“It’s 4 O’Clock Somewhere” Your Late Slate Open Thread

Shall we do it again?

To The Games!

Giants/Cards:

The Giants fan with his glass half-full (having had to wash down all that heaping helping of humble pie last week) could convince himself that Arizona constitutes the perfect bounce-back opportunity. Everyone will be watching the o-line due to it’s outright shitty performance and the fact that Thomas, the best guy on the line has a hammy issue. Dimes faced pressure on 67% of his pass attempts. Good God. Dobbs fumbled three times last week, so you may not see a qb duel here.

Niners/Rams:

No Jalen Ramsey should mean that Aiyuk should duplicate last week’s numbers and Deebo should get some as well. The dew sure is off the rose (or whatever they say) for Fatt Stafford. Faced with declining play and whispers of some chronic injury concerns, he threw all of zero TD’s last week. Can Puka and Tutu combine again for 200+ yards? My Magic 8 Ball says, “200! 200? Are you kidding me? 200?”.

Jets/Cowboys:

Battle of the Undefeateds! Does anyone believe the Schefter garbage about Rodgers being back this year? Some good news for the Dallas pass rush-Zach’s release time last week was the league’s slowest at 3.29 seconds. Speaking of slow, do you think that he’ll ever figure out that he’s not a difference-maker at this level, that he’s a mere game manager? Anyway, I expect that next week when previewing the Cowboys game I’ll bring up some stat about them having the most sacks after two games since 1985 or some shit.

Commies/Broncos:

Well guess what, Coach Payton didn’t turn around Denver’s moribund offense in one fell swoop. After last week the O has scored 16 or less in 12 of its last 18 outings. Kudos to Sam Howell doing just enough last week to secure a victory. He’s an adequate streaming option and his wily wheels will stand him in good stead as the season progresses. Denver gets the 3.5 homefield spread but the bad news is they are 1-7 as a favorite dating back to last year.

Type away.

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Spur

Giants let the Cards shit on them? Damn they suck.

Spur

Is RAMMMIITTT back?

WCS

them picks been fucked?

King Hippo

YEAH!!! Balls admitted it’s all anyone will talk about at work tomorrow.

Fronkenshteen

A win bet on the commies might be interesting right now. That hit was dirty as fuck and may have lit a fire under Washington’s pass rush. Oops! Lookit that! They just got the two-pointer on review! 21-11.

Spur

Those Jets recovers are gonna jump Zack by week 4 if he keeps this up.

Spur

bring in a backup safety to smack Zack on one of those run slides – its 15 yards but worth it

Dunstan

I haven’t been around today. Has anyone done a wellness check on Redshirt?

Spur
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh boy, Logan Thomas might be ded. This is worse than Rod Tidwell, and I don’t think he’s gonna get up and dance around.

Gatoraids

Jackson thought he was starring in a Logans Run sequel

King Hippo

Yeah, that was pretty dirty by KJ

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bienemy needs to figure out that Rebecca Malone might Be-the-enemy

King Hippo

He needs to start sleeping with him?

Spur

Sean Payton looks bored on that sideline. No way he lasts more then 2 years.

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas getting some early bail out roughing calls. YEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWW, I HAVE THE OFFICIALS FAMILIES LOCKED AWAY IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION!!!! I AM FUCKING CRAZEEEEEEEE!!!!

Spur

Jets are trying the CSU strategy of late hits and cheap shots which the refs keep seeing. Lots of flags out there.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That was a Purdy good QB sneak.

/shows self out

herodotus450

Mike Babcock? More like Mike Babfired amirite?

Dunstan

Columbus GM has to be on this ice, too. He’s the third-longest serving GM in the league, and yet they’ve only won one regular playoff series and the bubble play-in round in like 11 seasons. Take lack of success and add having the poor judgment to hire Babcock, and the ham-fisted way they responded to this issue, and he’d better hope the team does well this year.

herodotus450

Probably figured the team would love Babcock in comparison to Tortorolla

Senor Weaselo

THIS 2023 SEASON, I CALL IT FORMER DODGERS MANAGER CHUCK DRESSEN BECAUSE THE GIANTS IS DEAD.

Fronkenshteen

Anyone else getting Broncos/Commies? This is a rout.

WCS

the sweet siren call of #PILLZ beckons once again

Fronkenshteen

Hippo must be in the the denial stage of giddy right now.

King Hippo

Is Hippo getting angry now? You better BELIEVE it, Other Hippo!

Fronkenshteen

Fear not. This is where Payton earns that paycheck.

King Hippo

all he cares about is stuffing his fat fucking face. That fat fuck.

WCS

MILF Hunter Z on the prowl.

ThePirateSloth

I’m kinda surprised I’m not seeing the Rams/49ers game, considering it is more relevant to NFC West and Oregon than the fucking Jets/Cowboys.

Surprised and annoyed, because shut the fuck up Tony, you shouldn’t be announcing a game with your former team.

Spur

You will watch Dallas play and like it

ballsofsteelandfury

How many times has he used the word “we”?

Last edited 1 year ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Gatoraids

only solace is you know Aikman has to be grinding his teeth at missing covering Dallas every week

Horatio Cornblower

I doubt Aikman still remembers who he played for. Or that he played.

Gatoraids

“Russell wilson dropping dimes” in Denver sharing someone in common with everyone rostering Jones next week

King Hippo

What is the NFL record for most points surrendered before scoring a point of one’s own? We are at 57 for Big Blue, with Qards near red zone.

WCS

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Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
King Hippo

I saw an article recommending NYG in Survivor Pool this week (if wanted to fade the DAL game). Just…wow.

litre_cola

I went with Dallas.

Gumbygirl

Me too.

Mr. Ayo

I went with NYG. I am SMRT

Mr. Ayo

Never a doubt!

King Hippo

Watch out, Los Angeles! A new wave of RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! fever might be brewing…

ballsofsteelandfury

Have you looked at the stadium? It’s all red!

King Hippo

must be a credit card company giveaway or sommet

ballsofsteelandfury

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Senor Weaselo

Man, I haven’t been so disappointed in a pair of New York teams since about mid-July or so.

blaxabbath

“…also he’s divorced so he’s not really a part of his family.”

Way better than Boomer.

blaxabbath

The Todd Packer / Email Forward King episode of The Office is on.

I’ve tried checking on the Cardinals game a couple times but they’ve been on commercial both times.

yeah right

What happens when you have a TV with no access to an NFL feed?

You spend 2 minutes watching a Japanese travelog about a place who’s specialty is marionettes.

Turn it off already!
Jesus.

ballsofsteelandfury

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King Hippo

I have to mute the TV everytime RedZone flips to Romo blowing the N-GCp. Getting on my last good nerve.

ThePirateSloth

Damn, the friend who was at the game with me last week caught covid and has been very sick all week. I’ve tested myself multiple times and been negative, so has the Mrs Sloth, though I took every precaution I could. Makes me not want to go to anymore games with this latest covid surge. Mrs and I ain’t caught it yet, and going to more games feels like pushing my luck.

WCS

I don’t know if I should +1 this or not.

Gumbygirl

I +1 ‘d it in a yay for negative tests kind of way!

WCS

Sure, let’s go with that.

litre_cola

Government of Alberta approved!

blaxabbath

He got it from a salt shaker.

King Hippo

Rebecca Malone has NO feel for the pass rush. Should have fumbled at least twice already, defies physics that (s)he hasn’t.

litre_cola

So Antonio Gibson is no longer a thing. I wish that I had learned that last year.

Gatoraids

Turn out a Gibson could not shake a tackle or your love

Gumbygirl

Fake!

King Hippo

Oof, some regression was expected, but the Vertically Enhanced Persons just might be ass.

litre_cola

I picked a bad week to stream the Giants Defense.

Senor Weaselo

Same!

Spur

Zack stayed on his back like a dog after the sack. He’s letting Micah assert dominance over him

WCS

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ArmedandHammered

Because I was not using them, my wife filled MY chest of drawers with her clothes, this is on top of all the drawers in the guest rooms are filled with her clothes, 4 walk in closets stuffed with her clothes, and her own drifts of clothes in our bedroom. In our bedroom, she has a large chest of drawers and and dresser being only for her clothes. I have 4 ft. of hanging space in a 15 foot deep walk in closet. And when I said something, she just says “Yeah, I know”.

ArmedandHammered

I just got the, maybe you should get rid of the stuff that does not fit. Sigh.

King Hippo

I very much do not recommend you tossing THAT ONE back!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Maybe the Rams shouldn’t talk trash to CMC after a 50 yard run. It’s like a sheep talking trash after getting sheared.

Gatoraids

they know they wont be trashing talk by end of game so have to get it ain awhile its close

Spur

TD Dallas, alright here we go. What we came to watch, will the Dallas Defense shred the Mormon magic undies

Gumbygirl

I feel durty, but I’m all in for Jerrah’s kids this week.

Spur

Help is on the way
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BugEyedBoo

What musician didn’t, back then.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Giants OLine is more coinpurse than pocket.

Spur

Rodgers stay in New York for Fleet Week or traveled with the team to Dallas?

Gumbygirl

He went to the airport with them, but the Hare Krishnas lured him away with their tambourines.

blaxabbath

Tried and true method is to just race down the beanstalk.

blaxabbath

Man the Giants have the simplest uniform scheme and they go with that stupid helmet logo?

Spur

RAMMIITT already killed a man

blaxabbath

NO FUN LEAGUE!!!

litre_cola
ThePirateSloth
fleshwound_NPG

you mean atlanta didnt fuck up a close game?

Redshirt

.

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Spur

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Gatoraids

same face checking the fantasy matchup and see they have higgins against you in wr2

WCS
blaxabbath

The 1:30pm Comedy Central slot is the Season 1 Dundies episode of The Office.

I don’t think I’ll see DAL’s first four sacks today.

WCS

THE OL’ DOUBLE J KNOWS ALL ABOUT BUSHIEST BEAVER AWARDS LEMME TELL YA
WHAT COCAINE AND WHORES AND WHISKEY ALL AROUND YEEEEEEEE—-FFUCCKIN-HHHAWWWWWWWW I AM CRAZZZZZYYYYY

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Houston said you really don’t notice any after the first 50 sacks

WCS

(silently stares into the void while Jello drips from the corner of mouth)

— David C., parts unknown