Sexy Friday – 20230922

TGIF! Everyone do a quick walk around their property in case the military left some equipment there.

Survival – Personal Edition

One of the favoUrite and fun tactics for companies is saving money. And one of the best ways for them to do it is with layoffs. Good for them, bad for you. If you want to be laid off, just quit. Otherwise, read on!

  • Volunteer and do the thankless tasks around the office. Handle and sort the incoming mail, be the printer toner person, clean the refrigerator, etc. Any minor task no one wants to do, take it. Wait, this is very much how I got the responsibility of doing this weekly blog.
  • Coordinate social events. No one wants to herd cats, and no one is excited about work events. But this is your lane now. Get the birthday cards and go around to get everyone to sign it. Schedule those picnics, parties, and holiday gatherings. While doing this, you should also be building a database of contacts for these events and suppliers. Store that where and how only you can access it.
  • Is there a company newsletter? Write for it and have your name on the byline. Is there a company event with open speaking slots? Take it and babble on for a bit. Seems intimidating but no one really cares what you’re saying.
  • If there are public areas that require keys or cards or access codes, volunteer to be the holder of those access pieces. Also make sure you properly secure them under lock and key that only you have access to.
  • Keep a small toolkit at your desk and become the handy man around the office. Someone’s desk squeaks? No need to file a request with maintenance, you’ll take care of it right now.
  • Wear glasses. This is so stupid and yet, it actually works. Your co-workers will think you’re smarter than you are.

Congrats! You survived the latest rounds of layoffs. Now you’ve got more work and no increased pay! Good job.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Mr. Ayo
Conscripted content miner
Subscribe
Notify of
101 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Horatio Cornblower

Down below I mentioned Ministry dog-walking Jane’s Addiction off the stage at a Lollapalooza show back in the early 90’s. On further reflection I’m pretty sure that a) I’m drunk, and b) Jane’s Addiction didn’t play that tour. I think Perry was still the driving force behind the tour and I know the headliner was Red Hot Chili Peppers, who basically suck to begun with.

Ministry was on right before them and did a cover of Black Sabbath’s ‘Supernaut’ that blew the place up. I’m talking mosh pits all over an outdoor amphitheater, sod flying everywhere, just absolute insanity. I took a chunk off the head and back out of the pit, then had to go back in and carry a friend out when he decided to crowd surf in a pit on the steps lawn of an amphitheater, with predictable results. His hip hurts when it rains to this day.

After that RHCP came out and flea played the bass while Kedis yelled about California or something. It was a nice way to calm down from the all-out assault Ministry had launched.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GciumdYNYWU

I mean, good fucking luck following that.

ballsofsteelandfury

I saw that show when it was in LA. Ministry was by far the best band on that stage.

Horatio Cornblower

Their CDs/albums/(whatever, I’m old), are at best OK, but seeing them live is a must. Having to follow them at a festival is an absolutely thankless job.

ballsofsteelandfury

The thing that amazes me is how they changed from a New Wave band with great songs to a metal/industrial band with songs that are perfect for concerts.

I’d say listen to the early stuff on CD/tape and the later stuff live.

Last edited 1 year ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Brick Meathook

The chain-link fence is a nice touch

Gumbygirl
Horatio Cornblower

Yankees announcers talking about ‘Ante Up’ as walk-up music.

This is obligatory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bHJSOfi1cI

WCS

BAWH GAWD KING THAT’S WCS’ POTHEAD WVU YEARS MUSIC

Horatio Cornblower

Just got back from the Grace Potter show. As requested I went up to Ms. Potter and said “Son of Spam says hi.”

Security immediately grabbed me, beat about the head and neck, stapled a restraining order to my buttocks, and tossed me into the river. So that went well.

Also they had two working bathrooms in the place. The line for the women’s room was long enough to satisfy Deanna Favre, while the men’s room was pretty much open as needed. Mrs. Horatio and friend go to the bathroom.

Later, after she’s rejoined me in the crowd, women keep coming up to her, thanking her, offering to buy her drinks, (she does not drink, although I was willing to take the drinks), and I am wondering what the hell she’s done now. It turns out she stood in front of the men’s room and started directing the line, making the men alternate with women and getting the women’s line down to nothing within the first two songs before finally leaving. One girl asked her how she could do that and Mrs. Horatio looked at her and said “I’m a Mom. This is nothing.”

SonOfSpam

She’s a keeper!

Also, should have warned you…don’t say “hi” because that means I’ve rejected her. If you said “He says what’s up” you probably woulda been blown.

Horatio Cornblower

She’s so far out of my league it’s not even funny. She doesn’t drink now. Thank Xenu she did that night we met.

Brick Meathook

Hmm . . . I wonder if you too are talking about the same person.

SonOfSpam

Hey those of us who married above our station know what’s up.

2Pack

Continuous head nod…

SonOfSpam

The night we met, my wife brought a pitcher over to our table (was with a buddy), and said “Looks like you could use this” and yeah, I was smitten.

Horatio Cornblower

My wife’s line was something like “hope you don’t mind if I smoke, because I’m going to anyway”

SonOfSpam

Steve Martin’s comeback to “Mind if I smoke?” was “No. Mind if I fart?”

Horatio Cornblower

Also Steve Martin: “There must be 57 tits up there!”

Brick Meathook

comment image
comment image
comment image

SonOfSpam

(fapping)

Brick Meathook

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sorry dude, but the person who does all the little things but not a real job….they go first.

Horatio Cornblower

My secret is being the guy willing to do meetings and depositions in maximum security prisons. They’ll never get rid of me.

Of course, there is a potentially horrible downside to that approach.

Brick Meathook

My secret is to always treat my employers like shit. They figure I must know something (I don’t).

Horatio Cornblower

There’s absolutely something to this. We get our files audited every year and I’ve made it clear that I’ve never read my audit scores and do not give a fuck about them.

No one is ever quite sure what to do about that.

2Pack

Well done as usual Mr. Ayo. Here’s a front view of the ladies in picture number 7.
I’m meeting them up at Oktoberfest next weekend.

FB_IMG_1695406769763.jpg
Brocky

Alright, let’s try this again:

Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society….

ballsofsteelandfury

Hot Damn!

2Pack

The first lady has my attention. Ouch.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My favorites were #3 and #13

Brocky

For thirteen, the one on the beach or the one with the present?

Brick Meathook

Girl #3 looks like she’s about to pee on the floor.

Game Time Decision

Does that cost extra?
-some former guy

King Hippo

yeah, looks like

Brocky

Girl #9 looks like she’s about to pee in the ocean

Senor Weaselo

She thought it was the music video for Get Schwifty.

herodotus450

I don’t care if all their songs sound the same. tWBS was right about Green Day being awesome.

King Hippo

DUDE!

WCS

Green Day up to about, and including, Warning was good.

Horatio Cornblower

Green Day is pretty much the definition of ‘meh’

Gumbygirl

I don’t know about awesome, but I agree that some of their shit is catchy as hell. They aren’t punk though.

Brocky

WordPress is doing that stupid thing where it won’t let me edit comments. Go ahead and disapprove it, full of broke links

Brocky

Stupid word press
Some technical problems here

Spoiler

comment image
comment image
comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

That is fricken awesome!

Brocky

Stupid reddit changing their site

Brocky

C

Last edited 1 year ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Brocky

Lol, nice edit. WordPress was saying “you post too fast” every time I tried

herodotus450

Writing a new fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw: Jokes from Grandma, here’s what i’ve got so far:
Wife-beater: a t-shirt
Man-beater: crossign route
Woman-beater: a Platinum recording artist 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Game Time Decision

As it’s Friday of the sexy, here’s the a Nelly Furtato version instead of the Hall and Oats one
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PLolag3YSYU&pp=ygUIbWFuZWF0ZXI%3D

herodotus450

Sometimes it’s important to check out what the kids are into, some new music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aME0qvhZ37o

Gumbygirl

I fucking love this!

Brick Meathook

Glenn Miller was shot down over the English Channel by the RAF because they thought he was Yamamoto.

scotchnaut

Talking Heads were so different for quite some time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTezUIuJHTw&ab_channel=Monalisapower

Last edited 1 year ago by scotchnaut
scotchnaut

Buddy and I way back when bought tickets to see Dire Straits live. The opening act was a nobody by the name of Stevie Ray Something or Other.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfjXp4KTTY8&ab_channel=stevierayvaughnVEVO

WCS

This version is legit in my personal playlist.

Tommy Shannon is overlooked as a bassist.

King Hippo

Battle trying to impress Donks scouts with that Terrell Davis Mile High Salute!

Brick Meathook

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I wish I could +1 this many more times.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sure you’ll find another way to leave your mark* on it.

*DNA

King Hippo

Dunno if DonT ever pays attention to JV, but teh Wolven Sort punter just rocked one for 70+

WCS

Future Tits first-round draft selection punter!

King Hippo

We go LIVE to Tits Draft HQ, a Burger King in San Juan, PR….

WCS

comment image
(artist’s rendering)

scotchnaut
scotchnaut
King Hippo

Did you ever see these guys live? Always regretted not doing so. Soundgarden, even deeper regret.

SonOfSpam

Seen em twice. Very good live. But the more I hear about Perry Farrell being a creep, the less I retroactively enjoyed the shows.

King Hippo

And every story I hear about Chris Cornell seems to be positive. Just a really decent, nice guy. So, you know which got ded.

scotchnaut

Didn’t see them live but I think I heard Soundgarden doing Hey Jude in Barrie Ontario way back when. It was fucking glorious.

Horatio Cornblower

I saw them once at Lollpalooza. I was not terribly impressed, but if my increasingly shitty memory is correct they had to follow an absolutely insane show from Ministry.

Redshirt

https://dailysnark.com/2023/09/22/rb-joe-mixon-takes-snaps-at-qb-at-cincinnati-bengals-practice-amid-joe-burrow-injury/

This is not a drill, people! This shittrain is threatening to go sideways Monday night.

King Hippo

OH PLEASE GOD HIPPO WANT!!!

Gumbygirl

Jesus.

ballsofsteelandfury

I heard this song for the first time in a LONG time today. So many good memories!

https://youtu.be/7ZgtKt8K3ho?si=PLmHyi4tGu9iKtQX

King Hippo

Burning sensation? Brings back memories for me, too. – Mark S., Los Angeles, CA

ballsofsteelandfury

“Any minor task no one wants to do, take it. Wait, this is very much how I got the responsibility of doing this weekly blog.”

I wouldn’t call it a minor task…

blaxabbath

“And that’s why it’s not a task I’d be interested in paying a handler to have sex with!”

-M Gaetz, Budget Expert

scotchnaut

Posting the 7 minute version even though the 13 minute might just blow your mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmHzSxaifbU&ab_channel=BBCMusic

scotchnaut

Side note: Adam Granduciel has not aged gracefully and I hope it’s because he’s lost in the music.

King Hippo

If by music you mean heroine? PROBABLY!

SonOfSpam

Luckily, I have no interest in his appearance or health.

Good tunes though.

herodotus450

chicks man

scotchnaut

It’s been such a tough week at work and next week promises to be worse. I may just impose upon you fellers live versions of songs that I like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIgIgojL7Ns&ab_channel=SadeVEVO

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO STORY! I coined my favorite NC State nickname for placement man Niklas Sade. Smooth Operator.

blaxabbath

Layoffs?

blaxabbath

Damn my Dale Gribble gif didn’t work!

scotchnaut

Nope. Two guys that take care of day-to-day issues are off so I have to climb down from my Ivory Tower and fix dumb shit that is simple to do but takes a lot of time.

King Hippo

Who’s been culling the local homeless then??

King Hippo

The first and the last and the smoker OH MY!!

ballsofsteelandfury

First has a smoldering stare. Good God!

King Hippo

RIGHT? I always, always fall for that.

ballsofsteelandfury

That cliff shot is magnificent!