TGIF! So long 2022! While many good things happened this year, many bad things did too. This year was really a land of contrasts! Anyway, there are New Year Eve’s parties to attend!

Survival – Personal Edition

One of things you can do is take care of your breath. (First shower and put on some pants, unless the party is a no-pants zone) Try these suggestions to fix that nasty face melting smell coming from your mouth.

• Standard mints and gums. Load up on them and carry them with you. Now here’s the trick with gum. Just chew for a few minutes then spit it out. The point of the gum is to get your saliva flowing which masks those stank odors, so you don’t need to chomp on that thing forever. You’ll get at least an hour’s effect from the gum. In that intervening hour freshen up with a mint or two.
• Find some common garnishes to chew on. Look for parsley and fresh mint leaves to chew on. If your post party has a bartender, order a gin martini. Tip good, then ask for a cinnamon stick. Chew on that sucker too.
• Eat a salad. Roughage helps clean the tongue which causes most of your undesirable stink.
• A few other foods that can help: Aniseed, cloves, egg shells (yes, really), lemons, or oranges.

Look, you probably don’t want to do all of these at the same time. Instead, find which ones work for you and for how long. You can then plan a regimen to keep your pinhole fresh for at least one evening.

Now then, if you want to enjoy the party and not worry too much about your breath, you can always prepare by preventing bad breath. Try these handy tips and see how they work for you!

• Floss. Gum disease kills folks. It also makes your breath proper nasty. Now this isn’t your dentist-grade flossing. For this exercise, you need unscented dental floss. Floss one area, then smell the dental floss. Replace the floss and repeat the other areas. You want to identify the worst smelling parts. That’s where you need to floss more. Or you’ve identified where your gum disease is and you should have that looked at by a professional.
• Clean your tongue. Get a tongue cleaner and clean the back of your tongue. Yes, you’ll need to suppress your gag reflex if it’s still intact. Don’t scrape the top of your tongue, that’s your taste buds and it’s not what’s stinks around here.
• Mouthwash. Duh you say, but there’s two ways to use that one dose of mouthwash. Measure out that cupful after brushing your teeth. Then, dip your toothbrush in there and brush your teeth again. When finished, then gargle with the remaining mouthwash. Your mouth will fill alive after this minty attention.

Alright, that’s all I’ve got. If all else fails, drink a bunch of liquor. It may stink, but it’s a familiar stink that no one will mind.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!