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Lite Lesser/NFL Day Three Open Thread

King Hippo

/

, ,

Three fixtures today.  Seriously.  Just three.  But rage at the dying of (Evertonian) light, we must.

If you are insomniac-awake, might as well turn on Palace/Rum Ham (7:30, USA).  But I wouldn’t go out of my way to do so.  Neither team will get relegated, or qualify for Europe THROUGH THE LEAGUE.  As we mentioned previously, Rum Ham are odds-on favoUrites to win Zooropa NIT/Conference League, and jump into Zooropa proper next season.  Thus, David Moyes gets to finish the season in his jobby-job.

But no-stakes games like this…usually suck.

Robins Hood, with their recent pulse, travel into the apiary (10:00, USA) to rain down a little more urine on the Toffees.  Whatevs, they deserve safety a fuckton MOAR than we does.  But they are, by no means, safe YET.  They need at least a point here to keep the feelings good.

One could also stream Trashbirds/Wolves (10:00, Peacock) but keep expectations modest.

Various and sundry shite flows in Sunday’s fountain, then Everton finish their gravedigging away to Leicester on May Day (banner pic to Comrade Stalin) Monday night (3:00, USA).  Old man Vardy nailed on to score, even I could breach the sad Toffee defense.  Cold Tuesday nights in Stoke, here we come!

We also get to the part of the draft where they stop showing/talking about the actual picks.  Until a QB or some asshole from Notre Dame comes off the board.

Anyway, that’s all I got for y’all.  Maybe beats a kick in the bollocks, but not by much.

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WCS

Movement to change the name “Mr. Irrelevant” to “Huge Cock Brock Brudy Presents: The Mr. Irrelevant Selection.”

3
LongtimeLionsLoser

Is Brock Purdy suddenly Nick Foles?

1
WCS

Big Nick wasn’t the last one drafted, though the Owl MVP is a nice bonus.

1
Horatio Cornblower

comment image:large

0
LongtimeLionsLoser

Chateau du Lapin has arrived for Bun Bun.

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6
LongtimeLionsLoser

With its tenant.

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6
BeefReeferLives

Awww. The wee laird in his wee castle.

0
Gumbygirl

Is he using a litter box?

2
LongtimeLionsLoser

Nope, that little house is now in his larger crate. He just needed a bigger place to hide from the nudging of the three dogs.

2
BeefReeferLives

Good for the lil feller to have a sanctum sanctorum…

0
scotchnaut

Pats drafted a punter. That’ll separate them from the AFC East pack.

1
WCS

Due to bizarre string of incidents and strange injuries, he somehow is thrust into the starting QB role and proceeds to win five Super Bowls over the next 14 years.

4
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Supa Dupa Tupa

2
Horatio Cornblower

My unreasonable Dallas Cowboys fan friend just called me and let me know the Eagles traded for De’Andre Swift. He is furious.

The Eagles are going to win the NFC East going away this year, and I hate it.

4
LongtimeLionsLoser

The Lions soured on Swift because he wouldn’t play if “a little hurt.”

Basically, things went sour because they didn’t think that Swift was tough enough to want to play. However, Swift was very good when on the field. I fear the Eagles got a steal for basically a 2025 fourth round pick.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, fuck those guys who won’t turn themselves into an orthopedic cripple for the greater good!

2
LongtimeLionsLoser

Yeah, I never doubt a guy for trying to get back to full health before playing again.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Especially at a position where the average career is 3 years or less.

1
LongtimeLionsLoser

Exactly. The window for earning is tiny.

1
scotchnaut

His religion aside, Roseman is killing it in the front office. The Giants have responded but THEM COWBOYS, WOO! still have the Jones boys making picks. Gotta love how this is going to play out for the Giants in the next few years.

2
Horatio Cornblower

I actually don’t hate the first 3 Dallas picks. DT was a need, although I’d have liked Mayer or Nolan Smith there a little better. They got a TE with the 2nd pick and the LB out of Texas is supposed to be a steal.

That said, a couple of years under Mike McCarthy and all of them should be tremendously disappointing.

0
blaxabbath

We should be leaving now and are not. I’m sure the obvious Florida people who were packed by the gate door since preboard but are just getting in now at Group 6 are not the problem.

3
scotchnaut

“Build That Wall! Build That Wall!”

2
Horatio Cornblower

I’m reading a book about the Civil War and unreasonably hoping that the ending changes and we let the South leave.

2
scotchnaut

“Cowboys On The Cockup.”

0
scotchnaut

12 straight years reaching the playoffs and not getting to the Conference Final is a record!

3
WCS

“Amatuers.”

— all but six seasons of St. Louis Blues hawkey

0
Horatio Cornblower

I believe the Ice Rams (nee’ Los Angeles), did manage to squeeze an actual Stanley Cup into that drought, so they’re way ahead of Dallas since the mid-90’s.

1
WCS

If we’re talking Blues, they won their lone Cup in 2019.

HOWEVAH, they made the playoff every season from 1980-2004, and only twice (!!!!) made the conference finals (1988, 2001), and never once reached the Cup Final.

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
2
blaxabbath

Looks like we’re expecting a full 4+ hour flight to Miami. Gate agents already encouraging folks to consolidate their bags and prepare to gate check.

No one around here even batted an eye. Everyone is banking their Group will already be made before the bins spill out.

Baby Boomers gonna ride their horrible manners all the way to the grave

Last edited 2 years ago by blaxabbath
4
SonOfSpam

Soon, hopefully!

2
scotchnaut

Bengals pick an rb. Amazing.

0
scotchnaut

Kyu Blu Kelly sounds like the title of an amateur video posted to Pornhub by a guy that was running late to his real job.

1
scotchnaut

/Announcing draft picks from Mexico

Niners: [feature members of their fan club]

Steelers: [feature two ex-players wearing fucking sombreros]

/Jesus Christ…

4
LongtimeLionsLoser

Next pick announced by guy climbing over Trump’s wall…

1
BeefReeferLives

/cuts to Roger Goodell eating a taco salad & giving a thumbs up

2
blaxabbath

::Sexually Assaults some Woman in Mexico::

– Sean Kugler

0
WCS

I can’t tell if the Bucs are drafting people or keep getting awful letters in Scrabble.

NT Calijah Kancy
OT Cody Mauch
DE Yaya Diaby
LB SirVocea Dennis

6
scotchnaut

Titans draft a fullback that they most likely could have signed as an UDFA. I predict a long snapper in the next round.

1
WCS

4th-string kick holder

0
Redshirt

You never know when you need depth on the Long Snapper position.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDozkYgSyuk&pp=ygUbYmVuZ2FscyBsb25nIHNuYXBwZXIgaW5qdXJ5

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
0
LongtimeLionsLoser

A teammate of mine was a Jets practice squad OLine man and backup LS, after playing in the World League. That was cool.

0
LongtimeLionsLoser

Seriously, broccoli can fuck off.

Screenshot 2023-04-29 at 2.06.04 PM.jpeg
4
scotchnaut

I’m an asparagus hater myself.

1
scotchnaut

Love the Jets for continuing the Packers long tradition of not drafting weapons for Rodgers in the early rounds.

1
scotchnaut

Damn, I know the Giants have more holes to fill (oof!) but I was hoping that they’d draft qb Thompson-Robinson and develop him for a couple of years so that they can move off Dimes in two years.

1
litre_cola

Nice to see the game in Rome subscribed to crazytown in extra time.

2
scotchnaut

NFL: “It’s a passing league now and has been for quite a few years.”

Browns: [have not been in the Top Ten in passing yards for 28 straight seasons] “Wait? What?”

2
Redshirt

The Bengals and Duke Tobin have earned the benefit of the doubt, but this draft so far is head scratching.

0
scotchnaut

Vikes D badly needs better players but they went O with their first three picks.

0
yeah right

It’s just the stupidest fucking thing ever.

There was not a single thing wrong with the offense last year.

There was not a single thing right about the defense last year.

Let’s draft offense!

Yay!

Having some early doubts about the new GM.

2
scotchnaut

If he didn’t like what he saw at the spot he should have traded up or down. Oddly, I’m ok with the qb pick because it seems obvious they’re moving on from Cousins and they have a year to coach him up.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

You know what the Vikings need on offense?
AA Ron Rodgers

0
Redshirt

Inverse with Bengals. OL cost them in the playoffs and TE is getting worse and worse? Defense, defense, defense, and WR4.

1
scotchnaut

Bengals getting richer at the wr and special teams spot.

1
Redshirt

Definitely thinking about the long game if they can’t keep Boyd or Higgins after Burrow and Chase gets paid.

0
scotchnaut

This implies competency from their front office. I’m going with, “lucked into something because they went BPA according to their board”. You know I’m right.

0
Redshirt

My theory is still what Madden NFL 06 simulates.

0
scotchnaut

Wow, sports-talking guy I was listening to yesterday said that Swift would be traded less than 24 hours after the Lions drafted Gibbs. Yes, the Lions were going to move on from him because they obviously don’t like him but dude made a ballsy and correct prediction.

2
Gumbygirl

I knew the Rams were going to take Stetson Bennett. Good luck with that.

2
scotchnaut

Stetson Bennett. Dude was probably named by his dyslexic stepdad.

3
Horatio Cornblower

His dyslexic Confederate-loving stepdad.

2
Redshirt

If you are named after a hat, that’s a red flag right there.

1
scotchnaut

A “Don’t Tread On Me” flag as well.

1
SonOfSpam

Entitled white guy QBs are what RAMMMMMIT is all about.

0
scotchnaut

Mel’s top three best available players has not changed since noon.

0
Senor Weaselo

Well, tech folks, I may be in a bind.

Thursday night I tried to charge my laptop (take this time to complain about MacBook chargers). No charging. Tried to sync my phone and that was fine, but the laptop battery is currently dead.

Got a new cable, so I’ll see if that’s the culprit. But if it isn’t how screwed am I?

0
Redshirt

Replace battery if you can. If not, treat laptop as a desktop computer and keep it plugged in until you can afford replacement.

0
Senor Weaselo

I’m mainly hoping it’s not a logic board situation or something where it got rattled around and a wire got loose (because I just had to go WebMD on it) or something I’d need to leave it for a week. I have no problems basically using it as a portable desktop regardless because I’d be at work near an outlet.

We’ll see tonight, if it’s just the cable that would be best-case.

0
scotchnaut

You’d think that Andy would be the one drafting a guy with a porcine-adjacent name like Sidy Sow.

Welcome aboard, son. Can you hook your coach up with some sweet, sweet baby backs?

3
Dunstan

Sow: “Uh, coach, I think there’s been a misunderstand….”

Reid (singing): “I WANT MY BABY BACK BABY BACK BABY BACK, I WANT MY BABY BACK BABY BACK BABY BACK….”

Mahomes (sighing): “Forget it, rookie, the only thing to do now is get ready to sing the backup vocals.”

7
BugEyedBoo

I’m just hoping for his sake that Andy can afford to eat at places better than Applebee’s. I’ll eat at Taco Bell before I’ll eat at Applebee’s.

2
scotchnaut

Tone Deaf Producer: “Hey, the pick is being made from London-play ‘London Calling’.

2
scotchnaut

“Mel’s Best Available” is not legit unless it includes the name of a hair care product.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

0
2Pack

Roma

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2
2Pack

Milan… Who ya got

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1
scotchnaut

Sooo, turns out I was kicked off a Giants draft thread because I agreed with another guy that the NFL trots out the military at every opportunity and that the military pays millions to do so. A veteran on the thread demanded to be respected and things went downhill from there. Yes, shots were fired-a few too many by me apparently.

4
Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Fuck that guy. $10 says he isn’t even a veteran.

1
Horatio Cornblower

My daughter said that the guy making the pick for the Texans looks like he got lost looking for an Olive Garden and was suddenly shoved on stage with a card and told to read it.

8
Dunstan

“That place is such a rip-off. They say they have ‘unlimited’ breadsticks, but when I asked for a 53rd basket they said they had run out.” — Andy R., Kansas City

3
scotchnaut

Watching a (kinda) sporting event with your offspring, [looks off into the middle distance] I wonder what that would be like…

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Haven’t done the sporting event thing, but I’ve certainly had a lot of fun watching Netflix with a parent.” – Zach Wilson

4
Horatio Cornblower

Patriots war room is Grumblelord sitting by himself staring at his phone while various people wander in with confused looks on their face.

1
Redshirt

.

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6
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Heh heh, that made me giggle.

1
Horatio Cornblower

“Born to play at BYU”

You can just say ‘Mormon,’ Mel; I’m pretty sure it’s not a slur.

2
Redshirt

You can’t be too safe in today’s culture.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Maybe it means something else.” – BYU MILFs*

*not to be confused with “BYO MILF” which is how the invitation to Zach Wilson’s key party read

1
BeefReeferLives

/ pushes glasses up nose

Actually, it kinda is. They prefer to be called LDS (for Latter Day Saints) and some actually take a bit of umbrage at being called a “Mormon”.

but, y’know, who cares, because they are brainwashed fools (as are most serious adherents to any formalized religion, IMHO)

0
Horatio Cornblower

Eagles draft another Georgia defensive player. Hang on while I make my shocked face.

2
scotchnaut

The Senators have drafted a bunch of kids that have played/are playing at South Dakota State because they really like what that program is doing. This has always made sense to me. Nowadays you draft wr’s from Alabama, back in the 80’s/early 90’s you drafted rb’s from Miami, Iowa offensive linemen and so on.

1
Horatio Cornblower

New Orleans sent out an autistic kid to announce their first pick of the 4th round.

The Raiders sent out an “influencer”

0
Redshirt

They should have themes for each round. Round 5: mascots or live animal versions of teams.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, was it one of Mark Davis’ “tonight girlfriends”?

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know you all like to laugh at my vacuum gripes and say “it’s not like these vacuums are physically hurting you, Rikki (with the exception of your ears)” but that all changed this morning as I got my little toe caught between two pieces of plastic casing in one of them.

2
scotchnaut

I’m calling your vacuum “Infant Skynet” because it’s starting with baby steps.

3
blaxabbath

I got a flight in like 4 hours. FLO-RIDA. Till middle next week. Not one bit amped.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Is it at least a good part of Florida, or is it not Key West?

3
blaxabbath

It is not Key West.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Condolences

0
Gumbygirl

Gumby got Hep A in Key West. There is no good part of Florida.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Key West is awesome. I’d retire there if I had about a billion dollars and also if most of it wasn’t going to underwater in the next 50 years.

Although I suspect the last few of those years won’t be my problem.

1
King Hippo

wish everyone a Most Glorious May Day, comrade blax!

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If you stop by any Pensacola-area high schools, keep an eye out for Matt Gaetz. Because he pays to fuck children, you see.

2
Fronkenshteen

Palace’s fourth, and as it turns out the winning goal. Worst penalty call of the season? Or worst penalty call of all time?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0IKgAdmsMuI&pp=ygUad2VzdCBoYW0gdnMgY3J5c3RhbCBwYWxhY2U%3D

1
Horatio Cornblower

I can see why the ref called it, but for VAR to uphold that is absurd.

2
King Hippo

Utter shite, but that Major European Trophy still beckons. I hope all the Fronks get to watch and enjoy that final.

0
Fronkenshteen

Thanks, my internet homey!🤓

1
Fronkenshteen

Now compound that injury with the penalty against Liverpool that WASN’T called mid-week which cost us another point & you can see why Moyes gets salty with the officiating.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jcJqRMJycxQ&pp=ygUmTGl2ZXJwb29sIHZzIHdlc3QgaGFtIGhhbmRiYWxsIG5vIGNhbGw%3D

Last edited 2 years ago by Fronkenshteen
0
Horatio Cornblower

Nottingham Forest playing in yellow and blue, which make green when combined.

They’re so close to getting it.

4
King Hippo

They need to at least have the coaching staff and subs bench wear them pointy little hats, too. Up the Robins Hood!

6
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and Essendon manages to blow a 28-point lead in the 4th quarter.

THAT’S MY BOMBERS!

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Morning. I woke up with lots of little aches and pains. I interpret that as my body rejecting this week’s attempts at exercise.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Did you watch the Sydney Derby?

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just started a little bit ago, but keep getting interrupted

1
2Pack

Stay with it. The body is amazing. It will get used to it.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

“This body is amazing.”

Not a compliment when said by Andy Reid’s doctor, marveling at the stretchiness.

4
King Hippo

imagine HIS Swimsuit Competition Day at the Combine!

2
WCS

Does West Ham count as bananacakes yet?

0
litre_cola

This game is nuts.

0
Fronkenshteen

Good thing the ref shitted the whole thing up.

0
King Hippo

of course, since I slept in

0
2Pack

My mid point Saturday bike ride pit stop. When commenting on the local club Ultras scarf to the proprieter, she sheepishly denied any association.

IMG_20230429_140851.jpg
3
Horatio Cornblower

Can we assume they’re fascists?

1
2Pack

No more of the PD (Partito Demicrato) crowd based on conversation overheard.

1
scotchnaut

Here’s a random thing I found.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCY0aeUx-Ns&ab_channel=LaserTime

2
Fronkenshteen

Nothing better than Muppet fun:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kq-VNCGBDRU&pp=ygUUbXVwcGV0cyB3aGF0Y2hhIHdhbnQ%3D

3
Horatio Cornblower

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3ba8ff

The absolute king of these videos. From Bert coming in on “BROWNSVILLE” to the blue guy tripping balls in the corner at about the 50 second mark, it’s just perfect.

3
Fronkenshteen

Up early to get smacked around by the lovely Rebecca Lowe’s Crystal Palace. Although Moyes FINALLY sat Benrahma down for Fornals (seriously, watch Matip’s winner against us on Wednesday. Benrahma is the frosty haired guy that lets him run absolutely free in the box) so our attack might have a bit more fizz and pop than usual today.
I was driving Uber last night when the message came down from my son’s coach that today’s away soccer game (in freaking Richmond! GAH! That’s 2 hours away) has been cancelled. [does Carlton Dance] So now I’m waiting for this rough customer to wake up so I can make him French Toast and listen to the rain fall. Let’s go Hammers!!

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10
Don T

Sounds like a great AM!

2
LongtimeLionsLoser

Little Fronk is super cute.

Cue the music…

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