Welcome Lards and Lasses, are you as giddy in your shorts or PJ’s or yoga pants or whatever as I am? No doubt. It’s finally here, by the grace of Goodell. [tries to spit on ground, hits small girl in error]

Thoughts and prayers go out to Bama fans and fantasy players that took Kupp in the 2nd round. Yahoo dunked on yours truly because I reached for Ridley there but how do you like me know, unfeeling fantasy platform?

My prep for today’s shindig involved making chili yesterday and making the near superhuman effort (for me) of only having a few loving spoonfuls. It’s been percolating (wrong word but I like the connotation) in the fridge, getting better and better by the hour. Let me know what your pre-game actions are in the comments.

To The Games!

Texans/Ravens:

For better or worse, Demeco and Stroud’s fortunes are joined at the hip. There’s some interesting pieces to work with but there’s such a long way to go. Lamar has never had so many legit receiving options as he has this year. (though I’ve given up on Bateman)

Bengals/Browns:

Will Burrow’s mobility be limited in any way? We should find out early, given that Garrett will no doubt be in his face from the get-go. The Bengals safety sitch looks as dicey as hell, so little experience back there.

Bucs/Vikes:

The Baker Mayfield Experiment (Part 3?) begins again in Minny. The former overall #1 pick has more than his share of doubters, haters and whisperers-seems like too much to overcome. We’ll see.

Titans/Saints:

Fantasy folks are saying that this is the year the wheels come off the Henry train but they’ve failed to account for the fact that he’s not human. He’ll be viable into his 30’s.

Panthers/Falcons:

Call me Ballsy (is there room for two?) but in Math Hurts! league I’m starting Atlanta’s backfield of Allgeier and Bijan. The logic (if you could call it that) is that no matter what the game script, they will try to run the ball down your throat.

Jags/Colts:

A Jackson/Moss backfield scares exactly no one and elicits an ‘Ugh’ from most everyone. Most folks feel that we’ll see the real Prison Girlfriend now that there’s some modicum of stability and competence in his environs.

Niners/Steelers:

Pitt is a dog at home to start the season? Yoink! you very much oddsmakers. Never undersell Tomlin, ever.

Cards/Commies:

In my “Not Survivor” pick ’em league I’ve the Cards to go down. I think it’s written in stone that Dobbs will have a dreadful day vs the likes of Payne, Sweat and Tears. Uh, I mean Allen.

Do you in the comments.