Hey folks, this is your friendly neighbourhood fantasy flounderer coming at you the last time this week. I hope every one of you has made a poor decision recently like I have. Multiple ones, even! Let’s wrap this puppy up.
Fallout:
-I usually start off with injuries but I won’t go that route. I see Johnathan Taylor will be back at practice on Wednesday, absolutely nothing having been resolved and the air full of bad feelings on both side. Should be interesting the rest of the way.
-Russ Francis, a tight end for the Pats and then the Niners in the 70’s and 80’s died in a plane crash. He was a solid player but Ozzie Newsome and Kellen Winslow got the name recognition. Still, 5 of his 6 years on the Pats he was a top 11 te in fantasy and he won a few Super Bowls as well. Think of him as a Greg Olsen, Keith Jackson or Jeremy Shockey type-you were glad to have him on your team.
-Chase Claypool complained about his usage and now the Bears have little to no use for him. He was impressive as a rookie but it’s been all downhill sledding from then which is appropriate given that he’s a Canuck. (he learned to whine at Notre Dame-just want to make that clear)
-Arthur Smith is probably in a stronger position within the organization than it would appear to be because he’s insisting that Ridder is the starter next week. I guess he’s weighed the options and doesn’t want a qb kerfuffle by starting Heinicke but he could couch it in no uncertain terms by saying that Ridder needs a ‘re-set’ or somesuch.
To The Game!
Seahawks/Giants:
-Continuing issues on New York’s o-line (beyond injuries) is why you’ll see Dimes running around again. The Giants completely abandon the run game when Saquon is out so we’ll see a touch of Breida but not much.
-Besides, Seattle’s rush D is giving up 2.9 yards per but 7 yards thru the air on attempts. That and the ‘Hawks are down three corners.
-The visitor’s O doesn’t strike me as all that effective but they’ve only turned the ball over once, average 3 punts a game and excluding end of halves and games, they come away with points 65.5% of the time. That sort of efficiency wins games but doesn’t attract headlines.
-After three weeks the Giants are already sporting a -5 turnover differential. (I thought it would be slightly higher) Those missed tackles are piling up as well.
-I’m not surprised they’re 1-2 because I’ve said many times the early sked is a killer but they’ve been manhandled for 10 of 12 quarters. There’s a narrative creeping up that they’re on the soft side. Robinson was punched and another player was thrown to the ground after the whistle and the response by teammates was tepid. There’s a lot to criticize about how things are going and now ‘leadership within the team’ is being added to the list.
Enjoy the evening.
Is this a good 7-0 game or a bad 7-0 game?
Bad. Very bad.
“Game” is an overly generous description of whatever this is.
Giants-Seahawks game and I’m getting bombarded with California tourism commercials. Make it make sense.
Because California RULEZ!
Oh, god. A Horse Cock Lock sighting! THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE!
Or is it?
This IS a drill:
This says otherwise
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DwaSB1oU8AAUG5y?format=jpg&name=900×900
Does he have one of them screw cocks like ducks have?
yep, this IS a nina hartley approved mnf!
“Man, wish we’d had one of those.” – ladies-in-waiting for Catherine the Great, ruing their subsequent unemployment
Geno Smith, better receiving performance than Chase Claypool this week!
and next!
It’s a goddamn samsquanch, called for Holding!
Watching Dimes slowly run out of space while rolling out on third down and then throwing the ball out of bounds is hypnotizing.
I need him to go over 35 rushing yards. RUN JONES RUN
I need so much from Waller that I didn’t even look it up (and am very glad I did not)
I need him to do nothing and like it. If the game ended right now, I would lose by .05.
I enjoy how the Vertically Enhanced Persons’ faces of desolation in the stands are somehow completely different than the Jest’
It’s the effect of having 10% less Neanderthal DNA.
I am starting to understand why Scotchy chooses huckey practice as his safe space/coping mechanism. Can’t nobody hurt him thar!
That and hockey is awesome.
Alright I’m in front of a TV now and with that score, I need DK to outscore Waller by 3 points the rest of the way to win.
Can’t wait to be let down like I’m at Soldier Field.
This seems like a game between two teams that just don’t want to be there.
then what in the holy hell are we gonna see thursday
I’ll be at FedEx, and I can only imagine it’ll make a monkeyshit fight at the zoo look like a battle of the titans.
The Aristocrats?
Bearsenschiesse*
/hat tip to Dok
They really shouldn’t have resigned Jones.
They absolutely should have resigned him to the bench.
I shudder to think who/how bad his backup must be.
That sundial in DImebag’s head must need re-adjusting again.
Death
Taxes
Backbreaking Daniel Jones fumble.
I am sadly without the Manningcast this evening, as Mrs sharkbait would like to see the full display of giants ineptitude*
*Description of events may or may not be the opinion of me.
Jebus. If MNF is this bad, I am starting to worry if TNF will go to plaid early.
Will Ferrell sounds high as balls right now.
BLEEERGH running wild right now
This Monday is Columbus Day. I will celebrate the achievements of my family members who came to this country and worked their tails off. They were proud of their new home, and loved it dearly. They fought and bled for America, and never turned their back on her.
I learned about faith, family, and a thousand other lessons from my grandparents.
I’ll never be ashamed to celebrate this day.
Also, I’ll pound down two bottles of good red wine.
I think of it as Italian- American Day.
“Me, too!”
–Native Americans
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBD61skoMk8&pp=ygUVc29wcmFub3MgY29sdW1idXMgZGF5
game so far:
-tush push that needed an extra foot penetration
-cheeks making contact
-a muff
-loose balls
nina hartley approved mnf
Bah gawd, King! That’s Buddy Cole’s music…he’s in the building tonight!
Thursday Night Football on a Monday?
I have forbidden my sons from drinking any type of seltzer frou frou alcoholic drink.
You get fucked up on beer and cheap whiskey like your father did.
We have a reputation to protect.
This past week on my vacation my buddy just added more vodka to his cans of seltzer. He may have a drinking problem though.
Boone’s Farm should be allowed.
I will allow that. Also MadDog 20/20. First time I drank that I spent half an hour throwing up on my best friend’s girlfriend’s lawn.
Malt Liquor too
There used to be a malt liquor called Crazy Horse. It was very tasty. Too tasty.
(logs in to Drizly, orders cases of Zima sent to Fozz house…total is $3)
I know he lives in the Baltimore area but I’m sure Fizz’s house is worth more than $3.
plz let that stupid play stand
TOUCHDOWN, SEAHAWKS!
THAT 4TH DOWN PLAY LEMME TELL YA I CALL IT KOBE IN COLORADO BECAUSE IT WAS A TUSH PUSH THAT ENDED VERY BADLY
I got this as a gift for my first Holy Communion, and as a bonus I didn’t get molested by Father Porker.
At least as far as you remember.
I would like to write a post for DFO about my childhood toys and the stories behind them.
Overlords of DFO, do I have permission?
Absolutely!!
I would happily read that.
HELL YES
Didn’t know Fisher-Price made buttplugs.
Marx Playsets were fucking incredible. There’s a museum dedicated to these toys somewhere in West Virginia.
This was the first one I ever got – I’m sure today’s parents would shit eggrolls if their precious sunflowers got a Civil War themed toy. Fuck them.
Wheeling, I think.
Gumby just sent me this. The 60’s and 70’s were a golden age of dangerous toys!
You know you’re jealous,
Atomic bazooka?
Yes!
Ping pong balls?
That is on Patpong road in Bangkok.
What Lemonjello said. From back when life and functioning eardrums were cheap. I think it took about a day to break it.
These were great. I remember shooting these at my father’s head down the beach. He went abotu 15 minutes before threatening to kill me.
I had this guy, it would fold up into that case, shown in the corner.
last night new york jets crashed and burned, filling the nation in anger how it happened
tonight new york giants will tumble in a heap in the same spot
and pete carroll will just not believe how it happens
Dimes is 22-33 and didn’t he just get a big contract?
The Guns of Navarone playset. Hours of fun, and plenty of fistfights over who had to be the Germans.
I wanted one of these for years.
A German?
I had this toy until I was about 9. The house I lived in had a creek behind it. My cousin and I took this boat and set it on fire and floated it down the creek. It was awesome, like a plastic Viking funeral.
My brothers used to ritually slay my Barbies. I’m pretty sure I remember a Viking funeral.
Our neighbor was out front one day and said, “Guys come here! You have got to see this!”
We went over and wathed him run a lawnmower over his sister’s favorite Barbie.
Imagine flesh-colored shrapnel coming at your face 100 miles an hour.
It was legendary.
In grade school me and my friends were all avid model builders. Tanks, ships, fighter planes, etc they all looked good.
Then we would take them down to the creek and blow them up.
Same here, we would also thrown them out of our house onto the sidewalk. So much fun.
My friend Susan lived at the top of a steep hill, and a couple of blocks down was a fairly busy secondary road. We threw her older brother’s shotput out the window, for some bizarre reason. It was whizzing down the street, last time we saw it.
Sens up 2-0. This is the beginning of the end of the Penguins dynasty. Right here in preseason. It’s not pretty but neither is the eventual drowning of Denmark’s Prime Minister in the early spring, right Zymm?
/Oh shit, I might have said too much
Two rubber bands, eight plastic pieces with ball bearings, and fucking hours of fun.
Man, it’s so neat to have my memory jogged about so many of these games.
Bachelor in Paradise, because Americans are fucking idiots
STRIP CLUB DEEJAY: “All right everybody let’s give it up for Paradise! Which lucky gentleman out there would like to buy two tickets?”
You think Eddie Money has to put up with this shit?!?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MY_fUiMofQs
I have officially stopped submitting suggestions, ideas, or game plans to my mother and sisters about everything. I sent a strongly worded email to both of my sisters today, and both responded – and didn’t mention what I had said in the email.
I feel much better now.
You have to stop using the “Ransom Note” font in Outlook for your emails.
Well, stapling my ideas to the head of a dead horse didn’t go over too well
Did you put the head in their beds?
Nah, they’re used to that from when we were part of “the family.”
Ann Coulter died? That’s awful.
Wait, no, I meant “awesome”.
Oh dear. At least you can take some comfort in the thought that when the shit inevitably hits the fan, you will be able to point your finger and say “I told you so.”
I’m watching Pictionary right now because I hate myself.
Since his old team is playing tonight, Eli can have Dunkaroos AND a Danimal!
“I hadn’t planned on washing bedding, but after that snack, I’ll have to tomorrow morning.”
-Olivia Manning
wait, theres somebody on the hawks named bobo
Just curious. Men Without Hats had another quirky hit. Has anyone outside The Canada heard this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zUUtf7gOe8&ab_channel=MenWithoutHatsVEVO
I remember it.
Yes, it made its way down here, like a polar vortex or the Nordiques.
Or Ted Cruz. [slaps the one hand with the other hand awkwardly]
I have!!
Here’s a Golden Bachelor parking spot in front of Pink’s:
What possible tie in would they have with that show??
EVERYONE KNOWS OLD PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS DIGESTING HOT DOGS!!
You’re not kidding. I had a physical therapy appointment this afternoon, and they took my vitals and my blood pressure and pulse were through the roof. I told them what I had for lunch and they said I had eaten about a cubic inch of salt. We waited a while and I got better 😀
Gumby always has to wait awhile. I think he has that white coat syndrome.
Have you ever gotten a penalty while playing hockey? It’s so bad. To their credit, Alice in Chains wrote a tune for all the beer league dudes that tripped a guy ahead of them on the break because they couldn’t keep up/were just out of gas. Let’s listen in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAqZb52sgpU&ab_channel=AliceInChainsVEVO
They also wrote one about when a wrestling match goes too far
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJzrVtioigo
“The Angry Chair is where I had to sit when mom overheard me telling Peyton to ‘kiss my butt’ when he wouldn’t give me back my Starscream in the middle of an epic Transformers battle.”
-Eli
La Cienega, West Hollywood
Love that place
Drove past it the other day with the future Duchess LaCross. She was unimpressed.
Also wasn’t a fan of me dragging her to Al Weiss to help me pick out a new suit.
“Where is this tailor?”
“Uhhhhh, right next to skid row.”
They are playing the Safety Dance on Sirius. Shades of things to come?
Oh let me guess, you had breakfast there but there was no toast. When are you ever going to learn?
It’s like you can read my mind.
I was Gordon Lightfoot in a previous partial life.
What a tale your thoughts could tell.
I bought two deck chairs from Gordon Lightfoot’s ex-girlfriend at a yard sale in Silverlake. True story, dude.
It’s good to know that G-Light’s ex is doing so well.
Back in the US (well, not quite, I’m in New Jersey) with a glass of champagne and a cookie! Gonna hang out in the Polaris lounge for the next couple hours before boarding my flight to SFO
The cookies here are nawt as good as the ones at IAD, but they have garlic bread
Sens up 2-0 on manufacturing jobs-losing Penguins. Why didn’t you think about being a state capitol and retain civil service jobs? Losers.
There are false penguins that live in France
I feel like you should be whispering this in my ear, in a small bar in Esberg. We’re drinking akvavit, trying to fit in. What are you saying to me in code? “The game is on.”
Don’t forget “fraudulent-cheating-draft-lottery-fixing” in front of Penguins.
Yinz hate us cuz yinz anus.
NO ONE DENIES THIS
Back to reality. Uggh.
Good thing there are substances to modify reality!
Do you not get next Monday off though?
I do! Also Mrs. Cola and Deci are heading to BC but I am working the resto Fri/Sun and the final regular season Cavalry FC game is on Sat. Solo weekend!
I started my day with a doctor appointment. This interesting artwork sat on the table in the examining room.
Note: I was there for a scalp itch.
Cooties?
Scalp AIDS
Rectum? Dammed near killed ’em!
Whew. Looks like the game won’t be starting for a while. What say we kill a little time with some epic tunes? And by “epic” I’m talking about a 10 minute minimum duration.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Wy8em8OySI
https://youtu.be/onjaC3A2xjk?si=lwaY7FShZO3srXIO
Ok here’s something long.
Settle down Ms Favre
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWGE9Gi0bB0&pp=ygUlc2hpbmUgb24geW91IGNyYXp5IGRpYW1vbmQgcGluayBmbG95ZA%3D%3D
This is also good and long
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4myghLPLZc&pp=ygUMbWFycXVlZSBtb29u
Gettin’ astronomical, eh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Xic-CHInek
weird it didn’t show up when I posted mine. Odd.
That will always make me think of my son. I miss him
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnFVMkTWaBw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCpPDpN7-wg
I don’t know about y’all, but I want to see more of Brick’s Day Out in LA instead of this game.
The public has spoken