Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
We are all brothers under the skin, and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it [in bed].
Ayn Rand

Wow, that’s dark, even without the “in bed” joke. And while I get the sentiment, I’m not going to help with the cleanup.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Oh the irony of teh hippo instructing us to look up an idiomatic expression that is actually from the Queen’s English.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Can’t believe it lasted this long and would imagine it will be picked again but I’ll take the Blair Witch Project. Old camera and some hiking gear, maybe a bundle of sticks and you’ve got a costume you could repeat forever.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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So many kneecaps getting bitten tonight.
Horatio Cornblower

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I ended up ordering Indian for dinner tonight. Mrs. Sharkbait and I devoured some butter chicken
Sharkbait

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Can’t believe it lasted this long and would imagine it will be picked again but I’ll take the Blair Witch Project. Old camera and some hiking gear, maybe a bundle of sticks and you’ve got a costume you could repeat forever.
WCS

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Aikman talking about QBs playing with their minds is like Trump talking about how to live an honest life.
jjfozz

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“We haven’t been featured on Monday Night Football since 2018! What say we wear our drab gray uniforms that nobody can stand to look at?”

-Lions PR Team
scotchnaut

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Max Crosby is legit insane. One of the few men in this world who don’t look silly with neck tattoos.

Actually, I’m getting a neck tattoo.

Gonna say: Emily in Paris Forever
jjfozz

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Here’s a good one.

Saturday we go to dinner with my best friend and his wife.

They show up to my house to pre-game.

Best friend brings me a gummie. Thank you.

Great night.

Wake up Sunday, check my calendar. Whoops. I have an appointment Monday to take a physical for life insurance – mainly a urine and blood sample for analysis.

Ummmmm.

I tell Mrs. Fozz.

“You know you’re 54 and a father, right? This isn’t college. God you’re dumb.”
jjfozz

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Too long for a fantasy team name: Donovan Peoples-Jones United-Jones Will Never Be Defeated-Jones
Senor Weaselo

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This fucking Home Depot commercial, where the family is happily doing a bathroom project, and then happily goes to a clean, well lit Home Depot with competent employees who aren’t nodding off in the toilet department, and then happily pick out the pieces they need, conveniently located right where they are supposed to be – pisses me the fuck off.

You want reality? Come to my house when me, my wife, and one of my jackass sons are doing a home project, coming close to decapitating each other with a fucking rusty chain, have to get in the car and drive to the shit pit Home Depot in our neighborhood.

Then plow through fat fucking Karens in their stretched to death yoga pants; their numbnuts husbands in NASCAR caps, and dirty rugrats, to wander for an hour until we find the zombie attendant who says, “Hmsdfafsd uhh adfkj” in response to our questions.

Follow us home, where we’re tired, sweaty and contemplating running away to motherfucking Haiti.
jjfozz

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I guess when I watch more shitty football I get more comment recognition.

What a perverse incentive structure.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
[runs through clubhouse wearing nothing but a Raiders bandana wrapped around his wing-wang, pauses to place a visor around said wing-wang, twirls, it around like a hula hoop, then throws it symbolically into the fireplace]
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Recycled NFL coaches and Zymm-An Observation/Stay With Me.

I’ve long railed about less than adequate coaches in the NFL getting well-paid jobs over and over again. But I got to thinking. Imagine you are Zymm in the early days. Things have come to a head and-damnit!-nothing less than an underground lair will do. Who does one reach out to?

Well first you’re going to consult with Hank Scorpio, Ernst Blofeld, Bruce Wayne, V and Dr. Evil. Who are they going to recommend? It’s not going to be Joe’s Aluminum Siding and Septic Services. You’re not going with some goober no matter how low the bid. They’ll be reccing Gustave Rothschild and Sons, builders of secret lairs since 1795. It doesn’t really matter about the overall quality of their work-the fact that they have experience building lairs that sometimes explode but other times have stood the test of time? That’s what matters!
scotchnaut

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Two solid hours of my life wasted by meetings. What the Jesus-fuck did I just do?
jjfozz

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Boy oh boy do I fucking hate the Steelers.
jjfozz

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Middle Fozz Spawn got called up to the varsity squad for the big rival game against my alma mater on Thanksgiving Day. Excuse while I walk around with my chest puffed out.
jjfozz

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Don T and Zymms baggage caroUsels are next to each other. #blessed
litre_cola

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Guess I should mosey over and see if anyone needs to be bailed out.
yeah right

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I can’t wait for The Golden Bachelor finale, where we get to watch them fall asleep on the couch at 8:45 pm while Fox News blares at ear-splitting volume in the background.
Horatio Cornblower

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We drove by a Dick’s sporting goods store today, and I said to my son, “Dicks! Get it?” And he rolled his eyes and then I said, “I tell you what, if there was a store called ‘Big Tits’, I’d definitely check it out.”

He was mortified, embarrassed, but completely laughing his ass off.

I’m a good father.
jjfozz

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We only got Me, Brick, and Yeah Right out here. Litre just woke up and is on the way
Doktor Zymm

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“What the hell?!”
-Poland, September 1, 1939
-Miami Dolphins, November 5, 2023
Redshirt

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German fans cheer as this game becomes a shit show
Gatoraids

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The locals are losing interest – quick, somebody defecate publicly!
King Hippo

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Miss Fozz wanted to watch mass this morning – it has never turned out well, it’s a huge waste of time – I informed her we were worshipping at the Altar of the Shield.
jjfozz

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Don T and Blax going to the Raiders game.

Don T’s first NFL game ever!

Fucking awesome.
yeah right

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Currently posted up at my sister in laws until Thursday. Mrs sharkbait and I are watching their two kids while they’re on vacation. They owe us big time
Sharkbait

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Oh that’s right, it’s almost Veteran’s Day, when the NFL switches from pretending to care about women to pretending to care about veterans.
Horatio Cornblower

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“This looks like a different Raiders team….”

Because they’re playing the Giants. Jesus, this isn’t calculus.
Horatio Cornblower

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Giants losing to-

-an interim coach

-an OC that doesn’t know how the intercom system works

-an owner that doesn’t know that his tonight girlfriend is paid by his personal assistant

-a QB that was drafted from the cast of Super Troopers
scotchnaut

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I don’t usually gamble, even in Vegas and last night I had my ass handed to me on a concrete platter but tonight?
I had one of those runs where you can feel the bad hands coming and you know when to bet heavy.

I kicked serious ass on the black jack table at the 4 Queens and it was incredible.

The table is looking at me, it’s a 15 dollar table and I dropped 50, dealer is holding a 5 and I doubled down. Won 100 with a 13 hand.

Awesome.
yeah right

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OH MY GOD WILL THERE BE A CROSSOVER WITH EMILY IN PARIS WITH THE PARIS OLYMPICS? IF THERE IS, I’LL FUCKING FUCK KILL THE WORLD
jjfozz

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This afternoon slate was one of the few times I think I should’ve just watched a single game instead of RedZone. They kept trying to show me Giants-Raiders and I eventually just started reading about the War of the Fourth Coalition on Wikipedia.
hippofant

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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