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Wumbo Wednesday with Weaselo: This Bleeping Week

Senor Weaselo

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Evening, lizard people. I’m writing this a little after midnight, therefore it’s Wednesday morning, to bitch and/or moan and/or kvetch. It’s been a rough few days.

-Friday night/Saturday morning: Someone broke into my car. I’m glad that nothing was broken, no glass shattered, and the locks are their usual sometimes-working, which is probably how they got in. Nothing of value was taken, except for my sunglasses. Yeah, they’re Ray-Bans, but they’re not Aviators (because I didn’t want to look like a douchebag) and they’re prescription, so good luck trying to foist them on someone, dumbass.

-Sunday afternoon: Went to the precinct to call it in, and I had to re-park my car where the break-in occurred, call it in, and wait the obligatory “multiple pizza times” for the cops to arrive and take my statement. In hindsight, I should have gone to get food because right as I said that is when they came. I thought a cop car was coming for my call at one point, waved to flag them down, and they waved back at me. Which in hindsight is hilarious, but in the thick of things, it’s a little embarrassing and/or insulting. Once they got there everything was quick and painless. But the waiting is absolutely the worst part.

-Tuesday morning: Found out the class I was going to teach isn’t running in the fall due to enrollment. Hopefully it’ll run in the spring.

Elsewhere: *points to the general direction of things*

-Everyone and their mother is trying to tank animation and any other IP. Some things have gotten totally wiped for “tax losses.” Remember when streaming was supposed to be the new wave? Welp, it’s the old wave now, everything sucks again.

But it’s not all bad. We live in a world where commercials can Rickroll us!

Memes: They’re never gonna… well, you know the words. Anyway, what’s on tonight?

MLB Schedule (times are Eastern, check local listings)
Redshirts @ Always Sunnies, 7:05
TLR’s drunken stupor @ Return of Seven Nation Army, 7:05
Tungsten Arms @ Flappy Bois, 7:10
Definitely not the Leafs @ OF Misadventurers, 7:10
BRING BACK GUMBY @ Small Bears, 8:05
Jake Sucks @ Lorde ya ya ya, 8:10
Twinkies @ *stros, 8:10
Slip-n-Slides @ Fightin’ Vins, 9:00

Tiny baseball
Little League World Series, teams TBD 7:00 (ESPN)

“Shout-out to the WNBA…” (do not under any circumstances finish the line, Senor)
(3) Connecticut @ (6) Dallas, Game 3 (best of 3), 9:00 (ESPN)

Yeah, it’s odd, but for travel reasons, the upper seed gets games 1 and 2, and then the lower seed gets the potential decider Game 3.

ESPN Classic (pour one out for Home Run Derby)
Mike Tyson knocking people out (Mike Tyson fight compilation, ESPN2)

Balls-approved Mexy Lady Footy (Liga MX Femenil)
Santos Laguna vs. Tigres UANL, 10:00

And remember, just because it’s legal doesn’t mean you can smoke it on the train, no matter what people on the train did yesterday evening! Keep yourselves safe, keep others safe.

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Brick Meathook

The last Boeing 747 ever to be built, a model 747-8F, is currently being assembled in Everett WA, to be delivered to Atlas Air.

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Doktor Zymm

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I don’t understand why we aren’t doing this

1
Mr. Ayo

That would really ruin a lot of sight lines in the Bay Area though.

Unless you’re a big fan of staring into the void and pretending you’re a pretentious asshole.

Last edited 3 years ago by Mr. Ayo
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Doktor Zymm

If you think an orb view wouldn’t increase property prices you’re kidding yourself. It would be at least 5% of the defense budget to afford a 2 br condo with orbview.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Doesn’t that describe most of the Bay Area population?

1
Brick Meathook

And at the first seismic tremor it would just roll over downtown and along Market Street, or at least south towards San Jose, easily crushing the Bay Bridge completely down into the sea bed.

There would need to be giant obsidian anti-roll barricade pylons around it to prevent this. What’s that, another 2% of the defense budget? When does it stop? How many aircraft carriers is that? Do we have enough obsidian for this?

3
Doktor Zymm

Can we afford NOT to have enough obsidian for this?

3
Col. Duke LaCross

Jamal Williams might actually be insane.

0
Doktor Zymm

Herschel Walker is definitely actually insane

4
Gumbygirl

And dumber than dirt. Perfect Republican (sorry Redshirt!)

1
Gumbygirl

My sisters in law’s house is basically next door to March Air Force Base. They have been doing touch and go’s pretty much nonstop with ginormous tanker planes since we got here on Monday. It is loud. But their brand new kitten is entertaining! So cute, but my hands are shredded from his needle claws and teeth.

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Mr. Ayo

OMG, Kitteh!!!

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Doktor Zymm

Adorable, SHARP, kitteh! The hugs are worth the blood loss.

2
Gumbygirl

It’s dark in here, or I would send a picture. Somebody remind me tomorrow. He is beautiful, and wonderfully wild!

1
TheRevanchist

My show is starting now!!!

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2Pack

https://youtu.be/9dGP7ZyqWoQ

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I watched entirely too much of that Jags Preseason game. I feel dirty. Where’s my Jag Rag?

1
Gumbygirl

I have a Jag rag!

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TheRevanchist

If you win a gently used fleshlight (Hitachi?), you have a winning combo that is practically clean for every use.

2
Redshirt

I just got up to speed with what I propose we call in DFO History as “Fronkensteen’s Folly”.

Please note that I never had a serious love in my life and probably won’t. So, my advice is novice at best:

I’m don’t know exactly what you said in those emails, but even if its innocent, your wife is feeling betrayed, hurt and insecure. You’re probably going to catch some shit in the near future and have to forfeit some of the next fights. Just reenforce that your past “love” was just that, the past. Your wife, however, is your present and future.

My mother was best friends with her high school sweetheart after she was married with my father. Platonic relationships with past loves are possible, but anyone can understand why your wife is upset.

Just know that DFO is with you, 100% for support. All threads are open.

Unless your wife joins DFO, then it’ll devolve into a jury of your peers.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
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Wakezilla

That’s good advice.

I think going to see a counselor about this and your past that you said had messed you up would be a great sign to your wife that you feel remorse. Then maybe try couples therapy.

Time heals all wounds and hopefully she’s forgiving

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2Pack

An outside professional view is usually helpful. They point out behaviors in both people objectively that let us know shit like this is not that unusual. Two people who love each other go through it all the time.

2
2Pack

We are all flawed. We are all prone to wander emotionally. Coming back to what is true and real now for us is the important part. Talk to her and listen when she speaks. Try to be truly worthy of her forgiveness. We all think you are.

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Doktor Zymm

I don’t have normal relationships, so I’m not gonna add anything, but several people I know who do have normal relationships recommend therapy so that’s probably good advice a bunch of the time

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Couples counseling is great for learning new tools, i recommend it even if things are good to ok.

1
Sharkbait

Brian Hoyer has already been cut by the guy who “accidentally” drafted him.

Last edited 3 years ago by Sharkbait
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Brick Meathook

I think we have a new Weaselo-speak we need to learn. I like it.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Displacers are up 10-2 after five innings. Man did I pick a good time to hop onto this bandwagon or what?

1
Gumbygirl

Winning bandwagons are the best wagons. Don’t be on this one

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scotchnaut

I don’t know what is genius or how to describe it but I know it when I see it. (this isn’t even in her top ten funniest bits)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVKNQ6Qx2bo&ab_channel=LaughSociety

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Sharkbait

.

4
Brick Meathook

It’s the new vogue . . .

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shaquem Griffin was missing an appendage before it was cool.

But Brick was the one who made it cool.

5
scotchnaut

“But has he done porn and barely profited from it though? I’m just asking questions.”

-John Wayne Bobbitt

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

UPDATE: I’m on the plane.

Decided to risk it and pee after security but before my gate, which was before i realized this was almost the last gate in the terminal. But made it as they were boarding my southwest column.

6
WCS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I need to pee but I’m rushing to make a flight that is projected to start boarding five minutes before my Uber will drop me off at the airport. Wish me luck.

4
ballsofsteelandfury

Pro tip: Gatorade bottle

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Mr. Ayo

It takes at least 50 minutes to board. Take your time.

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Doktor Zymm

I predict you’ll make it and have time to pee onboard before they shut the doors

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

https://youtu.be/lSPNQ82Sq4E

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

(but I agree with you)

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Brick Meathook

Get on board and then pee into the bag provided in the seat pocket ahead of you. Hand it to the flight attendant and then order a vodka tonic.

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BugEyedBoo

This was a story on Defector, when they were doing badass grandpa stories. Gramps was going to fly to watch his grandson’s graduation ceremony from law school. Gramps wasn’t particularly afraid of flying, but he really didn’t want to go to the bathroom on the plane. A couple of days before the day they’re going to fly he shows off how he’s planning to deal with having to piss on the plane; he had cut a hole in a pair of rubber underpants, and had glued a hose to the hole. The hose would run down his pants leg, and when he had to go the urine would just run out the hose. Voila, problem solved! The puddle on the floor of the plane was going to be someone else’s problem. His daughter, the narrator, was not amused.

Anyway, the in-flight magazine, that airsickness bag, and a little Yankee ingenuity should let you come up with a field-expedient solution similar to Gramps’ solution. Let us know how it works out!

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Doktor Zymm

I need to restock on mediocre wine, and I’m not going to open anything nice tonight since I’ll be drinking lots of free fancy wine tomorrow on my way to Singapore, so rail gin and soda cooled and slightly flavored by a popsicle it is!

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scotchnaut

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

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Gumbygirl

She’s a fucking lady!🎵🎶

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Doktor Zymm

They actually come look at the break-in? When my car was broken into in San Jose they just told me to go file a police report via an online form, there wasn’t even a place to attach a picture. I guess it’s convenient, but it’s also based around a tacit understanding that they aren’t going to do shit about it and they’re just taking your info so you have a police report for insurance which is pretty crap.

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s the way it works in LA too. One of my employees was a victim of a Hit and Run while at work and the best they could do was an online form he filled out at the police station.

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litre_cola

The least they could do is give em a courtesy beating with the report number.

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ballsofsteelandfury

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scotchnaut

“It was a fucking broomstick-get your facts right!”

-The NYPD

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herodotus450

“My car got broken into!” no response
“They left drug paraphernalia and a copy of Guns n Ammo in the back!” no response
“There’s a middle-class tax cut in the trun-” SIR STEP AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE

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Doktor Zymm

In the form instructions they did specify that if a gun had been stolen out of my car then I would have to file in person

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Brick Meathook

When my car got stolen the LAPD came to my place right away and two detectives took all my info down and got right on the case. While we were working we ordered lunch delivered and they even picked up the tab, with drinks. When they left they offered me a loaner police cruiser (a Challenger with lights and siren – it was cool) and I was going to take it too but then they discovered I had just parked my car in the wrong space; it was parked next to my assigned space. They were really good guys and they even even moved my car for me. But man I wanted to drive that cruiser around for a bit. Oh well.

3
SonOfSpam

Being white is pretty cool sometimes!

1
scotchnaut

“Oh, you sweet North American child.”

-Albinos in Burundi and Tanzania

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BugEyedBoo

When our house was broken the cops came out, looked at it, and said it was a darn shame. That was it.

What did wake up the cops was stealing mail. It took a couple of weeks, but eventually they caught the thieves who were ripping off mailboxes in our neighborhood.

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Senor Weaselo

“Look at the break-in” is a bit strong. They just took my report. It was also around 36 hours hours later so not much they could do.

0
Sharkbait

Brian Hoyer was just drafted in this auction. The guy in the auction claimed it was a “mis-click”

Last edited 3 years ago by Sharkbait
3
WCS

/Brian Hoyer’s dad exits the chat

1
scotchnaut

I’ll take, “What is the most white guy thing that a white guy has ever done in ever for $1,000, Alex”

0
litre_cola

Litrepug does NAWT want to go in the dog backpack for a bike ride.

1
WCS

I wouldn’t either.

4
TheRevanchist

So the booze is set for tonight’s premier. Now I’m in a scramble to get the kids and wife dinner, change her bandages, do some laundry, and get the dishes done beforehand.

Ryan and Rob will be live tweeting the east coast feed, so I am staying off Twitter until I am done watching tonight.

1
WCS

Ryan and Rob, together again?

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TheRevanchist

*Wearing socks in case I have the wrong pair of Ryans and Robs

3
Sharkbait

Boris and I are in a yahoo auction draft at the moment.

1
scotchnaut

Don’t stand too close to any open windows, just sayin’.

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ballsofsteelandfury

WOO! Sexy Mexi Lady Liga MX mention!

3
litre_cola

Bueno.

1
blaxabbath

Decided I am going to put my company in for an industry project award. The write up is due at the end of October and I’m never again working with the company we did the project under. I’ll throw their name on the award application because I must but I’d rather not win the thing than ask those dicks for any help.

Still, we need some shit on the walls around here.

Anyone know any gig folks who do this kind of crap?

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Like grant-writing or submitting an application for recognition?

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blaxabbath

Like submitting an application for recognition.

I’m too WHITE and WENT TO WAR TO PAY FOR MY COLLEGE! for uncle Brandon to give me a taste of his stupid trickle down economics that actually pushes cash back out into the economy when I got investment properties to buy!

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Brick Meathook

If it’s anything like the Oscars or Emmy’s it’s really just based on whose cock you suck and how many times you suck it. Take it up the ass a few times for extra credit. That’s all.

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
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TheRevanchist

*Stares at banana on the counter

Blax, I’ll be there to take your application around 2 in the morning. I promise you it won’t take more than 20 seconds.

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blaxabbath

Honestly, it should be an easy winner. I just need it presented well.

0
Wakezilla

The problem with being short staff and HR being large dildos about not hiring more people in my department is that I’m burning out so badly. So now that it’s finally dying down and I can work on projects, I’m way too exhausted to work on them.

5
blaxabbath

Plus you get so used to the large dildo that when a short staff shows up, it’s unimpressive.

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TheRevanchist

Things are just so much better when you got people working under you.

2
litre_cola

Today in my ass backwards province they announced that there will be tax payer money spent on a statue……. of Winston Churchill.

1
Wakezilla

WHAT!?!

0
Brick Meathook

Churchill has a checkered (chequered?) career and it was an extremely long one. But in the late 30s he was the only one in Britain who was standing up to Nazi Germany, and that did indeed have a major impact on how events played. He was a diehard proponent of the British Empire, even though in 1911 as First Lord of the Admiralty he pounded the death nail into the British Empire when they converted the Royal Navy from coal to fuel oil. And this has everything to do with everything. The British Empire in its heyday did more to shape this planet into the modern world it is, and they did much more good than bad. They are like Standard Oil in that regard. And everyone today in the western world is a direct beneficiary of the British Empire and Standard Oil, far more than you possibly realize. If you really really hate them with a childish zeal than you should give up all those benefits and put your money and your ass where your mouth is, and don’t be a hypocrite or a limousine liberal.

One other thing about Winston Churchill: that man could drink like a champ. He drank before breakfast and drank all day. And this is from reading his own books you learn this. He should get a statue just for that.

This has been another Moment With Brick Meathook™ sponsored by Exxon and BAE Systems

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
6
litre_cola

Why in the fuck are we putting a statue of anyone right now, let alone Winston Churchill in Alberta.

Now, with the oil angle I can see it here with this party in power. However zero was said about that by our premier.

0
Doktor Zymm

Statues are public art, and therefore they should all be timeless and attractive. This rules out most statues of people.

3
King Hippo

I think Sir Churchill was exactly thr right man for his times, but he’s (i) hardly some hunk; and (ii) not at all Canadian, eh?

1
Brick Meathook

litre_cola, I was not referring to you personally in my Churchill screed, particularly the part about being a hypocrite. That comment (and my whole speech, really) was directed at a larger audience in general, people who decry certain aspects of western civ while actively enjoying the benefits of it, and that’s a big group. You’re A-OK, litre.

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I once had to go on the grounds of BAE systems to take a measurement near the airport in San Jose. They were surprisingly cool about it after an initial period of being worried that I was engaged in espionage.

2
Mr. Ayo

This is worse than whatever Fronk did.

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Fronkenshteen

/dying +1

12
Mr. Ayo

Oh, just got caught up from the earlier thread.

I’m wrong.

This is *way” worse than what Fronk did.

4
litre_cola

Just caught up too. Fronk, focus on the positive and work towards the goal with and for yer missus.

3
Redshirt

I’ve never been more afraid to look at a previous DFO thread than I am right now.

0
Gumbygirl

They could save a few loonies, and just spray paint one of those Bob’s Big Boy statues.

6
ArmedandHammered

Instead of a burger he holds a whiskey and the other hand holds the cigar.

2
TheRevanchist

Actually, judging by his physique, you won’t have to repaint the burger.

2
Fronkenshteen

I love everyone here. I am ok and thank you for your thoughts. I fucked up really bad and hurt my family and I’m having a tough time dealing with who I am and what I did. But you guys, as always, came thundering over the ridge like the fucking cavalry. Long live DFO. This place is important and beautiful.

15
WCS

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We gotcha, bud. Hang tough.

7
Fronkenshteen

I will. Gotta give some people some space for awhile and stop acting like a goddamn teenager.

8
Sharkbait

Glad you’re ok. We’re always here to be sounding boards.

3
Wakezilla

I’m here for you comrade, as is everyone else here I’m sure.

This place really is amazing. Even though I haven’t been able to post much the past 2 years (boo, work!), I’m still thinking about this place.

Last edited 3 years ago by Wakezilla
3
Fronkenshteen

Thanks Wakey. You guys have no idea what a mental anchor you are for me. It’s almost embarrassing in a way. For me. Not for you guys.

6
ArmedandHammered

I understand, when my boys alcoholism was causing issues, this was a wonder place to vent and receive support. Probably kept me from doing something stupid.

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Gumbygirl

+1 for cavalry, not calvary!

1
SonOfSpam

Got somethin against crucifixions?

5
ArmedandHammered

Need to bring religion back into criminal justice system, and the added benefit is no recidivism!

1
Gumbygirl

Too much hanging around. I prefer instant gratification.

3
yeah right

Of all the advice I could offer, don’t ever go back to a first love. I was infatuated with my first and it never left until I actually reconnected with her.

Turns out the greatest thing that ever happened in my life was having that relationship end when it did.

I dodged a weapons grade disaster by getting away from her.

Cosign what everyone else said and kiss the wife.

Last edited 3 years ago by yeah right
2
Don T

I’ve had to apologize a lot. After screwing up majorly and receiving anger, the hopelessness feels unending. The guilt is paralyzing.
Feeling guilt points to having good values, but a therapist told me that guilt seeks punishment. She was right. Guilt buries. Guess that’s why superficial folks are so chipper.
Making things right requires action and courage. Regaining trust, a fuckload of patience. It’s a worthy cause, man. We’re here for you.

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