Did you have a productive day? I didn’t. (aside from a walk, which totally counts, by the way) But that’s neither here nor there, I wonder why I even brought it up.
Narrator: “He brought it up because he’s trying to get to the 250 word minimum.”
To The Game!
Steelers/Fins:
-Renowned Shit Disturber* Brian Flores is back in town in Miami, doing the coachspeak thing like saying, “I’ve moved on”, and “I’m focused on winning”. (there is a civil suit still going, right?)
*according to the suits at NFL Headquarters
-A groggy and totally dazed Tua WHO IS COMPLETELY FINE, BY THE WAY will be trotted out this evening. Will he die? Probably not.
-Sticky Pickett: Despite Truth Biscuit coming in and saving the day last week, the young rook qb will get the start.
-Points are hard to come by in Pittsburgh these days-Najee is struggling as undrafted Jaylen Warren gains ground and the O is generating an average of 16.2 points per game.
-That’s not good given that the D is surrendering 20 per tilt.
-The Steelers are finding out the hard way that it’s not a good year to be playing the AFC East. They’ve lost winnable games against the Pats and the Jets and had their doors blown off by the Bills. Will it be a clean sweep?
-That Pitt D does have some pieces coming back but still no T.J. Watt. Still, they were able to generate enough of a pass rush to get Brady flustered.
-If the Fins get the W they will be 9-1 in their last 10 home games. You don’t usually think of their stadium as a tough place to play.
Type away.
I wonder what it would be like to vote for someone I liked and fully agreed with and won an election
(she said after seeing a Gavin commercial and listening to the gubernatorial debate on the radio earlier, super annoyed Gav is the lesser of 2 evils)
Don’t they celebrate in South Florida most nights, regardless of the sports results?
Pickett deFences
I want to get his nickname to be Wilson Pickett State Teachers College
Welp, that sucked.
More like PICKit
When you are not good at catching, you can at least play defense
Dolphins: Sea mammal or land fish?
Sea mammal
More like PICKett
This second half has been pretty much unwatchable.
At some point, the Stiller are going to have to officially apologize to the country of Canada for Matt Canada besmirching it’s good name.
Cris Collingsworth looks like the last guy at the bar that you would want to have a conversation with.
Not sure about looks, definitely sounds.
And he would keep trying to talk to you, even though you’re clearly reading a book or watching the game or looking in the other direction or telling him to stop talking to you
Until he traps you coming back from the bathroom.
The Reverse HARF
You look like your reading that book hoored.
He’d get right in your face. Swaying and slurring, he’d slosh his drink on your shoes, and start every one of his hateful and stupid opinions with “of course there’s no question, blahblahblaaaaaah….”
Let’s be honest…
/ sloshes drink
Wow, Collinsworth is wasted. More than usual I mean.
So… as someone with a somewhat basic understanding of MLB teams,
Who is more hateable? Astros or Yankees?
Yes
The Astericks.
Yanks blow too, but they don’t cheat.
I’m sure they cheat plenty, just not as blatantly.
Yanks= Devil you know
Astros= Cheaters who cheat and still lose, which somehow makes it worse
Astros
Astros.
I wonder what the gal who wrote the cunt punt letter is up to nowadays?
If I had to guess I’d say 168.
Once every quarter I think about her. She’s probably married to some Hedge funds douche
I had to look it up but I remember that now. She was a boss, that girl! Hilarious!
And by boss, of course I mean insane .
Give me a reason to post one of my favorite videos why dontcha?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dngOH9G4UPw
Anyone else feel a little uneasy watching Tua play?
Especially on shit like that.
Definitely cringed when he dove head first there.
For sure
Yes.
But it is the reason I’m watching.
Theory: The rest of the NFL owners keep Snyder around because he makes them look less evil by comparison
How does a theory become a law? Because that needs to happen in this case.
Heritage Foundation
Holy shit is this an aesthetically pleasing uniform game.
The Dolphins need to switch back to these unis STAT.
Makes me want to slap the individual that made their logo the leaping teal penis.
Yeah, these are classic.
Dolphins fans keep saying this. But teal dildos are just too overpowering or something
Know your audience.
Booooo9
I love Scottish people too!
https://twitter.com/CyrusMMcQueen/status/1584245374218539010?s=20&t=CG5AgRkFTTyfmBlrFAQ1vQ
I’ll be in LA during wild card weekend, and it would be super fun to have a DFO playoff game outing, but I’m kinda thinking there will be no playoff games hosted in payday loan stadium this year
Let’s make it so. I know somebody who cooks!
Dungy and Garrett have to be the worstest half time show evar
Rodgers is basically a meth vampire that lives under bridges with the trolls because the other vampires like Tony Dungy won’t let him sleep in the castle because he ruins the coffin linings with his hair grease
Wtf is with his eye in the post game interview
Thrush
There are basically no humans alive, apart from him that I wouldn’t do hallucinogens with.
That seems like eminently sensible policy
Ok, so that’s a no on prop 31
“My mom says you should vote yes.” – Eli Manning
“I would be willing to discuss it with your mom, in private”
– B. Belichick
Artistic Interpretation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADHXahsxIGM
Half of the time has expired along with roughly half my bottle of wine! Pacing!
and Tua’s spinal fluid!
And Coach Reid’s favorite restaurant’s supply of barbecue sauce!
There is a Steelers bar on Sheffield st in Chicago. That probaby does not make the people in the bar appreciate that catch
I think The Good Mrs. Reefer is already pretty sick and tired of me saying “Aww c’mon Kenny” in a Cartmanesque voice.
Sorry m’love. It’s going to be a long season….
Wait, THERE is the cock for Cris’ lips. THE BEN, harf!!
So grey!
I am not nearly high enough for this nonsense.
Seems like you aren’t trying hard enough.
I am working on it. I think I have some gummies. They gross me out if they’re weedy, but I’ll put on my( way too) big girl underoos!
Try looking for solventless hash gummies, those shouldn’t taste too weedy and seem to not give headaches to people.
Are those the live resin ones?
You are truly dedicated to your craft.
#MeToo, but #FifthPill is rarely a good idea.
How about #firstbeer after #threeglassesofwine?
might taste a little weird, so just drink it fast-like
Beer is just low alcohol malt wine
ppl forget that
How many pairs of gloves y’all reckon Uncle Jack is wearing? Gotta be 3-4, minimum, yeah?
Aw, so adorabley terrifying!
Just tuning into this game. Is Tua hurt yet?
Maybe emotionally
I think that roomful of monkeys with typewriters has given up on Shakespeare and turned to the much more lucrative career of naming prescription drugs
Guys it was a soccer dive. Not called.
There’s some kind of event going on nearby and we seem to be positioned perfectly for their shitty DJ to come through loud and clear.
Annoying. I’ve been drowning out my noisy neighbors with rain sounds, but you would probably need a hurricane recording to block out a DJ
They’re like half a block away. It’s some acoustical quirk that is making them so loud here.
One thing a friend of mine used to do that was very effective with noisy (music-playing) neighbors was to find the same music, they play it loudly half a beat off from the original.
Are there really people watching La Brea? Like real life people?
Like standing around staring at the tar pits?
I’ve spent more time standing around staring at the tar pits than I have spent watching La Brea. They’re actually kind of neat – they bubble!
Seriously, especially since they could be watching Quantum Leap!
THIS SHOW LA BREA I CALL IT THE LA BREA TAR PITS BECAUSE IT SUCKS.
Alternately
THIS SHOW LA BREA I CALL IT THE LA BREA TAR PITS BECAUSE IT STINKS.
Tua goes in headfirst. Dumbass.
The brain doctors the NFL hired from Hollywood Upstairs Medical School told him that if he hits the front of his head instead of the back it’ll knock his brain back into the best spot
“I actually encourage that approach.” – Tua’s girlfriend
I refuse to do any work, but I might need to break out a book for this’un. Yeesh.
Cris right now:
My sister died Thursday night after a gruesome three year battle with the most horrible cancer anyone could get. It was in her colon and rectum and she could barely eat. Yet if you spoke with her on the phone you’d never know anything was wrong.
The treatment just devastated her but she was so tough. I drove to the hospice in Phoenix and we were all with her. She looked like a corpse, and each day she looked worse. But I held her hand and let her know I was there. When she finally died it was merciful.
So for all you out there who think cancer jokes are funny this should be a gold mine.
I drove out there and back without any pain meds because I didn’t feel like dying at 100mph in the Sonoran Desert, and wow my leg still hurts. But that’s okay, I can take it. But I was on crutches now with a boot on and I can move around pretty nimbly, a mere nine weeks after surgery. Eventually I won’t even need crutches.
I’m a very good natured guy, and I can tolerate a lot of stuff. And I prefer to be happy, and to make other people happy, I truly do. Last night somebody called me “one foot” and not in a nice way – I’m assuming they were drunk so I’ll let it slide, this time. Next time, in honor of my sister, I’m going to find you and stick my left leg into your rectum and push it through your colon and keep going until your eyeballs fucking pop.
That is all. You may proceed in life now. Thank you.
That sucks, man. I’m glad you were able to be with her as she passed. I’m sorry about your loss.
That’s rough, I’m glad you were able to spend quality time with her and sending virtual hugs
I’m so sorry. Cancer is an evil motherfucker.
Sorry to hear this Brick.
Fuck cancer
Cris is much quieter, since there’s no “pre-determined cock to suck” on either side.
tough day for his gag reflex seeing Brady and Rodgers having a bad day
He will be thrilled to see the Steelers lose.
Every 19-1 team could have wiped the floor with the 72 Dolphins.
OY, the 1972 shit. FINE, I am cheering for the goddamned YINZERS
The Trent Green Bowl is about to kickoff!
I say we dress them in the opposing uniform, see if either notices.
J-E-S-T can’t win without losing:
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/34864264/jets-breece-hall-ruled-vs-broncos-knee-injury
So turns out NFL+ doesn’t actually work on my phone, only on the Android emulator on my computer. I’ve been trying to get a fix or a refund from support, but that’s been a no go, so now I’m just going to file repeated tickets to drive up their operating expenses until I feel I have cost them more than the subscription fee
Channelling my inner Brocky
I’m losing in FF by 0.3 of a point in one league and winning by .8 in my money league. I’m so gonna get fucked by mid week stat adjustments as all players have played
I could theoretically win one or both of my matchups, despite scoring less than 80 points. Depends mostly on what happens tonight, though I’ve already forgotten the details.
I’m winning by 12 or so but he’s got three players left to my one. All children, I’m hoping, since my one remaining player is Tyreek Hill.
A whole lot of morbid curiosity for Tua’s fencing practice!
PUT THAT EPEE AWAY
THIS DOKTOR gets it!
TV Announcer: “Andy Reid, boy, who’s done it better than him?”
Garret Reid:
Hey!!
I want my two dollars
In reference to RTD’s comment in the earlier thread, I need all the juicy gossip everyone had on the Michelle Beadle – Erin Andrews feud.
Specially considering that for years Beadle’s husband (Joe Buck) worked with Andrews on the Fox broadcasts…
Wait, Beadle married Joe Buck!? I had no idea.
You can read the oral (giggle) history of ESPN, which touches on it. Beadle made some comments that implied that Andrews really wasn’t all that upset about the key hole incident and that she used it to further her career. At a minimum it’s pretty clear that Beadle didn’t like Andrews, like at all.
Apparently, I’m getting my blonde Michelles mixed up…
well, well, well
you NEVAR can tell…
Turns out it was BEISNER that married Buck, not Beadle.
I read into it. Apparently, Erin spread gossip that Beadle had banged Clay Matthews….
Michelle Beadle:
Michelle Beisner-Buck:
These people are so unlikeable. Look at our fuck trophies, LOOK AT THEM
I vastly prefer Ms. Stark, and am glad her career got back on track.
Pffft. Losers. Check out MY fuck trophy!
That’s a cool ass lamp!
It is! My mother in law got it at a yard sale years ago. It has a broken support for the top shade that I really need to get fixed someday, it sits at a slightly wonky angle. The trophy is one of my son’s tae kwando trophies.
For a bachelor party many years ago I had a trophy printed up for the groom that read “WORLD’S GREATEST LOVER 2005”. Then we took him to a strip club and gave the girls Sharpies to write on him with.
I feel like Michelle Beadle would not have been insulted to have that “rumor” spread about her.
The thing I respect about Beadle is that she hasn’t backed off or tried to be PC about it. She flat out doesn’t like Erin Andrews and doesn’t care who knows it.
“You can’t spell ‘Erin Andrews’ without C-*-*-T.” – Michelle Beadle
“I’ll have to take your word for that.” – Lea Michele
For some reason, the Steelers are shit on Sunday nights. Adjust your bets accordingly.
As a lifelong Bengals fan, I must stress the Steelers exist partially to kill your dreams and make you cry. Factor that into all decisions.