Welp, I guess the Fins are sorta for real-I’ll say it again, I really like Nerd Coach’s play-calling. Houston jumped out to an early lead and couldn’t hold on. (I’m sensing a pattern) I’ll stop right now because I don’t want to step on Hippo’s hooves.
To The Game!
Niners/Broncos:
-The newly-configured Denver O-brought to you by Wilson-is giving the team 16 (exactly 16! No more, no less) points a game so far this year. I was told there would be a transition involved but I figured it would be positive. Will they reach 18? Perhaps 20 tonight? Baby steps.
-The running game is a mixed bag-both Javonte and Melvin are averaging 5+ ypc but don’t have a TD between them. You’d think that drought would end tonight.
-Brittle Kittle is finally back!
-Called It! Some fella by the name of Jerry Rosburg-a former Ravens assistant head coach-was in the building by Wednesday last week. His role is to advise Hackett with in-game decisions and provide him with ‘guidance’ and ‘not fucking up’ simple decisions, I’m guessing.
-Hackett has committed himself to improving which is wonderful because it seems as though there is a chasm he has to cross.
-Great Find? Rook 4th round cb Damarri Mathis was pressed into action last week when Surtain suffered an injury. He was graded out at 77.9 by the fine folks over at PFF, garnering a top 5 freshman score for week 2.
-Curious Prop Bet Opportunity: Deebo’s longest reception has been placed at 22.5 yards. He exceeded that number 20 times last year and Jimmy G. unloaded a few deep throws last week. In addition, going back to the beginning of last year the Broncos have allowed a catch of 23+ yards in all but one tilt. Sounds like money.
Do your thingy.
mikaela!
I bet she smells like fresh-baked cookies.
I would like to go skiing with her and Lindsay Vonn, and then hang out in the hot tub after for some apres ski.
Ok, I lied. I don’t want to do the skiing part.
Sweet, can skip SNF next wee….
goddamnit hoisted by my own petard
Mandatory.
I like the name ‘Deebo’. It sounds like a cute video game character in a Japanese puzzle game
who you callin cute
https://twitter.com/mleif/status/1574127445908885504
How is that fuck not at least been charged?
Forget it, Spur. It’s Mississippi.
too white, too rich, too famous, too much of an institution to meathead jocks
Charmslinger really did take his offense with him.
I think Charmslinger may be having an affair. This seems like the sort of reduction in power caused by delicious, delicious adultery
He needs to apologize to Black Jesus, and STAT
as a bears fan the donks’ offense looks terrible
which is saying a metric ton
I think the DONKS are nawt good.
I concur with your thinkings
I fear this, but denial is sustaining me
So that neutral zone infraction a few minutes back happened at the exact same time as a baseball thing, I was temporarily confused by the excitement
“Balance of Terror”. An episode so good, they decided to do it again in “Strange New Worlds”.
oof, this ain’t no good
-Hermann Goring, late 1944
There’s video of White Mac being carted down the stadium stairs, seemingly crying in pain.
The comments are…something.
In. Com. Plete.
Caller #5 says the team is closer than they seem. It’s all a marathon, not a sprint, this guy thinks. Gotta be patient.
Lot of people think DeAndre Hopkins in Week 7 will fix this team.
It’s nice that they’ll be able to maintain their delusions for a few more weeks
The Qardinals actually make me happy with my current coach/QB combination.
At least we didn’t gamble our next 10 years and a quarter billion on that shitshow.
All I want is for Mike Bidwill to show up doing something offensive in that Robert Sarver report.
preseason: “the afc west is gonna be a thunderdome with all those great QBs”
afc west in week 3:
This would complete an oh-fer for the week. Other losses to…Tits, Jaguras, Humps (combined 1-5 entering today). YIKES
ah fuck you wordpress
Now THAT is how you call a pass when you’re pretty well at the goal line. What a cool play. I loved that.
Bumper music!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn8CZyqfex8
Caller #4 is done wit this team and is sick of bad drafting and they go to sports bars out east (she lives in NC) and no one is watching the Cardinals in there but her!
She’s calling for the GM to be fired. They told her he just got an extension so they’ll discuss other things that aren’t as important as who the GM is.
Remember when the Donks had a good Defense?
Pepperidge Farm is drawing a blank, but that might be the opiates talking
Gotta love those opium dusted butter cookies tho
Brock Osweiler remembers. They made him rich.
Did you know that Brock Osweiler is very tall?
meh, the AiyukDown makes me less fantasy nervous
Caller #3 backing up Vance. Keim didn’t get him any tools and everyone is blaming Vance.
For the record, I agree.
I mean…they allowed TWENTY POINTS.
Janeane is looking spot on
At least this spinach dip is good, and the bartender is excellent even if he is wearing a Cow jersey
Holstein or Dallas?
Dallas, I would be down with Holsteins
All you LA types – JUST SAYING my life’s dream is for the actual Janeane Garafolo to pick up on the meme, love it, and join the Clubhouse. HIPPO WOULD DIE HAPPY
I can’t believe TAWMMY’s dumb faceblind ass is still funny six years later. I’m giddy every time I see it used.
https://doorfliesopen.com/2017/11/10/bye-week-update-new-england-patriots-3/
Great post. Lofty post.
I absolutely hear his voice every time a P*ts clip comes on
It can’t be only six years?
.
Evening, you fine wet orifices.
I have returned from camping, and although sour about A) being kept from football this afternoon and B) dealing with this latest Mac Jones injury and loss, I am thrilled to have had great weather and company all this time.
Now, let’s see what these cartoonish definitions of QB charisma can do out there.
Mostly you just missed some failed comebacks.
dagnabbit, needed that pickerception
Jeff Wilson Jr needs to blow a knee.
I have Marlon Mack in money league, so heavy co-sign
Mr. Marlon Mack…Mack…Mack…
All dressed in black…black…black…
Mike Shanahan can go fornicate himself for what he did to RG3.
I would be happy if we could set up some sort of horrible fornication scenario for him and the rest of the WAS organization at the time
The [Redacted]-acrats?
Admins! The R-word got past the Filter Gremlin!
EDIT: Now it filtered. I guess he was on break.
No, I went back in and redacted it – I was counting on the filter to DO ITS JERB and it failed.
Did the Redacted Filter go MAGA or something?
Melissa Stark is a much better reporter and questioner, not just eye candy.
and with much fewer ties to maga than her predecessor!
Seriously, fuck Michele Tafoya with Trump’s mushroom dick. I was never actually convinced she was a woman anyway.
I saw Tafoya earlier in her career, doing local sports, and she was awful then, too
Cardinals Talk with opening callers who trust things for the 1-2 (with an OT comeback win against the Raiders) Cardinals will just work themselves out.
Culture.
Qulture
Kliff’s Kulture Klub?
The amount of people calling for McDaniels’ head is kind of astounding to me. 0-3 is very bad, to be sure, but they were all one-score games against teams with winning records last year.
It’s also his first year there.
The team leading the Cardinals ALL JUST GOT EXTENSIONS.
But that ways lies being the LIouns last year
14-12? looks like skipping the rodgers/brady knobfest was the right idea
it was awesome how little of it made its way onto RedZone, until very late
I thought Brady was trying to flee from the Rodgers handshake at the end, but Quaaron hunted him down.
I feel bad for rooting against Janeane, but I am sure she understands.
She can still have a good game with Donks win
this is fine point. I’d rather have Jeff Wilson fumble anyhow
We have obnoxious song sign! Lucky for me this bar doesn’t have the sound on yet, although nawt sure the music is much better. Did place one bet, so could watch in the sportsbook but wanted a bite to eat. The Luxor is kinda downmarket
If you chant D-O-N-K-S and ppl look at you funny, just tell them that Hippo is a bad imaginary influence. Like James Spader, but fat instead of balding.
Gumby has an absolutely insane hatred for James Spader. I think it’s because he kind of looked like my other boyfriend in high school, when he was young. Get over it babe, Spader is old now and other boyfriend died years ago!
I like the Diablo bar/resto upstairs from the lobby. Service there is phenomenal.
We decided to eat at Mario Batali’s jernt in Bellagio. Damn, I guess it was way more than a couple of years ago!
It really is! We stayed there a couple of years ago, and let’s just say I’ve been in much cleaner and classier Motel 6’s.
Not a fan of the panoptican style and the single tiny bank of elevators per floor
I don’t make it to Vegas much these days, but when I did I remember the Luxor being the new hot thing, while the Excalibur was the run-down place — but a friend of mine remembered when the Excalibur was the new hotness. And on it goes, I guess…
I think they build them with a sell- by date. Knock ’em down, on to the next one!
Well, the Excalibur is still the most run-down place. It’s like $19/night
Just like me!
D-O-N-K-S!!! Panel disrespects the Charmslinger, too.
I need 12+ points from Williams to beat Don T., who honestly could use the win, and electrical power, more than me right now.
Don’t forget clean drinking water, too!
I’m already giving him my thoughts and prayers. What more does that ungrateful bastard want?!
Kudos to Tua today but the kid has a Rockette arm.
yeah, I fhink maybe Week 2 was an aberration after all?
I can’t wait for his arm’s Christmas special
Ben Skowronek is a dope name
That players warm up on the field, then go back into the tunnel, just so they can come back out to cheers strikes me as a bit indulgent.
It seems the defending Spampion in the Vodka league will be 0-3.
Damn, I was hoping the Raiders would be the only 0-3 team, if only so I could claim them as iconoclasts.
The Raiders are also somehow 0-3 in Bundesliga despite that being an entirely different sport
Watching the simpsons season premiere.
For no reason than me and my dad are too lazy to change the channel
You’re cosplaying Bart right now?
Man when I was young I thought Bart was the shit.
Made a big batch of fresh pasta today. 1/4 of it is going to be linguini with clams tonight, and the rest is destined for mushroom ravioli.
Looks like I will probably get my first win in Vodka league, despite my not great lineup setting skills. Phew!
Feel you there. I was on a plane and started Julio Jones vs Rev…
It’s always very suspenseful getting off a plane and checking what happened
One thing I’ve learned from giving the local casinos years of my wages, it doesn’t matter how you play if it ends with more chips being put in front of you.
Since the Bengals won this week, and every good and loyal fan is superstitious about their team, I have to continue to do what I differently during the other two weeks they lost, which was…no gambling? Aw, hell. Couldn’t it be something easier that I wouldn’t miss, like drinking soda or pooping.
In case you didn’t hear it in the last thread:
*deep inhale*
DUUUUUUUUUUVVAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!
Man, you have the right to flex. 38-10 away (even if the Clips have no supporters), no small beer.
Congrats!
Princeton Red is even worse than I expected he would be. CHRIST. How does NBC get the Prem so right, then give us….this tripe.
The Secret Society of the Princeton Eating Club has far-reaching tendrils in many aspects of modern life?
I just heard the phrase “well, like Coach Dungy said… and as Coach Garrett said…”
I blame America. You fuckers like to mock the British for still having titles, and Canada for still having a queen or king, but we’re not the ones who still refer to someone by a job they haven’t held for decades. If you were a member of Parliament 30 years ago, you’re Mr. (or Ms.) So-and-So. In America, you’re Congressman/woman So-and-so.
I like the way the Germans do it. I aspire to one day become a doktor doktor instead of just a doktor
Thompson Twins nod appreciatively.
Ded in Vodka League, my opponent and I both sucking in Money League (just need Jeff Wilson NOT to outproduce Deebo + Aiyuk, at least by any significant margin).
STILL VERY ANXIOUS
Yeah, this will turn into a Real Housewife’s of Westeros liveblog by halftime. 49ers have a point to make tonight with Jimmy G.
I need big games from Jeudy, Gordon, Kittle, and Aiyuk. So basically, I needed the shootout to end all shootouts. We’re talking 71-68, here.
I can get behind this
“At the request of Rikki, we will be adopting soccer style timing of two 45 minutes periods with stoppage time. In case of a tie at the end of 90′, shootouts from the 20-yard line 7-on-7 style.”
If Jevonte gets 100 points tonight I’ll win by 5.