Your Very First Monday Nighter of the Season Open Thread

Only 18 more of these to go and yes, they will go by quickly. By the last one you’ll be making New Year’s resolutions and wondering why you didn’t do that thing in 2023 that you swore you would. [shakes head] You never learn…

Silly Tidbits:

-Bryce Young will be starting again next week, a time when usually the staff is trying to separate the wheat from the chaff at the bottom of each positional depth chart. He does need the reps but if he gets injured or even limps once, hellfire will rain on Reich’s head. Bryce’s o-line is doing him no favors-PFF says that he’s being pressured 46% of the time he drops to pass.

-Gronk said something about, ‘the only guy that could make me play again is Daboll’. (he also said he is washed) So of course the shitty beat reporters run over to Daboll and ask if Gronk is coming on board. Most of them have also mentioned that the Giants are hard up against the cap. There’s no money. God, I hate this shit so much some days.

-There’s oohing and aahing going on in Cowboys camp about 2nd year guy Jake Ferguson. DAK! has stated that he’s a playmaker ready to make the next step and feast on the Giants secondary for the whole of his career. Just. Great.

To the Game!

Ravens/Commandos:

-I wanted to write Bal/Was but to my fourteen year-old brain it reminded me too much of Ball Washers. So here we are.

-Remember this from the last few preseasons?: The Ravens are on a 24 game win streak. Hey, their shitty players at the end of the bench are better than yours. Harbaugh ain’t care at all about that-he’s not dressing Lamar or Pro Bowler Hundley. In their stead will be Old Unreliable Josh Johnson and 2nd year barely known Anthony Brown.

-On t’udder side of the field Sam Howell should/better get some run given that he has all of one NFL tilt in his chamber.

Enjoy tonight’s offering.

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bk109

… Anyone alive over ‘ere? I’m curious – is me suggesting “struggling writers” should head over to the local BAC chapter is mean, or just helpful? 😛

Brick Meathook

I just ate this candy bar (empty wrapper shown).

It was the best thing ever. You may now proceed in life. Thank you and God bless.

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Gumbygirl

It’s weird, I like all three of those things, but not together.

Brick Meathook

Chocolate, almond, and coconut?

Gumbygirl

Yes. I think it’s more of a texture thing. The coconut is kind of gummy.

Brick Meathook

I see.

WCS

I fucking love ’em. Local ice creamery makes Almond Joy and fudge ripple. Try it as a milkshake.

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

They’re really fun to cram up your ass. The almonds function as a de facto prostate milker!

Brick Meathook

Where the fuck is everybody? Did you drown? Are you doing homework? WTF

Brick Meathook

WTF = WFT = Washington Football Team

Gumbygirl

Look, you, I’m dying of a Third World disease [Narrator: She’s not dying] here, show a little respect for the soon to be dearly departed!

Brick Meathook

I only asked where you were, not for a sob story; I hope all is well and you have survived and smoted all your enemies in a cruel but satisfying fashion. Thank you and God bless.

bk109

Eating a dodgy kebab ain’t a third world disease y’know 😉

bk109

Sorry about that, but when the choice is between spending all night chatting or doing a complete teardown and rebuild of VAG’s somewhat infamous W12 engine… the engine wins

Brick Meathook

Just buy an electric car already. Thank you and God bless.

bk109

Firstly, the W12 is my father in-law’s (I’d never get me one of those, because I’ve always known about their reputation).
Secondly – I already have – I’ve got a RS e-tron GT (catchy name) on order alongside the R8 I traded my old R8 Spyder for.
Thirdly – Me and the wife have earmarked yet another e-tron (the Q5), since with 4 kids… we do need the three row seating, so as soon as it’s available for preorder …
And most importantly – if I had enough parking in Dublin, I’d be driving a goddamn BTR-80 to work, just so I can watch all the hybrid-driving fucks look on with envy/disgust because its suspension is fucking fantastic, plus has more than enough room for the 4 kiddos in the back 🙂

bk109

Btw, quick PSA – While the Phaeton has a pleasant ride and overall performance, there’s a reason why its price’s gone so down. It’s a halo car, with a lot of extraneous stuff that can easily fail on you, especially after it’s been driven awhile, hence why its prices are lower than contemporary Audis and the like (from the same general class) as fixing/maintaining it is a PITA unless you’ve got a son in law like moi that has a masochistic streak to go with his technical skills and properly stocked garage/machine shop

Brick Meathook

WASHINGTON COMMANDERS ARE SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!

King Hippo

a brave new dawn for the Commies!

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

BONUS: Teh HIPPOZ all time fave cat

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Mr. Ayo

Is the streak over? B. Walsh looks on with some interest.

Gumbygirl

It’s beautiful here this evening, comfortable temps and a gorgeous sunset. I had a little water on my patio, so I had to clean it today. Still have some mud that washed across a low point in my sidewalk out to the back gate. There’s a greenbelt higher than my yard that’s desert landscaping, and they used dried clay as the mulch. At least the mud is pretty! It should be completely dry tomorrow, and I can sweep it off. Paging Dr. Mrs. Rikki?

ballsofsteelandfury

I used my Shop Vac today. I wonder if she gets as excited about Shop Vacs as regular vacuums?

Gumbygirl

Powerful Suction, baby!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, she’d have tried to sweep off the mud hours ago, then gotten frustrated because (surprise!) all that was happening was that it was getting smeared around, and then she’d have tried to vacuum it up. “Let it dry!” I’d shout, into the wind.

Gumbygirl

Resistance is futile.

bk109

Forgive me the potentially stupid question, buuuuuuut… Why not clean it now with a pressure washer? Surely you either have one or can borrow one from a neighbour?

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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WCS

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Brick Meathook

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WCS

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM !

Sharkbait

Settling into parental leave with a second kid now. I have a feeling this is gonna be my life when they’re both passed out

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Game Time Decision

Nap when they do
– hippo and any experienced parents

King Hippo

Every picture (under 2) I have with the twins, all three of us are asleep.

blaxabbath

I haven’t seen this many empty seats in DC since Tommy Tubberville conviened what is left of the US Defense Department leadership.

Gumbygirl

Welp, I just watched the local news. Turns out, Desert Hot Springs has been under a boil water order since yesterday. Hello cholera!

WCS

Oregon Trailing it!

Horatio Cornblower

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Gumbygirl

.

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WCS

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Doktor Zymm

This one is better anyway

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Sharkbait

Stop trying to imitate Florida!

Doktor Zymm
Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
Gumbygirl

I say he’s 6 ft even and 340 lbs.

Game Time Decision

I’ll take the under on height and over on weight

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ll take the under. I bet he’s been wolfing down Ozempic and like Britt Reid wolfs down [literally any narcotic that is available in pill form].

Doktor Zymm

Ozempic is an injection, so if he’s been eating it I would take the over

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does weight get publicly reported at arraignment?

Gumbygirl

If they weigh him, someone wilk leak it. It would be Un-American not to!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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WCS

These Breast Cancer Awareness things are getting elaborate.

Game Time Decision

Troy looks like Vin Desiel

BrettFavresColonoscopy

For next off season, we should have someone unbiased (GTD or Gumby?) pick a “winner” of each week’s mock draft.

And if we want to use that to make Horatio’s life easier, we could require the winner to nominate a new topic for his consideration.

Last edited 1 year ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Game Time Decision

How the fuck are either of us unbiased?
Or is this more a function of my bad picks?

Mr. Ayo

Quiet. Accept the challenge. Then make a single pick in the mock draft. And then select that as the best one each week. Then do a bonus worst pick and make it Horatio’s initial pick.

Game Time Decision

Haha, I’m on board with this

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fine, more trustworthy than the rest of us?

King Hippo

It’s the Commies. Can’t judge them in Year 4 of Most Glorious 5-Year Plan!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Scorpion and the frog.

King Hippo

They should show a closeup of Traitor Qaren’s bullet-ridden corpse.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, the Ravens are 20-4 against the spread during their streak. Walter Cherepinsky – who I used to look to for football smarts – had a theory that certain coaches actually care about winning preseason games (and others don’t), and would bet accordingly. I bet he’s made a mint off Harbaugh’s Ravens.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jesus, just looked it up and he’s 43-12 in preseason games. I’d say he cares.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The company that manages pension benefits for my mother-in-law has been dragging their feet like crazy in terms of paying out her survivor’s share. I am wondering if they do this as a matter of policy (based on the idea that a certain percentage of spouses die within, say, six months of each other) and if so, seems like it would leave them open to a class action lawsuit from descendants.

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
King Hippo

God help us, do Rebecca Malone EVAR look a proper cunt or what??

Sharkbait

18 more Mondays? I just connected the dots that I’ll be on parental leave the almost the entire season.

WCS

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Sharkbait

First few nights have been the exact opposite

Game Time Decision

That’s some good hussle

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought we were calling Sam Howell Rebecca Malone? Or did I just coin that and no one else liked it?

King Hippo

I fuvking loved it, just that my memory is a sieve. KEEP REMINDING TEH CLASS

Doktor Zymm

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There’s also a theory that it wasn’t Van Gogh who sliced his ear, but rather that Paul Gauguin was the slicer

litre_cola

I love Minshew. That is all.

Brick Meathook

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WCS

Now we can all mellow with Ben Murphy.