Your All Glorious Superb Owl Open Thread

As Barry Manilow famously said, “Looks like we made it!” As with every season, t’was a tortuous route for all of us-we lost some some folks/fans but we gained some as well and learned something along the way. (I learned that I didn’t learn anything, which is a kind of learning)

Some Superb Owl Facts You May Not Know-

-The game was named by famous ornithologist John James Audubon who also named The Great Horned Owl on the very same day, the only man to name two species in a 24 hour period. The Germans were so impressed with this feat they named their highway system after him!

-Wacko Super Bowl truthers insist that Lamar Hunt named it after a kid’s toy. (thank heavens the Hunt kids weren’t playing with a Slinky) Actually, sports writers were calling it the Super Bowl back in 1966-Arthur Dailey, a columnist in New York called it ‘the superduper bowl’. It caught on quite easily, given that some of the competition out there at the time was The Bluebonnet Bowl, The Tangerine Bowl, The Sun Bowl and The Pasadena Bowl.

-The game has only been played in Canada-adjacent states three times-each time Michigan and Minnesota’s Labatt’s and Molson reservoirs came dangerously close to drying up. Lesson learned, America!

To The Game!

Chiefs/Eagles:

-Is there a betting line on Kadarius Toney getting hurt? Because he is going to get hurt. As far as other props go, I’d take a Justin Watson anytime TD at +700. You can take the Gatoraid prop and give yourself an enema with it.

-The only teams to record more than the Eagles 70 sacks are the ’89 Vikes (71) and the ’84 Bears (72).

-To offset that pressure look for K.C. to employ wr screens, jet sweeps and delayed screens to the running backs.

-Shoulder Responsibilities?: Hurts was an effective deep passer in the regular season but he is only 2 of 7 on passes of 20+ yards in the playoffs. (none of them for scores)

-Much like all at their position, Philly’s lb’s are overmatched vs Kelce. For that reason the team may turn to man fathered by a 19th century English manservant and birthed by an accountancy firm, one Chauncey Gardner-Johnson.

-The Chiefs run game on 1st down in the playoffs is a crapshoot. They’ve averaged 2.8 yards per carry so far.

-Hassan Reddick Feast Day: He’ll be lined up against Chiefs guard Andrew Wylie who has, bless his heart, very generously given up (9!) sacks so far this year.

-Philly nay-sayers have pointed out that the quality of teams they’ve played against isn’t exactly top-notch. Football Outsiders has their sked ranked as the easiest in the league by a good margin. And really, they’ve battled against the likes of Josh Johnson, One-Armed Purdy, Webb, Rush, Pickett, Mills, Heinicke and Dalton. Do those guys even qualify as ‘C’ level talent?

-“Tyreek, Who’s He?”: The Chiefs as a team had more yards after the catch than any squadoo in the last 15 years. Using the Expected Points Added metric, the offense became more efficient than it was last year.

-Mahomes’ EPA per pass play ranking vs zone? #1. Vs man? #1. Vs the blitz? #1. Vs no blitz? #1. Vs split safeties? #1. Vs single-high safeties? #2, like a sucker.

-No team has beaten the Chiefs by more than 4 points this year.

-K.C. likes to play press coverage and wr Brown ranks #1 there but he’s been quiet in the playoffs with 7 grabs (on 14 targets) for a mere 54 yards. He’s been open but Hurts has missed him.

-All things considered, I’m leaning towards them Chiefs. They appear to have huge advantages at qb and coach and Philly’s gaudy stats have come against questionable teams in questionable circumstances. But what do I know? Nothing.

Enjoy. Drop in and say hello if you haven’t recently, we’d love to hear from you.

 

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Doktor Zymm

Well, the Eagles have sort of scored 4 times to the Chiefs 1, it’s just that

Oh shit, ankle tackle

Beerguyrob

This game is already streets ahead of last year.

makeitsnowondem

Folks I just tested this one and it’s good:

Kansas City Ice Water
Shake 1 oz gin, 1 oz vodka, 1/2 oz triple sec, 1/2 oz lime juice, and strain into pint glass. Top with 3 oz lemon-lime soda.

Last edited 1 year ago by makeitsnowondem
Wakezilla

Why on earth are the Chiefs not using a spy on Hurts?

Porky Prime

They shot it down over the ocean, bro.

Brocky

Something something check the banner quote

Last edited 1 year ago by Brocky
LemonJello

The USAF shot it down with an F-22?

Redshirt

Player: “Throw the flag!”
Referee: “Right away, sir.”

The Maestro

Looks like Jalen got an Advil.

makeitsnowondem

Hurts back to a solid +7.

King Hippo

Maybe Roll Damn Tide won’t have to bring in Tua after all

Porky Prime

“OH! NOW DA CHIEFS ARE RAIDERING.”

oRr3j8hYB6AJ6yGT41yBH9VLmxeRVV-ObN8gIKK45Y0.jpg
Brocky

comment image

Beerguyrob

“What if they both get to 30 at the same time, Greg?”

Gatoraids

DiCaprio is turning the game off when it hits 25

Cecil Rhodes

“He gets so high in his pass rush”

Someone say sumthin’?

-L. Tunsil, Houston

Gumbygirl

4th and 5? Watch this!

Porky Prime

That was a Tecmo Bowl Randall Cunningham flashback.

The Maestro

Lady Maestro: “[Nick Sirianni] looks like a crackhead who doesn’t know where the crack is.”

King Hippo

She’s not wrong!

Gumbygirl

Boston Scott jukin’ and jivin’!

Porky Prime

Nice show of balls by Hurts going right to the keeper after that Duketastrophe.

Recovery Whiskey

Chiefs are the new Redacteds

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, while they were playing the chant I realized that since the Redacteds name change the Chiefs are now the most racist team in the league. Now I want to check if it says ‘END RACISM’ on their side of the field too

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My wife and someone else at this party are talking about Emily in Paris, and everytime the other lady says “Benoit,” I say “balls,” and lady bfc is not happy about it.

ThePirateSloth

comment image

Doktor Zymm

I hear this Emily lady is still in Paris

TheRevanchist

I, too, follow Benoit Balls.

Cecil Rhodes

Well, it wasn’t pretty, but you have to commend the NFL on how quickly they can rewrite the game script to keep things close heading into the half!

The Maestro

WHOA MAMA

King Hippo

Lamar Hunt’s failson at least has good taste in courtesans

Beerguyrob

“Loose lips get Super Bowl trips.”

Gatoraids

Thought that was someone doing Brent from Big Lebowski cosplay

Brocky

comment image

Spoiler

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litre_cola

Well. Fuck

Doktor Zymm

Well damn

Alex_Demote

LOL. LMAO

Spur
Recovery Whiskey

Sudden change

Last edited 1 year ago by Recovery Whiskey
TheRevanchist

The officials only called the false start because it was called out. And we got a TD on the replay. Fuck yeah!

ThePirateSloth

Awww we missed out on a Fat Guy TD dammit

Beerguyrob

Welp – looks like someone pressed the “Bananacakes” button early.

LemonJello

We can haz SUDDEN CHANGE!?!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oooh, that fumble Hurts

/shows self out

Porky Prime

Hurts donut

Brocky

Friend (who pointedly doesn’t care about football): so I thought I’d swing by the grocery store, thinking it’d be empty because of the game

Me: and you’re telling me this why?

Friend: because my dumb ass went to whole foods

TheRevanchist

Hole foods is useless. USELESS!

Fronkenshteen

Not saying Rihanna looks weird, but all the Whos in Whoville just hid their shit.

Porky Prime

Chris Brown can MOO, can you?

Brocky

In the words of my brother:

“That is both racist and accurate “

Brocky

Gentlemen, I have won the battle of attrition:

My dad finally got bored enough to put the wings in the airfryer

Doktor Zymm

High five!

Brocky

Where are you on the globe? I’ll vaguely swing my hand in that direction

Doktor Zymm

In CA right now, but computer screen through the internet high five works!

Brocky

I just waved west.

TheRevanchist

Again, refs still giving it to the eagles.

Doktor Zymm

That’s the AJ that occasionally scored enough points to help my Vodka League fantasy team not suck some weeks!

LongtimeLionsLoser

Rihanna’s hair looks like something out of Dr. Seuss in the promo.

The Maestro

FUCK I JUST GOT UP TO GET A BEER GOD DAMNIT AJ BROWN

litre_cola

What an adjustment

Recovery Whiskey

Shot that one like an F-22 and a Chinese balloon

Gumbygirl

Wow, beeyoutiful td!

LemonJello

That was Rex Grossman-esque! GOING DEEP

King Hippo

IGGLES WOO

Brocky

Harrison Butker🤝🏻Scott Norwood🤝🏻Cody Parkey🤝🏻Gary Anderson🤝🏻Blair Walsh

Recovery Whiskey

With a $100 million price tag, including $20 million spent on two Super Bowl spots, He Gets Us is an initiative of the Servant Foundation. The foundation is managed by the Kansas-based foundation and donor-advised fund The Signatry.

Doktor Zymm

So some sort of fancy cult like Scientology for the Midwest?

Gatoraids

cant wait til He Get Us is converted into a porn series