headscarf thing, like Yasser Arafat wore. And he has a World War I flying ace leather hat with earflaps that is lined with rabbit fur. Gumby is weird as fuck!

ballsofsteelandfury

You misspelled COOL

rockingdog

Found a funny;

me: I’m quitting, here’s my badge and gun

zookeeper: your what

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Super weird to see the entire scroll on a brewery’s untapped feed be you

Sharkbait

Isnt it? I did that at a brewery once. I stopped checking them in after I was 4 consecutive on the big board

rockingdog

Wat

“Gosh why does Zelenskyy seem so different and in touch with the needs of his people, unlike our own politicians?” Well for one thing he’s 44

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yo. I’m at a brewery and having a very hard time deciding which beers NOT to get to go.

scotchnaut

Sillycuse down 31-9 right now.

Dunstan

Ah, Katy Tur. The one thing I enjoyed about the 2016 campaign.

scotchnaut

sit in judgement

Is that code for “play footy computer game with me”?

Sharkbait

NERDS!

*Puts away flight stick and throttle. Closes Microsoft Flight Simulator

Mr. Ayo

You obviously have an internet connection, use it wisely.

Indeed. Off to pornhub.com Be back at some point.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Someone remember to check ayo for chafing.