As Barry Manilow famously said, “Looks like we made it!” As with every season, t’was a tortuous route for all of us-we lost some some folks/fans but we gained some as well and learned something along the way. (I learned that I didn’t learn anything, which is a kind of learning)
Some Superb Owl Facts You May Not Know-
-The game was named by famous ornithologist John James Audubon who also named The Great Horned Owl on the very same day, the only man to name two species in a 24 hour period. The Germans were so impressed with this feat they named their highway system after him!
-Wacko Super Bowl truthers insist that Lamar Hunt named it after a kid’s toy. (thank heavens the Hunt kids weren’t playing with a Slinky) Actually, sports writers were calling it the Super Bowl back in 1966-Arthur Dailey, a columnist in New York called it ‘the superduper bowl’. It caught on quite easily, given that some of the competition out there at the time was The Bluebonnet Bowl, The Tangerine Bowl, The Sun Bowl and The Pasadena Bowl.
-The game has only been played in Canada-adjacent states three times-each time Michigan and Minnesota’s Labatt’s and Molson reservoirs came dangerously close to drying up. Lesson learned, America!
To The Game!
Chiefs/Eagles:
-Is there a betting line on Kadarius Toney getting hurt? Because he is going to get hurt. As far as other props go, I’d take a Justin Watson anytime TD at +700. You can take the Gatoraid prop and give yourself an enema with it.
-The only teams to record more than the Eagles 70 sacks are the ’89 Vikes (71) and the ’84 Bears (72).
-To offset that pressure look for K.C. to employ wr screens, jet sweeps and delayed screens to the running backs.
-Shoulder Responsibilities?: Hurts was an effective deep passer in the regular season but he is only 2 of 7 on passes of 20+ yards in the playoffs. (none of them for scores)
-Much like all at their position, Philly’s lb’s are overmatched vs Kelce. For that reason the team may turn to man fathered by a 19th century English manservant and birthed by an accountancy firm, one Chauncey Gardner-Johnson.
-The Chiefs run game on 1st down in the playoffs is a crapshoot. They’ve averaged 2.8 yards per carry so far.
-Hassan Reddick Feast Day: He’ll be lined up against Chiefs guard Andrew Wylie who has, bless his heart, very generously given up (9!) sacks so far this year.
-Philly nay-sayers have pointed out that the quality of teams they’ve played against isn’t exactly top-notch. Football Outsiders has their sked ranked as the easiest in the league by a good margin. And really, they’ve battled against the likes of Josh Johnson, One-Armed Purdy, Webb, Rush, Pickett, Mills, Heinicke and Dalton. Do those guys even qualify as ‘C’ level talent?
-“Tyreek, Who’s He?”: The Chiefs as a team had more yards after the catch than any squadoo in the last 15 years. Using the Expected Points Added metric, the offense became more efficient than it was last year.
-Mahomes’ EPA per pass play ranking vs zone? #1. Vs man? #1. Vs the blitz? #1. Vs no blitz? #1. Vs split safeties? #1. Vs single-high safeties? #2, like a sucker.
-No team has beaten the Chiefs by more than 4 points this year.
-K.C. likes to play press coverage and wr Brown ranks #1 there but he’s been quiet in the playoffs with 7 grabs (on 14 targets) for a mere 54 yards. He’s been open but Hurts has missed him.
-All things considered, I’m leaning towards them Chiefs. They appear to have huge advantages at qb and coach and Philly’s gaudy stats have come against questionable teams in questionable circumstances. But what do I know? Nothing.
Enjoy. Drop in and say hello if you haven’t recently, we’d love to hear from you.
Did you know: The game of football was invented at McGill University in Montreal circa 1870. The first game played across the border was with McGill vs. Harvard. Harvard liked it so well, they adopted the new Canadian game to fit their existing field which was smaller than the McGill field.
PHomes will have no memory of the second halves of the last two games of this season – thanks to THE GOOD SHIT
No shit. I want what Mahomes got!
Paul, you are literally associated with the band who’s to got the worst corporate image in the world
Chefs MVP
Funny thing is Mahomes was shit before he got re-injured. Opiates are JUST THAT MAGICAL
Great Google Moogly!
Well, fuck
…and Gint fans are extra pissed!
TONEY TONI TONE!
#FeelsGood
The Mahomes tongue things makes me nervous, the possibility that he gets hit at the wrong moment and accidentally chomps down on his own tongue scares me
Then he can sing like Mick Jagger, who bit the tip of his tongue off playing basketball as a kid.
If this turf gets any worse, they’ll have to rename it Flanders Field.
It’s never concerning when Germans notice the ethnic comparisons of others.
Or all start using the same arm salute
Ja
Why is Slash at a Chiefs Super Bowl viewing party in Germany?
Time for mahomes magic!
Ah, the age old challenge that has plagued humanity…
How do we grow grass?
They should lean in to the shitty turf and do a crossover game with the NHL’s Winter Classic
Mr. Grohl, THIS is how it’s done (heh, that got autocorrected to “Gronk”):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBrNRZcfXBg&themeRefresh=1
Narrator: “We’ve replaced the turf with the one from FedEx Field. Let’s see if people notice.”
The turf at Soldier is arguably worse, there’s been more than one game where I think they just spraypainted some dirt green
Will this end 31-30, or 35-34?
Yes
Speaking for the creators of South Park and 65% of DFO, FUCK CANADA
Meanwhile, Quebec’s over in the corner, chain-smoking, muttering about the Canadiens, and giving all of us the middle finger in Frenchy.
Fuck yo field.
havent seen a Field tear someone up like this since Sallys memoir on Burt Reynolds
Fox tried to get Lee Greenwood for the halftime show best they could get is the 3rd quarter
The infatuation with Lee Greenwood and “God Bless the USA” is something I will literally never understand as a Canadian.
I remember being on a high school band trip to NYC, and after a full day of sightseeing and performances, they put about seven eight high school groups together on a big boat to tour New York harbor and have a nighttime dance on the water. As the only Canadian contingent there, when literally the entire rest of the boat stopped, stood at attention, and belted out every single word… I was left with the impression that it was just a really elaborately crafted bit that we were just completely unaware of.
As a retired Marine, I hate that song with the fire of a thousand burning nuns.
Wife, USN ( retired) I hate it too!
Like you were an extra in high school musical and your group didn’t get the memo?
Dave, I do not join your Canadian fandom
Gah, I was gonna start cheering for Nick Bolton, but he spells Nick with a ‘k’. Ugh.
Is 6 the most dangerous lead in American football
Sorry, Litre
THE NARRATOR MUST BE SATED
For today, fuck him.
I meant because that field goal cost him $125 in Sharky’s pool
Good
Temu app: boring, full of dumb bullshit that nobody cares about
Teemu app: only popular in Anaheim and Winnipeg for some reason but sells tons of insanely cool Euro hockey shit
It took until 2023 for teams to realize having 3 timeouts in the Super Bowl 4tQ is important?
Fuck outta here
Hahahahaha suck it Andy Reid!
ANDY REID CHALLENGE BIFF PROP BET
He was right. The refs gave it away.
challenge bib?
I’d think shopping like a billionaire would be much more about having other people do the shopping for you, but not a billionaire, so don’t know.
Halftime show messing with the 2nd half and a showcase of Lawyerball at its finest. I’ll take Owls like these over the blowouts back when it was REEL FITBOW
BOUGHT
In my NFL, that’s a catch. In Lawyer-ball NFL, it’s not a catch because the second foot didn’t stick with blah blah blah stuff
Finally a good commercial
The gal in the Bud Light ad
Bud Light is fermented pee
How do you know what fermented pee tastes like
We’ve all been there
WHAT IS A CATCH: STAB YOURSELF IN THE EYE BUGALOO
So Reid gets to look at the replay and then decide whether or not he’s challenging, after they ran another play?
Sucks, doesn’t it?
the grass is part of TEH NFL SKIRPT
That is purer horseshit than anything that ever came out of Seabiscuit
Same shit, different week.
Hippo say CATCH
Probably been said already, but, damn nice to see yinz here, Porky.
DON’T BE A STRANGER; I’LL TAKE A SHOWER IF NEED BE
Danke, mein herr. Life’s good.
I too, am happy to see our resident motel hell enthusiast
“discombobulated”
DRINK
Should’ve been caught
Pop Quez, hot shot
It’s like they wanted the field to injure the first two black qbs to face off in SB history. Oh, we’re in Arizona, you say?
…anybody seen D*n Sn*der in the area recently?
Are Boston and Dallas the only two cities represented by the first names of Eagles players?
Houston, Big Beaver, and Walla Walla are on IR.
Gardner, MA and Gardner, PA
Damn, you can see the grass disintegrate in real time
Its a special blend: Danny Snyder Shitshow.
This field is pure ass
/Balls sweats profusely
The Arizona turf is as solid as their vote counts.
Refs still trying to give the Eagles the game. Fuck the refs!
AND NOW BECAUSE WE HATE YOU HERE IS A NEW EPISODE OF WHAT THE FUCK IS A CATCH
THE HATE INTENSIFIES
I’d say set in Chicago but the bears are not aware that the forward pass is a thing so can’t be them