There’s really not much I can say about this blowout that everyone has already said. The stench coming off this tilt is even worse than my dog’s farts and that’s saying something. I’ll be keeping this short and sweet, methinks.
To The Game!
Giants/Bills:
-If Saquon is able to play, and as of this typing he is trending that way, he might actually have a good game given that his explosive run rate and yards after contact numbers are pretty good. As well, Buffalo’s linebacker core is on the thin side so if he’s able to get to the second level good things may happen.
-As for everything else? It’s shit. All of it.
-The Giants o-line has got to be the worst in the league. It wasn’t good in the first place and has now been decimated by injuries.
-Wink’s ‘Pressure Breaks Pipes’ defense couldn’t bend a pool noodle right now.
-Allen is going to inflate all of his numbers-I can see him sitting out the 4th quarter.
-The Bills have averaged a gaudy 35.75 points in their last four games and that includes a loss last week.
-In their losses New York has averaged 7.75 points per game. Gah!
-This game should have been flexed to Outer Mongolia.
-There’s nothing else to say.
Guh!
So the problem with the Giants was Danny Dimes all along?
He certainly doesn’t help anything.
/Flips back to football
Welp, they’re still playing, so I guess no one’s dead. Yet.
I’m drinking brandy and coke to commemorate South Africa’s rugby win today.
Dead Buffalo players in primetime. A tradition like no other.
Gifted ’em the first down, so that guy wouldn’t die in vain.
/flips back from the baseball game
What in the fuck is going on!?!?
Imagine how shitty this would be if it were not for the distracting powers of Football Manager.
This would be an interesting game to be watching from a Buffalo fan bar, especially if I were some sort of disappointment and anxiety vampire
You could just live in any Jets fan bar.
There goes Josh Allen for the cherry on the shitsundae on Sunday.
If I were a baseball manager I would take out every pitcher at 69 pitches, as a bit.
Is everybody on the field tonight a Make-A-Wish kid?
If they’re not now they will eventually be one at this rate.
One of the things I really enjoy about post-season baseball is that Tim McCarver no longer has a role in it.
This pre-season football kinda sucks.
Is it Thursday night? We got work tomorrow, color rush uniforms, and terrible football.
The only thing missing is me procrastinating the next chapter of The Smartest Coach On Earth.
MOAR LIEK Bass-NO-matic imogodbless
Nailed It!
– B. Walsh
Wide Right from a Buffalo kicker jogs some memory.
Hey, is that the same actress from Ghostbusters, the librarian whose uncle thought he was St. Jerome?
That is correct, sir.
HAIL SHA’NKLOR
I’m watching tv in New Jersey. I have to say, i don’t think I’ve ever seen this many commercials for ski resorts.
They’re all hoping the El Niño predictions are right for a snowy northeastern/ mid Atlantic winter. I think my brother already got his season pass.
Fuck. That.
Listen, I don’t want to hear anyone bad-mouthing a sport that makes it possible to assassinate Jared Kushner by impaling him through the chest with a ski pole and still plausibly claim it was an accident.
Nice helmet, nerd.
It would be nice to use my snowshoes and XC-skis for something other than propping up the basement wall.
To be fair they’re doing a great job; the wall hasn’t budged an inch.
It’s disappointing when a fine French pastry collapses.
Watching this is like trying to pass a kidney stone out of one’s brain.
Tis painful indeed. We about due for a turnover here.
Evan Neal is sooooo pissed at the hot dog vendor in Section 327 right now.
So glad the Yankees traded Jordan Montgomery for Harrison Bader. Montgomery’s starting game 1 in the ALCS and Bader’s playing for the Reds after the Yankees released him.
Another Brian Cashman winner.
One of the most disappointing things about growing up has been finding out how few grown adults actually care about Halloween.
Seriously. Tonight would be perfect for a haunted house and I can’t find a single soul to humor me. This is harder than finding a wedding date
If you wanna be scared by something that’s been dead for a long time, I’ll send you a pic of my junk.
Welcome to DFO, Mr. Favre!
I got chased around by junkies with axes on the boardwalk in New Jersey. Didn’t enjoy it.
Happens more than you’d think.
We love a good haunted house. One year we went up to the haunted house at the Six Flags park. One of our friends was dumb enough to tell us she was terrified of clowns. Did we find a clown and pay them to follow us around all night?
You bet your ass.
That’s no way to talk about Lowratio! He’s no clown. He’s a jester!
“Cor’dale Flout” isn’t a defensive back, that’s a delectable French dessert.
Terrific with Chambord.
This is a war of attrition and the Giants are rapidly running out of Tritions.
Seriously, what Gypsy woman did the Giants piss off during the off-season?
CFL play sighting!
WOOOOOOOO!
/Walks into the clubhouse with the traditional bandana around wing-wang
//But also, a suit shirt and jacket because I’m on the clock.
///Also, just the tip, because bar mitzvah!
Mazel tov…?
they should just kick the FG on 2nd down
What happens if a NFL team is unable to field a full team?
I’m not sure of all the rules, but Janay Rice apologizing is definitely one of them.
They go into the stands and grab anyone in that team’s jersey and “Next Man Up!”
You can never be sure given the way they slather on make-up for TV, but Gwen Stefani looks like she’s had more work done on her than they’ve done on Penn Station.
Have you seen Kenny Rogers lately?
Kenny Rogers Jackass will live forever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q03ddPc9wDQ
I’m pretty sure Kenny went to that peaceful Island in the Stream a few yonks ago. The farm upstate. He is deceased, defunct. He is no more. He is an ex- Gambler.
No, but the feast of Samhain is upon us, and the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead will be at its weakest, so fingers crossed!
https://twitter.com/normcharlatan/status/1713704547170844951
Assuming the Vertically Enhanced Persons don’t want this to be Saquon’s season finale, I’d recommend against that moe-ron wildcat play.
I didn’t know Tyrod survived Dr. Chao tbh.
You’re thinking of Low Commander…..
https://doorfliesopen.com/2021/02/15/valowntines-day-a-dfo-holiday-horror-story/
That was a ride! Blax writes purty.
Giants DBs have weaponized klutziness, Bills punching themselves in the dick.
This man is the professor of Canadian railroad hobos. This is from 2019 so telling if he’s dead now or why.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07DnfcJX6Kw
“I don’t know nothin’ about nothin'”
-S. Naut
Those Canadian winters on the rails must be rough.
Another fake ass moment of silence? Damn, this game hasn’t even started and I already hate it
I thought Thursday’s MoS solved all those pesky middle east difficulties I’ve heard about.
The NFL, The Buffalo Bills, and the New York Giants, all stand with the people of Palestine in their struggle again…
“You saw what happened to Pat Tillman? We can make that happen to you too.” – NFL “security”
Maybe if Collinsworth would observe a game of silence things would change.
Tirico: “Cris, the Giants are riddled with injuries. How do they stay in this game?”
Cris: (long pause). “Mike, I’m gonna be honest here: they don’t. There is no reason to watch this game. Turn it off, read a book, go for a walk, spend time with your loved ones. Time is fleeting and there is no reason to spend any of it watching this deba…”
Let me get this out of the way early:
SHUT. UP. CRIS.
Louder, please.
Seconded.
Buffalo’s red unis are a war crime.
“War crime? Hold my beer.”
-Hamas and the IDF
Shh! Or we’ll get more moments of silence.
Jaysus, isn’t Dungy getting creepier all the time? Goblin. Broferatu.
Dungy looks like he’s on sabbatical from his regular gig on “What We Do In The Shadows”.*
*he’s the vampire that glosses over his son’s suicide
He does resemble the Baron, albeit only when the Baron is healing from his horrible burns.
Maybe this game will surprise us all and not suck, but it’s in prime time so probably no
I’m a little worried about the Ontario hobo population if this goes as badly as it could.
Ummm…excuse me but how can you talk about Canadian hobos WHEN THERE ARE HOMELESS AMERICAN VETERANS?!
No veteran* is homeless if they can find a tarp to make a field expedient shelter. Or a shovel to dig out a fighting hole.
*does not apply to Air Force veterans
WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
[runs through clubhouse wearing nothing but a Springboks bandana wrapped around his wing-wang and a Raiders visor on his head]
Huh, I guess all the teams I root for lose in rugby too
I cannot tell you how gratifying it is to watch a team you care about have a late lead and for them to not only to not choke it away in nightmarish fashion, but to not expect them to choke it away in nightmarish fashion. To actually have the lead late in a game and be able to enjoy it and not be filled with dread it as you perceive it as the winding/ticking sound of a jack-in-the-box that is about to blow up in your face.
Sounds weird
“Wink’s ‘Pressure Breaks Pipes’ defense couldn’t bend a pool noodle right now”
😘👌🏼
Cargo: ankle socks and boron
Let’s take a moment for something more important that this game: Suzanne Somers has passed away at 76.
Chrissy from Three’s Company made a 10-year-old Horatio stare at the TV for reasons he did not understand, and which his parents did not care to explain. RIP Ms. Somers.
She was the girl in the white T-Bird in American Graffiti, George Lucas’s only masterpiece.
I love me some Mael bros!
https://youtube.com/shorts/dTk6CxCRaKA?si=fqyGT3SmFoKEWIDW
nobody even made it to 6-0
we’re probably going to get some detroit/jacksonville ass superb owl
That would be an absolute dream, especially if you sub the 500s for the Jaguras.
“This Detroit qb [looks down at notes] Gerald Golf has exceeded all expectations!”
-sports reporter for the NYT
I’d watch Goff lose a SB with Detroit then get shipped off to another scrappy crappy team for picks and a win-now QB.
I curse that this is mandatory. Or should the game itself be giving thanks to us, for our obedience to the RULES?
We secretly replaced Jalen Hurts with Zach Wilson. Let’s see if anyone noticed.
I FUCKING DID!!!!!
Y’all and Santa Clara basically played the same derpy game.
against the same derpy teams that had elite defenses and offenses led by a third string qb