As Barry Manilow famously said, “Looks like we made it!” As with every season, t’was a tortuous route for all of us-we lost some some folks/fans but we gained some as well and learned something along the way. (I learned that I didn’t learn anything, which is a kind of learning)
Some Superb Owl Facts You May Not Know-
-The game was named by famous ornithologist John James Audubon who also named The Great Horned Owl on the very same day, the only man to name two species in a 24 hour period. The Germans were so impressed with this feat they named their highway system after him!
-Wacko Super Bowl truthers insist that Lamar Hunt named it after a kid’s toy. (thank heavens the Hunt kids weren’t playing with a Slinky) Actually, sports writers were calling it the Super Bowl back in 1966-Arthur Dailey, a columnist in New York called it ‘the superduper bowl’. It caught on quite easily, given that some of the competition out there at the time was The Bluebonnet Bowl, The Tangerine Bowl, The Sun Bowl and The Pasadena Bowl.
-The game has only been played in Canada-adjacent states three times-each time Michigan and Minnesota’s Labatt’s and Molson reservoirs came dangerously close to drying up. Lesson learned, America!
To The Game!
Chiefs/Eagles:
-Is there a betting line on Kadarius Toney getting hurt? Because he is going to get hurt. As far as other props go, I’d take a Justin Watson anytime TD at +700. You can take the Gatoraid prop and give yourself an enema with it.
-The only teams to record more than the Eagles 70 sacks are the ’89 Vikes (71) and the ’84 Bears (72).
-To offset that pressure look for K.C. to employ wr screens, jet sweeps and delayed screens to the running backs.
-Shoulder Responsibilities?: Hurts was an effective deep passer in the regular season but he is only 2 of 7 on passes of 20+ yards in the playoffs. (none of them for scores)
-Much like all at their position, Philly’s lb’s are overmatched vs Kelce. For that reason the team may turn to man fathered by a 19th century English manservant and birthed by an accountancy firm, one Chauncey Gardner-Johnson.
-The Chiefs run game on 1st down in the playoffs is a crapshoot. They’ve averaged 2.8 yards per carry so far.
-Hassan Reddick Feast Day: He’ll be lined up against Chiefs guard Andrew Wylie who has, bless his heart, very generously given up (9!) sacks so far this year.
-Philly nay-sayers have pointed out that the quality of teams they’ve played against isn’t exactly top-notch. Football Outsiders has their sked ranked as the easiest in the league by a good margin. And really, they’ve battled against the likes of Josh Johnson, One-Armed Purdy, Webb, Rush, Pickett, Mills, Heinicke and Dalton. Do those guys even qualify as ‘C’ level talent?
-“Tyreek, Who’s He?”: The Chiefs as a team had more yards after the catch than any squadoo in the last 15 years. Using the Expected Points Added metric, the offense became more efficient than it was last year.
-Mahomes’ EPA per pass play ranking vs zone? #1. Vs man? #1. Vs the blitz? #1. Vs no blitz? #1. Vs split safeties? #1. Vs single-high safeties? #2, like a sucker.
-No team has beaten the Chiefs by more than 4 points this year.
-K.C. likes to play press coverage and wr Brown ranks #1 there but he’s been quiet in the playoffs with 7 grabs (on 14 targets) for a mere 54 yards. He’s been open but Hurts has missed him.
-All things considered, I’m leaning towards them Chiefs. They appear to have huge advantages at qb and coach and Philly’s gaudy stats have come against questionable teams in questionable circumstances. But what do I know? Nothing.
Enjoy. Drop in and say hello if you haven’t recently, we’d love to hear from you.
One score lead but it seems like more.
Well, the Eagles have sort of scored 4 times to the Chiefs 1, it’s just that
Oh shit, ankle tackle
This game is already streets ahead of last year.
Folks I just tested this one and it’s good:
Kansas City Ice Water
Shake 1 oz gin, 1 oz vodka, 1/2 oz triple sec, 1/2 oz lime juice, and strain into pint glass. Top with 3 oz lemon-lime soda.
Why on earth are the Chiefs not using a spy on Hurts?
They shot it down over the ocean, bro.
Something something check the banner quote
The USAF shot it down with an F-22?
Player: “Throw the flag!”
Referee: “Right away, sir.”
Looks like Jalen got an Advil.
Hurts back to a solid +7.
Maybe Roll Damn Tide won’t have to bring in Tua after all
“OH! NOW DA CHIEFS ARE RAIDERING.”
“What if they both get to 30 at the same time, Greg?”
DiCaprio is turning the game off when it hits 25
“He gets so high in his pass rush”
Someone say sumthin’?
-L. Tunsil, Houston
4th and 5? Watch this!
That was a Tecmo Bowl Randall Cunningham flashback.
Lady Maestro: “[Nick Sirianni] looks like a crackhead who doesn’t know where the crack is.”
She’s not wrong!
Boston Scott jukin’ and jivin’!
“Everybody Hurts-after fumbling the football.”
-Stipe, trying to stay relevant on Mastodon
Nice show of balls by Hurts going right to the keeper after that Duketastrophe.
Chiefs are the new Redacteds
Yeah, while they were playing the chant I realized that since the Redacteds name change the Chiefs are now the most racist team in the league. Now I want to check if it says ‘END RACISM’ on their side of the field too
My wife and someone else at this party are talking about Emily in Paris, and everytime the other lady says “Benoit,” I say “balls,” and lady bfc is not happy about it.
I hear this Emily lady is still in Paris
I, too, follow Benoit Balls.
Well, it wasn’t pretty, but you have to commend the NFL on how quickly they can rewrite the game script to keep things close heading into the half!
WHOA MAMA
Lamar Hunt’s failson at least has good taste in courtesans
“Loose lips get Super Bowl trips.”
Thought that was someone doing Brent from Big Lebowski cosplay
Well. Fuck
Well damn
LOL. LMAO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDVp22DytbE&ab
Sudden change
The officials only called the false start because it was called out. And we got a TD on the replay. Fuck yeah!
Awww we missed out on a Fat Guy TD dammit
Welp – looks like someone pressed the “Bananacakes” button early.
We can haz SUDDEN CHANGE!?!
Oooh, that fumble Hurts
/shows self out
Oh Shit!
Iggles Fans
Hurts donut
Friend (who pointedly doesn’t care about football): so I thought I’d swing by the grocery store, thinking it’d be empty because of the game
Me: and you’re telling me this why?
Friend: because my dumb ass went to whole foods
Hole foods is useless. USELESS!
Not saying Rihanna looks weird, but all the Whos in Whoville just hid their shit.
Chris Brown can MOO, can you?
In the words of my brother:
“That is both racist and accurate “
Gentlemen, I have won the battle of attrition:
My dad finally got bored enough to put the wings in the airfryer
High five!
Where are you on the globe? I’ll vaguely swing my hand in that direction
In CA right now, but computer screen through the internet high five works!
I just waved west.
Again, refs still giving it to the eagles.
[after review]
Meh, not so much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woLQI8X2R6Y&ab_channel=pdx
That’s the AJ that occasionally scored enough points to help my Vodka League fantasy team not suck some weeks!
Rihanna’s hair looks like something out of Dr. Seuss in the promo.
FUCK I JUST GOT UP TO GET A BEER GOD DAMNIT AJ BROWN
What an adjustment
Shot that one like an F-22 and a Chinese balloon
Wow, beeyoutiful td!
That was Rex Grossman-esque! GOING DEEP
IGGLES WOO
Harrison Butker🤝🏻Scott Norwood🤝🏻Cody Parkey🤝🏻Gary Anderson🤝🏻Blair Walsh
With a $100 million price tag, including $20 million spent on two Super Bowl spots, He Gets Us is an initiative of the Servant Foundation. The foundation is managed by the Kansas-based foundation and donor-advised fund The Signatry.
So some sort of fancy cult like Scientology for the Midwest?
cant wait til He Get Us is converted into a porn series