Your Vegas Forward Early Morning Open Thread

Yes, The City of (even more!) Degenerates is hosting a DFO get-together. As I type this post our brethren are snuggled safely in their escort’s arms, last night’s shenanigans forgotten for now. Please remember to put the agreed-upon monies on the dresser as is Vegas custom!

To The Game!

-Well, what do you know, the game is being hosted by Deutsche Bank Park. The financial institution that is the money launderer to the stars, terrorists, despots, unions and just plain criminals like you and me-well, not me, just you. A quick search tells me that they’ve been fined close to 300 million Adenauers since 2015 by the US alone!

-Tyreek is chasing 2,000 yards but is also chasing the entire Chiefs wide receiver corps and he’s only 171 yards behind. I pooh-poohed the idea of 2K when he announced it, silly me.

-Yeah, those K.C. wr’s are nasty. According to ESPN’s receiver tracking metrics, which analyze separation, catch percentage and yards after catch, as a unit they are dead last. (surprisingly, the Texans Nico Collins and Tank Dell are in the top 7)

-Making things that much more difficult is the fact that Miami’s starting corners are together for the first time all year. Xavien Howard and Jalen Ramsay should shut down the outside.

-The one Chiefs wr that has a bit of momentum is the rookie Rice, whose targets are increasing and who plays out of the slot the majority of the time-he gets slot cb Kader Kohou.

-Tua is playing out of his mind and has a consecutive TD streak of 17 which is the league’s longest right now. His yardage prop of 273.5 seems silly given that he averages 302 so far this year. But the Chiefs are cheap on that end, giving up only 176.1 yards per tilt. Maybe take Mostert’s rush prop, whatever that is.

-There’s one nagging concern about the high-flying Fins and that is that they have yet to beat a team with a winning record. Well, now’s the time.

I once went on a date with a German lass that was from Garmisch Partenkirchen. True story.

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Gatoraids

No way Andy Reid wasn’t going to be prepared for a city of Frankfurters

2Pack

He knows there is a schnitzel waiting for him after this.

Redshirt

…but the city of Frankfurters wasn’t prepared for Andy Reid.

Dunstan

Germany had to tap into its Strategic Mustard Reserve

Horatio Cornblower

OK, I’m dipping out. One of our friends had a parent pass away with the bad timing that the viewing hours are on a football Sunday. I mean, who does that!?

BeefReeferLives

Hmm. Now thinking of having my memorial service / wake with big screen teevees on either side of my urn showing the game with a keg & snacks….

WCS

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Brocky

My grandpa died two days after the bears lost the superbowl.

That’s all we talked about at the wake. Fucking sexcannon

WCS

He’s goin’ down field.

Gumbygirl

My dad died two days after the Steelers won their last Superbowl. People sent flowers to the funeral home with black and gold ribbons, because they knew he was a huge fan.

Redshirt

I told my family a long time ago if I die, throw my body into International Waters and take my life insurance money to Las Vegas.

Brocky

So, you know that thing where some haunted houses are open the week after Halloween?

I did that last night, twas cool. They had a taco truck and beer on site

Horatio Cornblower

Also less crowds.

Brocky

Yep

Doktor Zymm

We only got Me, Brick, and Yeah Right out here. Litre just woke up and is on the way

WCS

Four left.

King Hippo

But if’n I remember my Highlander, there can only be ONE

2Pack

Please tell us that you have at least stole a cop car by now.

blaxabbath

I’ve been spending the first half as OC for for the Chiefs, it seems…..

yeah right

I’m not dead yet!

TheRevanchist

I am loving this Germany game. KC should play in Germany more often.

2Pack

The talking heads have a point about them arriving on Monday. It’s a small thing but real. Every day you can get to counter the time change makes a difference.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s nice to see what happens when Tyreek Hill tries to tackle someone his own size.

Redshirt

“What the hell?!”
-Poland, September 1, 1939
-Miami Dolphins, November 5, 2023

WCS

Banner

Horatio Cornblower

Seconded

Gatoraids

German fans cheer as this game becomes a shit show

Mr. Ayo

There’s that public shitting they love so much!

BeefReeferLives

Speaking of halftime ideas, nothing beats some fun trivia questions for some good, clean fun…

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Sharkbait

Still can’t believe that got approved

jjfozz

“Wardrobe provided by Hugo Boss.” Maybe not.

Brocky
WCS

We all know the halftime show will involve Mrs. Cartman, so don’t pretend to be shocked or suprised.

BeefReeferLives

…with a glass topped table. Gotta appeal to the hometown crowd.

Redshirt

What is German for BLEERGH?

WCS

ASCHUCECLEUESCUCLEUESCHOUFFENBACHE

BeefReeferLives

Needs an umlaut or two in there somewhere…

WCS

Five or eight.

Horatio Cornblower

Do you suppose the German announcers are call it a “blitz,” or have they maybe come up with another term?

Gumbygirl

Blitzkreig?

Redshirt

Berlin! or Luftangriff!

jjfozz

Half Time Show: “Jesse Owens’ Highlights from Berlin 1936.”

I’m sure the stands will be packed.

BeefReeferLives

With a preview showing of “Boys in the Boat”

jjfozz

Never heard of that movie, now it’s on the must watch list.

BeefReeferLives

The book’s good. Looking forward to the flick.

Redshirt

The Nazi Party of Germany disavows all connection to Stephen Miller and is appalled of any connection to him.

jjfozz

He’s the kind of guy you wish would get fucking stomped. What a piece of shit human being. The fact that fucking people like this assume leadership in our country is pathetic.

Horatio Cornblower

Mahomes falls to the ground and starts begging for a penalty he doesn’t deserve. The German crowd applauds wildly! Finally, something from the Bundesliga they can relate to.

Redshirt

This boring game is punishment for Germany giving us both World Wars.

Gatoraids

first half a tribute to WWI trench warfare

Gumbygirl

Needs more mustard gas.

Brocky

Idk about t-swift’s reception in Germany, she’s too casual one local was quoted:

nein, I hear she does not wear zee short skirtz nor zee high heelz, but rather thee ridikulous t-shirtz und sneakerz!

TheRevanchist

This comment is not getting enough love.

Brocky

I unintentionally memorized that stupid ass song from my first job, they played it all the God damn time, it’s seared into my memory

2Pack

My halftime show recommendation. I saw them at Monsters of Rock 84 in Karlsruhe. Pretty good once you get past all the leather.

https://youtu.be/tZYXxglYiDw?si=nfUN0C1BjLFoXYp5

Gumbygirl

No. This is halftime, or I will riot.
https://youtu.be/Im3JzxlatUs?si=BG4PbRBaHpaY1WvE

Sharkbait

I always liked this version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lERqGULWxs

King Hippo

Halftime music:

https://vimeo.com/147959336

Sharkbait

I see we both got the Sprockets memo

jjfozz

The halftime show doesn’t include any rousing public speeches, does it?

Redshirt

No, I don’t think Trump wakes up this early.

Sharkbait

Is this the halftime show?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHZR9SA5pOg

2Pack

Hope so. Gonna need some real action after all the punts.

Gatoraids

just going to play Germany’s most disturbing home videos

2Pack

They we’re in his time zone… where’s bk109?

King Hippo

He might have gone back to North Korea, on leg two of his vacay

2Pack

Into the second quarter of a Chiefs “home” game and no Tay Tay shot? Is something wrong?

Gumbygirl

Here she is, dressed like a local

taylor-swift-performs-at-1989-world-tour-concert-300x450.jpg
2Pack

Ja… Das iz gut…

King Hippo

You’d expect the Germans would love her – she’s tall, pale, AND blonde!

Redshirt

I think a Dolphins fan has here tied up in a basement somewhere. She’s tied to a bed and gagged. Her eyes are filled with fear…and a longing of an urge she didn’t know she had. A drop of sweet falls down her cheek, her chin and down towards…

I’ll be in my bunk.

Gatoraids

Not even a Schenker shot

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King Hippo

The locals are losing interest – quick, somebody defecate publicly!

Gatoraids

NFL network calling Najeh Davenport as the sidelines reporter

jjfozz

Miss Fozz wanted to watch mass this morning – it has never turned out well, it’s a huge waste of time – I informed her we were worshipping at the Altar of the Shield.

King Hippo

Find an uncomfortable chair, sit quietly and think of sommet else – it will be the same damned thing!

jjfozz

She feels so guilty about us not going to mass on a weekly basis, I don’t. It’s bullshit. I’ve told her countless times I don’t need to go to a building, give money to defend fucking pedophiles, and be surrounded by hypocrites. I’ll communicate with the big guy my own way.

So we watch mass – and it’s total bedlam, every time. And . . . my boys have a hard time being corrected when she’s on her phone texting.

Redshirt

God is omnipresent. You can worship anywhere.

Romans 6:23 says we’ve all sinned and fallen short of God. No need to go to Catholics who’ve put themselves between you and God.

Luke 6:37 says to judge not or you will be judged as well. Those who defend and enable those who pray on the innocent have no right to judge or question others.

Brocky

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Don T

Buenos días.There was loud Mexican music outside until 4 AM. Luckily I slept through it, on account of wreckness.

BeefReeferLives

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Gumbygirl

There’s one of the Vegas folk! And not in jail! Honestly, that’s kind of disappointing. Do better.

King Hippo

I assured Litre that Puerto Rican men were not allowed to die without maternal permission.

Gumbygirl

That Van Ginkel fella seems very Aryan.

BeefReeferLives

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Dunstan
Cecil Rhodes

Guten tag, mein Kommentariat kollegen! It is not everyday that you have an Amerikanischer fussball match in ze greatest nation in ze Weld! I look forward to watching both squadrons engineer drives that would make ze conquest of the Sudetenland look like a walk through ze Schwarzwald! Prost!

Gumbygirl

Morning, Brick.

Gumbygirl

My cat knocked my water off the nightstand at 0darkthirty. Like 2 hours before my alarm was set to go off at the crack of dawn! Now he’s desperately trying to be cute. Not falling for that shit, Henry! [ Narrator: She fell for that shit.]

BeefReeferLives

Awww. Can’t stay mad at the lil kitteh! Lil feller was probably just going to get a drink.

BeefReeferLives

Flower, Empress of the Condo, has determined that the water that the Good Mrs. Reefer has been drinking is the best tasting water.

Therefore, we have taken to leaving decoy glasses of water by where the Good Mrs. Reefer usually sits and sleeps to keep The Empress properly hydrated.

A cat rules our lives. We are pathetic.

Gumbygirl

Nope, he was being an asshole.

jjfozz

My first serious girlfriend post college moved out of her parent’s house and into an apartment . . . and got a cat. I am a dog person through and through. It led to a few arguments, but I finally got used to that feline. Kind of.

BeefReeferLives

Detente. “I won’t kill you if you don’t shit in my shoe”

Gatoraids

fall back also seems to be the defense strategy today

BeefReeferLives

Ooo. “The Chop” in Germany is, uh, kinda problematic.

Brocky

I mean, is there a hand motion for…. the other thing?

(No I am not saying that shit outloud that’s too dark even for me)

King Hippo

Wait until Judon is in town next week!

Gumbygirl

Oh, that’s hilarious!

jjfozz

Oh, that’s so ghetto. Sorry. Really, really sorry.

Gumbygirl

It was funny. You get a gold star.

Brocky

Oh jeez that’s a Google I’m trying in incognito mode

BeefReeferLives

Yes. Yes there is…

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Brocky

I got the espn notification nfl, that touchdown fucking counts

Brocky

I deserve twice the points for twice the notifications.

Redshirt

Okay. I think Kansas City is pissed off from last week’s egg laying.

Gumbygirl

That was quick. Or not!

Redshirt

-Redshirt’s Prom Date

BeefReeferLives

If at 1st you don’t succeed..

BeefReeferLives

Oooo. A Chef’s player besides Kelce actually caught a pass.

A fortuitous portent for them…

Redshirt

My Closed Captionsing is going full Backstroke of the West on Germany’s anthem.

Redshirt

Crowd: “Sind beide Kader gut? Können Sie das tun?”

Dunstan

Really like this series, and Squeeze is a very underrated band. I saw them open for Hall & Oates a couple of years ago.

King Hippo

We’re all here so we don’t get fined!

Redshirt

Yes, I am definitely Redshirt and not some crazy homeless person he found on the street he paid five bucks and a ham sandwich to post on this forum so he can fall asleep.

There is a hole in my tinfoil hat! The Illuminati can get inside my head! AH!!! Go back asleep! You’re one of them! You won’t control my thoughts! At least let me finish my sandwich! jkfadls;jfkd sajkfkjsad fajfkdo;ldsfjklsda fmasmk

(yawn) That’s what I get for being distracted by the foil hat. I’m here.

2Pack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3aGZZueg08

After last nights rain, the first snow capped mountians view of the season. Its a pretty day.

Gumbygirl

I told Gumby the other day I’m ready to see some snow on Mt. San Jacinto!

Redshirt

Report: Players and coaches ripped into Josh McDaniels at team meeting before firing (msn.com)

Sounds like McDaniels took the Come-To-Jesus Meeting too literally.

BeefReeferLives

Not so much a “Come to Jesus” as a “Go To Hell” meeting…

Fronkenshteen

[clocks go back]

[alarm goes off!]

[everyone else (appropriately) sleeps in]

[door flies open]

[runs through goddamn wall anyway with homemade football helmet made of discarded Halloween candy collection pail with handle/chinstrap and improperly spaced eyes because I cut them out without measuring my face]
 
[trips over coffee table]

[crudite akimbo]

[smashes head on credenza]

[loses consciousness]

[is discovered by a VERY confused Hippo]

WCS

I’m here. Temporarily.

BeefReeferLives

Aren’t we all, really?

https://existentialasshole.tumblr.com/

BeefReeferLives

Shamelessly stolen from site above:

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Redshirt

[steps over Fronk on the way to DFO Irish Coffee Machine]

BeefReeferLives

Aw wow man, I saw Crudite Akimbo open for Mudhoney back in ’89.