[climbs out of shamehole, brushes dirt from pants]
Last night, that didn’t go well! What a travesty-the talent gap has not been sufficiently closed, folks. At least I’m up in my fantasy leagues.
Fallout:
-We Have Ownage Transference? Julian Love’s longish stay in the qb waiting room seems to have paid off for him. Congrats to him for helping to beat the Bears.
-A Little of This, (Yay!) A Little of That.(Oh No) Jacobi Meyers justified his signing right out of the gate by scoring double 6’s yesterday but then the hammer came right down on his head and it’s off to Concussion Town.
-It’s Never Good News: Alas, whenever Pacman Jones shows up as an item, it tends to involve the authorities. Getting escorted off a plane while being intoxicated for a 6am flight-why not get smashed at home like a (relatively) responsible old guy like me?
-Speaking of the above item… Antonio Brown reportedly blew 125K on the Vikes yesterday. At the age of 35 I’d expect the ‘He’s Penniless’ stories to hit within the next five years.
To The Game!
Bills/Jets:
-These guys split last year with New York winning by 3 and Buffalo winning by 8.
-The Redemption Tour of Gabe Davis: The world was his oyster last year with many predicting he’d go to the next level as a wr. I think if you wanted him you’d have to grab him in the 3rd or 4th round. It didn’t happen. A toxic mix of nagging injuries and dropped balls sent his season sideways.
-Hey, who is Sauce taking on tonight? Some say he’s shadowing Diggs but others say he’ll stick to the outside. Perhaps the guessing is a reflection of the fact that he can play anywhere on the field.
-James Cook is the latest rb to be offered up as a difference-maker on the Bills O. Though to me the run game seems to be an afterthought after Allen came on board. Singletary and Moss had their chances but failed miserably. Or is it that GM Beane just can’t identify rb talent?
-Nuff said about Rodgers everywhere else so not here.
-Will Dalvin or Breece dominate carries or will it be evenly split? I’d guess they’re within 5 carries of each other, further muddying the waters of those folks that drafted them.
Do your thing.
if that was an achilles, there is a god
“Dad do remember when Grammy told us that black people had extra muscles in their legs and that made them better athletes?”
Yes, son I do. It was Christmas Eve, such a beautiful time to try and pass on grossly racist myths to impressionable kids.
Note: this was my mother in law. Shocker.
I guess we’re all terrorists sympathizers because we’re all celebrating a jet crashing.
What did I say.
https://youtu.be/H47ow4_Cmk0?si=tAvyBZr8PMXZvp7G
ah! Blue tent!! Keep yer dirty JEW medicines away from me!!!!!
The problem with this NFL Sunday Ticket Commercial – the Niners fans are still standing, free of multiple stab wounds – surrounded by Raiders fans.
Robert Saleh looking he just found out the second tower was hit.
so much prepared Rodgers B roll segments lost like tears in the rain
They will show them anyway, because we live in the Darkest Timeline.
And there folks was the Aaron Rogers era in New York
I truly believe if Tim and Eric hand’t found their creative outlet, they’d be wearing the skin of other humans. Fucking so beautifully damaged.
I guess Aaron didn’t have natural immunity to that hit.
The MILF Hunter-Z era begins (again) in New Jersey!
I had a friend when I was in my late 20’s who was obsessed with that site. We bought him disposable razors for his birthday to keep his palms from growing thick nests of hair.
Wow
that’s an ankle
Aaron Rodgers getting seriously injured on his very first drive would be the most Jets thing ever.
I was really worried about my post getting bumped from today….
infinite Jets
I can’t believe that some dimwit marketing idiot – I count myself as one – hasn’t made some colossal mistake involving the Jets and 9-11.
Think of it, a campaign designed to commemorate the event, with the Jets as a tie in.
Lololololol!
There it is.
HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHA
What a minute? The Jets got a new quarterback?
lmao no way
That Jets O+Line is trash.
Please god, make him throw a pic
The good news is I finally figured out how to access the Manningcast.
The other news is we are almost certainly about to sit down to dinner sans TV shortly.
Go Not Jets!
I guess I’m betting on Al-Qaeda
So I legit think my friend might get jumped for a 9/11 joke they made earlier:
I miss when 9/11 was about togetherness, now it’s too commercial
9/11 was awful but it’s reassuring to know that we as a country are still stuck on this kind of historical reflection for commemoration
https://youtu.be/BaEtveez2wo?si=FhwiHhJSQUgj7dQj
I am ready for Tom Tupa to be my quarterback by the end of this game!
Because that’s the shit that happens when the Jets have any amount of hype.
Come on Buffalo lets snap some Rodgers ankles.
…..
BANNER!!!!!
Translating for Aaron Rodgers:
Randall Cobb: and if Aaron throws a ball in the dirt, and scowls at you afterwards? That’s on you
Garrett Wilson: ..uh, okay.
Lazard: and if you can’t wrangle a pass because he held onto the ball too long, that’s on you.
Breece Hall: … okay?
Cobb: and if Aaron calls you up on a random Tuesday night to go see magic Mike on broadway, you bet your dumbass is agreeing to it.
beat
All four: Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
pretty sure i spotted a jets tebow jersey
bills 102
jets -26
That cop really had some pipes, yo.
You should see his “Hit The N*******” baton!
I mean, you nag a cop u get wut u get smh
Thank the Lord Jesus that a bunch of fat fucks wearing FDNY t-shirts are here to clap like seals when some reference to 9/11 is made…
Need a 4-ship of B-52s screaming over the stadium at the end of this rendition of the National Anthem.
Fred Schneider would be a great addition agreed
I’m not sure I can imagine a more obnoxious group than overly jingoistic Jets fans.
P*triots fans.
theyre cowboys fans now (again)
FACK YOU NO ONE DENIES THIS
hey aaron rodgers what’s up you dumb bitch
Also, I’m gonna publish some shit through Amazon Kindle Direct. You can say you knew me when.
The dinosaur/human romance novels seem to be popular.
I have some excruciatingly horrible poems i wrote back when i was young.
I’m going to publish them ironically. I mean they are dripping piles of shit.
Presented the right way, I think people would enjoy them.
Hipsters will love them, if you ever do a live reading, do the beatnik fingersnapping thing.
“Presented the right way” is right. But corners can be cut. Take the pitch for narcissists and add “Not!” after each selling point for the self-cutters demo.
That asshole probably dragged the flag on the grounmd while waiting in the tunnel.
As someone who once carried a flag in a fourth of July parade:
Those things are heavier than they look
Whenever I see an American flag hung outside of a house or building and it’s tattered and shredded, I want to walk into the place and explain flag etiquette. Fucking drives me nuts. If you’re going to fly the flag, know the rules.
No, I’m not blind to the sins of our country, but I love her dearly.
This place looks like Studio 54 meets Area 51
Despite being the son her father never had; despite that father being a standout football player; despite being by my side for countless football games; despite my middle son playing football; despite all of the above . . . my wife does not understand a goddamn thing about this goddamn sport.
She is barred from the living room until March 2024.
That’s so funny, in that women tend to generally dig football (if they dig any sport). My ex-wife always said it was the only one where she could at least understand the goddamned point.
Why for such a short time?
Just tell her to stay in the kitchen. What could go wrong with that?
Alright, as I conclude my first opening weekend without cable, I must ask,
Can I get the manning cast on any app?
ESPN+
Lol I already had the manning cast. I didn’t realize they didn’t cover kickoffs
NFL+ is another option
I don’t use the phrase “national hero” lightly, but any reporter who asks Q-aron tonight who HE thinks really did 9/11…
Why dont we have 2 Monday games?
Didn’t they do that the last couple of years?
9/11
they moved that to Week 2
Found Hippos twitter account.
He is a presenter on Radio X in London. I listen to that station all day. Toby is hilarious.
Folks!
Evening.
Qaron and the jets are wearing those 80s/90s jets unis
bills by probably 24
Rich Kotite is probably spinning in his grave.
No idea if he’s dead or just buried alive.
As he deserves to be.
EAGLES LEGEND RICH KOTITE!
I only remember the Jets years, like a battered soldier remembers the horrors of war.
A-A Ron with that giant green helmet:
Qaron wishes he’s kewl like the Great Gazoo! He’s more like Weirdly Gruesome.
.
I loved them. Have you ever heard the song “I Wanna Be a Flintstone?”, by Screaming Blue Messiahs? The Weirdly Grusomes makes a cameo appearance.
I heard that on Sirius a few days ago!
I love Matt Mitchell. He’s awesome:
https://youtu.be/yEKNQdG61ng?si=Ql9Lat8AHpLttBbA
Big Media Narrative That Makes Everyone Feel Good: “Damar Hamlin is going to be the Comeback Player of the Year. YAY!”
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/38377494/damar-hamlin-not-expected-play-bills-opener-sources-say
The cynic in one could say “they just really don’t want to kill him next time” but really it’s more “he was already a backup safety and we thought it was generous leaving him on our health insurance until we quietly cut him mid-season.”
“We love him so much! But Prudential? Eh.”
-Bills HR Director
5 years for AB to go broke? I’ll take the under. Which way do you think he’ll bet it?
Can one be broke in five years if they’re dead in three?
Just like you to muddy the parlays. smh…
He can always be a porn star…
Reminds me of a joke I made a million years ago on Deadspin.
Floyd Mayweather’s house is robbed of $50,000 of “gambling money”
Me: “If he was gambling that his house wouldn’t be robbed, he just lost.”
5 years sounds correct. AB stiffs business partnets. Hell, he could go two years only with IG cross promotions and check-kiting.
months. the word you are looking for is months
Hippo, come teach this man what “under” means