Your Sunday Night NFL NFC Brawl Open Thread

The NFC East has certainly turned things around-they have the most wins of any division at this point. I don’t like either of these teams (natch) but it would be silly of me not to watch a matchup of this caliber.

To The Game!

Cowboys/Eagles:

-As you suspected, Dallas’ pass rush leads the league in pressures and is second in sacks. Though Parsons and Lawrence are the stars, nine different players have at least one sack.

-The Philly D is not exactly slouchy though-they have more takeaways than the Cowboys-11 to 7. One of the things they do well is taking wr’s out of the game. They are ranked #1 vs #1 guys (Jefferson was held to 48 yards) and are #2 against the 2’s.

-Philly’s o-line has been amazing at pass-blocking especially but they have four fellas banged up for this game. The one that is healthy, Lane Johnson, is facing off against DeMarcus and he hasn’t allowed a sack since week 11 of 2020.

-Is this the game where Rush has to manufacture more than 24 points? Because he hasn’t been able to/hasn’t had to yet. He’s a cool 5-0 both in his game record and ATS.

-Massive Improvement: Hurts has jumped his completion percentage from last year’s 61.3 (26th) to this year’s 67.9 (5th). Coaches attribute it to him having more patience letting routes develop and not rushing things. Of course there’s a price to be paid for this-he is far and away the qb that has been hit the most, having been touched up 84 times so far.

Enjoy what should be a good one.

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Doktor Zymm

Oh hey, got sunk into hating stuff and didn’t notice second Philly score! Woo for the moment

jjfozz

Everything you need to know about Philadelphia:
https://youtu.be/bWuXfIZiSqY

King Hippo

apologies for the HAWT TAEK but I am not sure Cooper Rush is the ideal “down two scores on the road” QB

jjfozz

I want Philly to go undefeated and then get their doors blown off in the playoffs.

Doktor Zymm

Let them get the NFC champs cause my gamblor please, after that don’t care

Spur

And why is Dallas letting Brown leak out with Parsons having to pick who to cover?

King Hippo

Starting to feel like an ass whipping is in order here.

Senor Weaselo

Hey Dok, how much is the Metaverse like the Persona Metaverse, and will I also get a cool thief suit?

/Ducks empty pill bottles

Spur

i want to see Dok’s VR rig.

Doktor Zymm

You don’t even have feet. It’s all shit. Just take drugs instead

King Hippo

but I could pretend to be on a multi-racial bike racing team!!!!

Gatoraids

Rob Ryan looks up the Rift return policy

litre_cola

This is going to swimmingly, I expect there to be a reason for Minshew mania in the 2nd half. Hurts goin to the Tua realm.

Recovery Whiskey

Minshew was a Coug. You have been warned

Last edited 2 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
litre_cola

So from just south of me! Neat.

King Hippo

An Iggle is a very predatory bird, so I feel like my cats would respect it. So GO BIRDS.

WCS

comment image
Hhmmmm…

ballsofsteelandfury

That exchange with Spur and Mr. Ayo about where Dok works needs to be on GTD’s post this week. That was perfect.

jjfozz

Mrs. Fozz bought me a surprise, and knowing that she was at a liquor store and has no concept of price, I figured it was gonna be a BIG one.

Well, it was the smallest bottle of Basil Hayden they make.

I mean, it won’t even help me get out of bed on a normal morning

Recovery Whiskey

It was the thought that counts though

Spur

Booing injured players a fine Philly tradition

Recovery Whiskey

The whole team goes over

Mr. Ayo

RUSHERCEPTION!

King Hippo

Motown Philly might really be back again

litre_cola

That was the bumper music, are you a witch?

King Hippo

not too hard, not too soft?

jjfozz

LOPEZ VS LOPEZ

THESE JOKES FUCKING WRITE THEMSELVES!

jjfozz

Conundrum.

I think Philly is a festering shithole with the most god awful asshole eating fans in the world.

The Cowboy organization, and their fans, are a festering sac of poison, pus filled maggots.

I don’t have access to a nuclear weapon.

King Hippo

TRY HARDER on that last point

Recovery Whiskey

Right?

Doktor Zymm

Philly is about a half hour north of you, the way things are now, their asshole is basically your asshole. That can bring you together, or pull you apart. When the other option is fucking Dallas? Buy them a Natty Boh and let them buy you a Yuengling in return

litre_cola

That was a very enjoyable drive. The screaming and crying of my exhausted 5 year old overshadowed most of it.
If you stick your fingers in a dog’s mouth, it will probably bite you.

King Hippo

Viva #NaturalConsequences

jjfozz

ICE UP SON!

Dunstan

I approve of the use of the Hooters as bumper music.

Doktor Zymm

Fly iggles!

Recovery Whiskey

Mike McCarthy with the smug assurance of a guy that knows he will likely outlive his owner.

Doktor Zymm

I have actually tried to stay in the light despite where I work, unsurprisingly this has not gone well. Full on coasting now and I would feel worse for my coworkers who still have hope but they’re getting paid way more than me so they can figure it out on their own

Recovery Whiskey
Recovery Whiskey

Brill Building alert

King Hippo

WOMP WOMP, that’s SO PERSONS

Mr. Ayo

The best part of eating at Jack in the Box is once you’re done, you’re only 1.39 away from two tacos as dessert.

litre_cola

Every time I am in your fair country I am sure to get stoned and gorge myself silly there. Followed by 8 hours of intestinal discomfort.

King Hippo

MOAR LIEK GainMINIMAL

Doktor Zymm

Or Gainadequateenoughtostillbeastarter

Doktor Zymm

No matter how many times I see him and see he is not, I am still convinved that Boston Scott is a terrier

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hell of a double play by the Guardians there.

Mr. Ayo

Lies. The baseball season ended yesterday.

Recovery Whiskey

Facts

King Hippo

I’d make a “Make Cancer Punt Against the Strong Objections of the Analytics Team” shirt

Doktor Zymm

Oh I Love that the ref is a Hussy!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Keeping my fingers crossed that she’s of the “shameless” variety.

Recovery Whiskey

Women are so critical and not supportive of women why is that

litre_cola

Because they all want a piece of Recovery Whiskey, that’s why.

Recovery Whiskey

Ms Whiskey does not subscribe

King Hippo

Does anybody else have the recurring dream of walking across a post-nuclear hellscape America, trying to find someplace tolerable to pause (and surrounded by freaks)? No, I do NOT want this dream analyzed. I had this for HOURS last night.

Spur

My last dream I replayed a majority of the movie, Pray of the Rollerboys.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe you just needed the toilet?
Edit: NAWT an analysis, but when I have dreams with any sort of trying to find a place that’s what it is

Last edited 2 years ago by Doktor Zymm
King Hippo

I mean, I’m old and always need the toilet. Sometimes 3x a night!

Recovery Whiskey

Look at you sleeping for hours like a privileged sleeper

Seriously it I stay unconscious for that long its a big win and whatever effed up dream is just a bonus

Last edited 2 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
WCS

Howdy.

King Hippo

Yinzers did a good, Clubhouse is happy for y’all. SavoUr this feeling.

WCS

Dreamboat losing the game, and losing his shit at his teammates should be cause enough to make peace in Ukraine.

King Hippo

My peace plan is to offer the Russians an extra 2-season run of Married With Children.

Recovery Whiskey

Ed O’Neil replacing Putin and everyone’s better off

King Hippo

Go to each oblast, say “No, Peg” and flush the terlet!

Last edited 2 years ago by King Hippo
Doktor Zymm

Putin’s stolen Owl ring somehow begs to differ

Recovery Whiskey

Wait , Dreamboat crashed into the dock? I must see footage

Spur

hey

King Hippo

I ate too much. 50/50 on whether my stomach decides on a reversal.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let’s get Lovie Smith to throw the challenge flag, should increase your chances considerably.

Recovery Whiskey

Letting Russ cook too much?

King Hippo

He’d probably cook healthier, and it’d stay down.

Recovery Whiskey

Hating Dem Boys versus hating the battery throwing city of brotherly love. A Sisyphean dilemma

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Oh, I only pretend to hate Dem boys. I actually quite like them.” – Lindsay G., South Carolina

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Recovery Whiskey

“Dem Boys can tap all they want I’m a fan” — Larry C, Boise

Spur

Philly thinks this is the Superb Owl. Weak

King Hippo

I think the lovely Ms. Stark must have lost a bet. Or just grabbed a coat from stadium lost and found.

Recovery Whiskey

Waves from the sunny smoky Pacific Northwest.

King Hippo

is y’all on fire again?

Recovery Whiskey

Wind shifted a little. Air quality up to “Geno Smith”

King Hippo

I blame Antifa obvs

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2013 Geno Smith or 2022 Geno Smith?

BeefReeferLives

Every time I step outside, I get a hankering for smoked brisket.

BeefReeferLives

So you could say the smoke brings out my inner Andy Reid.

Gumbygirl

My phone is dying, and I have to charge it in the bathroom, because I have a very short cord. Could I buy a longer cord? Yes! Have I bought a longer cord? No!
Anyway, see ya later.

Recovery Whiskey

On the other hand you’re in the bathroom. Time to look for expired prescription medicine

ballsofsteelandfury

Apropos of nothing, today is National Ass Day. If you doubt me, Google it.

Mr. Ayo

To the surprise of exactly zero of us, Balls wants us to google “ass”

Dunstan

Well how else can we get to the bottom of this question?

BeefReeferLives
Dunstan

Who is more excited:

Andy Reid watching a commercial for Arby’s, or
Rex Ryan watching the Uber Eats commercial where Sarah Silverman talks about selling pictures of her feet?

Doktor Zymm

Unrelated, but holy shit I hate the company I work for

Mr. Ayo

Why do you hate legs?

Spur

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

You do work for a very hateable company though.

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Spur

Comcast, Exxon, Modesto?

Mr. Ayo

Worse

Spur

NRA, RNC, Disney?

Mr. Ayo

Deeper…

Spur

Blackstone, Walmart, Koch

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[REDACTED], whose company has been blamed for enabling genocide in Myanmar because it did not bother to hire moderators who speak Burmese, for example, added that one of his life’s biggest regrets is competing on the fencing team in high school rather than wrestling.

Doktor Zymm

Oh, that’s been amended cuz CURRENT SHITTY PRODUCT OFFERINGS

Doktor Zymm

Seriously though, after an announcement that fuck everybody, he was all like “ooh, I did virtual fencing with a fencing champeen!”

Mr. Ayo

Still not there…

Spur

Fucking Facebook?

Mr. Ayo

HAHAHA

Spur

Shocked Dok, hasn’t stolen all our emails yet and setup Meta accounts on our behalf.

Mr. Ayo

Regret to inform just because you don’t know, doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.

Doktor Zymm

Fuck that, it might be HELPING

Doktor Zymm

Don’t all of those provide something that is arguably of value to society?

Recovery Whiskey

Two of these are clients of mine

Recovery Whiskey

You and me both

King Hippo

hey, evil pays

Recovery Whiskey

Evil pays if you’re able to keep blowing off the details

Spur
King Hippo

Kick the Persons until it Hurts, Jalen

Spur

do the opposite!

King Hippo

fart in the elevator and blame Micah Parsons?

Mr. Ayo

Maria T has a nice outfit this evening.

Spur
Spur

Lets go Cowboy haters

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pig farmers?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Guys, guys, there’s no need to fight…” – Coach Reid

Spur

you just setup you’re own reply/joke

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, that makes up about 90% of both my online and in-person social interactions.

TheRevanchist

I won’t blame the refs for the results of that game, but THE MEDIA was against us the whole time!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Doktor Zymm

Word is Dak will nawt be in, so happy for the Iggles D to wreak havoc and anything else what can be wreaked!

Senor Weaselo

Obviously as a New York person both these teams can eat it, but the girl singing the anthem I performed with/against at the Garden one time, so she’s cool.

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