This is the last DFO column I will write before turning 50.  In truth, I have never felt older (which is quite logically accurate) – so the actual day will feel like the square root of fuckall (just like 40).  Also just like 10 years ago, I will hang around with my cats as the primary means of celebration.  Fuck social obligations.

But I said to my self – Gee willikers, Other Hippo – I betcha the Swedish futbol squadron will have some glorious shoulders to lift your…spirits!  And lo and behold, they certainly do.  Also Hippo’s sleeper pick to win it all.

Currently 3rd in the FIFA rankings, so this is hardly an off-the-wall HAWT TAEK.  Except that in women’s footy, it’s always folly to pick someone than the Futbol Karens of E.E.U.U.  Blech.

One thing I do really like (beyond my usual, sick perversion) is that Sverge create mostly from the centre of midfield.  This fits in with Bernard Gilkey’s philopsophy, which has served him very well over the past 177 Pretend Years.  It’s the heartbeat of every great footballing side, and much easier to watch than winger-based crossing systems, or long-ball merchants expecting the striker to create out of nothing.  The beautiful game should be beautiful, consarnit.

Speaking of that, leading scorer/attacking midfielder Kosovare Asllani – a Valkyrie amongst Valkyries, no doubt (as pictured above).  Kosovar Albanian by heritage, so you also know she’s cray-cray.  She’s the leading scorer (44 international futbol points), and wears the #9 shirt.

They also have a mix of domestic-based, and European mega-club players.  Two Evertonians, even – though our women’s side is almost as basketcase-y as the menfolk.

Late night dates, though.  They open against South Afrika on 23 July @ 1:00 am EST – and it gets worse from there.  Eye-Ties on 29 July (3:30 am) and Argentina to close group play on 2 August (3:00 am) will test the most hardened of insomniacs*.

*Dave Attell would make SUCH a good sideline reporter for this Women’s World Cup.

Other than the unwieldy times (from the American pervert’s POV), this group should be a “piece of piss” for #BlondAmbition, with Italy being the toughest opponent (at only 16th in the world rankings).  Argentina and especially South Afrika should be roadkill for an experienced and talented group such as this.