Sexy Friday – 20230317

TGIF! Happy St. Patrick’s Day! And if you survived yesterday, then Happy Bracket Busted day! We got a ton of JV baskets ball, lesser footy, racing, and hockey this weekend. Let’s get to it!

Survival – Personal Edition

Perhaps you’re not the type to sit around and watch sports all day. Perhaps you’re the type that actually gets out of the house. And perhaps you’re the type to try some fast exciting sport, like street luge. Bad news, you’re going to crash at some point. Good news, I can get you prepared for that.

• Get safety gear. You’ll need a helmet, full leathers, elbow pads, knee pads, spine pad, good gloves.
• Now then, on to the crashing and testing of your safety gear. Stay on your board even if it’s broke. The board can be useful in taking some of the force from an impact. Do not try to grab passing objects unless you don’t care about your wrists, shoulder, or elbow joints. Do not drag your legs unless you don’t care about your hip, knee, or ankle joints or whether your leg bones stay in one piece. Just keep your feet on the pegs and your hands on the handles. If your board has brakes, try to use them now.
• If in the process of crashing you do get separated from your board, slide on your back with your feet pointed downhill and your toes pointed up. This is what the spine pad is for. Do not roll unless you want to do significant damage to your hands, wrists, elbows and knee joints.
• While sliding spread your arms out at 45 degree angles, palms down on the road surface. This friction, while it will destroy your gloves (but hey, that’s what they’re for), will help to slow you down and also give you the ability to control your direction. More pressure on the right hand will move you right and the left hand will move you left. Assuming you don’t encounter any obstacles you’ll slide about 200 feet.
• If you’re going to hit an obstacle, make it is feet first. Before impact, slightly bend your knees to absorb the force. Make sure your toes are still pointed up. You want to hit the obstacle with the balls of your feet, not your heels unless you don’t care about your feet and ankles staying in one piece.

There, you survived your street luge wreck and still have all limbs not only still attached, but still functional. Now go replace all that safety gear, fix or replace your board, and get back out there!

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!