The Dream of Colonial Revenge: MAR v. FRA Slave LaboUr Cup Semi

You know how it is. Some foreigners come to your backyard like they own the place and steamroll over everything: freedom, language, culture, livelihoods… On the other hand [cleans and places monocle] the very ingratitude. This used to be a handful of huts populated by barefoot and unwashed masses. You have Whitey to thank for this shithole country using shampoo on the regular and other whiffs of civility.

So there may have been a lil’ friction between today’s nations. To the Wiki P!

In 1956 Morocco gained its independence from France and Spain. In the World Cup, Morocco eliminated Spain in the Round of 16 and dispatched the rest of the Iberian Peninsula* in the Quarterfinals.

Now it’s France’s turn.

* Don’t @ndorr@ at me, k?

France is the current World Champion. At this World Cup, it has been the best team in the tournament. Or no worse than the second, with the first being the Argentina version that destroyed Croatia yesterday. Per reports, the Alternate Reality 2022 Semifinal between Brasil and Argentina was monumental. But no. In this world, Croatia outlasted Brasil because plodding, tough teams (physically and mentally), always have a chance in international fútbol.

International fútbol is full of maddening and dull champions: that substitute Denmark team, Paraguay has won twice, Greece… All champions, but continental tournament champions.

Obligatory:

Via youtube

The World Cup, no. Mundial champions are the usual giants. Plus that one time the Yo-Yo Spaniards left a trail of tWBSs in the 2010 South Africa knockouts. So there. Morocco will never have that Spain team’s time of possession, but they have been shutdown on D.

In this World Cup, Morocco has allowed only one goal: an autogol in the game against Canada. The rest are clean sheets against Croatia (good), Belgium (2-0!), Spain (very good), and Portugal (GTFO!). And Morocco has a stud at goalkeeper for penalties, if it comes to that. Bono, the only Bono in my bubble, is a badass on the pitch and a true mensch.

My apologies to the Canadian contingent for the Bono love.

Morocco is riding a giant wave of support: first African nation in a Mundial semifinal. And the first Arab nation semifinalist AND the only Arab nation left in the Arab World Cup. Should be noted: the huge number of Palestinian flags that have been flown around World Cupp proceedings, including games. (That should bring solace to folks who turned away from this Mundial on moral grounds, but also hurt when there is injustice anywhere.) So this World Cup has consolidated solidarity among Arab nations, but Morocco ensured that support should start from home. Moroccan players were allowed to bring family members with them and most brought their moms. Say what you will about Pan-Arab solidarity: Morocco’s triumphant run exemplifies the power of nagging. I want Morocco to win it all.

As to France, yeesh. They stacked. They have been a wonder to watch. Antoine Griezmann is playing like he was 24 again and Olivier Giroud is in top form. And Mbappé, and Dembele, and Varane… Woof. Another advantage for Morocco is their world-class right back, Achraf Hakimi, is Mbappé’s teammate at PSG. I trust Maroc to have a Patriots-style debriefing team for the game.

Predicción: I will be watching intently, and should’ve bought more tahini for the hummus Imma attempt right now.

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Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
WCS

Hope he gets the help he needs.

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
SonOfSpam
Sharkbait

Remember when TLC stood for The Learning Channel?

Horatio Cornblower

“No”-Lea Michele

scotchnaut

Well, the channel certainly taught me that everything half-decent turns to shit eventually. Sooo, Mission Accomplished?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Sigh.” – Olivia Manning, adding it to the parental controls list

BugEyedBoo

Bet you a beer that the guys are the women’s sons.

blaxabbath

With a recession coming down in full force, I’m glad to be competing with people who spend their time watching MILF Manor on TLC.

Doktor Zymm

We’re going through the Miraflores locks right now, you should be able to see my ship on the webcam
https://multimedia.panama-canal.com/Webcams/miraflores.html

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cool! I see someone on the upper deck who isn’t wearing pants. That’s you, right?

Horatio Cornblower

I’m waving now!

Gumbygirl

Me too!

scotchnaut

How dare you try to seduce me with your flowing locks! I’m partially happily married!

Col. Duke LaCross

The French have had some close shaves in their box. Traditionally this has not been the case.

Horatio Cornblower

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE GUYS THE FRENCH TEAM I CALL THEM SIMON BAR SINISTER BECAUSE THEY KILL UNDERDOGS.

BugEyedBoo

Those dirty bastards!

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GAME I CALL IT EL-MOUNGAR, BECAUSE THAT’S THE NAME OF THE FIRST FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION BATTLE IN OR NEAR MOROCCO I COULD FIND!!! SERIOUSLY I AM REACHING HERE ALMOST AS BADLY AS AL DAVIS DID IN GIVING ME THAT INSANE CONTRACT!!!

blaxabbath

Anyone else read this in a Jamarcus Russell voice?

Horatio Cornblower

“Not me”

-Lea Michele

Sharkbait

C’est fini?

Horatio Cornblower

fin.

Sharkbait

Strange tactical decision for sure.

Horatio Cornblower

(frantically googling ‘French Foreign Legion battles’ for material)

scotchnaut

(that don’t reference white flags)

Horatio Cornblower

Mbappe’s fine, Jenny Taft.

Doktor Zymm

futball players are total drama queens

Horatio Cornblower

Would have loved it if she called him out when they went to her on the sidelines.

“If you look at the replay you’ll see him go down while staring right at the referee and screaming for a foul. Not getting the foul he’s gone to the standard move of writhing on the ground while holding an ankle. If he follows tradition we can expect 3-4 minutes of this, followed by some hobbling, followed by a magical return to full and unhindered sprinting within 5 minutes.”

Doktor Zymm

French players collapsing on the field like the Germans are invading, but somehow recovering without requiring the intervention of American forces

Horatio Cornblower

I nominate this for a banner, but it needs to be a white banner.

TheRevanchist

Just like pro wrestling!

Doktor Zymm

Who do I have to bribe to give Morocco credit for the bike kick shot? That was nifty so it should count despite the small detail of not actually going in.

In the Panama Canal at the moment, taking turns between watching the game and watching the canal operate. If the French lose, it will be fitting that I’ll watch the French fail from the middle of a titanic French failure!

Sharkbait

For some reason my Fox over the air signal is shit on a clear and sunny day. So I’m watching on Telemundo. No idea what is being said but It’s already better than Fox’s coverage.

Last edited 2 years ago by Sharkbait
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Brilliant work by the keeper just standing there letting a guy take a flier at a head-height ball. Not to take anything away from the French player, but you gotta go after that ball.

Sharkbait

Allez Les Bleus

Gumbygirl

I picked France to win it all, but here is Morocco Mole

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BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

‘course, nothing that someone who watched the “Rattlestar” episode didn’t already know…

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Last edited 2 years ago by BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl

Yes, but can the boy snakes find it?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It’s a myth, just like the idea that snakes can swim.” – Ben SSSSSSShaprio

Brick Meathook
Last edited 2 years ago by Brick Meathook
Horatio Cornblower

I agreed to a 2:00 pm deposition this afternoon on the well-founded theory that the other attorney never has her shit together and would cancel, and I could file a motion to have the case tossed. Well, guess who decided that today was the day to get her shit together?

Anyway, I’ll see you in the second half. Go Atlas Lions, or whatever.

Horatio Cornblower

Andorra is just happy to be mentioned in a World Cup semi-final preview, even if only mentioned that they don’t count.

SonOfSpam

I just wish she’d get her son-in-law’s name right. IT’S NOT DURWOOD.

Sharkbait

Normally for team Chaos, I’d be all for Morocco. But as a Spurs fan:

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

So as someone who doesn’t understand what’s going on, when is the world cup over?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When FIFA runs out of money to bribe people with.

2Pack

I’m with you Don T, I’d like to see Morroco go all the way.

Horatio Cornblower

The Moroccan embassy intervened, didn’t it?