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I don’t know how Irish you are, but if you wanted to celebrate drinking as much as possible, wouldn’t you pair up the kickoff of the Australian Football League season with St. Patrick’s Day?  Because that’s what is happening TODAY/started this morning and continues into the wee hours and beyond!  Oh, and also March Madness, I suppose, but I DGAF about that. So let’s talk Aussie Footy.

Carlton hosted Richmond very early this morning, and then the festivities start accelerating late tonight/early tomorrow morning with Geelong at Collingwood at 3:40AM DFO time on 3/17, the Roos at the Eagles at 9:45PM DFO time on the same day, and then a shitload happening on 3/18, including my Giants at Adelaide at 9:10PM DFO time.

And how will the 2023 season go?

WOOOOOOOO GWS GIANTS ALL THE WAY!!!!!

Is what I would say if I were still a naive yank watching AFL for the first, second, or third time after choosing my favorite side.  But as a GWS backer since 2017 (with a LOT of free hats from the club), I’ve learned a thing or two, especially with all the changes this offseason. Oh, and perhaps my view is somewhat colored by the no-longer-an-expansion franchise’s history of final positions on the ladder:

That chart courtesy of a GWS fan Redditor, and that’s honestly the best place for me to get news about my team. I’m not nearly as self-loathing/wallowing a Giants fan as I am with the Bears and Cubs, so I’ll still enjoy and give the new look Giants all my support. Let’s dig into the changes–

TRADED AWAY:

• Tim Taranto and Jacob Hopper
  • There go a 24 and 25 year old that have been absolute stars for GWS now playing for Richmond
• Bobby Hill (not that one) to Collingwood
• Tanner Bruhn to Geelong

RETIRED:

• Matt DeBoer

DELISTED:

• Jarrod Brander (never heard of him)
• Will Shaw
• Zach Sproule
• Jake Stein

ACQUIRED:

• A SHITLOAD of draft picks led to Forward Aaron Cadman (First overall pick), Mid/Forward Harry Rowston (16th), Mid/Forward Darcy Jones (21st), Swingman Max Gruzewski (22nd), and Mid/Forward Toby McMullin (34th)
• Category B Selections backup Ruck Nick Madden and Utility Player/ Milk Enthusiast Jason Gillbee
• Someone called a Toby Bedford

There’s also something about former captain and V for Vendetta mask model Phil Davis being “re-rookied,” but not gonna lie, I have no idea what that means.  I just hope he’s fully recovered, because he, Sam Taylor, and Nick Haynes make as solid a defensive combo as any I’ve seen in this league.

I’m not going to go all Samson or anything, but I don’t take it to be a good sign when Harry Himmelberg, one of the team’s best tall forwards rather than a nazi propaganda protagonist, goes from looking like Thor to looking like Thor: Ragnarock plus an earring.

2022:

2023:

Harry, btw, was the Giants’ third leading goal scorer last season despite the “caretaker” manager moving him from forward to the back line (and the ruck and whatever the hell else the team needed during whatever the fuck last year was).  Oh, and there’s no guarantee he stays with the team after this season, given the interest from Adelaide.

The big change, of course, is new head coach Adam Kingsley.  Leon Cameron stepped down during last season’s campaign after 9 years at the helm, only the second coach this franchise had ever known (if I’m reading wikipedia correctly).

Coach Kingsley, from whom there was a lovely note included in the membership package, has brought in a whole new staff, traded away a few great players (not his fault; the whole “requesting a trade to return home” thing of Aussie footy is still fucking weird to me), and is implementing his own philosophy to build a sustained winning culture in Canberra.  He told Lachie Whitfield he’ll be at halfback all season, avoiding the moving around that was so common last year (see above re: Himmelberg). The players seem bought in

In GWS’s preseason rout of Gold Coast, my takeaways were that they still have a tendency to start games slow and play down to competition, but their speed and skill puts them in contention in just about any game. Ruckwork, penalties, and injuries will likely be the major risks, and needing to let the kids mature while everyone learns a new system.  This isn’t a wooden spoon contender, but probably not a finals contender either. At least not yet.

Who will be there at the end, making it to the Grand Final? Some experts–including the AFL captains themselves–seem to think Geelong is poised to make a run at defending their title, but there’s also a LOT of chatter about Melboure and Brisbane. Maybe I’m biased, but given that Richmond added two young stars from GWS and gets Dusty Martin back full strength, I don’t see how they aren’t a top 4 contender.

That’s one of the (many many) great things about Aussie Footy–even more than the NFL, every game is up for grabs, and anyone could win the whole flipping thing.  Look back at the GWS chart from above; an expansion team took the wooden spoon its first two years and then by year four of its existence was a legit contender almost every season.

As a result, I’m sure others are interested in what else is on tonight, and yes, there will be NBA, NHL, and amateur basketball games on, but I’d remind all of you that for like $130 you can become an overseas member of virtually any AFL team and get access to ALL the AFL and AFLW games all season long, live and on demand. (GWS membership link here if you want to back the Orange). So I’ll be watching the Carlton-Richmond game tonight (hence not mentioning/looking up the score for this post), and I’ll leave it to Dick Vitale to deal with the diaper dandies and such.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN