Your Skinny Late Slate Open Thread

A mere three games to whet your whistle. Business as usual I guess. How many qb’s died or had near-death experiences in the early games? More Rookie QB’s Need To Play, I say.

To The Games!

Bucs/Niners:

Did you know that Tampa has the league’s best red zone D? Doesn’t seem right somehow, does it? That’s what my homework tells me. Speaking of homework, maybe a certain company’s IT department could have done some work ahead and checked the name of the file they sent over to us. Or maybe the cb’s/safeties allow longer throws? Play your Godwins and Evans’s’s-as a whole the San Fran secondary has allowed a 73% catch rate the last three weeks. While their run D is something to behold they surrender wee passes to rb’s on a regular basis so Rashaad should be good.

Jets/Bills:

I guess the Buffalo O has to be called The Brady Bunch because it’s simple and expected and I thought of it so naturally a lazy sportswriter would phone in as well. All that remains is who is going to play Alice? My vote is for Khalil Shakir. Them Jets haven’t scored a TD in two straight so to remedy the situation they (among other things) jettisoned Michael Carter and activated Israel Abanikanda, the speedy fella/rook out of Pitt. The Bills, thanks mostly to Josh’s regression, have 18 turnovers so far, good for second league-wise. Expect more today.

Seahawks/Rams:

I had the Rams as my sneaky good team at the beginning of the year, thinking that it would be hard to get the O off the field because of the two masterful chain-movers they have in Nacua and Kupp. (and maybe to a lesser extent in Tutu) But lo, another Fatt injury derailed that train of thought. Stafford should be looking over his shoulder at Boye Mafa, who has a sack in seven straight games.

Enjoy.

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King Hippo

Why on earth would you not try to get 10-15 more yards?

litre_cola

#metoo

herodotus450

Aww, if you want to become a US Citizen that bad you just have to go through The Seven Trials like the rest of us did when we turned 13

litre_cola

Lost my 1st parlay by half a point. Going to lose my late games parlay by a half a point unless RAMMIT rams it in.

Mr. Ayo

Then you’re a LOCK to win that late one.

King Hippo

Truthers not taking their timeouts, because they don’t want to see any more Horse Cock Lock.

The Maestro

Need some air fryer onion recipe recs. I just pulled mine out. FlavoUr and crunch are there but visually disappointing; not what pics online showed. If you have thoughts, I’m all ears.

herodotus450

Fill the fryer with oil; proceed as usual

ballsofsteelandfury

This guy gets it!

The Maestro

Grey Cup real good so far. Better than this late game slate.

ThePirateSloth

*sigh*

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King Hippo

SEA/LAR is the only late game that’s remotely competitive. Yet somehow, still the worst one.

Doktor Zymm

It’s like a blooper reel, but continuous instead of clips

Mr. Ayo

BLEEERGH is really pissing me off right now

litre_cola

My other league is. Next year TWBS league will be.

litre_cola

We may set up promotion and relegation. I believe someone volunteered to be the commish of Ligue Deux.

Last edited 11 months ago by litre_cola
ThePirateSloth

I am… skeptical… that Drew Lock can win this game.

King Hippo

Still, though. HUGE penis.

litre_cola

Just got home, turned on RedZone. Lock throws a pick.

King Hippo

So hopeless for the Jest they pur an IRISHMAN in at quartered back.

Doktor Zymm

Potatoes don’t count against the salary cap

WCS

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litre_cola

We talkin Peruvian or Irish?

Mr. Ayo

Eat shit BLEEERGH. That was a terrible call.

litre_cola

Just realized that I have never even made the playoffs in The TWBS memorial league.

litre_cola

I mean it is 14 teams ….

Doktor Zymm

Change it to a 10 person playoff next year?

Mr. Ayo

What a pity. Doesn’t seem that difficult. I won last year with an auto draft.

litre_cola

AND YOU ENJOYED YOUR BIG TURK

Mr. Ayo

I think it far more fair to say I “experienced” the Big Turk.

King Hippo

They need to quit throwing before they ruin his perfect QBR

ThePirateSloth

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Mr. Ayo

Well, Thursday should be a blast!

ThePirateSloth

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Redshirt
Redshirt

Wilson and Saleh were both nearly taken out on the same play. I don’t know what God(s) the NFL has pissed off, but I think its time to make amends.

King Hippo

Add Geno to the list of the ded??

Mr. Ayo

God. Fucking. DAMMIT!

Doktor Zymm

And almost Saleh, lol

King Hippo

We have entered the follies!

Redshirt

You could see he was halfway between saving Zach Wilson or going “f- it” and completing the Rock Bottom.

Redshirt

Nice Belly-to-Back Suplex by Gardner!

King Hippo

I like how they came out of the half like FUCK IT, let’s FIGHT

WCS

They stuffed MILF-Hunter Z in a locker at halftime, so they were already riled up.

Redshirt

NYJ QB Rodgers: Out for Season
MIN QB Cousins: Out for Season
IND QB Richardson: Out for Season
NYG QB Jones: Out for Season
CLE QB Watson: Out for Season
CIN QB Burrow: Out for Season

In other bad news for fans:

BUF QB Allen: Alive and Well

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

LVR COACH McDaniels: Out for Ever

WCS

He’s Staley’s replacement with the Spanoi next.

Mr. Ayo

Sweet, the Grey Cup is streaming for free from CFL+! Hello, second screen.

litre_cola

BOMBERS 4evah

Doktor Zymm

Is it one forward pass per play, or one forward pass per team per play? As in, if you intercept a forward pass can you throw a forward pass?

Mr. Ayo

Only the offense can throw a forward pass. But that rule should be changed. I want to see an intercepted Hail Mary turn into a defensive Hail Mary that succeeds.

Or infinite Hails Mary at the end of a tied game.

Redshirt

Multiball?

Doktor Zymm

Charbonnet sounds like some sort of fancy mushroom

Doktor Zymm

Fortified mushroom wine perhaps?

litre_cola

Send me immediately.

ThePirateSloth

Shingles could cause me to miss FAMILY TIME?

I’m listening…

Redshirt

My family is having Thanksgiving at my parents’ house so my dad can have likely his last Thanksgiving with his family.

The man already has ALS. Isn’t he suffering enough?!

Doktor Zymm

The Jets were so excited about getting a TD that they forgot how bad their offense is and tried to go for two. Just like when an excited puppy pisses all over itself.

WCS

Puppies are cute and grow up which cannot be said about the Jest offense.

WCS

We also would have accepted:

“Would I? Of course!”

/monkey’s paw curls

King Hippo

BREECE WOO!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

Did the Buccs nawt notice that Deebo returned last week and is active in the game they are currently playing?

Doktor Zymm

The Bills are legit cursed. If it’s because of building Highmark on top of that old cemetery then maybe the new stadium will fix it

WCS

The new stadium is being built over multiple pet cemeteries.

Redshirt

Bills GM: “…we are going to dig up the pet’s coffins, bust them open, mix up the bones, bury the coffins upside down and piss on the graves.”

Reporter: “How the hell would that cancel out a curse?!”

Bill GM: “Cancel out what now?”

WCS

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SonOfSpam

ALL HAIL POWDERNAUT

King Hippo

SO GOOD

WCS

MAYBE

King Hippo

A new Tom Tupa for the Jest??

SonOfSpam

Hippo’s strategy of making me bench my productive players (Saquon) and killing my active players (Andrews, Achane, K. Wilson III) is working.

SonOfSpam

Also, making sure TB doesn’t cover Aiyuk. Good call there.

King Hippo

I may be up to a coinflip chance now

SonOfSpam

Oh I think you got this. Me waking up and going “I think Saquon does nothing today” was your game-winner.

King Hippo

I am totes writing up the interesting games already. Will be almost sad to finish (PHRASING).

ThePirateSloth

Ayo, message me on Twitter, so we can coordinate Thurs.

ThePirateSloth

Haha I did not know our comments would link like that.

King Hippo

Even by his own lofty standards…MILF-Hunter Z is REALLY bad today.

King Hippo

*I posted that BEFORE the pickerception. You can’t leave him in the game now. The rest of the team will mutiny.

Doktor Zymm

Even living at home I certainly hope DeVito doesn’t have his mother making his bed

WCS

The amount of Blax Socks underneath she finds is just gross.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh, not as bad as having your dad and his sexy new trophy wife muss it up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKEBNEGCHnc

King Hippo

The one SMRT thing I did this week – upon seeing that Michael Wilson wasn’t going to play, I decided to cut him in Vodka league and pick up someone on spec. Charbonnet.

King Hippo

apologies for the HEAT in this TAEK, but I’m starting to believe RRRRRRRAM IT!! ain’t very good

Mr. Ayo

But, but, PUKA!

King Hippo

you called yer shot, Bastard Man!!

Mr. Ayo

God. Fucking. DAMMIT!

Doktor Zymm

You may find this hard to believe, but sometimes good players play on bad teams!

Mr. Ayo

You mean like Terry McLaurin and Johan Dotson?

King Hippo

I think she was remembering the late, great Ryan Kerrigan.

Horatio Cornblower

If Nancy looks confused in this picture it’s because she’s much more used to being under the table.

https://twitter.com/BeschlossDC/status/1726362307624919076

Brick Meathook

Betty Ford also spent lots of time under the table, but that’s because she was a raging alcoholic.

ThePirateSloth

What in the entire fuck.

Horatio Cornblower

Jim Nantz: “We’re back in 30”

Me, opening a book: You know what? Take your time.

King Hippo

yeah this window is kind of a turd

ThePirateSloth

69 yds of penalties!

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Mr. Ayo

Make the whole offense out of BLEEEEERGH!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ll always have the Jets.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

-Rudy Giuliani, trying to remind people of that brief moment in time when he wasn’t universally mocked and despised

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s been remarkably quiet lately. I’m curious as to how he’s funding his criminal defense. And all those martinis he’s been drinking aren’t free, either.

Last edited 11 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

My best guess is he’s going to kill himself.

Which, to be clear, I’m totally OK with.

Gumbygirl

He had his apartment up for sale a while back. Don’t know if it sold.

Gumbygirl

It’s still on the market. Listed at 6.5 mil in July, price down to 6.1 as of October 30. Shame!

jjfozz

THEY WENT AFTER HIM BECAUSE HE’S ITALIAN! EVERYONE KNOWS THIS!

Horatio Cornblower

You know Snyder has the lines stripped and melted down for the copper on his way out.

https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/1726355763134656955

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

King Hippo

Spam didn’t play Saquon OR Prison Girlfriend AND got 1.3 points out of 8-chan (that MIA RB who got hurt first series).

He’s still got me beat.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

In Freezer Vodka I somehow lucked into having both Stroud and Dell, might manage to edge into the playoffs with ’em

King Hippo

In his old age, perhaps The Gospel According to Fatthew can become Boba Fatt.