A mere three games to whet your whistle. Business as usual I guess. How many qb’s died or had near-death experiences in the early games? More Rookie QB’s Need To Play, I say.
To The Games!
Bucs/Niners:
Did you know that Tampa has the league’s best red zone D? Doesn’t seem right somehow, does it? That’s what my homework tells me. Speaking of homework, maybe a certain company’s IT department could have done some work ahead and checked the name of the file they sent over to us. Or maybe the cb’s/safeties allow longer throws? Play your Godwins and Evans’s’s-as a whole the San Fran secondary has allowed a 73% catch rate the last three weeks. While their run D is something to behold they surrender wee passes to rb’s on a regular basis so Rashaad should be good.
Jets/Bills:
I guess the Buffalo O has to be called The Brady Bunch because it’s simple and expected and I thought of it so naturally a lazy sportswriter would phone in as well. All that remains is who is going to play Alice? My vote is for Khalil Shakir. Them Jets haven’t scored a TD in two straight so to remedy the situation they (among other things) jettisoned Michael Carter and activated Israel Abanikanda, the speedy fella/rook out of Pitt. The Bills, thanks mostly to Josh’s regression, have 18 turnovers so far, good for second league-wise. Expect more today.
Seahawks/Rams:
I had the Rams as my sneaky good team at the beginning of the year, thinking that it would be hard to get the O off the field because of the two masterful chain-movers they have in Nacua and Kupp. (and maybe to a lesser extent in Tutu) But lo, another Fatt injury derailed that train of thought. Stafford should be looking over his shoulder at Boye Mafa, who has a sack in seven straight games.
Enjoy.
Why on earth would you not try to get 10-15 more yards?
/last Friday
Me: “I’ll be taking Thursday and Friday off next week.”
Office Manager: [smiling] “Is it American Thanksgiving already?”
Me: “How did you know?”
Office Manager: “You’ve been doing this for at least a decade.”
Me: “…..”
#metoo
Aww, if you want to become a US Citizen that bad you just have to go through The Seven Trials like the rest of us did when we turned 13
Lost my 1st parlay by half a point. Going to lose my late games parlay by a half a point unless RAMMIT rams it in.
Then you’re a LOCK to win that late one.
Truthers not taking their timeouts, because they don’t want to see any more Horse Cock Lock.
Need some air fryer onion recipe recs. I just pulled mine out. FlavoUr and crunch are there but visually disappointing; not what pics online showed. If you have thoughts, I’m all ears.
Fill the fryer with oil; proceed as usual
My first thought? I maybe should have substituted Roberta Vasquez of Andy Sidaris movie fame instead of Shannon Whirry. Hope this helps!
This guy gets it!
Grey Cup real good so far. Better than this late game slate.
*sigh*
SEA/LAR is the only late game that’s remotely competitive. Yet somehow, still the worst one.
It’s like a blooper reel, but continuous instead of clips
BLEEERGH is really pissing me off right now
If I owned fantasy a pick six would be -6 points for the qb. Also, a late ’80’s Shannon Whirry would be a detective that used sex to get answers out of me on a regular basis.
My other league is. Next year TWBS league will be.
And what about Shannon Whirry? Has she accepted the league invite?
We may set up promotion and relegation. I believe someone volunteered to be the commish of Ligue Deux.
I am… skeptical… that Drew Lock can win this game.
Still, though. HUGE penis.
Just got home, turned on RedZone. Lock throws a pick.
So hopeless for the Jest they pur an IRISHMAN in at quartered back.
Potatoes don’t count against the salary cap
We talkin Peruvian or Irish?
Eat shit BLEEERGH. That was a terrible call.
Just realized that I have never even made the playoffs in The TWBS memorial league.
#MeToo
/pretty sure
I mean it is 14 teams ….
Change it to a 10 person playoff next year?
What a pity. Doesn’t seem that difficult. I won last year with an auto draft.
AND YOU ENJOYED YOUR BIG TURK
I think it far more fair to say I “experienced” the Big Turk.
They need to quit throwing before they ruin his perfect QBR
Alicedown!
Well, Thursday should be a blast!
Burrow:
Gee, I Can’t Wait til I go to High School! – YouTube
Wilson and Saleh were both nearly taken out on the same play. I don’t know what God(s) the NFL has pissed off, but I think its time to make amends.
Or the Gods that were called in on short notice on a Sunday-their aim is off.
Dionysus: “I’m way too hungover for this shit. Someone get me a breakfast burrito.”
Add Geno to the list of the ded??
God. Fucking. DAMMIT!
And almost Saleh, lol
We have entered the follies!
You could see he was halfway between saving Zach Wilson or going “f- it” and completing the Rock Bottom.
Nice Belly-to-Back Suplex by Gardner!
I like how they came out of the half like FUCK IT, let’s FIGHT
They stuffed MILF-Hunter Z in a locker at halftime, so they were already riled up.
NYJ QB Rodgers: Out for Season
MIN QB Cousins: Out for Season
IND QB Richardson: Out for Season
NYG QB Jones: Out for Season
CLE QB Watson: Out for Season
CIN QB Burrow: Out for Season
In other bad news for fans:
BUF QB Allen: Alive and Well
LVR COACH McDaniels: Out for Ever
He’s Staley’s replacement with the Spanoi next.
Sweet, the Grey Cup is streaming for free from CFL+! Hello, second screen.
BOMBERS 4evah
Is it one forward pass per play, or one forward pass per team per play? As in, if you intercept a forward pass can you throw a forward pass?
Only the offense can throw a forward pass. But that rule should be changed. I want to see an intercepted Hail Mary turn into a defensive Hail Mary that succeeds.
Or infinite Hails Mary at the end of a tied game.
Multiball?
Obligatory Free-For-All ball thrown by Josh.*
*[ticks spot on bingo card]
Charbonnet sounds like some sort of fancy mushroom
Huh. Sounds like a fortified wine that is just a bit off.
Fortified mushroom wine perhaps?
That sends you to a town just outside Lyon when you drink it…
Send me immediately.
Shingles could cause me to miss FAMILY TIME?
I’m listening…
Doctor: “It’s really painful.”
Pirate Sloth: “But I’d miss FAMILY TIME, correct?”
Doctor: “Yes.”
Pirate Sloth: “Is there a downside to this condition?”
Doctor: “…..”
My family is having Thanksgiving at my parents’ house so my dad can have likely his last Thanksgiving with his family.
The man already has ALS. Isn’t he suffering enough?!
The Jets were so excited about getting a TD that they forgot how bad their offense is and tried to go for two. Just like when an excited puppy pisses all over itself.
Puppies are cute and grow up which cannot be said about the Jest offense.
Bills Scout: “Do you want to play for Buffalo, son?”
Prospect: “Would I? Of course!”
Bills Scout: “And are you willing to pay a premium for on-field ambulance rescue insurance?”
Prospect: “Yes, I sure… Wait. What?”
We also would have accepted:
“Would I? Of course!”
/monkey’s paw curls
BREECE WOO!!!!!
Did the Buccs nawt notice that Deebo returned last week and is active in the game they are currently playing?
The Bills are legit cursed. If it’s because of building Highmark on top of that old cemetery then maybe the new stadium will fix it
The new stadium is being built over multiple pet cemeteries.
Bills GM: “…we are going to dig up the pet’s coffins, bust them open, mix up the bones, bury the coffins upside down and piss on the graves.”
Reporter: “How the hell would that cancel out a curse?!”
Bill GM: “Cancel out what now?”
ALL HAIL POWDERNAUT
SO GOOD
“Lions record of 8-2 is the best since One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich was first published. Makes you think.”
-B. Simmons
MAYBE
A new Tom Tupa for the Jest??
Hippo’s strategy of making me bench my productive players (Saquon) and killing my active players (Andrews, Achane, K. Wilson III) is working.
Also, making sure TB doesn’t cover Aiyuk. Good call there.
I may be up to a coinflip chance now
Oh I think you got this. Me waking up and going “I think Saquon does nothing today” was your game-winner.
Wifey is doing what I should be doing-sleeping thru these games.
I am totes writing up the interesting games already. Will be almost sad to finish (PHRASING).
You always finish late on Sunday nights. (this would be a great line to give to that CVS cashier-ess you’ve had your eye on)
Ayo, message me on Twitter, so we can coordinate Thurs. @ThePirateSloth
Haha I did not know our comments would link like that.
Even by his own lofty standards…MILF-Hunter Z is REALLY bad today.
*I posted that BEFORE the pickerception. You can’t leave him in the game now. The rest of the team will mutiny.
Even living at home I certainly hope DeVito doesn’t have his mother making his bed
The amount of Blax Socks underneath she finds is just gross.
Eh, not as bad as having your dad and his sexy new trophy wife muss it up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKEBNEGCHnc
The one SMRT thing I did this week – upon seeing that Michael Wilson wasn’t going to play, I decided to cut him in Vodka league and pick up someone on spec. Charbonnet.
apologies for the HEAT in this TAEK, but I’m starting to believe RRRRRRRAM IT!! ain’t very good
But, but, PUKA!
you called yer shot, Bastard Man!!
God. Fucking. DAMMIT!
You may find this hard to believe, but sometimes good players play on bad teams!
You mean like Terry McLaurin and Johan Dotson?
I think she was remembering the late, great Ryan Kerrigan.
If Nancy looks confused in this picture it’s because she’s much more used to being under the table.
https://twitter.com/BeschlossDC/status/1726362307624919076
I’d have paid big monies to see Nancy and Barbra go toe-to-toe with the weapons of their choice back in the ’70’s.
Betty Ford also spent lots of time under the table, but that’s because she was a raging alcoholic.
https://twitter.com/BallsackSports/status/1726349528578597179
Can’t see it anywhere else which is odd-Ballsack Sports never leaves me hanging.
What in the entire fuck.
Jim Nantz: “We’re back in 30”
Me, opening a book: You know what? Take your time.
yeah this window is kind of a turd
69 yds of penalties!
Make the whole offense out of BLEEEEERGH!
We’ll always have the Jets.
-Rudy Giuliani, trying to remind people of that brief moment in time when he wasn’t universally mocked and despised
He’s been remarkably quiet lately. I’m curious as to how he’s funding his criminal defense. And all those martinis he’s been drinking aren’t free, either.
My best guess is he’s going to kill himself.
Which, to be clear, I’m totally OK with.
He had his apartment up for sale a while back. Don’t know if it sold.
It’s still on the market. Listed at 6.5 mil in July, price down to 6.1 as of October 30. Shame!
THEY WENT AFTER HIM BECAUSE HE’S ITALIAN! EVERYONE KNOWS THIS!
You know Snyder has the lines stripped and melted down for the copper on his way out.
https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/1726355763134656955
“I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. I’m very impressed!”
-M. Brown, Cincinnati
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Tank Dell is personally responsible for me winning three games out of five in MATH HARD! league. Soon to be four if I’m lucky.
Spam didn’t play Saquon OR Prison Girlfriend AND got 1.3 points out of 8-chan (that MIA RB who got hurt first series).
He’s still got me beat.
In Freezer Vodka I somehow lucked into having both Stroud and Dell, might manage to edge into the playoffs with ’em
In his old age, perhaps The Gospel According to Fatthew can become Boba Fatt.