Today is Ash Wednesday, which means absolutely nothing in the DFO lexicon in our infinite unwashed massitude. BLEERGH knows no Ash Wednesday and Boltman’s Ash Wednesday is just called Wednesday. Actually, there’s no distinction in the day of the week and the ashes of burnt femurs, all days are equal to Boltman.
Anyway, we got music! For today, let’s go with the Classical genre of tombeau. Well first off, what is a tombeau? A tombeau is a genre of musical composition that commemorates the death of an individual. And to the extent I know of Lent it’s Jeebus-death related, so fuck it, it counts as a perfectly cromulent musical theme for the day.
The first one I’d say I think of is Ravel’s Le tombeau de Couperin, named for French composer and keyboardist François Couperin (1668-1733), but written in the memory of six composer friends (okay, seven, one movement is for a pair of brothers) who had died in World War I.
And if we’re going to talk tombeaus, whether it was or it wasn’t, but fuck if I’m not gonna give myself a chance to talk about the Chaccone.
What we do know is that Bach came back to Köthen and Maria Barbara Bach, his first wife, had passed. I haven’t done the math and intricacies of the Chaccone and seen if any tombeau puzzle stuff works out. That’s not my future DMA paper, though I guess I could potentially take a section of it as proof of concept before working into the meat of it. Also regardless I’d have to expand on the 15 pages or so I wrote for a paper I wrote during my Master’s. Anyway, I could go on about the Sonatas and Partitas, and at some point, believe me, I will.
But not today.
What’s the news?
QAARON’S QAVE WATCHQ: Aaron Rodgers has emerged from his darkness retreat and predicted six more weeks of winter. Okay, no news so far. What, you think he’s gonna choose to spend more time with his family?
Speaking of family, David Carr on Derek’s free agency: It’s “going to be a long process.”
Brock Purdy had swelling in his elbow, delaying his UCL surgery to March.
Seahawks re-sign OG Phil Haynes to a one-year deal.
On the other hand, Titans had to do some cap stuff, cutting OT Robert Lewan, WR Robert Woods, LB Zach Cunningham, and K Randy Bullock.
Notable favorite assistant coach name Jim Bob Cooter to be the Colts’ OC.
Chargers DC Renaldo Hill to join Vic Fangio in Miami. Source says it’s to be the Dolphins’ defense pass-game coordinator. (Secondary coach Derrick Ansley will become the LAC DC.)
Longtime college coach Willie Taggart to join the Ravens as RB coach.
Do you like miked-up QBs? Well Netflix has a show for you, following Marcus Mariota, Kirk Cousins, and Patrick Mahomes through the 2022 season, called Quarterback.
Former RB and one-time Madden cover player (yes, that did happen) Peyton Hillis is expected to make a full recovery after he helped rescue people (including a family member) from drowning back in January. He had been on a ventilator at one point.
What about sports?
Puckball
Chi**** vs. Debbie Does (CHI vs. DAL, 9:30, TNT)
No varsity, but JV Baskety
Providence Plantations vs. Horatios (Providence vs. UConn, in progress, FS1)
Noted F-Zero Stage Big Blue vs. Swamp Cats (Kentucky vs. Florida, 7:00, ESPN)
Not the Court of Owls vs. Whatever a Bearcat is (Temple vs. Cincinnati, 7:00, ESPN2)
The Butler Did It vs. #DePauls (Butler vs. DePaul, 8:30, FS1)
W/NC vs. The Bells, Bells, Bells (UNC vs. Notre Dame, 9:00, ESPN)
#2 Fightin’ Not-Sabans vs. Heh, Cocks (Alabama vs. South Carolina, 9:00, ESPN2)
Pretty lean day, so I guess it’ll be a chill out and talk to your friends day.
Playlist night!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzHmXaUSL6o&list=RDzzHmXaUSL6o&start_radio=1
To supplement Gumby Gurls blimp contribution on the previous thread
So much for that blow up doll I bought last weekend.
Don’t ever be an animal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4-L2nfGcuE
That eagle is Ricky’d.
Fucking hell why did I turn this on in the middle of a snowstorm?
The winds were twice as brisk last night. She couldn’t sleep.
That’s Jackie. She tries her best to be a good mom, but she and her mate Shadow have had some bad luck with their eggs. They did have a healthy baby last year. I’ve seen her way more covered in snow, she hangs in there!
Okay, according the NightBot that keeps commenting on the livestream these eagles can handle these conditions just fine. If they couldn’t they wouldn’t live in Big Bear, would they?
They live primarily in Alaska. Big Bear is not a challenge for them.
Click this link at your own peril:
https://fb.watch/iSEuMfMK-5/
That dude rules. You could link the YouTube video here though.
I wanted to but I couldn’t find it.
Aha!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyhfQYHnJuM
Apparently I didn’t try very hard.
Actually, I put forth very little effort and yet somehow succeeded wildly. That, in short, is the story of my life.
This was also fascinating
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCFdBsVD8NI
THIS TINY ADJUSTABLE WRENCH I CALL IT BRETT FAVRE’S PENIS BECAUSE IT’S APPROXIMATELY THE SAME SIZE AS THE NUT.
This was the first one I somehow stumbled upon:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH5gkQGTNfw
That is what we call, pole vaulting over mouse turds. Superior skills there, but I would just run down to Tru Value and pay up.
It’s not really the functionality as it is the film making skill.
Futurama as an 80’s SF film. They got Bender perfect.
https://youtu.be/HRUuuxjrAfc
That is really fucking good!
I really liked Lela, Farnsworth, and Hermes.
I also liked the way the armor and clothes looked like a cross between the movies Masters of the Universe and Flash Gordon.
It was really good
Every Sillycuse site that I follow is doing a “Knives Out” tribute to the team in the comment section.
.
But that’s not the same, we made Him BETTER smh
“Thanks you, tax-cutting, assault rifle-totin’ PATROIT Jesus for finding America from the heathen commies and terrorists on 9/11!”
— Lauren Boebert’s next youtube short
“Why would you let anyone do that to you?” B. Parcells
Are dudes wearing crop tops coming back into style?
Oh my god… that’s Buddy Cole’s music!!!
You know it!
as someone that is almost all torso thus most shirts are short on me, it will be nice to be in fashion again.
from ashy, to classy
I’m from a little town called none of your goddamn business.
There’s only one proper way to celebrate Ash Wednesday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrZwFAvlmVY
Hail to the King, baby.
Give some sugar, baby
Ash Wednesday special
We’re watching the national news and first thought the President had a bruise on his forehead, until we remembered it was Ash Wednesday. Lapsed Catholics!
I saw a nurse (we were vising my old boss; he’s in rehab for a stroke) with the mark on her forehead and it took about five seconds or so for the lightbulb to go off.
How many Polish guys did it take to fix it?
As a Pollack, I can assure it only five this time.
UConn just whipped Providence by 18 or 19 on Senior and $2 beer night.
Stay off the roads in the northeast for the next little while.
There are two reasons I’m happy to hear about Peyton Hillis making a full recovery. The first is that it would have been awful if any human being were rewarded for their heroism with death/disability. The second is that now whenever we want to make jokes about drowning we can invoke his name without feeling bad about it.
What kind of wood doesn’t float?
Natalie Wood.
See? Easy!
Loved this post. This is where the “It’s culture you fucks!” tag gets handy.
The only tombeau I know is “My old gray mare she ain’t what she used to be”.
In the spirit of a tombeau.
As opposed to “it’s Culture Beat you fucks!” which is what Daniel Jones yells at his teammates every time Mr. Vain plays on the stereo and someone asks if it’s by C&C Music Factory.
Speaking of Comedians Part Two: Bamford talking about her mother-who was always on a Weight Watcher’s plan-finally hitting her goal weight after being cremated. I’d tell you where the exact spot is but I tried once and? Whatever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0sfBmVMT_Q&ab_channel=MythicalKitchen
I just had those same Brussel sprouts. Fucking outstanding.
Speaking of comedians Part One:
/wife is explaining to me why she’s washing rocks (that she has collected around the world) in the sink for an artsy project that she has planned
Me: “That’s cool. When are you going to wash the dishes?”
Her: “You. Fucking. Asshole.”
This is why the Northern Ontario police are baffled by this latest spike homeless disappearances this week.
They just showed the UConn women rooting on the men against Providence. You could see two of them, just surrounded by a bunch of drunks.
Did I mention it’s Senior Night and UConn is selling Miller Lite for $2? Because they are. And it’s sleeting out. This seems like an atrocious idea.
I feel like if you own an auto body shop it’s a fantastic idea.
If I did plaintiff’s work or DUI defense I’d be standing outside the arena right now handing out business cards.
I got offered tickets to see comedian Bill Burr.
I don’t keep up with this stuff anymore (the last great stand-up was Norm MacDonald and he’s dead) so I really don’t know who this is.
Should I like or hate this guy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaLTWW_yEG4&t=3s
You won’t regret it.
The last great standup is Maria Bamford. The end.
Taylor Tomlinson just put a good special. ‘Look At You’, on Netflix.
Saw the latest Jim Jeffries one as well, ‘High & Dry’ and let’s just say it is not his best work.
I like Tomlinson, will have to check that out when I eventually return to Netflix.
It’s very funny.
Burr can be very funny interspersed with bits that should have been left backstage. he’s definitely not as good as he used to be.
I can see him leaning into Dennis Miller territory because he’s a contrarian.
Burr’s still funny, which is the main difference.
I’m just saying that Burr’s act is not going to age well. Just a prediction.
Yeah, I don’t disagree. His stand up is already not comparing well to his earlier stuff. I do notice he seems to be transitioning to more acting roles. Probably not a coincidence.
You should love him he’s the best.
“Welp, they came up there…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8b81UM74Ow
For me, Burr kind of stays just on the right side of the line between being enjoyable and being one of those annoying “boy you can’t say nothin’ no more” assholes. To be clear, I don’t find the latter type of comedian offensive, just boring.
Gee. I’ve been listening to tombeau’s & didn’t even know it. (might be a request line subject in there somewhere)
Thanks for the insight, Sr. Weaselo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf8u6thqGA8
Fun fact: Jim Carroll is now one of the people referenced in the song.
Yup, died writing at his desk…
pretty bad ass
Clemson vs Sillycuse is my favorite form of orange on orange action.
My ACCNetwork feed has been frozen for about 8 minutes now.
No, that’s just ACC basketball these days.
It’s always been a Dolly Parton league (top-heavy with UNC and Duke usually at the top) but those two teams struggling is absolutely wonderful this time around.
Great work linking Ash Wednesday and BOLTMAN!
In other news, the KC Karens are on the march. Sheesh. Whatta bunch of killjoys.
“However, it is completely unnecessary to let Chiefs players drink during the Super Bowl parade. It should not have been allowed by coach Andy Reid and the team’s ownership for some very good reasons.”
Read more at: https://www.kansascity.com/opinion/letters-to-the-editor/article272322418.html#storylink=cpy
Because it might remind everyone of how shitty of a father Andy Reid is?
But enough about what happens to the people inside a car that Britt Reid rear-ends.
/actually this should be a Henry Ruggs joke but since he’s a (former) player for a franchise I root for in his case I am obligated to assign blame to the victim somehow.
Great graphic, but the guy on fire looks like Britt Reid – not a 5 year old child.
On the one hand, a bunch of players getting loaded after winning their team’s championship is a time-honored tradition, and I assume they have designated drivers on standby.
On the other hand you’re a year removed from one of your assistant coaches (and son of the head coach, which I’m sure is just a coincidence) getting loaded on booze and pills and seriously injuring a child.
Like Nigeria, KC championship celebrations are a land of contrasts.
And like Narnia, the things that happen in them are scripted!
You’ve got a point concerning Britt and his shitbaggery. On the other hand, C’MON MAN.
Also, the letters I read\scanned that were screeching about the drink fueled revelry didn’t even mention Britt, but were more along the lines of:
“I’ll think of the children.” – Marc Trestman
“I am not a crackpot.”
She’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before she recognizes Mizzourah.