Headlong Into the Void! Saturday Open Thread

Is the world still seven kinds of fucked?  YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.  Good think there’s Lesser Footy.  Everton overcame the runaway freight train that is Boreham Wood, so the Toffees are in the FA Cup Flacco Eight, and one win away from Wembley.  Strange days.

But for the Prem, we kick off bright and early with Jesse Marsch’s Leeds (yes that will feel strange for a few weeks, minimum) taking on always unpredictable Leicester (7:30, USA).  Hey, at least it’s something to do/watch.  New manager bump and all that (though I am skeptical).

Five matches in the 10:00 window, but ALL on Peacock only.  Fuck’s sake.  Norwich/Bees for those who like to watch car crashes.  Wolves/Palace likely your best bet for actual footbal.

Spotlight Dance sucks ass, unless Fronk’s Hammers suddenly find some form.  Otherwise, you’ll just have 90 minutes of grown men sucking off Jurgen Klopp (12:30, NBC).  A nap should be mighty tempting..

Sunday Funday doubleheader looks tasty, with Moose Hornets/King’s Afrikan Water Pistols (9:00, USA) leading us into the almost-always-bananapuddings Manchester Derby (11:30, USA).  Coverage of the latter will be unbearable if the Redshite win the day before.  YES, I am still all about the Cityzens winning the title, regardless of last week’s rogering-by-VAR at Goodison.

Speaking of, me Toffees are away to Spurs for Monday Night Footy (3:00, USA).  Will Dele Alli have his vengeance?  We sure as fuck need the point(s).  Who knows what version of Tottenham shows up.

Enjoy the matches, and/or whatever else is part of your Sabado Gigante.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

Adam Silver: Sitting On A Seat Next To A No Longer Relevant Comedian

Redshirt

When even Cuba goes “…the fuck you doing, Comrade?!”…

Cuba, Nicaragua decline to back Russia in U.N. vote on Ukraine | Miami Herald

Redshirt

Putin: “Мы атакуем Украину. Любое вмешательство будет считаться актом войны.”

(entire world takes money and business out of Russian economy)

Putin: “Я должен был быть более конкретным.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[background shot of a business in St. Petersburg]

…and don’t bring your American Express card. But also don’t bring your Visa, either.

https://twitter.com/Liveuamap/status/1500234267078676485

scotchnaut

Hoarder Wife: “The only upside to your weakened health is that you can’t throw any of my stuff in the garbage.”

Me: [has instructed son to throw multiple items into dumpster at work] “Hah! You got me!”

ArmedandHammered

Boy goes into 28 day inpatient tomorrow followed by halfway house which is on rehab campus, hopefully followed by sober housing. Went through his room and found 3 empt handles of vodka, two empty fifths of rum, pomegranate liquor, .5 gallon of cider, 12 wine bottles which includes the last 4 bottles of her most fav wine.

Thanks for all the support, this has been draining and incredibly painful, and your words have meant a lot to me.

scotchnaut

Wish Tabula was around to tell you what he’s going through.

litre_cola

RTD and I reached out to him but no response.

scotchnaut

Crap. Really worried about him.

Gumbygirl

I am too. He didn’t even show up for the Owl.

Horatio Cornblower

Anyone in touch with Viva?

Redshirt

I’m praying for healing and peace of mind.

NotShogunButShogun

Having been through rehab and currently in a sober living house, I sympathize. He’s going to be alright as long as he’s willing. There is a way out. Much love.

Game Time Decision

Very glad that you found him a place to help him so quickly.
Feel free to vent away here. Whatever we can do to help, let us know

Redshirt

Tell him if he screws up, you have friends online that like you better than him, and if he breaks your heart again, they will ensure his body will be found scattered across several states.

We also send our best wishes for a speedy recovery. 🙂

Screen+Shot+2015-06-20+at+4.14.38+PM.png (400×206) (bp.blogspot.com)

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Redshirt

My family just lost our matriarch as my grandmother passed away after a long life. Its not completely sad as she lived into her 90s, and was blind, deaf and suffering from dementia; its less a loss and more of a release. She’s now showing Sheamus my baby pictures and sharing embarrassing stories of my youth.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[raises glass to Redshirt’s grandmother]

scotchnaut

Seamus: “Those pics truly are wonderful. Have you ever read from the book of American Idiot?”

Redshirt

Grandma: “So then I told him if he doesn’t find himself a nice Christian lady to settle down with, I’m going to have to find one for him myself.”
Sheamus: “Yeah, that guy really needs to get laid.”
Grandma: “That’s what I said!”

Col. Duke LaCross

My Yia Yia is going through the same thing, minus the deaf and blind thing. She’s been trapped in her own body for the last six years. The only thing she can do by herself now is eat, and she eats more than I do. I wish she would just let go, but her heart is too strong.

Best wishes to you and your family amigo.

Redshirt

Same with my grandma. Their mind goes before their sprit is ready to go.

Gumbygirl

She saw some shit in her day! My Grandma died at 96, she was a bag of cats until the very end. I miss her.

Fronkenshteen

Shit. Looks like we’re losing Bowen long-term. Our offense is proper fucked now, Tommy.

scotchnaut

Syracuse vs a +.500 winning season-Who Ya Got?

/if they somehow manage it and reach 52 years in a row they’ll only be two years behind UCLA’S 54.
//kinda stunning that programs like Duke, Kentucky, Kansas and UNC have fallen along the way

Mr. Ayo

I’m going to pick the booger.

— J. Boeheim

scotchnaut

Follow Your Nose-To Victory!

-a Jim Boeheim autobiography (ghost-written by Toucan Sam)

Horatio Cornblower

It’s nice that Syracuse let a father spend so much time with his kids during his declining years.

Fronkenshteen

Welp, here we go!
/this is gonna suck

Redshirt

With everything going on in today’s world, you need to be a little more specific.

Fronkenshteen

Declan Rice is OUT for Rum Ham. Rest of Hammers starters are exhausted, and have an away tie vs Sevilla mid-week. Liverpool might steamroll today.

Horatio Cornblower

Andy Reid sighing at the Villanova-Butler game.

And yes, he was eating something

scotchnaut

Birds fly, fish swim, Andy eats.

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like Team Bonesaw is staying up.

scotchnaut

Shane Battier’s Never-Ending Forehead has aged surprisingly well.

Horatio Cornblower

Everything’s coming up Burnley!

And by “everything” I mean relegation.

Horatio Cornblower

Houston, after #397.

scotchnaut

Speaking of African basketball, Cameroon Stadium is packed already for Coach K’s sendoff.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Horatio Cornblower

I’ve never rooted for North Carolina in my life, except when they play Duke.

Today, I am a Tar ba…HEEL! Tar*heel*!

Whew, close one.

Gumbygirl

Sticky situation.

Mr. Ayo

More like Boournley

Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
litre_cola

One job Preston North End, one fucking job.

litre_cola

They did their job.

litre_cola

Forgot you have to support the tenants today.

scotchnaut

For those caught in the mighty grip of GAMBLOR [side-eyes Litre], I give you a Basketball Africa League tilt (available for viewing on TSN at 12:30) between Dakar-based DUC Dakar (coached by Sir Parfait Adjivon, I kid you not) and Seydou Legacy Athletique Club out of Guinea.

herodotus450

Ah shit I put my bet on the Seydou Legacy Athletique Club of French Guiana, not the Seydou Legacy Athletique Club of Guinea.

scotchnaut

Don’t be hard on yourself-it happens more often than you’d think.

Senor Weaselo

That’s some Judean People’s Front bullshit right there.

litre_cola

Splitter.

herodotus450

Ok I got it sorted–oh no, now I bet on the Seydou Legacy Athletique Club of American Guyana!

litre_cola

You sure its not Equatorial Guinea?

ballsofsteelandfury

Pretty sure it’s Guinea Bissau

litre_cola

You would think our very own Cecil Rhodes would have something to say about this.

scotchnaut

I need to lay down somewhere and contemplate the universe and Hippo’s new anti-pill stance.

litre_cola

Mrs. Cola noticed the pissing your pants commercials a while back. “Does everyone just piss themselves now?”

Senor Weaselo

After all, you’re not cool unless you pee your pants

Game Time Decision

-Billy Madison

ArmedandHammered

Up early for a Saturday because we have to send the boy to rehab soonest before we kill him. He fell off the wagon, rolled down the hill, and right into the liquor store. Broke into the liquor cabinet drank all the white liquor and while the wife and I went out with friends to celebrate my birthday and he drank several expensive bottles of the wife’s wine (like a total of 500 dollars worth). He needs intensive and expensive help and we are tired of being prisoners in our own house. Need some positive vibes sent my way, my imaginary internet friends.

litre_cola

My dude. I am sorry for your tough time. He will get through it but it will be a long road. All the best to the Hammered’s and 500 USD in White wine is A LOT!

ArmedandHammered

Lol, more like Sauterne, some Chaute Neuf De Pape, (all spellings aproximate) and a few others like that. I have now seen my wife really, really mad and I want to avoid that in the future.

litre_cola

If Sauternes then hell yeah it is expensive. The noble rot on the grapes make it special and pricey.
I just looked at my wine fridge and said to 4 year old Deci that I would sell him if any harm came to those bottles.

Game Time Decision

You can and will get through this. Just take it day by day, hour by hour. Totally a cliche, I know but its the way to make it work. And there are no home runs here. The goal is to just make today just a tiny bit better than yesterday, so you want a whole bunch of run it out infield singles. And while day over day it’s going to feel like there’s no progress, when you look, back a few weeks ago you will see it’s getting better. And it will get better.

Also, get help for yourself and your wife. Like professional help. The stress and strain mentally with this stuff cannot be overstated. And that’s on top of the other shit that’s already going on in this world to stress you out.

You got this man.
/dick joke
//edited to be clearer

Last edited 2 years ago by Game Time Decision
BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is really good advice. I have a friend who went through this a few years ago, and it was super hard on him and his wife. They blamed themselves and then blamed one another and the truth was it was a shitty situation that wasn’t anyone’s fault. Addiction sucks and is messy and it’s heartbreaking to see your kids fuck up but you can’t help him if you aren’t taking care of yourselves.

2Pack

I hope you can get him help. He needs to be in an inpatient program. After that it’s up to him. When you can get him to listen tell him from a friend that knows, sobriety is worth it. Sobriety will cure his illness.

Fronkenshteen

I’m really sorry to hear about your son. Alcoholism is a stone bitch, and I hope your family can have peace.

Gumbygirl

Hoo boy. Best place for him, and for you right now. Here’s hoping this time it works.

Brick Meathook

I’m setting up a Go Fund Me account to help this poor Ukrainian boy escape the terrors of his war-torn country. Please help! Donate $50 or $100 to help young Boryklyslav find peace and freedom in the west. Send your money to me and I will ensure it gets deposited properly.

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herodotus450

Does he perhaps have an older sister who’s in need of an green card marriage employment opportunity?

Brick Meathook

No, but for a pack of American cigarettes this kid will suck your cock.

litre_cola

I say NAY! No VAR in the C’ship just a late offside flag.

litre_cola

Memories of Lockdown past. How is Slutsk doing?

litre_cola

Will they have a Belarus, Russia, Moldova champs lge?

Don T

My plans for Sábado Gigante includes not having water until 9 PM on account of utility repairs. The netflix dirty money series is good, so it looks like it’s gonna be bunkerin’ and Imma give edibles a 27th try. All they’ve done so far is make me sleepy, which would be fine for today. This week almost buried me.

litre_cola

Bahahahahaha 2 nil, suck it Blackburn!

litre_cola

There we go! Cheap rebound, back of the net. The Whites continue their march to the title.

litre_cola

Oh good, the shit refereeing that I am used to in the C’ship is still a thing.

litre_cola

Well it could all turn Fulhamish which would be custom.

2Pack

LR Vicenza plays tomorrow. We no longer suck worse than 2 other teams in the B Series. Been on a roll lately. This is the LOCAL TV cover team. The lady here is a real sweetie. The guys are simply knuckleheads, but cool bros also. See this is B team sporty chicks here… the environment is friendly…

vic.jpeg
2Pack

And she is nawt shy about showin ’em! (you should SEE the malls over here… )

litre_cola

Put those on a sun dress and we are in business.

2Pack

FC Roma is playing today aso. This lady wanted you to know that.

roma.jpg
2Pack

Leeds Packers United?