Finally, mercifully, we’ve almost reached the end. Only a couple more greasy gutters into which we must dip our collective fingers. Week 25 is upon us and according to the league webpage this will be the last night of regular play and then there will be some sort of “roll-off” to cap things off.
We’re still stuck in second-last with 23 points. That’s 36 back of the leaders and somehow 14 up on the league standings caboose. I tried to explain to Lily Liver that it was impossible for us to slide into last place in hopes of some booby prize but after 5 minutes and a drawing I gave up. I don’t know how he gets his taxes finished every year with that tenuous grasp of basic mathematics.
Last week we played with three of our four members, with the lady member staying home and her husband bringing their 9-year-old son. The son somehow thought he was going to bowl but with his average of 31 (I’ve seen him roll a full-game 7) he is the rare individual who would not improve our chances.
His disappointed antics didn’t help much, either, but it was better than having to watch that axe murder play out on our lane for three straight games. Probably contravenes league bylaws, anyway.
Game one started off pretty well for us. I had a decent game and led the way with a 146 while my compatriots barely scraped over 100. We ended up 39 points short of the opposing team. I can’t for the life of me remember any of them possessing a single interesting characteristic save that they can beat us at bowling.
Game two was a hammer to the coccyx. 77 points, shortness of breath and a nasty bruise. Something like that. It was ugly.
Game three? Who could care any less? Not this bowler. Only 32 points short and we were sent on our way with nothing but the dirty underwear we walked in with to keep us warm. I’m at a loss trying to describe another losing bowling game.
I guess it was fun though. The waitress is very cute and the beer is good enough.
Maybe I’ll just get a sprite next time.
Or maybe I’ll shove my own bowling ball down my throat and sing show tunes until they drag me away to a nice farm with lots of warm milk and no flies in my food.
It’s too nice out to think about that. I’d rather be raking wasp nests naked than take any more league play but I’m determined to get through this and by golly I’m going to do it. Wish us luck and enjoy the movie of the week.
Watched T2 this evening for about the hundredth time. Here’s a little something for our resident royalty.
Great film.
The pain is real
Mike Trout finally got to play some meaningful beisbol and he struck out when it mattered. You hate to see it.
Meaningful, eh? I’m sure he dreamed of winning the Westinghouse Broth Challenge as a child.
He does look as though he’s been tasting a bit of beef broth lately, among other beef products.
But Shohei Ohtani got to play some meaningful baseball too, and he delivered!
The Dirt Chargers will still finish 15 games below .500 which is actually impressive in a way.
Who are the Dirt Chargers now that they aren’t in San Diego? Anaheim?
I thought they were gonna be good.
This is called “high concept.” You could make an entire B-movie based solely on this caption.
Truly a missed 2005 Rob Schneider vehicle.
As entertaining as the World Cup of beisball has been, I can’t help but wonder what happened to Canada’s talent? We used to have several decent major leaguers. I think we fielded nothing but no name minor leaguers.
I imagine they couldn’t handle the shame of going pro in something other than hockey.
Curling is okay.
I wanna try curling
They maxed out their world cup appearances this year.
Jason Bay was one of the ten decent Dirt Stillers of the last 30 years.
Citizens of the various nations of Mexico are taking all the jerbs!
Here’s a new one for me at the community college. Before helping a student, I need them to send me their stuff on MS Teams because I don’t want to touch their laptop. Despite me messaging the student I was working with, they weren’t getting the message. So I go over to help them out and realize that she was using her personal email: slutsosexy with some numbers at the end, at Gmail. I think I have an idea of how she’s paying for her schooling. Respect.
How’re we doing tonight?
Were the numbers 6 and 9?
You need to come up with a NICE trophy pic for whenever we crown the NIT champs.
You mean when my Blazers win the NIT?
We need letterman jackets with “We’re 69th” for clubhouse members with an NIT trophy. GumbyGirl’s looking to pledge this year.
I hate it when I forget to log out of my sexy slut account before a work call.
I know!
Wait, is that “slut-so-sexy” or “sluts-o-sexy” which I presume is some kind of Irish strip joint.
Why the fuck isn’t it September already?
Considering it’s still in the minuses with snoUw in Calgary, September can fuck right off at the moment.
Oh yeah, be a few feet deep in the icy clutches of September
https://twitter.com/Teen_Cthulhu/status/1638204336923906049?s=20
One of my fave Simpsons scenes.
Really one of the few highlights of the second trilogy.
NFW did anyone at Lucasarts watch those movies before releasing them.
Here’s a phone call I got about 90 minutes ago. I didn’t answer it, even though I was tempted to.
I got a Shanghai number too!
“Tell Joe Biden not to make us sell Tik-Tok. We aren’t spying on you, honest! Hey, you having spaghetti for dinner? It looks good!”
Maybe they have a business opportunity for you. Now you’ll never know
You fool!
I’ve been in leagues where the final week’s bowling is first place bowls second place, etc. I’ve also been in them where the first half winner bowls the second half winner for the championship.
Same. Last week was usually no tap, and had a 50/50 roll-off.
I’m expecting some sort of announcement regarding the roll-off format tonight. We will be nowhere near a championship but maybe our whole team will show up. As a treat.
Jeje. I wonder to whoM the Be happy! is for 🤪
Probably for the people who were worried.
A lot of people think vacuum clogs are the Dr. Mrs. Deadly’s kryptonite, but they’re wrong. It’s zip-lock bags. On the occations that she manages to close them successfully, she traps enough air in them that basically we’ve got a freezer full of balloons.
Teach her to insert the vacuum cleaner into the bag and shrink wrap it.
That is actually a brilliant idea.
WIN – WIN
Get her a vacuum sealer for her birthday.
People who talked shit about the WBC need to be silenced forever. It has been superb.
It’s very fun that there have been no intentional walks.
Yep. Miami games have been full and everything.
More fans for these games than for Marlins ones.
What if you’ve never even thought about the Western Bowling Championship?
I also take offense to those talking shit about the Weevil Burrowing Committee.
I buy into the theory if your country invented it, you’d best be the best at it.
sigh
Fair
That’s why beating the US is a big deal. Despite ‘Murica’s level of caring enough to bring top talent
ME: We pitched Daniel Bard. What more do you people want?
DFO CLUBHOUSE (in unison): WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘YOU PEOPLE’?
ME: (pointing to Rand McNally on the map). YOU, OK!?
Anybody know why the WBC is delayed? All foxsports will show me is Cleatus and Colin Cowherd.
It’s on for me.