You’d think we’d get a better schedule from the universe, with no morning Lesser Footy to enjoy. But noooooo, the universe say fuck all y’all, yew git what yew git.
Georgia (-31.5) at Vanderbilt (Noon, CBS)
Golly gee, sure glad Vandy has home field. Imagine how bad they’d get pistol-whipped Between the Hedges.
Arkansas (+20.5) at Alabama (Noon, ESPN)
From the frying pan to the Roll Damn Fahr for Pig Sooey. Of course, now that the Great Hivemind sort of believes in ‘Bama again, watch them trip over their dicks here. Not lose, mind. But make things almost interesting.
Iowa State (+5) at Cincinnati (Noon, FS1)
Look, I know this is a shit game. YOU know it’s a shit game. THE PARTICIPANTS know it’s a shit game. But I had to find something, anything that has a reasonable shot to be competitive.
Oregon (+3) at Washington (3:30, ABC)
Thank you, Zombie PAC-12. Something to really, truly look forward to. Ah hear tell that NFL scouting types are buying more Bo Nix stock, but Hippo says Gimme Penix All Day Long!
Texas A&M (+3) at Tennessee (3:30, CBS)
Nobody really has any idea how good the Vols are. But everybody has seen just how “same old, same old” Bonfire Cult remains.
Iowa (+10) at Wisconsin (4:00, Fox)
It’s been this way seemingly forever, but this is the last iteration of this matchup being “For the right to get shit pushed in by the Michigan/tOSU winner.” Pour old an 8-ball for these husky warriors of the shitty division.
Just noticed Penix Jr. is a Lefty
Illini eating crabcakes and turtle soup tonight!
Penix shooting blanks
Fuck me:
Paging Buddy!
“Fuck me, fuck you. Fuck us together…naturally.”
-Lyrics courtesy of a Lionel Richie/John Holmes Joint
I don’t know, I was more in the mood for some Geto Boys instead (adapted lyrics, ofc, since I’m waaaay on the wrong side of the Pantone chart for N-word privileges 😀
Personnel be all up in my mug
But it’s a different story when them muthafuckas coughing up blood
When he died, looking in his eyes, was he as he cried
I bust another cap in his ass and he died, time is 5
Even Marines stuck at 29 Palms think NTC is a shitty post.
The only thing I can think of that makes Irwin better than a post in Afghanistan or Iraq is the fact that you won’t find as many people actively trying to kill you
Given that the 11th Cavalry (and the NTC in general) are meant to kill you enough times for you to git gud, people actually posted there probably aren’t the most beloved in the US Army. For me, the only positive is that those lads are rumoured to have the largest collection of war materiel from potential adversaries and that’s excluding the vismod stuff, that’s … kinda silly, tbh, since I doubt they bother to fully approximate the simulated vehicles’ actual performance characteristics.
At any rate, I ain’t going so it’s either return to Europe (an’ no touchy-touchy of my vacay, or I WILL SLAY A BISH) or “it’s been real, but since I lost faith in the competence and motives of my chain of command, I can no longer perform the duties….” 😉
“Hello, NFL Store? Yes, I was wondering…do you print custom jerseys? Oh, wonderful, wonderful. I’d like a Green Bay Packers home jersey with the number 4 and the name ‘Penix Jr.’. Thank you so much!”
Somebody on Draft Day will have to trademar #PoweredByPenix
I JUST CAN’T ALERT: Failed human/somewhat successful college coach Urban Meyer getting paid in real actual dollars to gurgitate platitudes about the team that he thinks might win during this dreary halftime show.
If Illinois/Maryland comes down to a tie, the head coaches face off mid field for a sumo wrestling match.
(L) Former Toledo Rockets HC Tom Amstultz
(R) Former Kansas Jayhawks HC Mark Mangino
These two played each other in 2006, and I’m done making fun of Andy Reid.
JV Tits 4th and 23?
JV BFL BLITZ
“JV Tits? What channel is that on?”
-M. Gaetz, looking up from his autographed copy of Mein Kampf
Erin Go Bragh more like Erin Go Home amirite?
So weird that Wisconsin could find a bunch of fat guys to play on the o-line!
Since Iowa had 2 good completions in a row, you know that someone had to get hurt. The universe must keep the cosmic balance.
“Well, I’m going to be doing laundry anyway, so I might as well wash literally every single piece of fabric we currently own.” – the Dr. Mrs. Deadly’s internal monologue, apparently
PENIX > NIX
PENIX> NIX> NIKKI SIXX
NIX PENIX LORENA BOBBIT
Are you people watching football or at brunch? Go to the omelette bar and ask for one with everything. When the mimosa tray comes around take four of them. Smile pleasantly.
Scene During Michigan’s Halftime Performance Was Wild (msn.com)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H2W1lK7P-I
Michael Caine has retired from acting, and this is the correct choice for his best role/movie.
https://twitter.com/DannyDrinksWine/status/1713237458236612883
It may very well be Connery’s best role as well. It’s a good movie, is I guess what I’m saying.
Correct on both counts.
He was pretty good as that ether-huffing abortionist!
Also good as the stoner in Children of Men.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tFpP_GSCwo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX0F3kY3uxU
That is an excellent call. I love that movie.
Sleuth was also fantastic.
Just him and Olivier.
Here’s a less well known one (outside of the British isles at least), but no Christmas is complete without “Escape to victory” with him in the lead role. And no, no idea why, but just like Die Hard (which at least is connected to the holiday) it just fits with a nice night in with the family
Honourable mentions (as if he’s not great in basically every movie I’ve seen with him in any role) – Battle of Britain and A Bridge Too Far
Get Carter was solid as well.
A Bridge Too Far is fantastic, but it’s such an ensemble movie. No one really stars in it, and the casting budget still must have been astronomical. I mean, fuck’s sake, Jimmy Caan, has a role that takes may 7 minutes total and it’s awesome.
Oh, yeah, I know it’s an ensemble movie (hence I only giving it a honorable mention), but for some reason when I think of that movie, the three actors that always first spring to mind are Mr Caine, Anthony Hopkins and Gene Hackman.
For some reason, in the US this was shortened to Victory. Still a great movie and I completely agree on the Christmas aspect.
Take the fajjer away! Dutch hater!
and now I’m renting this and watching.
On September 30, regular gasoline was $5.69/gal at my local Costco.
Today, it is $4.69/gal and, according to the WSJ, headed lower, despite rising crude oil prices and turmoil in the Middle East.
I don’t understand why, but whatever they’re doing out there, keep it up.
Just paid $3.49 here in CT.
Yes, but have cows in your driveway.
Tough, but fair.
Still 5.65 here for regular. 5.95 for proper gas. But at least it’s 92 octane and not your crappy 91.
87 octane is proper, manly motor fuel.
89 and above is only good for huffing, depending on your budget.
There’s a great local dive bar in Playa del Rey that is a Florida State bar. They come from all over the southland and God help you if you’re accidentally in there – you’ll get the hell out but quick.
Nice people really, they’re just too fucking enthusiastic for a stupid reason, and they are constantly cheerleading each other in group chants and Indian calls. I can only imagine what a hell-hole that is right. now.
To DFO SoCal folks: It’s Prince O’Whales, not Mo’s, (damn straight it ain’t The Harbor Room). You’ve been warned.
I put some tomatoes and chard in my omelette and took a vitamin, so I think I’m all set for vegetables for the day.
“Was it a Flintstone? Those are my favorites!”
-Eli,of course
When I was a really little kid I ate a whole bottle of Flinstones vitamins. I ODed on ascorbic acid and peed fluorescent orange.
My parents said I ate an entire bottle of St. Joseph’s children aspirin when I was a kid and they took me to the hospital.
Aspirin is a different story
Florida State is just marching around as they please.
The JV Bungles are just like the Solar Eclipse over Cincinnati: they are only putting in about 40% effort.
“It’s a Partial Eclipse of the Heart.”
-Bonny Tyler Jr, riding on coattails
a partial eclipse of the heart is what happened to damar hamlin ppl forget that
“If he’d taken the booster shot too it would have been total.” — Aaron Rodgers
Hippo fixes UFC – when the fighters step into the octagon? BOOM – shape-shifts into a fucking rhombus.
אתה לא מתעסק עם ישראל.
أنت لا تعبث مع جدك.
And you certainly don’t mess with an Isreali grandfather!
Retired Israeli general who rescued his family under siege from Hamas is being compared on social media to Liam Neeson’s character in ‘Taken’ (msn.com)
Grandson Noodles is mad at me. Won’t even acknowledge when I speak to him.
You know what you did.
Change your WiFi password. You’ll become his closest friend again 😉
Cats are assholes.
Because humans are too stupid to accept their training, without question or complaint.
Yankees’ president criticizes Rays, Marlins for revenue-sharing dependency: ‘Take some responsibility’ – CBSSports.com
Reason 5,704 why I quit following baseball: Rich teams complaining about sharing half their revenue with poor teams.
You’d think more self-aware people would notice how successful NFL-style socialism has been, in terms of ruling the sportsball/TV worlds.
What sad is they are setup to be way more profitable than football. An MLB team can make the same gate revenue with an average of a half-full stadium that an NFL game can make selling out every game.
Randy Levine is an asshole who adds nothing to the organization at all. if they’re serious about improving, (they aren’t), they’ll fire his corpulent ass into the Sun.
Is there anything worse than swiping at a fly and closing your hand, then opening it again because you think you missed, but you didn’t, and the fly flies off unharmed? Well, yes, there are many things that are far worse. But it still sucks.
… Yes, for example you open your hand and discover that you didn’t miss.. and that it wasn’t a fly, but a stinkbug 😛
Not many goddamned things worse. FUCKING FLIES, man.
Grandson Bronco killed one the other day, and I was super proud.
Speaking of Hippo’s byline, the mighty Sens are up 1-0 on the booger-eating Flyers.
¡DAGA!
(that’s español for “dagger”)
“Sounds like a nasty word for an Italian-which I heartily endorse, btw.”
-B. Parcells
“Mmmm, latin feetsies”
-R. Ryan
“You can’t say that word, only we can say that word.” – Steve Bisciotti
“…” – Tony’s Sparano’s football, agreeing wholeheartedly
🤣
Not for my friend when he said back in the late 00s ‘”Mami está triste esta Navidad. Se dejó del novio y no tiene quien le dé daga”.
Most memorable smoking break in my life. 😅
/ninja smoke bomb
Google Translate:
“Mommy is sad this Christmas. He left the boyfriend and has no one to give him a dagger.”
Uh, we’re, still trying to figure out the meaning of that last phrase, sir.
Penis is the word you’re looking for
Punting on 4th and 1 is NOT how one beats Roll Damn Tide, PAAAAWWWWWLLLLLL
Daboll was yakking about using the basketball mindset of maximizing point opportunities and how it’s bleeding into football. He was able to do it last year when he caught folks by surprise and had a functional o-line. Not so much this year…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVQ3-Xe_suY
“HEY!”
-Skull Fractured Kid
pffffftttt, I broke MY skull as a teenager (or maybe around 20), and Hippo turned out JUST FINE THANK YEW VERY MUCH
[waits for story…]
I was catching warmup pitches from our hardest throwing pitcher (I coached my little brother’s team, with my Dad when he wasn’t stuck at work). Without a helmet/facemask, of course. Two pitches before the break, I noticed “gee, the sun is getting low, if he throws one high I won’t be able to see it.”
That’s…the last thing I remember before waking up in a Charlotte hospital.
I kind of had to learn how to say certain words again (scary as fuck at first), but it all came back pretty quickly. I never caught again, but I DID throw batting practice a week later. Thought it was important to show all the kids that I was ok, and not mentally scarred. It was hard not to flinch on contact, but I hate showing emotion in public (so I kept poker faced).
i hope you ended up suing Lady Gaga.
This is one hell of a rugby game. Argentina just took back the lead with 10 minutes left to play.
I found out a few days ago that my neighbour is playing rugby with her daughter in a full contact* league. Very cool. They have a game today and hopefully don’t get hurt and do well. I’ve already asked her to explain the rules to me as there’s somethings I don’t understand
*Not sure how you would do rugby without contact as I don’t know enough about it.
Flag rugby?
Two hand touch?
We used to play touch rugby when I lived in Johannesburg. It’s pretty lame. It’s a step down from two-hand-touch football.
I’ve never seen anyone play flag rugby. I’ve given it some thought and never came up with a good way to make it work.
By the way, “good news” (at least according to one really dumb motherfucker at the embassy) – I’m getting promoted to a bird colonel (this is when my BS meter detonated with a 10-15kt yield), being seconded to the US army (not fucking happening) and informed that I may be TDY’d to Fort Irwin. Ah, and that the leave I’ve put in, because Tahiti has to be postponed until further notice.
edit: Ah, and that the leave I’ve put in because of Tahiti has to be postponed until further notice.
Srly, Y U NO EDIT, WP?! Y?!
Irwin… What is Polk all filled up…
You mean Johnson? Not sure, but at any rate the idea was for some of us analysts to actually talk to the lads from the Blackhorse, since even the higher ups started noticing that most assumptions on how things are supposed to be done are not only outdated, but actively hazardous to “our side”.
I had a close buddy at Bragg, or whatever the fuck we’re calling it this year, who went out to Irwin. I never heard from him again. Like he fell off the planet.
That’s the consensus from a couple of people I’ve asked, including one that said that he’d rather go to Alert again than Irwin which raised one veeeeery important question – whose daughter (or son, it’s the 21st century after all) did he fuck to get sent on exchange to get to the icy moon of Hoth 😀
Well it’s a dry heat I heard. Stay hydrated.
It’s irrelevant heat as I refused to sign my orders (since I’m still technically here just temporarily, I have to sign off that I’ve been informed that I’m being extended and that I’ve accepted my orders. See, sometimes bureaucratic bullshit is one’s friend) and put in the paperwork for me resigning my commission effective immediately. I’ve been asked to wait until end of the workday on Monday to “find another solution”, but after that I’m fuckin’ off.
pretty amazing
It’s good to have worked our ways into that position. Secure enough to just pack it in and go fishing if they provoke us. Nothing beats this feeling after all the years of toil and sacrifice.
That’s was the point of me going full steam* basically since I was in junior high – to be able to afford to have morals and to be able to refuse to be screwed over, which is a luxury my parents didn’t get to have (having a kid in a post-communist cleptocracy does that to people that didn’t get lucky to be closely related to bureaucrats, cops or customs officers).
*full as in working 6-8 hours when at school, 12+ in college .. which may kinda explain in part my
insane caffeine intakelove for coffee. On the plus side, unlike my peers (especially those in the US.. thank fuck for the Irish educational system!) I didn’t get saddled with crippling debts (to go with my diploma, that I basically never needed, lol)… wrong rank (three stars is colonel), wrong army (not Russian, lol) and from what I’ve observed, I need to get an extensive
lobotomytraining to do the job 🙂I enjoy international soccer tournaments like the World Cup or the Euros almost as much as I hate the international breaks that make them possible.
absofuckinglutely. You ever try to watch these endless qualifiers? Like flies fucking, or even GOLF. Even GAMBLOR doesn’t make them interesting.
On that’s right, today’s the day of the annular solar eclipse. That should be fun.
Meanwhile, in Yinzburgh…
At least you get rain. Cincinnati is overcast and gloomy as hell.
It’s pretty cool. Right now, it’s about 50% covered. We’re supposed to hit our peak in about 20 minutes.[PHRASING] We won’t get the ring of fire here, but it’s still a spectacle. I almost gave up on finding my viewer thingies yesterday, but I finally found them in a drawer.
I am absolutely terrified of ANYTHING that could remotely impact my eyesight. No eclipses for Hippo, EVAR.
Get Eclipse Glasses. It protects your eyes and you can see the sun directly.
… you realize that staring at the screen of the device you’re chatting with us is doing more to fuck up your eyesight than looking at the eclipse using protective glasses / welding goggles / a good DSLR with proper filtering on a star-tracking mount, right?
Our annual “1492” fest they call it was last weekend. QC is slipping this year the younger ladies in period dress had phones out. That was a no no years ago when my daughters participated.
Marie Antoinette is an OG influencer.
She got sum junk in the trunk.
She did lose some weight up top.
Probably not a lot of call for ‘Indigenous People’s Day’ over there.
The fest is not tied to Columbus. Coincidentally 1492 is when the city was founded.
If you can’t live without your phone for one parade route, seek help.
Rugby quarterfinals starting in 15 minutes!
which sqaudron has the best Rugby Ass?
I’m going to a Renaissance Festival today after my riding lesson because I am super cool like that! Gonna eat some fried stuff on a stick probably!
Score some grain and fruit. Bake a tort and impress Yeah Right.
How does that Jacob’s ladder work? Zymm should understand.
– Coach Reid, who will be attending a funeral service
College football needs a 10am EST game. Why?
-because I’m bored
-so college kids can learn how to drink in the morning
-to fill the void when the EPL isn’t on
Where’s the downside to this?
It’s not like those college kids slept last night, anyway.
I think the 12:00 kickoff takes care of the morning drinking.
They should have London games.
Brings me fond memories of shower beer before hopping on buses and going to New Haven for the Yale-UConn football game.
It wasn’t until law school that I realized where the stadium was.
Everything word in this should be punished with the severe beating it deserves.
You, sir, have the boorish manners of a Yalie.
Maybe it will work?
Ooh, I would be very much amused to see Fat Carr.
I want a Saints #4 Vinegar jersey.
I knew that wouldn’t work. Too bad.
Wow, just read about the buffs – tree game last night. Excuse me while I compose a long text message to someone I know was in attendance.
/found a funny
But what if your baby likes being alone in a hot car?
that’s rocking!
Good morning, peeps. I saw “Renfield” last night (good!), and OH MY GAWD AWKWAFINA 😍😍😍😍
So my current sloth project is going through the whole run of TV’s “Nora from Queens”, which is rrrrrllly funny and good. Running asessment: Awkwa’s cop character in Renfield is a stand-alone crush, while TV’s Nora elicits only paternal affection.
Well, off to work until Mandatory tomarrah. Billing OR ELSE mode activated until DFOCon.
https://youtu.be/jcowcEYZv_c?si=WmKWlfRPF2yLI5Rp
A friend of mine filmed that Super Bowl ad with her (the one with all the goats). Unfortunately, his bit got cut. I can’t even imagine what that would feel like. I suppose it would feel like being a healthy scratch on a Super Bowl team.
Still get a ring.
Sorry about your goat.
I’m in Cherry Hill, NJ requesting breakfast restaurant suggestions.
Pancakes or waffles is the likely order….
A proper pot of coffee* and eggs Benedict
*you’ll know if it’s proper by pouring a spoonful on the ground – if it melts through at least 2 inches, it’s good.
It’s PSL season, sir.
…PSL? I’m not sure what’s cricket got to do with your breakfast?
.
50g of sugar is not actually “toxic”. Such casual hyperbole is going to cause all those Mr. Yuck stickers in the Manning household to lose all meaning.
lol, there’s more sugar in a single MRE’s dessert (I’m using a Hooah! bar as the baseline) and a good an’ happy grunt supposed to do 3 full MREs a day in the field. And that’s excluding the other shit with sugars in it.. or the actual sugar packet for the coffee (the non-sugar sweetener’s a war crime btw)
https://youtu.be/wLsONa3gKIQ?si=bIe44ZQX77v2yuB0
I hate Food Babe, such a load of pseudo-scientific bollocks
I have no idea who they are, but if they even think about doing one of those on my beloved peppermint hot chocolates, (why yes, I am a fancy lad), I shall unleash Hell.
I’ve never gone to Starbucks. Because their menu is so confusing, I wouldn’t know what the hell I’m actually ordering.
Black coffee, two packs of honey or agave. Done and dusted.
I don’t seek it out, but occasionally as part of a family group I end up there and can make do.
Ah, that explains it. I don’t think I’ve been to a Starbucks since I was a first year in uni and since the quality of the coffee sure as fuck didn’t warrant the pricetag, I never went back.
As for whomever suggested a goddamn drip machine? Once you go bean to cup, you never EVER go back. Especially if you get yourself (eventually) a multi-bean, multi-type coffee machine that can be connected to the water main and spring for the model with the cream and milk containers and self-cleaning … you’ll be in caffeine heaven 🙂
I read this last year and followed up on its advice. TP was on it. I did not buy a Bunn professional machine, but using Maxwell House in the proper measure in a good 12 cup drip maker, is just fine. Nature’s best performance enhancer.
Fuck lost the article link… I’ll be right back.
Folger’s instant coffee for the win.
That is my quick on the run option.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Coffee/comments/9kskri/tom_petty_and_the_search_for_the_perfect_cup_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Shoulda stuck with coffee, Tom.
There’s a diner there (or used to be) that was quite good. Lmk see if I can find it.
Closed https://www.inquirer.com/real-estate/commercial/cherry-hill-diner-close-car-wash-new-jersey-20230430.html
Yeah this place is weird.
There’s also proper JV international trophy qualification footy (Euro 2024 and other shite).
*cries into his pot of coffee*