Donks Back With the WOO!!? Charming 2022 Season Preview

Welcome to the first installment of our annual preview series, kicked off because I have fuckall else to write about.  July sucks all the ass.

As a supporter of the franchise who enjoyed almost two decades of Our Equine Lord and SavioUr, followed by a brief desert wandering, followed by the sunset of PeyPey’s illustrious career?  It’s hard to bitch too much.  Those fuckers did win three Superb Owls between them, Simpsons memes notwithstanding.  That should be enough for a lifetime.

But we live in the real world, and ain’t nobody ever satisfied.  The post-Manning era has been frustrating, until Spring 2022.  Lightning struck a THIRD time, and Charmslinger extraordinnaire Russell Wilson fell into our laps.  Well, maybe not quite that easy – the SeaTruthers did insist on a massive haul of draft picks.  But you will be hard-pressed to find one supporter who is complaining about the cost.  Especially Hippo, NC State graduate who gets to see BOTH Wilson and Bradley Chubb in mango and navy.

Oh, full Chubb has been achieved.  BUHLEE DAT!!

Part of the beauty of the Wilson trade – it finally shuts up all those mouth-breathers who howled about taking Pat Surtain over the likes of The Legend of White Mac (pedestrian) or Strawberry Fields (flat-out bust).  Surtain looks to be a generational-calibre CB, likely to be an all-pro for the next decade.  In a passing league, a shutdown corner is worth his weight in gold – you don’t pass those up at the 9th overall pick.  You want a longshot for NFL Defensive POY?  It’s Surtain.  He’s legitimately that good.

Former N-GCp weed enthusiast Randy Gregory joins the aforementioned Chubb to form a potentially dominant edge rush duo.  They just have to both stay on the field, which has been an issue for Chubb in particular.  Fun Fact!  Gregory apparently is wearing #5, to go along with Chubb’s #55.  That’s just so very pleasing, mathematically.

There’s not a whole lot of depth (behind Surtain) at corner, and inside linebacker remains a perennial weak spot.  But there’s no such thing as a perfect/complete roster, and Denver’s looks pretty close to optimal.  Quality and depth in the trenches, at WR, and with a potential breakout RB.  Great placement specialist, good punter.  Russ should be able to cook, and how well he does so should be the difference between 9-8 and 11-6 or so.

Yeah, the AFC West will be murderers’ row.  But fuck it, you’ll have to beat the best eventually to win the Owl.  I am ready to enjoy the tough neighborhood, and the many primetime viewing opportunities that come with it.

Admittedly, this might be a tough ask for a newbie head coach, who is like a full decade younger than your scribe.  But it’s not like RW is 40 – this isn’t a “last chance saloon” kind of season.  Should be at least a three year window, and it’s nice to be starting fresh with the coaching staff (as well as the QB).

As for prediciones?  Give me that 11-6, and a Wild Card berth.  Gauntlet THROWN.  Donks WOO!!!!! indeed.