As Barry Manilow famously said, “Looks like we made it!” As with every season, t’was a tortuous route for all of us-we lost some some folks/fans but we gained some as well and learned something along the way. (I learned that I didn’t learn anything, which is a kind of learning)
Some Superb Owl Facts You May Not Know-
-The game was named by famous ornithologist John James Audubon who also named The Great Horned Owl on the very same day, the only man to name two species in a 24 hour period. The Germans were so impressed with this feat they named their highway system after him!
-Wacko Super Bowl truthers insist that Lamar Hunt named it after a kid’s toy. (thank heavens the Hunt kids weren’t playing with a Slinky) Actually, sports writers were calling it the Super Bowl back in 1966-Arthur Dailey, a columnist in New York called it ‘the superduper bowl’. It caught on quite easily, given that some of the competition out there at the time was The Bluebonnet Bowl, The Tangerine Bowl, The Sun Bowl and The Pasadena Bowl.
-The game has only been played in Canada-adjacent states three times-each time Michigan and Minnesota’s Labatt’s and Molson reservoirs came dangerously close to drying up. Lesson learned, America!
To The Game!
Chiefs/Eagles:
-Is there a betting line on Kadarius Toney getting hurt? Because he is going to get hurt. As far as other props go, I’d take a Justin Watson anytime TD at +700. You can take the Gatoraid prop and give yourself an enema with it.
-The only teams to record more than the Eagles 70 sacks are the ’89 Vikes (71) and the ’84 Bears (72).
-To offset that pressure look for K.C. to employ wr screens, jet sweeps and delayed screens to the running backs.
-Shoulder Responsibilities?: Hurts was an effective deep passer in the regular season but he is only 2 of 7 on passes of 20+ yards in the playoffs. (none of them for scores)
-Much like all at their position, Philly’s lb’s are overmatched vs Kelce. For that reason the team may turn to man fathered by a 19th century English manservant and birthed by an accountancy firm, one Chauncey Gardner-Johnson.
-The Chiefs run game on 1st down in the playoffs is a crapshoot. They’ve averaged 2.8 yards per carry so far.
-Hassan Reddick Feast Day: He’ll be lined up against Chiefs guard Andrew Wylie who has, bless his heart, very generously given up (9!) sacks so far this year.
-Philly nay-sayers have pointed out that the quality of teams they’ve played against isn’t exactly top-notch. Football Outsiders has their sked ranked as the easiest in the league by a good margin. And really, they’ve battled against the likes of Josh Johnson, One-Armed Purdy, Webb, Rush, Pickett, Mills, Heinicke and Dalton. Do those guys even qualify as ‘C’ level talent?
-“Tyreek, Who’s He?”: The Chiefs as a team had more yards after the catch than any squadoo in the last 15 years. Using the Expected Points Added metric, the offense became more efficient than it was last year.
-Mahomes’ EPA per pass play ranking vs zone? #1. Vs man? #1. Vs the blitz? #1. Vs no blitz? #1. Vs split safeties? #1. Vs single-high safeties? #2, like a sucker.
-No team has beaten the Chiefs by more than 4 points this year.
-K.C. likes to play press coverage and wr Brown ranks #1 there but he’s been quiet in the playoffs with 7 grabs (on 14 targets) for a mere 54 yards. He’s been open but Hurts has missed him.
-All things considered, I’m leaning towards them Chiefs. They appear to have huge advantages at qb and coach and Philly’s gaudy stats have come against questionable teams in questionable circumstances. But what do I know? Nothing.
Enjoy. Drop in and say hello if you haven’t recently, we’d love to hear from you.
I wish that graphic were real and there was a giant Andy Reid looming over the end zone.
Good thing my life isn’t a Wishmaster movie.
You know, i never believed in Jesus before, but that commercial…..makes me really hate him.
That Flash trailer wasn’t that bad
I prefer Zeus
“light in the box”
teehee
So was every graybeard in that Caddyshack ad someone from the movie?
No, most of them are dead.
What about Chevy Chases career…oh riiiight.
can’t even spring for a gopher, BRING BACK THE BUD BOWL
START THE DAMN HALFTIME SHOW BEFORE I PISS MYSELF!!”
At least the Canadian feed didn’t go out when they shot down the Rogers balloon over Lake Huron.
Thank god for unions.
sorry that was my bad
Watching football game with family who doesn’t know shit about football. Can someone call in a bomb threat or something?
Well there’s that Flash movie trailer.
Serving skyline chili is a bomb threat, no?
That mostly for the toilets.
You must suffer like the rest of us with people watching football for the first time this season
Dude if that toxic spill ain’t gonna convince you to move out of Ohio, a bomb threat ain’t gonna cut it
Best I can do is a Facebook rumor of some “ethnic” families moving into the area.
Doink! Hail SHANK’LOR!
HEIL!
DOINK with a high profile Owl appearance!
Doink!
“Nailed it!”
– B. Walsh
HAIL DOINKESH
Nailed it! — Blair Walsh
DOINK
Blair witch
Shank’lor will never be denied! Or is it his celestial bride, Doink’lor?
DOINK with an Owl appearance
BONGGGGGG
Damn!
SCORE A TOUCHDOWN BEFORE THE QUARTER BREAK YOU JACKHOLES
The turf looks like it came from FedEx Field.
It was outside too long and melted in the sun
Chefs playing like they’ve been there before, Eagles going kinda Raidery.
Shhhh! You will hurt Rikki’s feelings.
I’m currently wearing the silver and black colors of comical sadness myself.
Just double Kelce and take your chances.
Their parents already did that though.
You leave Mrs. Kelce out of this!
I mean if we’re taking chances why wouldn’t someone just physically maim a superstar qb.
Your fan base will start a go fund me
This Kelce guy might be pretty good
Gonna throw the “Statistical Misleading” flag on that last comment: it’s not that surprising that the Eagles at a lot of sacks in the first year of the expanded season.
Suh always been a dirty player
Facts
Why don’t teams simply script all of their plays, if it works so well at the start of the game.
Bradley Cooper’s mother is Joan Rivers
So for the …. fourth time (or is it fifth time) with in the last decade or so, my unintentional super bowl tradition:
My old Chinese roommate from college is asking me about football, who is good and who I’m rooting for?
Like I’m not joking we’ll go the whole year without talking but he’ll text me during the super bowl.
Perhaps he’s trying to improve his social credit with you?
Did you ask him about those balloons?
I think there’s only one thing the Eagles can do to keep pace with the Chiefs: Put Jason Kelce in the slot.
This T – mobile ad is giving me herpes. It’s worse than the Dunkin ad with J-lo and shitty Ben.
SHUT. UP. OLSEN.
Russell Wilson and his wife trying to remind people he also won a superbowl while being a black quarterback
We is hitting 4 figures commenting tonite
O WE GON KOMMENT
CHUH CHUH
Drunk commenting feels good man
“Where’s the other three?” [lifts hand above head in anticipation]
-Ray Rice
Got caught cheating that time. Fucking eagles
The Dude abides.
True Fact:
“Kelce” means ‘uncoverable’ in Don Coryellspeak
Sorry, Pacino still did it better.
“Would you turn your back on a Black man playing QB?” — Jimmy the Greek Snyder, 1978
Hi. Called kelce. Fuck
We’re back to the “babies as adults” in advertising campaigns again? Fuck all the way off with that.
For all my fellow Canadians, remember that each one of these Fanduel ads that apply only to Ontario are protected in the new NAFTA thanks to Roger Goodell lobbying Trump to protect broadcasting rights – with specific reference to the Super Bowl.
Fuck Roger Goodell.
This is why I’m watching on my parents’ IPTV feed. No bullshit, just piracy.
Seeing how Canada doesn’t get Superb Owl commercials, how’s America’s Chernobyl going?
I keep the ads muted. Hippo is nae target demographic
I don’t know, I’ve lost contact with Ohio.
Another UFO was shot down over Lake Huron.
Fucking Jimmy
Guns blazing to start
Still couldn’t stop us with all that ref payola from them shithead green birds.
Eagles have to play a team with a real QB!?!?!
NOT FAIR!
As opposed to the Cowboys?
/ Sorry
KC Redacteds have a back name Pachecko, which sounds Ukranian? Well, I know who’s going to win this game
He tunnelled between his linemen like his ancestors presumably tunnelled under the Rio Grande!
Ogles got away with a hands to the face again. Fucking refs
So far both defenses are unstoppingable.
“Tell me about it!” – Pat Tillman’s kevlar
Crazy ass family memeber: “in what way is the Bible sexist?”
Me: “they say literally every problem on earth is caused by women”
Can sexism exist in an imaginary story though? pple are wondering.
You at Fozz’s with the MIL.?