Good morning folks!

Welcome back on our whirlwind world-wide culinary adventure known as Sunday Gravy.

Many thanks to brother TAJ for filling in last week. Trust me, you WANT to make those lumpia he shared with y’all. You really do.

Of course it’s been raining like a motherfucker this weekend and it’s been goddamn frigid for the last 4 months or so. HOWEVER; It’s tournament week! And Saint Patrick’s Day week! And holy fucking shit today is Selection Sunday AND Oscar night! That’s a full goddamn slate right there. Fuck the rain I’m staying inside and cooking this entire weekend anyway so fuck you Mother Nature!

Did I take this coming Friday the 17th off to enjoy the first round of games and the Irish observance at it’s highest level? Bet your sweet goddamn ASS I did. Best 3 day weekend of the year.

Enough of this preamble shit! We’ve got gravy to make!

Today we’re taking another foray into a region of the US rather familiar to my family, that I can now personally say, I will never step foot in again.

The US South.

Yes though my family hails from Louisiana, Texas and Oklahoma and the South plays large in a shitload of the recipes I cook – you’ve seen quite a few of them up in here now, haven’t you? – despite all that I can clearly state that as far as their politics and politicians go? Fuck the South! Fuck them with a radioactive armadillo dick. The kind of dick that works like those finger cuffs and refuses to allow you to remove them. I fucking despise that holier than thou evangelical Christian Right horseshit with a raging fucking passion.

It’s exactly that bullshit that has me eyeing an exit route and leaving this motherfucking country once and for all when I retire.

Yet? The food can be goddamn tasty.

Which is where I come in. Imma show you how to do this shit at home for your own family and you won’t have to visit Georgia or Arkansas or some other inbred, backwater, hillbilly, cousin-fucking state just to get your Southern food fix.

You are very welcome.

If you’ve been paying attention to this seasons Sunday Gravy you’re probably noticing a kind of theme going. Hearty, rich, decadent food that warms the soul. That’s a goddamn fact! This is the time of year when I get to make full use of the oven for some serious slow cooked goodness that fills the belly and warms the soul.

It’s been cold as a motherfucker out there, man.

As the seasons change you’ll also notice a change in the menus I prepare based exclusively on the time of year that it’s prepared.

Still cold outside? Hefty, filling, delicious goodness. Today is a perfect example.

We’re making Southern Style Smothered Pork Chops in a delicious, rich, cream gravy.

You’re going to want this friends. Yes, indeed. You’re going to want this BAD.

No time like the present to get going neither.

The act of smothering a protein is a very southern cooking technique that involves a hunk of meat covered and smothered with a warm delicious gravy along with other savory elements for enhanced flavor.

In fact, we’ve done smothered steak right up in this here motherfucker before!

And don’t that look delicious though?

Since we’ve covered steak I thought we could try an entirely different smothering technique and use it to smother us some goddamn pork chops.

Know what’s become really hard to find at the grocery store?

Thick-ass bone-in pork chops. The fuck is up with that man?!

I was able to track some down but of course they were marked up like a motherfucker.

This is “Duroc” pork and it’s known for its marbling, full body flavor – you can actually taste pork – and its reddish hue. Duroc pigs are generally raised cage-free because they’re the least dickish of the breeder hogs so they get a little leniency prior to being shot in the head with a bolt and gutted on the kill room floor.

Tasty!

Yes, of course it’s more expensive than standard pork but it’s mighty fucking delicious.

Let’s get it ready for action. Let the pork chops come up to room temperature, remove from its packaging, give a rinse and fully pat dry with some paper towels.

Simple prep today. Season ’em up with some essence…

and a little salt and black pepper.

We’ll sauté the chops in butter and olive oil for this preparation. Equal amounts. Say 1 tablespoon of each.

A non-stick pan will do fine for today’s action since the chops will be finishing in the gravy. Makes clean-up a bit easier too.

The pork will also be cooked with a finished coating of Panko breadcrumbs.

Season the chops first though.

It’s usually around this point when you see the pork seasoned and ready to party that your brain begins to think “Oh shit! This could be really fucking good!”

It will be.

Dredge the seasoned chops in a pan with about 1/2 cup of seasoned flour, followed by a dredge in an egg mixture (1 egg slightly beaten with a splash of whole milk) followed by panko, also about 1/2 cup. Reserve the unused flour for the gravy.

Into the skillet the pork will go, over medium heat. About 5 minutes per side.

While the chops are browning, dice up an onion. Fine dice please. While you’ve got the cutting board out go ahead and mince up some fresh garlic, 3-4 cloves will work.

Let’s check on those chops.

Fuck me. Hell yes you want to get after that right fucking now but trust me, you’ll want to put them in a 200 degree oven while we make our gravy. The chops will then finish cooking in the gravy.

Shit yes that looks delicious. 

Next add those onions to the pan drippings.

Cook until tender. Seven-eight minutes or so? Then add in the garlic just until aromatic.

Now mince up some fresh thyme. We want the herbage to stand on it’s own.

Dump some of that reserved flour and the minced thyme back in the pan to get the roux started.

Then we add in 3/4 cups of heavy cream and 1/2 cup of chicken stock. Reserve some additional chicken stock in case you need to thin the gravy out a bit. Keep the leftover flour available in case you thin it out too much. I like to start my gravy really thick and then slowly thin it down to my preferred consistency. It’s a hell of a lot easier then starting with a thin sauce and trying to thicken. This will taste less “floury” too.

Shit damn! Gravy time! Give it a taste and season with salt and pepper as needed.

When the gravy thickens get that pork back up in that pan.

/drools

Now THAT’S a goddamn proper hot tub!

Get that gravy on both sides! Both sides. Don’t give me that one-sided shit now.

Damn.

Next make some rice.

Of course you could mash some potatoes, cook up some noodles or serve along with some fresh biscuits but I really felt hungry for rice and gravy.

You fine people who have had rice and gravy know what the fuck I’m talking about.

Plate that shit up!

Oh fucking shit hell yes.

This is damn wonderful. That pork is perfectly cooked, the gravy is rich, hearty, decadent, savory with those notes of thyme, onion and garlic singing right through. And that rice and gravy?

Fuck me. You could just make a meal out of that rice and gravy!

Something else you could consider would be trying different proteins. Smothering some fried chicken in this shit? Now you’re thinking proper! You could cook some pounded thin steak in here too. Try comparing today’s technique to the one we used for that smothered steak up there. Very different approaches but both delicious.

Now you see? You don’t have to be some bibled-up right wing, racist fucking asshole to do proper southern style food! You just need to find proper folks to teach you.

While not exactly proud of my family roots, I am mighty goddamn proud of my southern food influences and I’m most proud that I got the living FUCK out of the South before it turned into the shithole that it currently is.

Figured that shit out real early too.

And there we are!

A really tasty, simple dish that will fill that void in your belly and satisfy your heathen soul.

That’s the good shit right there.

I appreciate you good folks. I really do.

You keep reading, and I’ll keep cooking.

Deal?

Sounds good.

Thanks for stopping by everyone. Let’s do this again next week, what do you say?

Until then…

PEACE!