You know, I’ve decided that if being able to chose between two games on Monday is the tradeoff for only having three games in the 4 O’clock skinny window, then I’m good with that.
Fallout:
-A ton of stuff happened yesterday but the most buzz seemed to be around The Kelce/Tay Squared rumors being confirmed. Did you see the look of joy on Ms. Swift’s face when her new man scored. Lip readers are saying that she yelled, “He did A Football!” That’s sweet.
-This is the cynical/morbid thing I did in my auction league. I drafted Quentin Johnson with the hope that either Keenan Allen or Mike Williams would go down with an injury and the latter only took until the 3rd week of the season to do right by me. He’s out for the year with a busted ACL.
-The Siren Song of the Bench: That’s what the Wilson Boys (Russ and Zach) are hearing according to many folks. Russell can’t be pegged for that loss but at some point Payton has to be seen as doing something to get the Horseys going, right?
-Kudos to the Texans and their upset. I was puzzled by Stroud’s proclamation of, “I’m nobody’s fish!” Huh?
To The Games!
Eagles/Bucs:
-I don’t think anyone expected Tampa to be 2-0 but here we are. Perhaps Mayfield is resurrecting his career, perhaps this is a wee blip and he’ll start turning the ball over on a regular basis again.
-Their O/U for wins was 6.5 and they’re a 1/4 of the way there.
-Philly should put the petal to the metal and get things done. That would be great for them given that all their divisionmates lost in Week 3.
-Tampa’s secondary is going to help them along because Carlton Davis is hobbled and Jamel Dean is giving up an atrocious 156.2 passer rating so far this year.
Rams/Bengals:
-Burrow is a gametimer and if he can’t go virgin qb Jake Browning will be thrown into the volcano.
-They say it’s a pain management issue so I’m thinking Joe’s a go. But this is a no-win situation. If he aggravates it more and has to sit, fans will be up in arms. But let’s remember that Cincy is 0-2 and needs a positive result badly.
-Does Puka keep it going? He’s already questionable and I think it’s just because he’s getting hit so often. Still, his yards receiving prop is 63.5 which seems like easy pickings.
Enjoy.
Mixon TD! Can’t beat that!
-though several NFL players would try
I’d say Mixon’s decision to bounce that run back outside was one of the worst decisions I’ve seen, but I think we all know Mixon’s made some worse decisions.
Looks like he has more success by cutting inside. That’ll probably cause some bigger legal issues for him.
“tell me about it!”
-r. lewis
This Chase kid for the Bengals seems like he’s good at the football.
Welp that four yard pass to AJ Brown on 4th down is the difference between me winning and losing this week. Did God mistake me for Brocky?
Didn’t atone hard enough.
So by not scoring a touchdown with hurts there, I’m going win my first matchup of the season by a hair
9-9 tie? (would be another scorigami!)
Oh let’s GO!
Dodgers are up 3 on the Reds. Hope Cincinnati can string together some runs and make this closer.
/Monkey’s paw curls
//Joe Burrow’s right UCL joint spontaneously explodes
///Reds score 14 straight
Scorigami!
scorigami!
O/U on how many questions SVP asks Jason Kelce about Taylor Swift is set at 3.
UNDER. SVP will just ask one.
Kinda what I think, but setting the O/U at 2 seemed stupid.
“Bro! She is a freak in the sheets, I mean, she did things I didn’t know was possible, like*”
*cuts to commercial
Mike McDaniel is a dorky-looking guy in any profession, but the fact that he is a winning head football coach commanding roided-up players twice his size is pretty amazing.
Aqua and Orange Cassidy
Micah Parsons should get MVP just for this.
https://twitter.com/MicahhParsons11/status/1706443416790347959
Also someone retweeted this and said “sounds like something John Hinkley would say” and that was also really funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3p7rKRoV20&ab_channel=Medlakey
“RAMMIT!” – Britt Reid’s internal monologue upon seeing a car stopped on the side of the road
I absolutely cannot wait until Hurts dislocates both of his shoulders on one of those push-sneaks, or whatever they’re calling them.
I calls it The Rolling Tank
“Arizona played the game you have to play against Dallas” says Troy Aikman, and he’s right. Any time you can play Dallas with 60% of their O-line down, on a night when they somehow decide that committing 15 penalties is the way to go, when Dak decides it’s a good night to throw with his eyes closed, when Mike McCarthy decides to manage the clock the same way he manages his diet, and then the officials don’t call PI on a late TD that would have made a huge difference in the game well, you gotta like your chances.
“that’s right, joe.”
25-11 would be scorigami STOP THE COUNT
-Donald T., FL
an iggles TD would still be scorigami
secured!
Burrow looks timid. He’s not quite hurt, but he’s not quite healthy.
Baker Mayfield looks perfectly cromulent this drive
Confidence embiggened?
going to clip my toenails, more interesting than these games
Go all the way and shave your balls too.
I think the Bengals should have a throwback helmet that’s white with the word BENGALS hand-written on the side with a black Sharpie.
“sharpie? too expensive. do i look like a bank?”
-mike brown
Just written on one side. Saves ink, looks cool like Steelers.
Mike Brown won’t pay for a Sharpie, but he does have a couple of Bics that might work.
i feel cobie durant is playing the wrong sport and has to be spelled wrong
Adam Schefter would be a good mid round pick in the Punchable Faces draft.
THIS CINCY CROWD, I CALL IT THE INTERIOR OF A BUILDER’S GRADE HOME, BECAUSE IT’S ALL WHITE ON WHITE.
Burrows knows he has to get the ball to his receivers while they are in bounds, right?
it was a fun 2 weeks that the nfc south was good-ish
FATTY-CEPTION?
You can dance if you want to
SAFETY DANCE!
Horatio is recreating the video with the Mrs. and the little fella.
/has house searched for cameras
No way you find them all
Tonight’s fitbaw is leaving me feeling whelmed. Not overwhelmed nor underwhelmed. Just welmed.
Just occurred to me, do they really need to add more white to a Cincy crowd?
puka nacua is what happens when i eat nacua that is very much expired
I realize all these false start penalties are frustrating for the Cincinnati crowd, but in all fairness, if I was a black athlete, a stadium filled with white clad fans would make me a little fucking fidgety, too.
lol swifties ALREADY going after kelce. it begins
it is going be wild to watch them learn our dumb sport of football
BREAKING NEWS: Taylor Swift & Chris Brown DATING?! OMG
There’s never a Panzer IV around when you need one.
Swiftboated
STOP THIS FUCKING SPLIT SCREEN YOU NETWORK CORPORATE BUTTHOLES
Not without the god Hanson
Is it an attempted white out in Cincy?
When you said “attempted white out” I thought you were talking Elisha’s ill-fated attempt to cover up that C- in geography.
And I thought he meant January 6
My prediction (you heard it here first):
BMO bank will fail within two years. These commercials are too desperate, so they know something.
This is the Washington Mutual flight path.
I tend to agree. China’s about to experience 2008.
[China uses CAPITALISM]
[it is not very effective!]
They only have 6 banks up there. How could they let one fail?
If BMO failed, I would have to commit suicide. No, I’m not joking.
“As long as they take that dammed BMI with them.”
-Andy Reid and Matt Stafford
Disney+, murdering your fond memories of Star Wars right before your eyes
jj abrams already killed it all
Andor was fucking awesome. It was the best Star Wars production outside of the original trilogy and I will die on this hill.
tfw you survived the 1st quarter somehow
For a minute thought that was Cousins in his You Like That crack pipe phase
Mixon just pounding away, as he is wont to do.
+Antonio Cromartie
This live look in is so annoying with 2 screens. Same bat game, slightly different bat time.
Toradol injectors are a lot more high tech these days.
NHL teams gotta use outdated russian ones
(tbf, theyre cheap but very effective)
Just in case anyone be looking for Hippo Xmas ideas
https://x.com/FAFO_TV/status/1706401797940637771?s=20
https://twitter.com/FAFO_TV/status/1706401797940637771
Russian circuses are no joke.
Here’s a cocktail I invented tonight:
1 part tall glass
1 part ice cubes
1 part Sav-On Brand Charcoal Filtered freezer vodka
1 part Orange Strawberry Banana juice
2-3 powerful barbituates (not pictured)
Combine ice, juice, and vodka in the tall glass, preferably clean. Chew all pills whole, wash down with refreshing cocktail.
(Note that this is a photograph, yet the camera is in the shot. You can’t explain that.)
In honor of Sharkbait I call this “The Sharke Baite” to sound exotic
Tampa going to have to resort to resigning Gronk and having him date Kesha
“The Celebrity Dating Wars have begun. Get me Rob Schneider on line 3!”
-Failed Hollywood Executive
I thought that movie debuted in like 2003?
No that was when he played a stapler
No, that was 2004.
I’m going on a mission to find and kill God. Who’s in?
no way to drain the worlds oceans.
yet.
quality post and a fair price
Le’ts mount up and ride
“My mother is why i have guilt.
Not my ‘attack god’ stance.”
-JJF
I not only watched that entire Bearistocrats game on TV (switching to the Ticket feed after Fox switched to Dallas v Zona!), but have paid for the privilege this season.
Let’s fucking ride.
But I was told that God is dead and no one cares.
PHI/TB a very thursdayish affair so far
Philly D seeing the whites of Mayfield’s eyes.
If there’s no Manningcast, why are they showing CIN-LAR on two ESPN channels?
MORE commercials!