Last game on the docket. Let’s comment hard!
Fallout:
-Folks are thinking that Detroit is one of those pretend teams because of that blowout yesterday. Hey, they happened to not show up on a day when the Ravens had the throttle wide open. Take a look at the remainder of the Lions sked-Raiders, Chargers, Bears X2, Vikes X2, Packers, Broncos, Saints and Cowboys are left. That looks like 13-4 or 12-5 to me.
-I don’t really know who Kareem Jackson is, only that whenever I hear his name he’s being fined. Welp, $89,000 so far this year hasn’t done the trick so he’s been suspended for four games. Maybe drive into a tree with your seatbelt off during your break, ok buddy?
-Who among us hasn’t thrown 230 million bones down the terlet? The Browns got the win (barely) but got 1-5 from Deshaun and 15-32 from Walker. Be a shame to waste that world-class D.
-You thought it was easy to pass on the Titans before? Safety Kevin Byard, team captain and All Pro, is getting shipped off to the Eagles because of course he is.
To The Game!
Niners/Vikes:
-McCafferty is in! The Beaver Brown Band has yet to confirm.
-Vikes DC is blitzing at a 60% rate and shows no sign of slowing down. The next blitziest (?) is the Cards at 51%.
-How is Minny coping without JJ? Last week 6 of 11 drives failed to gain 10 yards. Somebody misses Old Safety Valve.
-Your sneaky DFS play, what with Deebo out, is Jauan Jennings. The Vikes are the very worst at defending the opposing teams #2 wr. As far as the slot catcher is concerned they’re only 5th-worst.
-Look out for Kittle and Hocky! It’s still sorta Tight End Week or some silliness like that and funny thing, Kelce, Andrews, Taysom, Waller, Gesicki and Kincaid all put up season-best fantasy numbers. T’is a most curious simulation we’re living in.
-UnPrime Time Cousins interception prop is .5. You’d be a fool not to scratch that itch.
Get out there and have some fun!
I always hate it when I’m early for the Schadenfreude Party.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/24/politics/jenna-ellis-fulton-county/index.html
Since there’s a COVID connection, Rod and Todd have come out of retirement to sign a one-day contract…
https://twitter.com/benfergusonshow/status/1716624766444949807
Astros apparently went 0-5 this postseason when this bag of shit attended the game.
Fuck Ted Cruz. I have no idea who Ben Ferguson is but he can get fucked too.
I voted for a meteor.
Seinfeld Steinbrenner voice: “Is it Kirk Cousins or Kurt Cousins? I could never remember and every time I pick one someone tells me it’s the other one! That reminds me. George! George! Get back here! We gotta sign Kurt Gibson! That guy’s going places!”
Now THAT was a proper birthday present.
SKOL MOTHERFUCKERS!
Heyyy happy birthday! You and Sharkette share a birthday!
That’s great! Youngest Right is the 13th.
Wish Sharkette the happiest day ever.
if i had a nickel for every time ive seen a seven game playoff baseball series where the home team loses every single game, id have two nickels…which isnt much but its weird that its happened twice
Con: people in the Dallas market don’t deserve to be happy
Pro: most cowboy fans are Yankees fans anyways
Horatio RN
I mean, the joke isn’t even accurate anymore. The Cowboys are approaching 30 years of irrelevance. The Yankees won in 2009, making them 1 for 23 since the turn of the century.
Christ, just typing that made me feel old.
Hey, they finally get to have a team in Arlington that’s America’s Team.
I feel bad for Altuve. He graced us with so many Dodger losses. He deserves another WS ring.
Counterpoint: fuck that guy and fuck the Astros organization with a concertina-wire wrapped dildo.
i guess hes not like montana nor young after all, huh
On the plus side, two more people out of the eliminator pool.
The Purdy Pumpkin has risen!
McCaffrey points help the wife too football gods
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
A garbage time Hock or Addisondown would be beneficial to Mrs Sharkbait…
what a fucked up week of football
If MIN holds on, I will have picked exactly 2 (two) correct outcomes from this weekend.
You could have done better throwing darts at the schedule, lol!
Think I would have missed the schedule on every try
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn1cBzPerfU
Wow, Aroldis Chapman came in and the Astros get back on the board? ColoUr me surprised.
We’re stuck with Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel for like two more decades, aren’t we?
ive not seen one late night show since dave’s last epi
if it werent for me being married (wife watches various things and horror stuff, kid goes for bluey on disney) id never know what actual television is like outside of sports. those two better like it cause cable bills are a bitch now
This is how old I am. I was pissed off that they cancelled Tom Snyder and gave Letterman his spot, so I wouldn’t watch him at first. The very first show I did watch was when Andy Kaufman got smacked by that wrestler. Now get off my lawn, whippersnapper!
You should have seen it coming. After all it was foretold in our ancient writings.
Sports and an occasional documentary for me. The rest is background noise.
Late night shows were something I watched out of boredom because nothing else was on. With a gazillion streaming options and DVRd shows, I can’t imagine ever watching one again. If something really good happens on one, the clip will get circulated anyway.
Not if you turn the TV off.
Tonight’s beer(s) is this refreshing and low ABV Kolsch
Pretty good, but the cover art on Abomination’s beers is simply outstanding.
“All The Rage” would be a good name for Fozz’s series of posts on Emily In Paris.
And his follow on recap of Bridgerton
I just got a look at Netflix’s ‘Fall of the House of Usher’ when my daughter was over and I’m definitely going to run that one back.
She offered to watch the last episode back at her apartment so as not to ruin the ending, but I told her I was pretty sure I knew how it would end for the Ushers.
We watched the first 2 so far and it is fantastic.
If I walked into a bar and the whole place were singing “Sweet Caroline” I would walk back out, bar the door, and set the building on fire.
Wouldn’t lose a minute’s sleep, either.
I’ve said the exact same thing to my wife or perhaps a hallucination either way it happened
You wouldn’t take the time to chain all the side and back doors closed? For shame.
Ok, Mr Roadie For Great White
An attorney I know down in the New London area made a lot of money off of that. Theoretically, anyway. I’m not sure how much he was actually able to collect.
So I’m going to Chicago for a band director’s conference the week before Christmas. Gonna see a Blackhawks game on Tuesday night and then a bunch of concerts Wed and Thurs before flying out late Friday. I pretty well have my itinerary of events, but if y’all have food recs, I’d love to hear ‘em. My first time visiting!
Conference is at McCormick Place and I’m staying in the South Loop area.
As a fourish-time visitor to Chicago, my biggest recommendation is enjoying ho many fat people are around, so as to make yourself feel slightly better.
If you are not fat, don’t worry about it.
*how many stupid drunk keyboard
Would you like me to edit that for you?
I can, you know. I have that power.
Nah, let me wallow in my crapitude.
CRAPULENCE GODDAMMIT
In Cleveland that’s known as “going to a Browns game”.
“if every visit to chicago is done right, you gain no fewer than 35 lbs, my frendt.”
I’ve only been in Chicago once, for a wedding. I recall a lot of beer and pork-products.
We went to the Taste of Chicago. In July. It was the sweatiest experience ever. 600,000 people crammed into a park. I’m pretty sure I touched, or was touched, by every single one. But Chicago is a great city. You will enjoy it!
That was for Maestro, I’m high.
Chicago Athletic Association has a cool rooftop bar
Pequod’s for deep dish
/leaves before the pizza debate burns this place to the ground
/Huge intake of breath
Actually, if you’re in Chicago you should absolutely get some deep dish.
This seems obvious. If you’ve never been, do it. The only slight disagreement is which establishment since you’re only going to have one slice before tapping out for a week on pizza.
I’d be in a bigger hurry to get an authentic Chicago dog. You can’t go wrong with Portillos, and they have a bunch of locations.
Italian roast beef > Chicago dog. Not that the hotdog is bad, but the Italian Roast Beef is better.
Adding this to the list!
On a somewhat related note: I would also love some recommendations on how to defend myself against the Polish-language anti-ketchup-on-hot-dogs militias I have heard are rumoured to ambush various hot dog cart patrons in the city. Is Chicago a bear-spray free town?
You would need nothing lower in caliber than a bazooka.
For lunch, 11 City Diner downtown. One hell of a Ruben.
https://twitter.com/br_betting/status/1716622419929014719
You hate to see it
Do you? Do you really?
I preferred five minutes ago when I didn’t know who the fuck this guy was.
Hey, if we have to know it, so do you.
WOOO BOO JIMHAT JERRY LOVES THE STRANGErs
It’s not as fun as it looks – it’s basically a hedge against a mattress sale promotion.
Yeah, that’s what some further digging showed. And also that’s he’s worth in excess of $300 million anyway.
But the look of misery on his face soothes me nonetheless.
“come on honey, come to the game with me. I’ll behave!”
Game day: shirtless Viking with robe
Techno Viking has let himself go
“Randy Gregory couldn’t find the sack on Cousins” dude it’s right under the crank
Fact: Cheetos taste better when eaten in bed.
Problem: orange stains on the white sheets.
Solution: purchase orange sheets to hide stains! (Alternate solution: simply never wash the white sheets ever and continue as normal with Cheeto habit.)
“Where can I buy these orange sheets?” — Mar-A-Lago laundry manager
Would assume the sheets are just burnt thrice weekly
If you can stain two sheets you got yourself a Cheeto sandwich.
That is correct.
According to Twitter, “Mattress Mack” is about to lose a lot of money on the Astros, so that’s pretty cool.
Holy shit. It looks like he’s bet at least $3 million, to win something like $40 million, and some are saying he’s bet more and could have won $75 million.
His kids need to get his ass in a conservatorship, stat.
not as much as My Pillow Mike this year
this is why analytics isnt always right and removes human context. analytics say “go fot it” in that situation.
that situation likely has cousins throwing a pass
THIS CALL I CALL IT ‘ALABAMA’ BECAUSE IT’S A GO FOR IT SITUATION INVOLVING COUSINS!
Captain Dingleberry is so bad. At least he didn’t throw another crippling interception in the red zone.
It’s coming.
My bad. I didn’t realize it was still the 3rd quarter. It is indeed coming.
Two egg layings in a row? 49ers are going to be pissed next week. I’d hate to be their opponent.
“He’s come into his own” is a saying I would not use as a broadcaster because I’d have to stifle the Butthead giggle.
Every time Jose Altuve fails an angel gets its wings.
and bashes his dead relatives with a tin garbage can lid
HEY…oh, the cheating thing, not the dwarf thing. Sorry, just making sure everyone’s feeling ok.
Yeah, I could care less that he’s short, I just resent that he’s a cheating fuck who’s never suffered any real consequences.
I had dugout-level seats once at Angel Stadium right next to the Astros, and however short you think he is, he’s shorter. I had great admiration for that little fuck.
I used to. Same for the Astros. Could even overlook the cheating if they didn’t decide to go full WWE heel and embrace it the next season.
Andrew Heaney is warming up the Rangers? Have they not been listening to Smoltz? Are they not aware this is a must win game?
You have to empty the kitchen cupboards right here
Heaney’s a fly ball pitcher. He has no business pitching in Houston.
3rd and 25?
NFL BLITZ!
STOP IT WITH THE CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS!
Great, another globalist Zionist.
that was a purdy bad play
https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:2ikafimtrwwzslpmnduy3ht6/bafkreid64dkrzibvhp6fxbwndnlo7jhn7eo7kr7qv4y4tfh7u6rbo5qce4@jpeg
mommas basement missing two dork ass losers tonight
I just read back through the comments. Today is Yeah Rights birthday, and his Vikings are winning.! Happiest birthday, youngster!
Happy Birthday Yeah Right. Some cheesecake is in order.
She looks like Samantha Fox.
She still alive?
(thinks about the five I left on a Motel 6 dresser last week)
Yes
Yes was preforming last year still.
Only on the outside.
Thanks so much. It turned out to be a beauty but I’m definitely wonky as fuck after the COVID booster.
I should burn one to offset the effect.
You should!
Was that an awful cover of Phil Collins? Or some weirdly mixed Phil Collins?
Cover.
(sigh) SOMEONE isn’t paying attention to HOT MNF NEWS.
That called screwed the Astros, so I’m in favor of it, but Dan Molino, or however you spell his name, is such a shit umpire.
And Dusty Baker finally wakes up after his pitcher lets 6 of 7 batters reach base in a Game 7. Hall of Fame right there.
You mean, same shit different year? Dusty must have a lot of kids as he is always too late on pulling out.
I worked with his brother at an insurance company.
Ok, we worked at the same place.
Ok, he was high-up and I was a fresh-outta-college dweeb.
BUT STILL
This is just like last year, when Aaron Judge and I combined to hit 62 home runs.
Exactly…you know how many models Leo DiCaprio and I have scored???
John Smoltz has declared this game a ‘must-win’ for the Rangers.
It is Game 7.
Not rooting for the Rangers, but rooting enthusiastically against the Astros.
Same. Phillies all the way; the sooner the Astros are gone the better.
(Phillies, of course, should not do what they did today)
Rooting for either NL team, but the Phils are growing tiresome; go DBacks.
SNEKS IN SEVEN!
I am with you and Blax, go SNEKS.
I’ve been rooting for a meteor all week. Why can’t we have nice things?
We had an eclipse, that was nice.
But it didn’t wipe out a bunch of Texans, boo!
You have to think the Astericks go to Bryan Abreu here sooner than later.
october 23, 1993: a carter makes a big hit against a bunch of assholes
october 23, 2023: a carter makes a big hit against a bunch of assholes
kirk cousins, the greatest qb not named jimmy garoppolo at throwing balls that should be ints but end up as tds because the receiver bailed his fucking loser ass out
SHANK’HLOR rules the BirdMurderDome
SHANK’HLOR has had a home in minny since the 1970s
And of course they miss the XP
OH DAMN