TGIF! We made it to the Superb Owl weekend! I’m flying to Denver to do some low key Moose hunting, visit some friends to discuss their thoughts on Mr. Unlimited, and see their reaction to the Chefs in the big game. Can’t wait!
Survival – Personal Edition
Today’s lesson is immediately useful. That’s right, we’re going to go over the particulars of identifying breast implants. There will be a test throughout the rest of today’s post where appropriate. Well, a series of polls actually, but I will grade each of you that answer them. Anyway, let’s get to the lesson!
- First sign is gravity defying breasts. Especially over 30, they shouldn’t be high up unless a strong supporting bra is in place. The higher they sit on the torso, the more likely you’re seeing implants.
- Check the body ratio. Breasts are normally proportional to body size. So a petite lady with huge bazookas could be a warning sign.
- Look for oddly shaped or arranged breasts. Good implant jobs will not have this issue as much, but bad ones will be obvious. If the breasts are shaped more like a ball, or the implant line can be seen through tight clothing that’s an easy answer.
- Inspect the cleavage area. If they’re natural, it’s more likely the cleavage will be covered up. With implants, well, they want to show them off. And the cleavage area with implants can show a ripple effect.
- If it’s appropriate, go in for a tight hug. The firmness will inform you of fakes.
- Lastly, if it’s someone you know well, just ask. You might be pleasantly surprised how much they want to show them off.
Alright, great talk. Now it’s time for a practical application. After each picture with enough relevant information, answer the poll question. The answers will SHOCK you!
Click here to get to commenting
Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Poll Question 1:
Loading ...
Poll Question 2:
Loading ...
Poll Question 3:
Loading ...
Poll Question 4:
Loading ...
Poll Question 5:
Loading ...
Poll Question 6:
Loading ...
Poll Question 7:
Loading ...
Poll Question 8:
Loading ...
Poll Question 9:
Loading ...
Poll Question 10:
Loading ...Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!
Given a vote?
No boob jobs ever.
I’d make an exception for cancer reconstruction, but other than that I can’t see why anyone would pay to have fake ones.
The key is that you are thinking about what you want. Everyone gets their own say about their own bodies. Fuck the man and screw the sexist bourgeois!
Hi!
I hate these fucking 5 day work weeks.
Who invented that?
A real jagoff.
Union activists maybe? They weren’t nearly ambitious enough
Hey – we got you down from six-day weeks. The rest is up to you!
I’ve been lying in bed for a week recovering from Covid, which I think I’m pretty much over now. The massive amounts of opiates I took didn’t cure anything, but they sure helped pass the time.
Here’s a nice picture of a choo-choo train with great big tits:
The penultimate image reminds me a little bit of the woman I saw on the beach in Ventura at 9 a.m. this morning who was having a beer. Not much of a physical resemblance, but the spirit was the same.
I love LA.
So does anyone have the answer key?
Silly questions like that are how you get yourself disinvited from one of Horatio’s key parties.
With all the renovations we’ve had going on the last three weeks I have no idea where our keys are, so by all means please bring some over.
I think Ayo said he did.
Geno Malkin just scored his 1,200th NHL point, the second Rooskie to do that (Ovenchicken).
he’s not wrong
Ice Stillers – Ice Panthers East Final!
Submitted for your approval: apropos of all the boob talk, obviously harassment and catcalling must not exist if there are still hot women trying to get boob jobs. They just need more compliments!!
I can watch Cesar Millan train these dog owners all the time. The crappy commercials still make me want to turn it off, though. I don’t give a damn if kiss begins with k.
Here’s how to train your dog. If they do something good praise them and give them a treat. If they do something bad grab them by the throat and pin them to the ground.
This also works with children, but “they” won’t tell you that.
Those darn “they”! Emeril, on his original food network show, said something like the following:
Now, they will tell you alto add milk to your eggs. Who are they, and why are you listening to what they are telling you? You do what makes you happy. Screw what they try to tell you.
I have been a fan since that day.
If you’re making scrambled eggs then “they” are correct.
So it seems Michael Irvin has been banned from all Marriotts, and also he is suing them for ‘canceling’ him
Will Motel 6 still leave the light on for him?
Hookers and blow?
He can still snort blow in the bathroom at a Hyatt Regency.
Please tell me this has something to do with Mike wildly misunderstanding the term “scissoring”
He’s more of a razor guy.
My All Pro
She’s amazing
On of the originals. Her recent funeral drew hundreds of thousands spanning many decades of admiration.
Edwige is real. We get plenty of test material on her every Saturday night.
I suck at the polls.
Phrasing….
It happens when you are drunk. No one here judges… mostly.
Great work Mr. Ayo. I need a “I took ‘THE’ test” sticker.
https://www.espn.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/35633413/nmsu-men-hoops-season-halted-indefinitely-amid-new-allegations
30 For 30 in production as you read this.
Someone on Twitter suggested this needs a 90 for 90, and I don’t think they’re wrong.
What in the actual fuck is going on there??
If pop culture has taught me anything, all of New Mexico is a cartel turf war.
Apparently they covered up a murder awhile ago, and the latest has to do with hazing.
The true Cannonball Run.
Need to way to shave ten hours off the time.
Drive through Sault Sainte Marie?
Just drop down to Detroit and whatever town Pat Verbeek came from right across the border and you’ll clear 6-8 hours easily.
Sarnia! I think.
Just found out a friend of mine’s kid won the NCBA, (think NCAA, but more punchier), championship at 185 lbs.
If you’re so inclined go to 1:24:10 and you can watch him beat the piss out of a clearly outclassed kid from Navy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YN2MDYwXo-Q
Fun fact – when men have enlarged mammary tissue, it’s called gynecomastia. It’s quite common and especially in some communities of gay men breast reduction surgery is popular to deal with it
Real or Implants Pic 11
They’re real, and they’re spectacular!
Mother nature scoffs
Tonight’s cocktail:
1 oz. cognac
0.5 oz Canton ginger liqueur
0.5 oz Grand Marnier
1 oz orange juice
steeped with slice ginger for 15 minutes or so
shaken over ice
served in a coupe glass with a 2:1 sugar:ginger powder rim
Going to present it as a birthday present to my wife’s cousin.
Need a name. It’s her 66th birthday, so I’m thinking “[Something] 66”.
Route 66?
Oh! How about Root 66!
/cause of the ginger root
Winner
The scientific name for ginger is Zingiber officinale, and ‘z’ is a cool letter so maybe Zing 66?
I kinda like Zingiber-66.
3 + 66
Phillips 66
Nice-3.
(literally all of the other names suggested are great, please do not use this one)
“a petite lady with huge bazookas could be a warning sign”
Yeah, for filth AND monogamy
She also might be pregnant with a horribly malnourished baby, or suffering from macromastia or gigantomastia
Don’t kink shame me, Zymm.
What part of that is shaming? It’s just a list of reasons why a woman might have disproportionately large breasts
Coincidentally enough, I was talking to a friend who is considering getting implants. You really need to do your research and be willing to pay top dollar for a great pair. Too many women don’t do that.
Also don’t be afraid to travel abroad. South America (Brazil and Colombia) are known for implants.
Also México!
Sin senos no hay paraíso
At least someone gets my reference
We had a friend who was absolutely gorgeous and still wanted breast implants. She never got them, and I like to think our telling her that she was out of her fucking mind had something to do with it.
This Covid recovery sucks. It took me all afternoon to clean one bathroom. I’m exhausted, it’s fucking ridiculous. Woe is me! But good news, my lungs have recovered enough that I can take tiny hits off a doob, instead of having to choke down edibles. There’s a bright side!
I’ve taken to glass one-hitters ever since they were featured in Frugal Stoner Quarterly.
I have a couple of glass pipes, but not one hitters. I guess I could just put a tiny bit in and see how that goes.
Jim Breur (however you spell it, no one cares), is now the go-to comedian for right-wing Anti-vaxxer conspiracy theorists.
Great career move, Jim; your target audience is literally dying from an easily preventable disease. You fucking asshole.
I’m sleeping with someone who highly recommends one-hitters.
I believe Don T has met her.
Longterm Covid person here with a hot tip. Do not get sick. You will feel like death and it takes longer to get over the cold or flu
I’m wearing a mask everywhere.
All I have left is a really annoying cough, and I’m sure that my wife’s constant pot smoking combined with all the dust from taking down 70-year-old walls and ceiling and then taping, plastering, and sanding dry wall over them has nothing to do with that.
She’s living in a house with no kitchen and I’m sure everyone still expects to eat. You sir, are lucky she’s not sucking on a crack pipe!
Well, she’;s certainly sucking on so…
/is hit in the head by a brick fired out of a trebuchet
Live, from the Cornblower residence
Here are my picks:
1- Implant
2- Real
3- Implant
4- Real
5- Real
6- Real
7- Implant
8- Implant
9- Real
10- Implant
I think they are all ready for penile implants.
I’m way too lazy to go back and check my votes, (not to lazy to go back and stare in a way that could charitably be described as ‘disturbing’), but I do recall thinking that there were a surprising number of real breasts.
I believe I’ve fixed the poll. Please try again!
War at its FINEST:
Did my beverage shopping for Sunday: Light Strawberry and light lime margarita mix, both 10 calories per. Moonshine, 100 proof, only because they don’t sell it much higher with any decent flavor. Pickle juice, since the dark, barrel liquors just need a masking agent. Everything else I need for drinks I already have in stock.
Also bought food, but who really gives a shit about that.
/Andy Reid has entered the chat.
//Uh-oh, he’s stuck
Fetch the butter.
Can’t, he ate it.
I’m gonna open the Cab Franc I’ve been saving to start, then probably gin cocktails of some sort
Gumby bought a humungous sausage and cheese extravaganza for the Owl from Nueskes. Yum! I might just do all appetizers, mebbe some shrimp with cocktail sauce, and a veggie tray.
All appetizers is an underrated way to do a meal, appetizers are the best!
We just did that at a local pub, and I couldn’t;t agree more.
Also, adult me? Brussel sprouts are fucking awesome.
I have had some delicious brussels sprouts, and while many of them were absolutely drenched in tasty grease, there were also non-greasy ones that were excellent!
I got a NC BBQ package off of Goldbelly, will be having the ribs for the Owl, and been munching on some of the pulled pork and hush puppies for dinner tonight. I decided to try a sort of pulled pork taco and finally try the pickle de gallo I’ve been eyeing at the grocery store. With the pickle de gallo and a bit of coleslaw (for extra crunch and creaminess to contrast with the vinegar elements from the sauce and pickles) it makes a damn fine taco!
I voted implant on the first one, then got told I’d already voted on all of the others.
Didn’t stop me from staring at the boobs, though.
SEXY FRIDAY:
Reminds me of the movie Folks.
I could watch this all day. The kid’s slow-motion collapse after getting his dick bitten is great, but so is the dog’s entire thinking process, particularly after the nut-chomp where he is still looking for the red dot.
That’s what he gets for cropping that poor pup’s ears.
What is that?
Dobermans’ ears are naturally floppy. Assholes have them surgically cut and stitched so they stay straight up. Unlike the owner’s dicks.
It’s disgusting. They do it to Great Danes too.
I thought they were antlers.
.
Great Googly Moogly! Those were some thought-provoking poll questions.
Because I’m not sure my votes got recorded correctly and I like to be graded separately:
Picture 1: Implants
More answers to follow…
Yeah the poll was busted for me, my first vote went all the way through….
I think the same happened to me
Something busted alright.
Are you also looking for an alot of beer while you’re in Colorado?
Beer alots are the best alots!
Followed only by ocelots.
I like bibelots. Alot of bibelots!