I don’t know who is playing footy but that should take care of itself in the comments. This is late so here we go…
To The Games!
Colts/Ravens:
You wouldn’t think it but Indy is only allowing 2.6 ypc so far. Expect that stat to be nudged upward by 4pm EST. Zay Flowers has 13 receptions after two weeks and all other Ravens wr’s have 16.
Titans/Browns:
Both these teams defend the run very well and each are getting less than adequate play at the qb spot so maybe expect this tilt to be a slog. Hey, KHunt is back in the mix!
Broncos/Fins:
Miami’s passing game (355 yards per) should continue to cruise even though Waddle is a no-show. Denver has Surtain but as a team they’re 23rd in defending the pass. So use that Braxton Berrios, you know you want to. Horsey’s are staring at 0-3.
Pats/Jets:
New England has won 14 straight and the beatings will continue until the Jets qb situation improves.
Bills/Commies:
Washington giveth and taketh in equal measure just as God herself intended. They’ve accumulated 12 sacks but have surrendered the same amount. They’ll need to keep Allen in the pocket (a tough ask) because he generates a number of positive plays outside it.
Falcons/Lions:
If you thought McCaffrey was the rb with the most catches you’d be mistaken. Bijan is the safety valve with the mostest. Detroit is down a few linemen so Gibbs has his work cut out for him. I’m curious to see if Atlanta’s 2-0 record has any substance behind it.
Saints/Packers:
Tony Brown, fresh off the practice squad, had himself a day last week with the two TD’s. With Williams on IR and Kamara away for another week I wonder how much we’ll see of rook rb Kendre Miller.
Texans/Jags:
How to destroy a young qb’s career. First what you want to do is pile up as many injuries on the o-line as possible so that he gets sacked 11 times in two games. (though he hasn’t thrown a pickeroo yet!) The Texans have a decent pressure rate so maybe Lawrence (44% when the cows come home) will struggle a bit.
Chargers/Vikes:
Somebody gonna get in the win column. All the positive juju that got used by Minny last year has evaporated and the underlying stats have come home to roost. Akers is in town now but big deal-this O runs thru JJ, Hockey and Addison.
Have at it.
4th and 1, shotgun draw is dumdumdum
Aaaand that’s game.
It’s very clear who DOINK favored today.
@Dok if you’re listening I apologize, this seems to be getting out of hand.
I was just sidetracked by an older German gentleman who came and talked to me about immigrants so whatever is getting out of hand is probably comparatively okay
“Immigrants getting out of hand is the nightmare that wakes me up at night!”
-R. Kraft
Looking at the score in Miami… I think Hippo should watch something a bit more cheerful to get his mind off this.. Something lighter-hearted like Straw Dogs or Schindler’s list
Requiem for A Defense
Elmer’s Glue Instructional Video
Vikings going down like its a boat race to Valhalla
“going down on a boat, you say…”
-fred smoot
Holy Pitt-man!
One missed field goal and suddenly Ravens have no faith in Tucker’s superhuman kicking range.
Super excited for Colts – Ravens tie….
Man, those matte purple Vikes helmets continue to be gorgeous.
[insert “purple helmet’ joke here]
No one has gone down this much in Miami since Deep Throat
What the fuck Bolts? Is Staley trying to get fired?
Dolphins have to end this with the most spiteful field goal in history
Did Peyton say something about McDaniel’s mother?
McDaniel took some bath salts and is now eating Sean Payton’s face
clots coach proving football coaches cant have an iq over 75
Zay Flowers for Algernon
…the fuck was that, Dolts?!
69?!
NICE
Justin Tucker is human!
Rocky, hes not human hes like a piece of iron – YouTube
goddamned receiver slid instead of diving forward
Next thread is up, Silly Billy’s
Who are you calling “Billy”?
Paper Lace?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c82thy_x1M8&ab_channel=Sanremoandmore
bwhahahahaha announcers hyping up justin tucker and too short!
I swear one of them said “Jason Tucker.”
hilarious prevent defense by the clots
Who is drunk at 10 AM??? MEEEEEEEE!
“I’d be disappointed if you weren’t.”
-B. Kavanaugh, Wash, DC
Juju and Judon on the same team sounds like what Louis Farrakhan calls his lawyer team
Daniel lettings Broncos score so he get the offense back on the field to go for the offensive record
This some NFL Blitz shit now.
63-13
has to be a scorigami
It is and is it a near certainty we’re getting a scorigami.
Beat me to it.
63-20!
70-20
Donald Parham is the new 2020 Robert Tonyan.*
*so far he’s scored 17 TD’s in his career, 11 of them occurred in that year.
This has been the worst defeat of Washington since George surrendered Fort Necessity.
Hmmm, Irish sports bar 22 minute walk away,far busier than normal according to google maps though, and booze is free on the boat… Still tempting, I’ll decide when I finish my pastis
Freezer Vodka Update: DonT has Keenan Allen, who has 16 receptions for just under 200 yards. I’m going to carve “Game Over” into the maple tree in my yard.
Jordan Love with some much needed self-love.
Judon is what Uncle Ed used to call the owner of the Clippers
fat hump fans really confused that they have to cheer for somebody that’s gay
/Mike Pence gets the strangest semi
ACHTUNG!!! SAFETY DANCE!!!!
Sweet mother of piss, Clots…
0-3 start gives Peyton the ammo to bench Charmslinger and start Stidham against the shitty Bears and Jets.
Broncos Country, let’s try (for next year)
Broncos Country, Let’s Cry!
That Chargers catch was in DOINK’s realm, right?
Zay Flowers baits the Humps into a game-sealing facemask? NOPE. GUH
running a damn jet sweep on 3rd down, ballmore deserves that missed call
56-13
37-0
27-3
This are all ongoing scores.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiSNkIaJi_U&ab_channel=PapitodaSilva
I just need Washington to get some junk time scoring to secure my win.
ORLOVSKY!
Scotchy starts Tank Dell, buck-fitty and a score. That is “engrave on tombstone” worthy.
I picked up Achane because he’s projected to have more points over the course of the rest of the year than Perine.
If I had known they were all this week I would have started him as my flex over Judge Jeudy.
Saints have a new Dome Patrol: a cadre of toothless women offering blowjobs by Lake Ponchartrain
Honestly, what the fuck is MIA doing? It’s Week 3, they’re up 30+ points in the 4th, McDaniel’s still showing off new plays and their MULTI-CONCUSSION QB is still in?
*MULTI-BACK-SPASMS
(fixed it for you)
My buddy just said that!!!
I’m not your buddy, guy.
Listen pal…
Charmslinger still in the game, down 43.
aaaaannnnnddddd a starting OT down now
Let Russ Cope
Vikes/Chargers is pretending to be a watchable game but despite the close score, I’m not fooled.
minshewmania orlovskysafety!
Minshew just Orlosky’d
Oh, that’s delightful.
JLove has entered “F— it, I’m throwing it deep!” territory.
Seriously, when did an NFL squadron last hit 70?
1966, Washington R(stactis)ns.
List of highest-scoring NFL games – Wikipedia
I was -7 then, no wonder I don’t remember the game
Washington seems to have gotten a week start on the shutdown