Your “The Playoffs are Coming!” Thursday Night Open Thread

I’m ready.

Footballing Stuff:

-Derek Carr confirming what everyone in the land knew already, said his goodbyes to Vegas and the dregs of people therein. Asked what he’d be doing in the near future he replied, “Siouxsie, Peter Murphy, Nick Cave and I are getting the band back together. We’re going to hang out and practice for our gig at Gothchella.”

-Tua has been ruled out this weekend as the Sugar Plum Fairies are still dancing in his head.

-Damar Hamlin is out of the hospital in Buffalo, his attending doctor stating that most of his humours are back in balance but black bile levels require further monitoring.

-Is Lamar done for? He’s missed 17 straight practices with a sprained knee. Is there no dirt in Baltimore? That’s a Kadarius Toney-level of injury coasting.

-Every one of the games on Wild Card Weekend is a rematch of a game played earlier this season. The Giants are being given a 6.9% (oh, c’mon on!) chance of making it to the NFC Championship game.

-Looks like the Panthers are scouring heaven, earth and even Detroit, looking for a new head coach. Among the interviewees are Jim Caldwell, Ken Dorsey, Ben Johnson, (poet, sprinter and Lions OC) Mike Kafka, (moody and confusing Giants OC) Jerod Mayo, (maligned condiment and Pats lb coach) Kellen Moore, Frank Reich, DeMeco Ryan (he seems to be on everyone’s list) and Shane Steinchen. (Eagles OC) That’s a lot of, “What’s your worst personality trait?” questions.

-Al Michaels, professional boozer, vegetable snubber and gambler will be calling the Chargers/Jags tilt for NBC after leaving them for that Amazon thingy. Apparently it’s a one shot gig which Al is not very familiar with.

What are you up to this evening? I’ll be watching the inextirpable Ottawa Senators face off against the lowest forms of sentience dressed in Arizona Coyotes uniforms. Should be fun.

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Brick Meathook

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BugEyedBoo

Didn’t know Max von Sydow and Johnny Bench were in a movie together, go fig.

Gumbygirl

Wait…is Al doing that game with Collinsworth? Noooooooooooooooooooo!

Col. Duke LaCross

Nope. Antonio Dungerson.

Brocky

Good lord I never thought I’d say this but this Blackhawks goalie is making me miss corey Crawford

Mr. Ayo

I miss Cindy Crawford

King Hippo

Did she die from that thing on her face?

Dunstan

I’ll thank you not to refer to my semen that way.

And yes, after the penicillin, she was fine.

Brocky

Her daughter is also a model

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King Hippo

but ah thought Dunstan said he ain’t got no chill’uns?

Brocky

Nah. I think she’s one of the children fathered by Seal

Dunstan

Well, if she’s not my biological daughter, then Woody Allen says I can hit that.

Senor Weaselo

Well fuck: This is now 20 years ago. Happy Trogday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90X5NJleYJQ

Senor Weaselo

(Update: Today’s the 12th, it came out the 13th. So Happy Trogday Eve.)

Sharkbait

Good lord thats not cool.

WCS

The “s” is for “sucks.”

Senor Weaselo

Meanwhile at Stop &/or Shop…

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Gumbygirl

What the hell is this, and why does it seem vaguely familiar?

Don T

Predicción: I’ll be giggling at Damar’s humoUrs gag for a solid week.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Well that’s not how modern medicine works!” – Miami Dolphins doctors

Brocky

So I went down a Google rabbit hole about the Blackhawks, and I found out two things

Antti Niemi was Finnish (I thought he was Norwegian)

And he was the first Finn goaltender to win the Stanley cup.

There that’s a thing you know

herodotus450

“Oh, were you talking to me?”
-Niemi’s Dad’s sister

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How did they find Jim Caldwell?

Mr. Ayo

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Brocky

I can’t find it on Google, so just assume this is where I would post the picture of Jim caldwell and the cat

herodotus450

“Just think about it this way guys: they’re not the other team’s fans, they’re your future fans if you play well enough to get priced out of here.”

Brick Meathook

Has anyone ever seen a TV show called Fear the Walking Dead?

I’m asking for a friend who’s dead.

ballsofsteelandfury

TWBS?

Brocky

Don’t insult him like that

King Hippo

Exhibit 1 as to why he likely did…

Alycia.jpg
Brocky

I’ve never heard any thing Good. It’s literally as predictable as can be. All the annoying tropes of the main show but somehow even more aimless

BugEyedBoo

Fear them if they’re walking.

Sharkbait

Ice Giants tie the Ice Cowboys with less than a second left!

Mr. Ayo

Meanwhile, in actual relevance, the ICE HOX have won 7 in a row by shutting out the despicable and vile ICE P*TS at their home.

Fun fact. Today’s game was the first home loss for the fightin’ Tawmmies.

Sharkbait

My hockey chat is blaming a friend of ours for going to the game and ruining it.

Senor Weaselo

And Foxy the MSG Network Fox with the winner!

Sharkbait

I got a blank reverse retro jersey for Christmas. Key and Fox are each making strong arguments for their names and numbers going on the back of it.

Senor Weaselo

As I said, I got a Foxy sweater for my birthday from Padre Weaselo (one size too big that I need to return to the NHL shop by the end of the month… so we get a refund… so we can get the proper size. I blame Bettman.)

litre_cola

Fulham beat the neighboUrhood tenants today. 2nd time in 31 matches, and 1st time since 04. I haz a happy.

Last edited 1 year ago by litre_cola
herodotus450

The label fell off my apple-derived liquid so I dont know if it’s cider or juice. All I do know is that it’s tangy and brown

ballsofsteelandfury

was jetzt?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Don T

Except in Canada

BugEyedBoo
Gumbygirl

I saw a picture of Lisa Marie Presley at the Golden Globes and I thought she looked near death. Turns out she was nearer than I thought.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I always considered myself a well-wisher of hers, in that I never wished her any particular harm. RIP, lady.

Dunstan

I’m now wondering if family tradition dictates that an entire generation of dipshits will believe tabloid stories claiming to have seen her at a diner in Mississippi, a swap meet in Iowa, etc.

jjfozz

At least she wasn’t taking a dump when she kicked off

Brick Meathook

Yes, but is Lisa Marie alive?

TheRevanchist

She’ went down to the end of Lonely Street at Heartbreak Hotel.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of the frustrating things for me about the Carr saga is people acting like the franchise did him dirty. I mean, yes, it’s pretty sad that they went down a path that led to the parting of ways, but I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have chosen that path if he hadn’t gone into Pittsburgh in a must-win game and throwing THREE FUCKING PICKS and wasting his defense’s best effort of the season.

ballsofsteelandfury

To be fair (to be fair to be fair), the Steelers D in the second half of the season was getting turnovers at an unreal pace. They’re the real reason why they managed to get to 9-8.

Carr just ran into a defense that was concentrating on creating turnovers in order to win games. He fared about as well as other QBs did.

ballsofsteelandfury

Just checked the stats. The Steelers co-led the league in interceptions with the 49ers. Both the 49ers and Steelers owed their season records to turnovers despite having issues at QB.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The least points the Steelers defense has given up all season is 10. To the Raiders (and also Saints).

BugEyedBoo

This is an old number these days, but rule of thumb is that if the opponent was held to 17 or under, the defense did its job.

Beerguyrob

I am at school with the Canucks game on in a reduced window. I can’t wait to see how they lose tonight’s game!

Last edited 1 year ago by Beerguyrob
jjfozz

I’m drinking a lot of hot tea and honey to counter this sore throat. Does this mean I’m gonna start paying attention to the royal family?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I believe the British drink their tea with milk and sugar from one of the colonies. Cecil would know, we should ask him.

Game Time Decision

Pinky out?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sigh. Yes, I too wish the final event of the Marble League had turned out differently.

jjfozz

Brothers, I am beat. I have been sick for like, a decade. Last week it was double pink eye, earlier in December it was the flu. Now it’s this nagging dry cough and sore throat.

What the fucking FUCK!

Brocky

I had nagging cough for like a month after getting flu during Thanksgiving. Doctor said I coughed so hard I damaged my throat and got a post secondary infection.

I’m no doctor but I was dumb enough to let the same thing happen first time I had covid.

Assuming you haven’t seen a doctor already, I recommend some antibiotics, and going overkill with the tea and cough drops. (I put like 6 in my mouth at one time like they were candy). Just standard cold treatments, but deliberately going overboard with throat treatments

ballsofsteelandfury

You wanna stick what down your throat?

– Linda Lovelace

Brocky

I just stuffed my mouth full, let my saliva do the work until I felt the warmth rolling down my throat

Brocky

I’m only half joking, going over kill with the cough drops helped a shit ton

King Hippo

ALWAYS go to the doctor for a persistent cough. INSIST on Tussionex, nectar of teh Gods (bloor or otherwise)

jjfozz

i called the fucktards at the doctor’s office, was assured i was going to get a prescription filled, and apparently they were too busy picking lice off each other to get the fucking thing filled

Brocky

Do…. do you need a hug?

herodotus450

Hmm, and you’re sure you’re drinking and smoking enough? Well then I’m stumped!

Brocky

watching last few minutes of Minnesota OSU with my dad, camera shows Ohio State Coach during a timeout

Coach: now we have a foul to give so don’t be scared to he handsy alright

Me: and of course OSU wants to be Handsy!

beat

Dad: really?

I just chuckle to myself

ballsofsteelandfury

Is “c’mon on” the new “Login In”?

herodotus450

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BeefReeferLives

Y’know, when I’m in the market for any gadget or appliance, the phrase “Napalm Compatible” is a big check in the “Pros” column.

Shame that Christmas gift season is over though….

https://throwflame.com/products/x15-flamethrower/

WCS

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Check the lines before you spark.

Brocky

All the movies scenes in the world to reference and you didn’t go with this?

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Don T

I love that a flamethrower is in the Home / Products folder. Must be Gen. Curtis LeMay’s home.

BeefReeferLives

It was probably going to be a whuppin anyway, but without Tua, Mike McDaniels is heading for an Atomic wedgie on Sunday. Perhaps even the dreaded “Rear Admiral”..

However, based on looks, I’m guessing that he is rather used to them.

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Brocky

Seriously, he is the least “head coach looking” head coach in the history of the nfl

Gumbygirl

A swirlie for sure.