Your NFC Conference Champeenship Open Thread

Hey, was anyone surprised to read that Joe Judge was an extremely shitty qb coach and that he alienated other coaches and players on the Pats, especially Mac Jones, his primary responsibility? Word has it he’s been relieved of that job but will stay with the team in a reduced role. The pathetic dude will be coaching high school in five years for sure.

/thanks, I needed to get that off my chest

To The Game!

Niners/Eagles:

-San Fran has not allowed an rb to rush for more than 70 yards in 27 straight tilts. This year they allowed an average of only 79 yards per game-but more about that later.

-In what figures to be a close game it might be noteworthy to mention that the Eagles went for it on 4th down 32 times, converting 22 of them-that was good for second overall. Across the aisle, Baby Shanny leans towards old school thinking in that he likes to turn things over to his D, trying to win the field advantage game as well as trying to get turnovers.

-It says on the intranets that a rook qb has never won a Conference Championship game. One of the reasons that Purdy has been successful is that he is more slippery in the pocket than Jimmy G. This takes me back to the Giants ’91 Super Bowl win and the runup to it. When Simms went down he was replaced by Jeff Hostetler who was much more mobile and defenses weren’t able to adjust in time. I think Purdy is benefiting from the same sort of circumstance.

-When Philly has lost they’ve given up some big rushing totals. The Commies beat them and ran for 152, the Cowboys went for 115 and the Saints had 129.

-Under The Radar Guy: Keep an eye on Niners wr Jauan Jennings-if he’s in on 1st or 2nd down they are likely running the ball because he is an exceptional blocker. If he’s around for 3rd down Purdy will likely be looking for him as his nickname is “Third and JJ”.

-Philly was second in the league for explosive pass plays. (gains of 20+ and 40+ yards) Hurts ended up 4th in deep pass DVOA and 5th in completed air yards per pass attempt. The Niners have given up a pass of 46+ yards in their last five games. Some wr’s have had great games against them-Lamb had 117, Davante 153, JuJu 124 and MVS had 111.

-Since week 13 the Eagles have played only one team that has a defensive DVOA better than 16th in the league-in those games they averaged 33.6 points but vs the Saints (#1 overall) they scored a mere 10.

Have at it.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Never forget that Greg Olsen is a TERRIBLE human being

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think Farmer Wants a Wife would be more fun if one of the “wives” were trans.

WCS

Just a drag queen who reads at libraries.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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LemonJello

Olsen lobbying hard for a Purdy Pick-6 just to see if the can throw the ball is fucking re-goddamm-diculous.

Spur

Farmer Wants a Wife (Sister Died)

Redshirt

How do the 49ers not know if Purdy can throw?

Doktor Zymm

This game is ArchieMcPhee level novelty
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Santa Clara defense has to know this game is over if they don’t score.

WCS
Petronel

Some of that smile is Kittle and some of it is THE GOOD SHIIIITTTT

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Dunstan

The NFL should have a rule like the NHL, where there’s an emergency backup QB sitting in the stadium who can suit up for either team if needed. Some guy who has a regular day job and just gets free tickets to show up just in case.

The Toronto Maple Leafs once lost a game to the EBUG, who was their minor league affiliate’s Zamboni driver. I’m trying to figure out which NFL team would be most likely to lose to my hypothetical emergency QB.

Ah, it’s the Jets, isn’t it? Gotta be.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean the Raiders lost to Jeff Saturday and Baker Mayfield both during their first weeks with their respective teams; they probably have the chops to pull it off.

King Hippo

But not Donks WOO

Gatoraids

should be able to call someone from the TV booth

Doktor Zymm

I can see the Browns Brownsing it up

Redshirt

“Tom Brady, please report to the playing field.”

ThePirateSloth

[Seahawks have entered the chat]

Doktor Zymm

This is where home field advantage comes into play, much easier to find someone in the stands to play QB for you

Mr. Ayo

Is Marky Mark available?!?

Petronel

Hell, Joe M is a PA guy…

Last edited 1 year ago by Petronel
Dunstan

I mean, there’s some good arms in that Philly crowd, built up from years of throwing batteries.

litre_cola

Deci and I went to an asian groceteria yestetday and I purchased Lays “Numb and Spicy Hot Pot flavoUr” bloody delish

ThePirateSloth

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Spur

PURDY coming in!

LemonJello

Kern have money on this game?

King Hippo

He knows how he’s let down DonT

Spur

a run heavy wildcat offense for Santa Clara might be the winning formula

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is McCaffrey more likely to get hurt as QB?

King Hippo

Pshaw he ain’t throw with his LEG smgdh

Redshirt

49ers fans are regretting their prayers to “just give McCaffrey the ball on every play!”.

King Hippo

This has turned into Mike Tyson beating up a ret….Special Young Man. And not just -ish like with Darnold. Full blown Special.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Mr. Ayo

This Kyle Shanahan QB optional challenge just moved to Nightmare! difficultly level.

Spur
Petronel

So, at this point, does being a 49ers quarterback count as a high risk factor?

Gatoraids

Safer to be an employee of twitter

King Hippo

Totes gonna be an insurance coverage problem

Doktor Zymm

Their insurance premiums are gonna skyrocket

WCS

Get Jake from State Farm to get them the Patrick Price.

fleshwound_NPG
Senor Weaselo

Hey, he was an All-American at Baruch!

Senor Weaselo

Next on the QB depth chart is… Dave Ayers?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So…do I need to bench Kelce in my weird playoff fantasy thing?

ballsofsteelandfury

BY GAWD, THAT’S PURDY’S MUSIC!!

Doktor Zymm

Ok, I really want to see CMC under center

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s referred to as a “Cougar” when Zach Wilson is in the formation.

Dunstan

“49ers QB” is the new “Spinal Tap drummer”

WCS

BANNER

WCS

HAIL CHAOS

LemonJello

Emergency QB possibilities in Philly! Ho. Lee. Fuk.

Spur

might be the best for Santa Clara

Mr. Ayo

IT’S HAPPENING!!!

King Hippo

#5 is alive!

Petronel

you have GOT to be shitting me

Doktor Zymm

I just realized that DOG is the acronym for Delay Of Game!

This game has a lot of DOGs!
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Cecil Rhodes

Riley Cooper sighting in the VIP suite! Not a single black person in sight in the box — can’t say that I’m surprised!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Watching the halftime show on mute; Gronk is going to be a terrific anchor on Fox News someday.

WCS

Gronk is too naturally upbeat and not nearly cynical enough to be on cable news.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My assessment is based almost entirely on his haircut.

Doktor Zymm

He’s like a giant, horny, puppy. He could only do good news.

WCS

It’s Lea Michele backup plan if acting fizzles out.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If there’s anything I’ve learned about the cast of Glee, it’s that backup plans are not something they believe in.

ballsofsteelandfury

I know

– Lea Michelle

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Where’d you read that?!
–Also Lea Michele

Cecil Rhodes

My word…DJ Jazzy Jeff is the best they could get for a conference championship game in 2023? Surely, they could have rolled out the corpse of Liberace and it would have been more entertaining!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve been to a Liberace show. The Man was an Entertainer.

Mr. Ayo

This Verizon halftime brought to you by… AT&T!

Haha, just kidding. It was brought to you by Verizon actually.

LemonJello

“Can the Niners win with Josh Johnson?”

Studio panel: “No.”

End Scene

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

Santa Clara begging to have the Packers as a substitute opponent for the 2nd half.

fleshwound_NPG
Senor Weaselo

I give that a +7(th Floor Crew)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Looking forward to “Air Bud 9: On The Mic” to set a new standard.

Doktor Zymm

Geez, JJ has been on 13 NFL teams and this is his 4th time on the Niners’ roster

BugEyedBoo

HR doesn’t have to get his SSN, etc, anymore.

Mr. Ayo
ballsofsteelandfury

Do people watch the Gordon Ramsay shows just in the off chance that one of the contestants loses it and just whales on his ass?

Spur

Purdy is being a lil bitch. get the shot and man up.

Gatoraids

Cut if off and commissar it up

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ballsofsteelandfury
Dunstan

get the shot and man up.

Aaron Rodgers glares angrily.

Cecil Rhodes

Josh Johnson has made these kinds of mistakes for FOURTEEN different teams over his FIFTEEN year career. How do fellows like him and Nathan Peterman find ways to stay in the league? Do nude photographs of the Ginger’s Hammer really carry that much weight?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This has to be the nail in his career’s coffin. The whole point is he experienced holding a clipboard and won’t suck absolute ass in this worst case scenario. Well, he sucks ass. Cut him loose.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…nude photographs of the Ginger’s Hammer

“How much?” – Peter King