Instant Hippo Boxing Day Thoughts – Week 16, 2022 Season/EPL Resumes

Holy cats, this sportsball 3-day weekend is fucking beautiful, ain’t it?

I watched all of yesterday’s NFL trifecta, despite…not really liking any outcomes.  Because my fantasy team may be leaving oil like a motherfucker…but 2nd place pays out pretty good.  Maybe I would use the funds to make it to DFOcon the Draftening?

Anyway, I led by 8 points coming into the day, we each had 1 player in all 3 games.

Showdown teh First – Christian Watson (me) v. Aaron Jones (commish)

I reminded myself (and Other Hippo) why I hate sportsball talking heads.  NO, this Miami loss was NOT on Coach McDaniel.  I thought he did a great job schematically, and mixing things up.  They dominated the first half, except for a big opening kickoff return.  But then scored ZERO points all second half, thanks to Tua shitting his pants.  All three pickerceptions were of the “even Charmslinger would say those reads were of WTF varietal.”  Watson was having a great afternoon, but a hip owie ended his day at the half.  No matter to Q-aron, who made sure those turnovers were indeed fatal.  26-20, the Packers Narrative just won’t die.  UGH.

(But Hippo +4 in the selfish realm)

Showdown teh Two – Charmslinger (me) v. Donks D/ST (commish)

I dropped my kid at my mother’s house around 4:25, and by the time I drove home it was 10-zip GB.  By the time I got the TV on, it was moments away from 17-nil, and I saw that Charmslinger had thrown pickerceptions on TWO CONSECUTIVE PLAYS.  Jeebus wept.  “Fortunately” for me, Denver surrendered points to RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! on every single LA drive but the last.  Which was ONE PLAY, 6 seconds on a kneeldown.  9 for 9, though – since they got a Rypien Pick Six on one of our very sad possessions.  Hey, at least Failson Hackett left Wilson in until he got a pity TD drive, which saved my stupid arse.  51-14, though.  To a fellow 4-10 squadron.  Peoples is getting fired, maybe as soon as the morrow.

(Hippo +13, thanks to point and yardage deductions in our defensive scoring model)

Showdown teh Fin – MRSA running back pick ’em (me) v. Cade Otton (commish)

I absolutely, positively KNEW that I would the MRSA running back decision wrrong.  So sure that I considered starting both, but I had too much of a Watson feeling.  Should have flipped a coin, but I left my initial read (Horny Fourny) in the lineup.  Our horny chum caught several dumpoffs, as that is all MRSA Dreamboat can really do.  Otton got a first half 0, which encouraged me to falls asleep with the score knotted at 6.  We all gots our limits!

(Hippo +/-?? not a good performance in the abstract – but good enough for this derp-off)

Whew.  At least we can haz ALL TEH LESSER FOOTY today!

Brentford hosting Spurs (and their many WC participants) is worth waking up to see (7:30, USA).  I have a few concerns about Beesus having some rust to shake off.  But their home support is a huge advantage, and I hope that it pays off.  Still can’t get a read on Conte’s Crew.

Foxy(ish) Footy gets the Bonesaws in the “lead” 10:00 window fixture (USA).  I mean, I will leave it on in the background.  But I highly recommend streaming, as I have to (Wolves traveling to Goodison to kick my Toffees in the bollocks).  Neutrals will likely enjoy Palace and Mighty Whitey (wave to HippoSpawn and her boo!) or Saints/Brighton.

Of course they give the prime slot to Villa hosting the Redshite (12:30, USA).  Probably scheduled when they thought Slippy G would still be in charge of the Midlands twats.  Oopsie doodle.

So, after one’s nap, do log on for the King’s Afrikan Water Pistols, home to Fronk’s Hammers (3:00, Peacock).  David Moyes’ bunch REALLY need some momentum, and I worry that the Gooners might start sluggishly.  Very much a group that didn’t benefit from a 6-week interruption, since they were kicking fools’ teeth in.  Fascinating matchup, I think.

USA also has a doubleheader on Tuesday, and a singleton on Wednesday.  It will be good to have Rebecc-ur and the boys back in our lives.  Work can continue fucking right off, ya know?

Also!

New Mexico State (+3) v. Bowling Green (Oil Change Chain Nobody Has Heard Of Bowl – 2:30, ESPN)

Remember that guy who had an on-field seizure coaching Minnesota (the JV one) like 7 years back?  Well, he took the NM State job, and did a Southwestern version of UConn’s 2022 “cromulent season that absolutely NOBODY saw coming” act.  If I were still actively hailing GAMBLOR, I’d bet the fuck out of this moneyline.  Keep this muted on the TV while Arsenal streams with sound.  Best.  Monday.  EVAR?