Sexy Friday – 20230310

TGIF! We’ve made it to the important part of March: Selection Sunday. Hope everyone got their time off requests submitted and approved for next week. Also, DST is this weekend for those that celebrate. And change those batteries in your smoke detectors.

Survival – Personal Edition

For those of us not currently buried in snow or enduring an atmospheric river, spring is basically here. Which means it’s time to hit the high seas with our decadent yachts. Unfortunately, the seas also contain many dangers. Today, we’re covering pirates. Here’s how to survive an attack.

• Take evasive action. Change directions abruptly, increase speed, and head towards shore.
• Make your situation known to other ships in the area. Use VHF channel 16 to send a distress signal and your location. Shore based rescue services need as much advanced warning as possible to assist.
• Secure access to the ship. Attach rat guards to mooring lines and lock all doors and hatches.
• Spray water on the deck to make it slippery, focusing on areas where boarding is easiest. Keep pressure in the water lines for use to repel the pirates when onboard.
• Confuse the pirates with a light and sound show. Shine bright lights at them when they’re trying to board. Blast the horn and fire off rocket signals to alert nearby ships. In dire situations, consider training flares at the pirates directly.
• Ok, you’ve done your song and dance, but you’ve been boarded. Just cooperate at this point. Give them what they want and get them off your ship as quickly as possible. Do not escalate, and do not try to use weapons. You are most likely out gunned.

Congrats! You survived a pirate attack. Hopefully without reaching that last step. But, you may be protesting, that’s not fair! How can I avoid a pirate attack? Great news, I have some helpful tips on that front too!

• Appear busy. Have crew members constantly moving about the ship in viewable areas. Enough activity may appear to the pirates that you’re not only aware of their presence, but you’re prepared for them.
• Throw out that patrol schedule. You don’t want the pirates to pick up on a scheduled patrol. Vary it up and make sure that variance isn’t repetitive.
• Do not skimp on the night patrol. Most pirate attacks are between 01:00 and 06:00 hours. Make sure you’re covered during those hours with a particular focus on the stern.
• Stay in contact with authorities on the shore and nearby vessels. Each of you will be able to communicate sightings and dangers nearby.
• Make your ship look undesirable to pirate. Remove anything valuable from the decks. Keep the deck well lit. Also use overside lights to keep the water around the ship illuminated.

Ok, that’s the end of today’s pirate lessons. Stay alert, stay safe, and enjoy yachting.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!