Your Overlapping Monday Night Football Games Open Thread

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I read somewhere that the broadcaster is tinkering around with starting times to see if there’s any difference in viewership numbers. Has anyone read anything else on the subject? I’m curious to know. I do like the option of having a less sucky option should the circumstances warrant it.

Fallout:

-Lots of injuries: Saquon has a regular ankle (not high) sprain and will be out a few weeks. (do not waste your time picking up other backfield Giants) Montgomery has a thigh bruise, Anthony Richardson has a cabeca (for all of those readers in Portugal at the moment) issue, same with Waddle, OBJ has some ankle issue, Mooney got himself a knee but says he’ll play, Logan Thomas was done dirty and Edmonds is on IR.

-Giants Lead The League!…in negative point differential with -37. The Bears are 2nd with -28.

-Does Sack Wilson make it to the 6 game mark? I don’t think so, not with a few more 12-27 outings with 3 turnovers to boot. Is he that bad? He seems so…unprepared.

-The Day I Became a Puka Truther: 20 targets! 35 after two weeks! That kid can get separation. Kudos to those that took a flier on him after last week. There’s another wr rook doing well but he’s flying under the radar and that’s Tank Dell. (I hope to grab him in Math Hard! league, so leave him alone!) Houston will be behind all year so he should get lots of action if his puny 165lb frame holds up. (it won’t)

-That field goal by McVay, meaningless and yet so meaningful for the bettors out there. My tinfoil hat is giving me a hard stare.

To The Games!

Saints/Panthers:

-Olave and Thomas and Shaheed should do quite well given that cb Jaycee Horn is out.

-Bryce Young was a struggle squirrel vs Atl last week. Wait until he sees an even better defensing unit. He says the team needs chunk plays to get over the hump tonight so let’s see him air it out.

-I keep forgetting that Derek Carr plays for the Saints-speaking of ‘chunks’, he had 5 passing plays of over 20 yards and 2 over 40.

-Remember, this is an NFC South ‘showdown’, anyone can win this division.

Browns/Steelers:

-Thinking of playing the money line? Guess what Pitt’s record at home on Monday Night is over their last twenty games? That’s right, 20-0.

Diontae is out of this one but Amari indicated he could perhaps play today. We’ll see.

-Seven games into his Browns career and Deshaun has impressed no one. When pressured his sack rate is 30.7%, 4th-worse in the league. When he isn’t staring at the stars he’s connecting to  teammates at a 20 for 52 rate.

-With Heyward out and the Steelers giving up 5.5 ypc last week, expect huge amounts of Chubb. Cleveland ran for 200+ last week.

There you are.

 

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LemonJello

Who is the Stillers backup QB?

WCS

HE LOVES TITTAYS

Mr. Ayo

Truth Biscuit, lol

jjfozz

What do you think Marshawn Lynch does all day? Whatever it is, I wish I could do it too.

WCS

Your classic NFL 16-11 score.

Sharkbait

My scorigami sense is tingling

fleshwound_NPG

nobody makes sucking 95% of the time and be excellent 5% of the time, then make that 5% of the time count way more somehow, than the stillers

jjfozz

THIS GAME, I CALL IT A BAD DAY IN DESHAUN’S WATSON’S WORLD BECAUSE IT’S RUBBING ME THE WRONG WAY

LemonJello

Bob Kraft nods in solidarity with his fellow rub-n-tug aficionado.

SonOfSpam

At least the Browns acquired a chub before they lost one.

jjfozz

THE NEW IPHONE IS MADE OF TITANIUM!!!!!! GO STAND IN LINE AND BUY IT YOU FUCKTARDS

Sharkbait

If I was to get one, I wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it being made of part me. (I have a titanium rod and 6 screws in my leg)

SonOfSpam

Does the titanium rod still pee the same?

litre_cola

It’s no inanimate rod.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And thus it cannot be trusted.

SonOfSpam

Fucking psyched for that Toy Story football game. Can finally beat it to Bo Peep while watching football, cross that off the bucket list.

WCS

You should probably know most of us can read.

SonOfSpam

lol sure you naive optimistic pollyanna

LemonJello

“Yeah, totally. Reading is important!”
–Lea Michelle

jjfozz

Bo Peep, more like Bo Cheap, she did everyone in that toy box.

fleshwound_NPG

zach wilson’s career QB1 status

SonOfSpam

When you run a Mormon through a wood chipper, the goo that comes out is still Mormon?

Gumbygirl

Mormish.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I and I would be likin’ some mormon…” – Deanna Favre, on vacation in Jamaica

WCS

comment image

Still not sold on Uncle Jack.

fleshwound_NPG

a touched down has finally been achieved in aints/cats

LemonJello

I thought Darnold played in San Francisco now.

jjfozz

I had a 10 minute conversation with my mother today that didn’t end in an argument or hang up. Probably because I didn’t mention anything about the memory care facility.

SonOfSpam

If you’re forgetting to bring up important topics like that, I know a place where you can get the help you need.

jjfozz

Well, she had her treatment for her skin cancer – which is going great – so I decided not to bring it up.

SonOfSpam

Well, damn…glad to hear THAT’S going well at least.

SonOfSpam

what is?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I hope one of these teams loses by a rouge.

jjfozz

“DeShaun, those are your stats for the game, we’re not massaging the numbers.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why would they call that, it’s not like DeShaun believes in illegal use of hands?

Mr. Ayo

Maybe this Monday the NFL is celebrating 9/11 by showing two disasters with a slight time offset?

fleshwound_NPG

last week was a tribute to 9/11

this week its two disasters going on at the same time (afghanistan/iraq)

blaxabbath

Jj Watt should be on the battlefield, not in the studio.

Sharkbait

Cleveland to Kareem Hunt right about now

https://youtu.be/Mmm3KTa601s?si=DKAFDDNXFfQ6Sh0C

King Hippo

I have him rostered in my deep league!

Spur

WTF! Buck teases us with the injury replay then doesnt show it. We want to see it ALL!

jjfozz

DOn’t you ever put the image in my head of Buck teasing me. It makes me feel like punching myself in the face with a rubber mallet.

jjfozz

Knees are not made to move into that position. Brutal.

King Hippo

When you see a guy shake his head like that, oof.

Except when it was Q-aron because he can get right fucked

blaxabbath

“Mine can praise Christ.”

-Kristi Noem, 21st Century Blowjob Queen

fleshwound_NPG

bootleg backdoor 7-eleven that serves original four loko

King Hippo

The BIG CONVENIENCE STORE fix is in!

SonOfSpam

Saddest Chubb situation since Favre texted Jenn Sterger.

Brick Meathook

That sounds Theismann-level

Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

Chubb went down harder and faster than ol’DubbleJ when the coke and viagra wear off.

King Hippo

GREAT. Dead Chubb, in the no-bench league.

litre_cola

I lost Williams and Chubb today in my $$$ league. Rodgers and Diontae last week. Apparently Hopkins is hobbled too. It’s all coming up Milhouse.

King Hippo

Imagine how hard God must be fucking with Brocky!

Brick Meathook

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fleshwound_NPG

CLE/PIT reminds you:

preseason: fake preseason
weeks 1-4: actual preseason
weeks 5-16: actual regular season quality football
weeks 16-18: resting players/tanking

Sharkbait

Not till hockey season starts

King Hippo

What is the longest playoff drought in major North American sports, Alex?

litre_cola

The Canadian Senate is by far the biggest waste of money.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I would still recommend Aussie rules football replays

Gumbygirl

Not a catch.

litre_cola

What is a catch?

LemonJello

Good lord, both of these teams should be immediately executed, on the field if necessary.

LemonJello

Yes.

King Hippo

OH MY GOD, what a game. Everyone is on peyote.

Brick Meathook

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fleshwound_NPG

fiber supplements help, guys

King Hippo

That announcement was “we really don’t want to measure this shit but probably it was short”

Gumbygirl

Jesus Christ, we won a challenge!

fleshwound_NPG

my local abc affiliate in indy is, once again, broken. they used to broadcast nba finals games in, i swear, 540p and say HD. you could count the pixels on the scoreboard

every 2-3 seconds the game freezes like 2006 youtube

fleshwound_NPG

even the commercials are freezing so its not mickey mouse’s fault. fat humps cant run a tv station to save its life

LemonJello

Probably just a little gravy spill on the control board.

King Hippo

If Coach Epps wins this gonzo challenge…we should make him emperor

WCS

Welp.

King Hippo

FARE is FARE, all hail Emperor Epps!

Brick Meathook

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clint greasewood

The Cleveland Whites
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King Hippo

Jesus, did I even break 50?

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO STORY – Hippo will only put fruit/compote or honey on his waffles. Honey or molasses on pancakes.

/this is why I am on Canadia’s “no fly” list

BC Dick

Cheez whiz and syrup on waffles. That’s the good stuff.

litre_cola

Your family is weird.

BC Dick

You just have bad taste. Don’t even appreciate aquavit and herring.

Gumbygirl

I will occasionally put fruit on pancakes, but waffles require, nay, they DEMAND maple syrup!

King Hippo

Am I supposed to know who this fat fuck in the Door Dash ads is?

Brick Meathook

“Matt Canada” is the most Canadian name since Gaspard LaFarge

fleshwound_NPG

Gordie NoStanleyCups

King Hippo

Thicc Punter!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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herodotus450

Four sex pests on the field!? I’m seein’ double here.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

fuck, now I want waffles. And the nukular briefcase

jjfozz

The Cleveland Browns could fuck up a cup of black coffee, served on the floor

LemonJello

Isn’t that known as a Baltimore Espresso?

King Hippo

Told ya. MAXIMUM #ThePauls, they’s gonna keep on Pauling, too

LemonJello

CLE-PIT is going to be decided by the defenses, it seems.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Huh. Are you sure it’s not going to be decided by THE NARRATIVE?

/just kidding, even THE NARRATIVE doesn’t include Cleveland