[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

The First Manc Derby FA Cup Final – Open Thread

King Hippo

/

, , ,

It seems like this would have happened before, probably on multiple occassions.  But no – this is the first, and sure to be quite the drunken event.  So much so, they moved the kickoff time up like 2.5 hours (10:00, ESPN+).

Gots to respect y’all’s #PrudeGame, Inglen.

Wakey’s Red Devils have already won the Cursed Caribou Cup, and achieved their primary goal (qualify for Shempions through league position), while this would make the 2nd leg in City of Men’s treble stool (don’t get too excite, Germany – ain’t THAT type of stool).

Will there be differential motivation?  No.  It’s a fookin’ Derby.

Will there be differential quality?  Yes.  It’s Pep’s City of Men.

Will you watch?  Yes, fuck else you gonna do today?

My ribs hurt, so I am done typing.  Tune in to see all your Manc favoUrites, from Kevin the Broom and Hulk SMASH!, to perhaps even ol’ Slabhead.  Or is he hurt?  I dunno, been taking elephantine amounts of drugs.

Also, this tune is an absolute banger, and I will fight anyone who contests such.

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
75 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Doktor Zymm

Switching my internet from Comcast to Verizon, so when connecting to the new network I had occasion to notice that one of my lovely neighbors has named their wifi network ‘Shitonmydick’

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, man, yuck. They need to learn how to wipe better.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or maybe get a bidet.

1
Doktor Zymm

They must get some epic skid marks, maybe that’s why the laundry room is always so gross

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Debating whether I should take on the project of creating a collection (in order) of every single song ever played on MTV’s “120 Minutes”. Someone has already documented the shows so it’s just a matter of collecting the mp3’s.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone put together a giant Spotify list, too. I probably shouldn’t do this, but I’m going to at least start, because it irritates me that music is no longer something you can enjoy without using a streaming service.

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

BBQing chicken for the first time in ages. It’s like I’ve never done it before, hopefully I don’t mess up too bad
/will over cook in worst case to avoid the medium rare chicken, yuck

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I cooked some chicken thighs on my gas grill a few nights ago and honestly it always seems like more trouble than it’s worth.

0
scotchnaut

Are you doing beer can? Maybe spatchcock? Whole bird on the spit? Kebabs?

0
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZpfR9PphaY&ab_channel=AnimalsWorld

This needs the Curb Your Enthusiasm music.

1
King Hippo

I was thinking “at least we can leer at the Women’s World Cup this summer”…but for some reason it ain’t start until 20 July.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There have been so many wonderful surprises in this Battlebots finale.

0
King Hippo

I want to start up Succession but I hate making non-binding time commitments. This was easier when still married, because binge watching >>> talking about Hippo’s myriad shortcomings.

1
Horatio Cornblower

It’s a well-scripted, well-acted show about loathsome people who will screw over anyone to get what they want.

I already saw Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad and Mad Men, though, so I feel no real need to watch that again but set in a 2020’s boardroom.

0
Don T

Plus all of Succession’s characters are hateful, with none of Veep’s stream of acid takedowns.

Last edited 2 years ago by Don T
0
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Dodgers just need to go all out and turn Chavez Ravine into LGBTQ Caligula for a night. Only gay kisses on the kiss cam. Include pronouns for each batter on the scoreboard. The promotion is baseballs with top surgery scar seams. Dodger Dog eating contest sponsored by Grindr. Hand out Butt Magazine instead of programs.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Before they reversed their stance on the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence I was thinking about wearing nun’s habits and rainbow face paint to a few games.

2
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

There will be a post-game felch around the bases!

5
King Hippo

Hey, if they can have professional pickleball, they can have professional felching.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am catching up on Battlebots and the last two Sawblaze fights have been some of the best I’ve ever seen. Just absolutely impeccable driving in the first (round of 16), and an absolute nail-biter of a fight in the second (quarterfinal).

0
Redshirt

I just saw a picture of Mike Pence on a motorcycle. My brain is paralyzed between making a joke or calling his mommy.

3
WCS

Eli on a Harley is the closest equivalent I can think of, but, Eli is likable.

0
Redshirt

Eli isn’t allowed on a vehicle with less than four wheels after crashing his Little Tikes on the Giants Practice Field in his rookie season.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m sure he was just looking for an excuse to wear leather.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWekLP16mAo

2
WCS

There is a considerable betting chance Pence is a never-nude.

4
scotchnaut

Was it as funny as Dukakis tanking the ’88 Presidential election?

2
Horatio Cornblower

It’s pretty bad, but since Mike’s never going to be the actual nominee it won’t have the same effect.

https://twitter.com/7Veritas4/status/1664642104633573384

0
WCS

comment image

3
scotchnaut

Looks as though Pence blue himself in this pic.

1
scotchnaut

Me: “What’s the next book we have to read for your English Lit course?”

Son: “It’s Shakespeare.”

Me: [in my head] Please, please let it be The Taming of the Shrew, A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream, Romeo and Juliet, The Merchant of Venice or Hamlet (all of which I read back in the day) “Which play?”

Son: “King Lear.”

Me: “Aww, crap!”

/It’s only 146(?) pages but what a slog

5
Redshirt

Vice (2018) – Shakespeare In Bed Scene [HD] | Spotlight – YouTube

Shakespearian is something that I understand what they are saying yet I have no clue what they are specifically saying.

2
Don T

As as teen, I had to read “My mistress’s eyes are nothing like the sun” for English class. First Shakespeare I was exposed to, made me think this ancient English writer was foar reelz.
The plays were difficult to get through, Hamlet paticulary. Othello was tough too, but Iago kept me interested. Best. Villain. Ever.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Reading plays is dumb. The proper way to experience a play is to watch a performance of it.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Isn’t that the one where the kids have to deal with Dad going mad while figuring out how to divvy up his empire?

I can see where that would be awkward for you.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I didn’t go too far (1500 yards) but that was one of the most invigorating swims I’ve had in a long time. The lack of sun had been really messing with my head. Really happy the weather has broken, even if for just a couple of days.

6
yeah right

Completely agree. Got a good 4 miles in today. The harbor was looking particularly beautiful.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Finished the move. Had to take a door off the hinges for the sleeper sofa and we couldn’t get the box spring to the bedroom due to the stairs being at an insane pitch and a low ceiling. Left it downstairs with a challenge to the landlord, who loves this sort of thing and is undoubtedly going to find a way to get it up the stairs.

Back sore, knee tweaked, so basically it’s a day that ends in ‘y’

6
WCS

Tomorrow?

comment image

4
2Pack

Any hoist it up through a second floor window options?

1
Horatio Cornblower

No, we checked. It would work if you took out an entire window but that’s it.

The landlord might do it though; he loves an engineering challenge.

0
scotchnaut

Beer Time!

1
blaxabbath

That’s good work.

1
scotchnaut

[desperately searches the stands for any good-looking fan, Man City or otherwise]

-several cameramen at the moment

6
Horatio Cornblower

comment image

6
scotchnaut

There it is! Woo!

1
King Hippo

City of Men, fookin legends

1
scotchnaut

What year is your pretend team currently at?

1
King Hippo

October 2195, behind Pretend Bournemouth on goal differential after 9

2
Senor Weaselo

Trophy update?

0
King Hippo

Around 125 Shempions, 170-ish Prem, 123 FA Cups. Still in the 80s for Cursed Caribou

1
Don T

I see Mr. Gilkey started to slip after turning 127. Perhaps he needs some motivation. Have the Pretend Board reupholster his sarcophagus.

2
King Hippo

Will fatty Kalvin even get to play?

0
King Hippo

Conceding one goal – none from open play – in the entire tournament? Using the backup keeper, no less.

2
Wakezilla

The FFP bribing Oil Merchants may win the treble, but we’ll always know it’s not legitimate

0
scotchnaut

Da Broom to da bench.

0
King Hippo

Fixture has gotten tastier this half.

0
Wakezilla

Sancho on the left wing is an embarrassment to lesser footy. He’s an embarrassment and thank god Garnacho is on. Nacho is gonna score

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

All of these seem made up

0
Wakezilla

If Sancho wasn’t English, he’d already been chased back to Germany

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nacho is gonna score

OH OH OH! IS PROM NIGHT ALREADY? THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!

comment image

2
Wakezilla

Watching lesser footy in football is such a scam. Fubo and Dazn have Brexit stuff, but it Sportsnet that gets the FA Cup final? Fuck off with that.

0
Wakezilla

Anyway, what least this illegal stream is really good

0
scotchnaut

GUNDO!

0
scotchnaut

Oh boy.

0
scotchnaut

My ex-NASL playing buddy predicts that Man U will be lucky to get to 30% possession.

0
Senor Weaselo

ESPN currently says 64-36.

0
scotchnaut

Yeah, I sent my buddy a text about that because I’ll never pass up a chance at being snarky.

0
King Hippo

that escalated…immediately

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Watching the replay, that was a total of literally six touches from the start of the game, right?

https://twitter.com/EmiratesFACup/status/1664997796817281026

1
Horatio Cornblower

That’s amazing, and he’s at best their 3rd-most valuable player. What a ridiculous team.

And I say that admiringly.

0
2Pack

Final games for Series A this weekend… and few people give a shit. Napoli had it wrapped up a month ago and while spots 2-4 may move a bit, they are all locks for Champs league next year. I hope to run into Marika next week at the beach. Wearing less than this would be better.

13.3187_DZ1049740_MG91361808.jpg
Last edited 2 years ago by 2Pack
4
King Hippo

Imagine all the sunscreen she will need, a proper gentleman would no doubt feel obliged to lend a hand.

2
2Pack

I would glady share some of my coco butter with the fine lady.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Good God!

0
scotchnaut

They’re Peppy and De Bruyne,

Yes, Peppy and De Bruyne

One is a genius

The others passes are insane.

They’re Peppy, Peppy and De Bruyne, Bruyne, Bruyne…

6
75
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x