TGIF! So long, work week.
With an entirely predictable lack of good judgment, DFO has conscripted me into the content mines. Little do they know the only thing I write is code and dry technical texts. Of course, I’m not here for my writing, but some writing needs to be written anyways. So how about a survival tip?
Survival – Personal Edition
With fall upon us, it’s time to look ahead and prepare for winter. So, let’s talk about surviving an avalanche! Ok, odds are pretty low, but there are a few things you can do to improve those odds.
- First, don’t play dead. That will make you actually dead.
- Gear up. You’re going to need a beacon, an avalanche probe, and a small collapsable shovel.
- Find a few suckers, friends, and/or strangers to accompany you in the wilderness. The more the merrier, but they all need the above mentioned equipment and sense of adventure.
- Find some avalanche territory. Look for new snow on the side of a mountain. It also helps if there are some reckless snowmobilers about. They’re really good at starting them.
- Wait for said avalanche.
- When the snow arrives starting trying to swim, free-style method, to help stay on top of the snow.
- When that fails and you’re covered, hope that one of those folks with you didn’t get buried and saw you. They should be poking you shortly with their probe and then digging you out.
- At this point, you’re probably too hurt to dig yourself out. If not, try to clear a space out in front of you and spit. Pay attention to which way the spit falls. Then start digging in the opposite direction.
If you’re still reading this, congrats! You survived the avalanche using only your wits, cunning, and bold decision-making in a time of crisis.
Click here to get to commenting
Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!
What. A. Game.
Pic # 2 HAS to be a ballerina.
By the way, JMU, in its first year in division I, suddenly and VERY unexpectedly has a schedule filled with fucking giant-killers. They have to play the vanquishers of Notre Dame (Marshall), Texas A&M (Appalachian State), and Virginia Tech (Old Dominion). Not to mention fucking Louisville.
I like how this fight song for the victorious side is straight from 1936 Soviet Union.
The good news: I saw my second cousin today ! Drove her and her friends to and from a frat party at JMU. I haven’t seen her since she was 4 or 5, so it was interesting and downright delightful to see her getting all banged up and having fun, but also being the one who got her home safe. The bad news: The reason my cousin & his ex-wife insisted that she call me for rides is apparently there’s a crisis on campus involving Mennonite imposters attempting to abduct females right off the JMU campus, and using tracking devices to do it. Spooky shit. That campus is 500 feet from the I-81 onramps, and it is not a toll road. You could disappear people in a finger snap. So I tipped my cousin off, he called his daughter and told her to call me if she needed to go anywhere. It was so great to see her! Anyway parents weekend is in a week, and we’re all gonna have a nice reunion over grilled meats and adult beverages. Bad news II: Went to a dermatology appointment today for a second look at a suspicious patch on my back. Did not go well. Biopsy city. Gonna be a loooong couple weeks waiting for those results to come back. Terrified.
Be well Brother Fronk. We need you.
Love love love
Good on you for being the DD/safety shuttle.
Don’t panic until/unless the docs tell you to panic. You got this, whatever it is.
So weird. I haven’t seen since she was a little ankle-biter, and now I’m dropping her and her friends off at a frat party. It was satisfying when I pulled into the driveway to pick her up, and some sneering frat fuck looked at my Uber sticker and said “ What’s the name?” and I could say “I’m here to pick up my cousin” with a LOT of “fuck you” behind my eyes. Fiona Moriarty. Remember her name, asshole. And tell your friends. She’s with me. I’m baking her and her roommates a ziti before I come to town to drive tomorrow. My cousin (her dad) said she’s been thinking about leaving because she’s uncomfortable being so far from New Jersey. I’d love me & my family to be the reason she changes her mind and feels comfortable enough to stay. Thank you for your kind words. They mean an awful lot to me.
That’s good karma. You got this.
You guys are absolutely the fucking best. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This grand final is a Robert Smith dream.
I’ve got a fucking head cold. First time in 3 years. Took a COVID test this morning with photographic evidence! Negative!
I’m sure I’m just a wimp because it’s been so long since I’ve had an illness.
Now I’m goofed out on cold meds and whining like a baby.
More beers might help.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAsTlnjvetI
I’ll tell you what a doctor told me a few months ago when Girlzilla was hospitalized: Colds are back and they are hitting people really hard.
I’m sure part of it is we haven’t dealt with anything like this but I can attest that it does truly suck.
In beautiful Winnipeg for a wedding. Left a dinner to watch the grand final.
I say this with all of my soul. Fuck Sydney.
Geelong shares your opinion.
No spoilers!
Of course, good sir.
Its the final. 10 pm where u r. Watch.
It’s 1:21am, sir. I’m watching some, will not finish it.
Shit. I forgot u moved.
Were you an honorary banjo player at the wedding?
I feel like this could be a banner image for something
She didn’t understand either
https://64. media.tumblr.com/466db16429f57a0d775b50371b676d3a/1d0ea8066f22d71e-c1/s540x810/f149f27d73d8805bdcabe03a7e1a61b239ba45fc.jpg
Too far man
Agreed.
Also shaved is overrated
Unless you’re into Barbie dolls or unless you’re Matt Gaetz
Bottom a must. Top, landing strip A OK
Disagree but to each their own
Was worried about that. Can’t edit anymore though.
Outstanding Mr. Ayo. That last lady in the pigtails has my undivided attention.
I need to coach her on maintaining proper posture throughout the entire rep. Least I can do.
Good for PooHoles. He never took drugs which is why he sucked with the Angels and he clearly just magically got good again this year.
Bold take: Pieholes will finish with 699 HRs.
This aged well!
IT DID
Do I see curves? Yes, yes I do.
HE WAS JUS AKSING QUSTIONS LIBRARDZ
https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/34651998/ex-washington-state-coach-nick-rolovich-speaks-why-comply-state-vaccine-mandate
“Is Bill Gates mountain lair surrounded by burning pentagrams that are 20 feet high? Tell me the truth!”
The pope told Catholics to get the fucking vaccine. This guy is just another tinfoil-hatted MAGA. Asshole.
Cuse pulls it out by the skin of Boeheim’s wooden teeth.
picks nose in solidarity
Sillycuse qb Schrader has the pocket awareness of 4th year pro Danny Dimes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASZNexmInyw
Had they ran the ball up the middle and not…SNAPPED ON 20, they would have run the clock out on Wahoowa.
Was SillyCuse’s head coach named after the Flintstones’ dog, and if so, how has it impacted his career trajectory?
It’s the worst, since every time they watch film he sticks his head through the ceiling.
I can absolutely NOT stop visualizing this, and it’s much more entertaining than Boise/UTEP
Thank you for being old enough to get the reference!
Also, a colonoscopy sans drugs is more entertaining than Boise-UTEP.
I just wish BIDEN WOULD GO TO EL PASSO MOAR AND DO SOMETHING!!11!
…..I feel old knowing some people on this board wouldn’t get that.
Me and pops would always call our Rottweiler mix Dino because she would stick her head out the sunroof and carry around a comically large rawhide bone
Aw that’s a good puppy!
Ayo also Nailed It! with the concise-as-fuck byline to describe hisself.
This is not my car!
This is not my beautiful wife!
Something Something life
She needs to shift her arms so I can fully appreciate her shoulders tho
Close enough?
Oh my!
True perfection
I’m bored, so here’s aerith’s VA recreating the scene from the game
She seems nice.
That’s what makes this scene great… she is nice…. till you get in her way
festive TWO!
Broke down and got Apple TV for the game.
So far I would have to say that the announcers are as bad as I was told to expect.
SHANK’LOR has cursed you thrice, and you’re losing by six.
It’s not meant to be, Wahoos.
Now THAT is sexy
Wahoos putting “special” in “special teams” with their third summoning of SHANK’LOR tonight.
USAF up 17, oh you NOE WCS is all hype chuh chuh
I do like that both the Giants and Sillycuse have undefeated records that are the result of smoke, mirrors and underwhelming talent that got lucky.
BTW, the AFL Grand Final is tonight at 9:30 Pacific with my Geelong Cats taking on the Sydney Swans.
You can alternatively consider it the Australian Nazi Sex Derby with TWBS’ Cats taking on Australian Nazi’s Swans.
He totally banged her. He’s dead so he can’t argue it. Let’s hope he uses some magical juju to get the Cats over the line.
Start praying to god of shitty music for help.
Them priest fellers is on a sinking boat. Priest on the left says “Get the childrem on the lifeboats first.” Centre priest says “Fuck the children!” Priest #3 (on right) says “Do you think we have time?”
I always heard that joke as a teacher, a lawyer, and a priest.
that does work better but as you may have heard…I do quite a lot of drugs and my brain is lukewarm oatmeal now
I miss instant apples-and-cinnamon oatmeal.
And also when someone else made it for me.
I buy those microwavable packets of that, and I have zero shame!
AFL Grand Final time!!!! Live on FS1!
If that first chick needs a little sugar in her coffee…
(reaches into pants)
I have some packets of Equal here.
Also, I like my women like I like my coffee…ground up and stored in the freezer.
“Go on…”
And here I was, thinking I had the best phrase to embarrass my kids (“I like my coffee the way I like my Presidents. BLACK”) but as always Spam wins the day.
Ok Rudy.
https://twitter.com/RonFilipkowski/status/1573460126102601728?t=HIB1Ti3NDK1r5_ik6wFGMQ&s=19
Here’s my contribution to Sexy Friday
https://twitter.com/WUTangKids/status/1573366876570537984?t=pKRCS_lWtUZa3hOUhw8nBQ&s=19
almost as hot as that Shaggy tattoo the other night!
I’m here to help
Is an avalanche probe what I think it is or what Balls thinks it is?
You know the answer to that question is a resounding yes.
BTW, I love love love the banner image. Awesome work!
Oh! I get it now. Agreed, delightful.
I do not. HELP.
Birds and donkeys. Duh.
?v=1637292025
I AM NOT SMRT
Thank you for the elucidation.
I am SO PROUD!!
/snif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3Ajzw_36oU
Sniff it is.
[wipes away tear]
That’s 53,195 times in a row I’ve laughed at this GIF.
Never forget.
https://mobile.twitter.com/brandonperna/status/811281971624218624?lang=en
Close enough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKwW8PNZpOQ&ab_channel=SouthParkStudios
FRESH FISH!!!
/and OH MY, that is good ribcage and sideboob loveliness, you’ve a good eye
//looking forward to tonight’s avalanche burial dreams
Is she a textbook example from WAY up there in the top right corner of the Hot-Crazy Matrix. Yes. Would the relationship only last 2 months at most? Yes. Would there be really high highs and really low lows? Yes. Would the 2 months relationship age you 5-10 years and likely end with you in handcuffs and her taking your money and gently cutting you in a hotel? Yes.
But would it be worth it for those high, highs? Abso-fucking-lutely
https://twitter.com/DoomrDiariesV2/status/1572353665796538370?s=20&t=p60Iqx1zuklW_o5pJa50Tw
the beautiful ones is always so cray
Would you end up in a bathtub full of ice with at least three organs missing?
Also yes.
Yeah, but the sex before it would totally be worth it!