Evening lizard peo—*gets message through earpiece*—Wait, really? I knew it was an Illuminati joke, but… ahh, I gotcha. Damn bigots, it’s why we can’t have nice things. Fine, though that does kill a long-running bit, but we’re nothing if not trying to be better people. Anyway…

For your reading pleasure tonight… we still don’t have the BattleBots Beaties written, but in fairness I’ve been busy enough to not think of piecemealing it. It needs to go up by next week before filming starts for this upcoming season, so there. We’ve got a deadline. Anywho…

Last weekend Senorita Weaselo and I climbed Breakneck Ridge and nobody died. If you’re ever in the lower Hudson Valley and feel like rock scrambling pretty much from the get-go, highly recommend. It was her first hike about a year and a half ago and she went in blind with a friend who told her it would be fine, and it was not fine. You need good traction sneakers for this one and the knowledge that you will be using all available limbs. We only almost died… once? Twice? There was a spot where there was a “Oh, can we actually find a way around?” And then I had to use a little bit of visualizing the geometry of the situation and say “Not that way, this way” and everything was fine.

Not why we’re here though. We’re here for what we wish could be Sunday Gravy but even if the hotel’s got a stove, we’re not pulling out/packing all the stops. So this…

I hate to say, did not involve making our own flour tortillas. It’s enough of a pain in the ass to do that for dumplings, which are smaller though more numerous. Or shredding our own cheese. But we were originally going to do a taco night the day before when she came over, but we also had had noodles from Xi’an Famous Foods and were still fairly full so we prepped the meat and constructed once at the hotel the next evening.

So why the double tortillas, Senor? Well, last time she came over, I made a stove top quesadilla which impressed, mainly because the key is low heat and continued flipping and it’s harder to do with an electric stove because Grandma Weaselo had electric stoves as long as I knew her (may she rest in peace, fuck cancer) and Grandpa Weaselo isn’t changing that one. Would I prefer a gas stove? Yes. Would Senorita Weaselo prefer a gas stove? Yes, because fun fact, you can’t get uniform heat with a wok with electric. Do I have power to change that? Ha, no, at least not currently at Apartment Weaselo.

But anyway, she asked if I could do that again. So I did, and then (fun fact, I think wrongly) realized a clever thing she wanted me to attempt, which was take the quesadilla, and then construct a taco on top of that.

In hindsight I think Senorita Weaselo might have just wanted to start with a quesadilla, but hey, she still had the quesadilla taco. Which, yes, I guess is just a fancier homemade chalupa, or quesarito, depending where you go, but also, it was really good and I’m definitely going to make it again.

On the other hand I realized I forgot to take something out of the freezer for tonight and I’m currently at work. Listen, I fluctuate in my culinary competence, as mentioned with my pepper spray seasoning (especially now that I’ve added Szechuan peppercorns for that extra numbing taste!) There are some things I can make really well, and then other times I do something impressively stupid. Oftentimes in the same meal!

Anyway, what’s for sportsin’ tonight?

NFL News
–Blake Bortles bows from ball-playing on best-known, uh, bodcast? Fuck.
-As does Cole Beasley.
-Kenny Pickett officially QB1 for the Steelers.

JV Footy: ‘MURICAN Conference Action!
Death Penalties vs. “1-time National Champs” (SMU vs. UCF), 7:00, ESPN2

MLB: Game 162s finishing up. Your drama?
-Batting title races (McNeil leads Freeman by .004; Arráez leads Judge by .004)
-Basement battle in the NL Central! (CIN 62-99, PIT 61-100, but PIT won season series 12-7)

Wild Card Series starts Friday (best of 3)
AL: Team Chaos (SEA, WC2) @ Canada’s Team (TOR, WC1), winner plays HOU
New-School Devil Magic (TB, WC3) @ Formerdacteds (CLE, D3), winner plays NYY

NL: Curse Battle! Ringworms (SD, WC2) @ Curse of Timmy Trumpet (NYM, WC1), winner plays LAD
Always Sunny (PHI, WC3) @ #BFIB Devil Magic (STL, D3), winner plays ATL

Lesser Footy
Welcome to Wrexham, 9:00 (FX)

Go ahead with the things!