By now you must be fully awake. The coffee has kicked in and now it’s time for other stimulants. By that I mean more football-don’t put words in my mouth-hole.
To The Games!
Panthers/Falcons:
2-5 Carolina can tie for the division lead with a win. And I thought the NFC East was bad last year! (Narrator: “It was.”) No one gives a rat’s tiny dong about this one except the participants.
Bears/Cowboys:
Not many are giving Fields and Stream much of a chance but the same thing was said last week vs the Pats and that one turned out okay. Maybe Eberflus has something going on.
Fins/Lions:
Usually a game between these teams wouldn’t arise any interest in the likes of me but I think this might be a shootout sort of thingy. And if that’s the case it would be great if Campbell can finally close a game out with the highest score.
Cards/Vikes:
Kliff’s Karousel of Near Kompetence really, really appreciates D-Hop. Arizonny is 5-9 when he’s not on the field and 9-2 when he’s operational.
Raiders/Saints:
Vegas is only 1 1/2 games out of a wild card spot but you’d think that distance will increase as the weeks bleed out. Jacobs is on a nice run of three straight 140+ yard games rushing.
Pats/Jets:
Bill tries again to pass Halas to get to second in wins. It’s odd to type this but it should be tough going on the road vs a Jets team that has bought into whatever Saleh is selling.
Steelers/Eagles:
Hoo Boy! An undefeated team coming off a bye, playing at home against a team that has lost 5 of 6 and is starting a rookie qb? You don’t have to be Albert Eisenstein to figure out the solution to this formula.
Hit that typing interface. HARD!
https://twitter.com/DrawPlayDave/status/1586802696107225088
Hey Litre, have you ever been to The King of Floors in Surrey?
I’m surprised teams have their punters travel to Detroit
Zach Wilson has thrown his third interception of the day. He’s about ready to run home crying to (a) mommy.
There should be a Manningcast for the #2 Tennessee/#1 Georgia game next Saturday and their first guest should be Hershel Walker.*
*I love slow-motion train wrecks, ppl forget that
If it turns into an abortion of a game, will Hershel pay for it, then deny it?
/waiting to see if that Sanders TD doubles my chances of winning to 2%.
2%, baby! I’m on my way back!
Nice to see a Vikings #4 who can excite the lady fans with size.
My word, Zachary Wilson’s magic underwear must be pretty brown by now. It seems he’s in need of a new brain as well — perhaps Trent Green might be willing to donate his?
Hey Litre, have you ever been to The Waddling Dog resto?
/I’m getting British Columbia ads during the Iggles game
Trevon Diggs in two plays:
1). Almost makes an incredible one-handed interception after playing off and luring Fields into a bad throw.
2). Plays way off the receiver and gives up 12 yards on 3rd and 8.
Diggs, like Nigeria, is a land of contrasts.
Ha! I was just about to type, “Pickett doesn’t look that bad” just as he fumbled.
Bubba Dalton gots him Jet-Ski!
This is just Richie Incognito dressing up as Kenny Powers for Halloween, and you’ll never convince me otherwise.
Ok, Travis Kelce has a stupidly expensive designer bucket hat, Zuck has stupidly expensive designer T-shirts, don’t these people know that you don’t have to pay $$$ to look like a schlub??
I do it quite nicely on a Kohl’s budget.
I’m honestly shocked they haven’t pre-empted this game to something good. Even the Saints fans would probably rather watch something else.
Micah Parsons rubbing the Bears nose in the dirt (which they like, though) with an INT return.
Wans’t even an INT. It was a fumble and Fields jumped OVER Parsons while Parsons was down, with the ball mind you, thereby allowing Parsons to get up and run into the end zone.
Truly a masterpiece.
Underrated comment. Take my +1, you scallywag.
Justin Fields showing off his THE Ohio State University education right there.
One of the questions in the Fins game is: Will Tyreek get to 200 yards?
The Bears pass protection seems like more of a theory than a fact.
And then Fields actually completes a pass and somehow Micah Parsons just scored a TD while I typing this.
The Aristocrats!
The Bears still haven’t worked out the implications of the forward pass being legalized
Buon pomeriggio!
Just checked into the Boys/Bears game (if that’s not the Buddy signal…)
How many points did Dallas spot Chicago before the games started?
Not nearly enough
I’m going to be surprisingly disappoint if the Jets lose
I presume whoever at CBS that made the call to broadcast the Raiders-Saints game is currently packing up their office.
Marquis De Sade
Two weeks in a row with 20+ Bears offense points? End times possibly nigh!
I’d like to borrow Maxwell’s silver hammer to bring to a discussion with Derek Carr about his suboptimal fantasy performance this week.
Use it on yourself; you were the one who was dumb enough to start him.
What is catch? What is fumble?
Folks.
Turd Ferguson scored for your guys.
I saw that. it was 28-7 when I took the dog for a walk. I seem to have missed a few things, but not as badly as the booth replay folks missed that fumble.
Can you possess the ball with your knees?
Brocky new profile pic.
…… I’m debating it…
cleaned it up a bit for ya
Highest paid defense in the NFL!
#GahnTaDahSupaBowl
Are Josh Jacobs’s 35 yds the entirety of the Raiders offense?
yes
If the Falcons win their division I will be both amused and wealthier
Two steps closer to some of the renovations on the volcano lair.
I’m thinking of putting some swan boats in the main magma chamber, but it’s hard to source the asbestos nowadays
Blocking a kick with your head has gotta hurt
Better that than the butt punt block.
To make Andy dalton look like a cartoon character is pretty easy because he is naturally already three-quarters of the way there.
Let’s see what you can do with Brocky’s picture now.
It’s a grand old flag
Dad: you want me to DVR the game?
Me: nah I’m good
Dad: you’re really going to be at the wedding all day?
Me: there’s an open bar, no kids, there’s no church involved, and since these folks are nuts about Halloween they’re letting us wear costueme. I’ll be fine
Clock strikes midnight for PJ Harvey’s late-career resurgence
Hey, first punt in the Fins/Lions game. Just kidding, the Lions faked it and got a 1st down.
BEARS PICK
(actual Bears fans may be significantly larger than they appear in GIF)
There’s a joke to be made somewhere about knowing her way around Polish sausages, I just know it.
WILL LUTZ: [misses easy field goal]
KEVIN HARLAN: The Raiders defense holds! [turns to fellow announcer, covers microphone] I feel like I’m calling one of those Make-A-Wish touchdown runs.
Bullshit! Pats still getting bailout calls even without Dreamboat
Gisele was awarded custody of the refs in the divorce and returned them to the Pats
#oldhabits
The Legendary Bailout of White Mac!
Pickett trying for the second concussion
Three, and he gets a free sub!
(with purchase of large drink but STILL)
Excuse me, back injury.
Curse my MANDATORY rule, I would love a nap.
Rum Ham is gonna put poor Fronk in the nuthouse!
Is it really taunting if it’s true?
Truth should be an absolute defense.
#DokForCommish
My win probability in money league is 1%.
Truly Horrifying
-The Bear from Annihilation on the Chicago bears
Does anyone still have a George Foreman grill,
Heck yeah!
I have one in the cupboard that I used once. Which is too bad because it actually worked pretty good.
AJ Brown on a heater today!
Stupid, sexy AJ Brown!
I know I am against him, just refuse to check
Yeah, smart. Good news is if he taunts the inept defense again he’ll be ejected!
https://twitter.com/Ben_Jones88/status/1586782261751566343
That steer roping celebration was great.