And this time it actually means something significant and other teams in the league aren’t laughing and pointing like they did last year. Thank you NFC South, by the way.
To The Game!
Giants/Commies:
-The buzz was that Chase Young would finally get off his fat ass (he doesn’t read this blog, right?) and actually play but he had a sit-down with the Wise Old Owl that is Coach Rivera and has put his debut off yet again.
-Huh-Kirkie Cousins has also qb’ed the Commies biggest comeback win.
-The last time these fellas played (all of two weeks ago-Wash. had a bye last week so that’s two straight vs NY, which is silly) both qb’s were sacked multiple times. It’s safe to say that whichever team’s o-line plays better will have a distinct advantage.
-Heinicke is 5-1-1 since replacing Wentz. He’s been aided by the fact that injured players have been added back to the roster and also, he’s played the likes of the Bears, Texans, Colts and Falcons.
-Aw Crap-The Commies are 5-2 in prime time under Rivera and the Giants losing streak has now reached 11 games.
-The Commies need this badly because a.) the Lions are coming on strong and b.) they play the Niners, Browns and Cowboys down the stretch. The Giants have the Vikes, Colts and Eagles.
-Although the Giants have trouble stopping the run it’s not up-the-middle plays that break long. It’s actually outside zone, counter runs and tosses that do most of the damage.
-With the exception of the game against the Texans (everyone does well against Houston) Saquon hasn’t run for 100 yards since October 23rd and hasn’t even reached 65 yards since then.
Enjoy.
Las Vegas Raiders on Twitter: “Guess who was mic’d up? https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/1f440.svg #RaiderNation experienced The House of Thrills tonight!! https://t.co/JXqNobV06V” / Twitter
Bill Simmons on Twitter: “OH MY GOD WHYYYYYYYYY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” / Twitter
DFO collective to Bill Simmons’ soul dying:
37 Times The Janitor From “Scrubs” Expertly Trolled Everyone – YouTube
#RingerNFL on Twitter: “Why Patriots why? https://t.co/dEDSafkLbx” / Twitter
I guess we have to admit that what they say is true: no lead is safe when Tom Brady is playing.
Not bad for a fairly tough defense.
(two hours later) “Only one song on Youtube. You gotta be up at 6:00 tomorrow morning.”
(now) “Shit.”
So, look forward to stories of the Weaselos (okay, Senorita Weaselo, but me by extension) cat-sitting escapades!
Also there’s a Pokemon Gym juuust in range of this apartment (which her friend, who owns the cat, says we can stay at while she’s in Iowa meeting the parents), so I can keep that yellow, much to Brocky, Low Commander, and Dok’s chagrin.
Let’s run it back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHM3_wEjxZg
Colts: “We’re gonna win our game with the biggest comeback in NFL history in one half!”
Bengals: “We’re gonna win our game with the opponent just constantly giving the ball away for one half!”
Raiders: “A whole half? That’s cute.”
Another Victory for Daboll and the Future of Man
Dammit.
Remember, if these teams tie, for intents and purposes they went 1-1 against each other! But that’s no fun.
Oh Glorious Draw, visit upon us your bountiful feast yet again.
Remember everyone, if the Feds ever come for Brick, he was here the whole time.
Just blame all the crimes on tWBS
It sucks that there are other people here who may have passed but we have no way of knowing so we can properly pay them tribute.
Ok, but there’s a rule against dying now, right?
Anyone who died, raise your hands!
I’m only mostly dead!
The table us set for Tie #2: Sister Tongue
Daniel Jones Dumber and Dumber tribute haircut
The last [Redacteds] game I attended was at RFK Stadium against the NY Giants in 1995 right before I moved to California. I watched the first half at the old Hawk & Dove bar on Capitol Hill (not the same as the current one, and Capitol Hill was gloriously dingy back then). It was pouring rain and the [Redacteds} were losing, so at halftime I drove to RFK and parked right in front of it illegally. I didn’t get ticketed or towed because it was pouring rain and nobody cared anyway. I walked right into the main gate and nobody stopped me. I was wearing good foul weather gear so I stood in the rain right behind the Giants bench, I could have talked to head coach Dan Reeves.
Hey the “auto-Redacted” feature doesn’t work anymore
Per Google Hawai’i – English translator, Marcus Mariota = Daniel Jones.
More True Brick Stories™ from my upcoming memoirs:
Here’s a sign I stole single-handedly in the middle of the night from over the fence at CIA Headquarters in Langley. I was in high school and I was high as fuck. It was a 4×8′ plywood construction sign that read:
C.I.A. HEADQUARTERS
EXPANSION PROJECT
and beneath it was another 4×8′ sign that listed the contractors. I had to climb a tree, pry it off, and get it over the high concertina wire fence at the SW corner of the main CIA property. I had to then hide it in the bushes and go get my car which was parked a distance away. When I pulled up to get it, security arrived and asked what I was doing there (they didn’t see the sign). I made up the stupidest story about my registration blowing out the window while I was driving by (the nearest main road was 100 yards away) and the guards got out their flashlights (oh shit) and started looking for the registration. Another guard car showed up and he started looking for the registration. Then a Fairfax County policeman showed up (now I’m fucked) and they spoke through his window and he left. Meanwhile I’m standing in the same spot extremely stoned and too scared to shit my pants. Finally I said, “I guess I’ll go to the DMV tomorrow” and they all agreed that was a good idea and I drove away.
On the way home all I could think was that I didn’t believe all that really happened. Then, I turned the car around, went straight back there and threw that sign in the trunk and drove home. My mother was too terrified to throw it away so she hid it behind the garage where it held up mulch for years. It’s gone now.
That is some good chicanery
Gubmint property is meant to be stolen. They build that into their budget. You were just making sure none of the employees were misappropriating government funds. Hero!
Can confirm. I took a pen just the other day.
Ha! Suck it, Culinary Institute of America.
The Draw remains in play
Hell hath no fury like a Gnu Scorned
Picked up enough to miss a FG
I’m gonna finish this vieux carre I made myself and go to sleep. Go team not owned by Snyder.
In this dispute, I side with the guy who isn’t Collinsworth
Sensible.
HAIL BLEERGH
PRAISE SHANK’LOR
God damned the third act of scrooged is so great
Do they edit out the gay panic stuff these days? It’s so brief and out of place that you wonder why they even had it there in the first place.
Break out the Warsaw Pact the Commies is back in bidness!
Halfway through their 5 Quarter Plan
I could go for a Tab!
Ok, sleepy time for moi
https://youtu.be/R7JiDBi_v4c
Watching a Christmas classic and a scene reminded me of something
When I was a wee lad, I just could wrap my head around calling both of my grandfather’s “grandpa”, so I simply called my mom’s dad by his first name, he didn’t care for it.
When I was a kid I stole two flags from the Washington Monument in the middle of the night. I still have one and it’s here in my studio.
U.S. Flags had freely encircled the Monument for a century; two weeks after I stole them the Park Service put lock boxes on the flag poles, which are locked to this day.
*FBI Watch List Intensifies*
You sir, have truly changed the world!
Of course that took those clowns in Congress two weeks.
By “stole” I meant “liberated” like a good loyal American by gum
Dude actually got on Cardinal Talk and stated, “…Steve Keim is in alcohol rehab. Let’s just call it what it is. And i hope ge gets through it; I’ve had my sobriety all these years.
But is this really the guy who should be making draft picks?”
And the hosts just let him rant then moved right on like they’d heard nothing. I was amazed.
Look, Bidwell’s sexuality aside, it’s a fair question.
I figured there would at least be some kind of, “Well that is just speculation now; it could very well be the head injuries from his time playing football that has abruptly lead to Keim’s removal….”
The Good Hodgins!
Coming to you LIVE from DC to remind you Landover and therefore this game are nowhere near here.
Happy Chanukah, everyone!
I made a huge pot of 15 bean soup today. Soaked the beans overnight and I added all kinds of veggies, but it sucks. Maybe it will be better tomorrow, but I need to come up with a Plan B for dinner, because I’m not eating this. I am pissed off.
Keep putting vodka in it until the warming glow feeling arrives.
go with Reids playbook when in doubt add Ham…or order pizza or add ham to your pizza
Add bacon?
I lightly cooked the veggies in bacon fat. I have some of the bacon to crumble on top. The soup seems to finally have amalgamated and consolidated. I have cheddar biscuits, it should be ok.
I had a mediocre French onion soup last night at a restaurant and decided to make my own today to try to exceed it. Good thing I had a late lunch, because this is gonna take a while.
Worth it. That sounds good. I never think of onion soup, and I love it. I even have bowls you can put under the broiler.
at halftime, I think Brian Daboll’s fat should fight Ron Rivera’s cancer. WHO YA GOT??
Cancer can be aggressive, but is it enough to overcome fat’s plodding, clock eating drive?
Yeah, it’s America. I’mma bet on fat.
Ok, let’s see WAS score a pair of safetys now to keep the tie on track
Good field position for most glorious safety!
THIBODEAUXDOWN
This is just a yakety sax kinda day!
Jaxon DeVille sleeps in a storage room under the stadium, right?
He needs to make sure nobody goes digging around the crawlspace, so YES
Someone has to keep the tweakers from stripping the copper out of the stadium.
–
Well, there goes my Christmas present idea for RTD.
The most underrated aspect of that play is just how fucking sad that tackle attempt was.
They just showed the Patriots lowlight, OMG that is amazing! Belichick is gonna make his players sacrifice their firstborns for that
That play was funnier than anything Dave Chappelle has done in the past decade.
Oh hey, I can watch this game on ESPN Caribbean! I almost certainly won’t be staying awake for the whole thing, but still glad!
How fun would it be if they have to go ridiculously far down the list of tiebreakers to determine which of these two teams gets a playoff spot?
As long as it results in Danny Boy getting screwed.
I’m pissed off that Congress is dropping the ball on that
They should really do something.
I screwed up my other attempt to post this
What’s the nickname for ESPN Caribbean? The Yo-Ho-Ho and a Bottle of Rum?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
He’s Richie Jaaaaaaaames bitch!
Looks around clubhouse…
DDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Woohoo!
DFO needs to send LemonJello to the playoffs!
I’m waiting for the move to Mexico City, if only for Jaxson to perform a ritual sacrifice. YOU KNOW HE’LL DO IT. As would Gritty, for different reasons.
You’re my favorite fictional Jaguars fan! (Don’t tell Jason Mendoza!)
Can we hope for a second tie?
I’d light candles for it, if only WASPs did that.
That would be WASWs, where the second W is for Wiccan.
Rite they VERY MUCH DON’T COUNT by WASP code!
It’s what both teams deserve.
If so, they have to play again next week.
A 0-0 tie would be a thing of infinite beauty