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Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: …Accidental 2010s Webcomics That Are Still Going on Binge?

Senor Weaselo

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We survived the short work week! (Okay, fine, I’m on a gig as of publishing time.) A long football weekend awaits, though I apologize in advance for the pending Tim Boyle Experience™.

(I tried to find a reference for this and got back into a Sam & Fuzzy kick, and still didn’t find the comic needed, but hey, I finally read that big climax arc after I caught up… sometime in 2017? Sorry about that, Sam Logan, but I’m caught up now! So next I should probably re-catch up on Questionable Content. Oh wait, here’s the bit.)

(43% of what I said? Clearly that number is too high.)

(Also, this would have been the Beat, because not during Thanksgiving, because FOOTBALL. But I was up the last two nights page formatting string quartet parts because I should have done them two weeks ago. Or, if I had gotten it done in a reasonable timeframe, 8 months ago.)

Meanwhile, in the news:

-Cops hate white billionaires, says white billionaire who got arrested that one time.

–Joe Flacco “can still play.” But can he still be ELITE? (I’d say no.)

-Breesus gave up His right arm to win the Super Bowl, as he can only throw left-handed now because of the shoulder injury back in 2005. When he was with the Chargers.

-Who can’t play? Jersey’s QBs, as Daniel Jones had ACL surgery.

-Donks S Kareem Jackson’s Pacman Jones Memorial Suspension was upheld. Yes, I know Pacman Jones is still alive, but, OH WE GON HEADHUNT, BULLEE DAT.

What’s on pre-Thanksgiving sports?

Hockey today, not tomorrow, yes Friday
BAHAHAHAHA Redux: (BOS vs. FLA, TNT, 7:00)
Nights Into Dreams (VGK vs. DAL, TNT, 9:30)

No Body cares until After the holidays
Genie Wish Twists vs. “Itchy Runs Afoul of an Irishman.” (MIL vs. BOS, 7:30, ESPN)
One of the teams that left Oakland vs. The Valley of the Shadow of Death (GSW vs. PHX, 10:00, ESPN)

JV Not Slamball
East Virginia vs. West Virginia (You’re welcome WCS!) (in progress, FS1)
Bear Dance vs. Niiiiice Beaver (#13 Baylor vs. Oregon State, 7:00, ESPN2)
Death Penalty U vs. Badger Badger Badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM (SMU vs. Wisconsin, 8:30, FS1)
“Oh Hot Damn, This is My Jam” vs. The Underground Pit (Florida vs. Pitt, 9:30, ESPN2)

Let’s all go home for the holidays, and by home I mean… the discussion below!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Spam’s Garfield joke down below is masterful

2
SonOfSpam

lol glad you started drinking

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sober as a bird

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Gumbygirl

Who among us?

2
Gumbygirl

High as a kite. Damn glad to meet you.

1
Gumbygirl

Yes! Speaking of down below, I have questions! Not about that, pervs. Here we go: 1. Is today Mr Ayo’s birthday? B. It tomorrow the Revanchist’s? And the 4th one, did Ball’s really propose to his girlfriend?

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Mr. Ayo

A) Yes, for 1.5 more hours
B) Yes
4) Yes

See, you are paying attention!

2
Gumbygirl

Happy birthday! Did the Kraken win?

2
Mr. Ayo

Damn straight! 7-1! Biggest win of the season!

2
Gumbygirl

They knew it was your birthday!

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ballsofsteelandfury

I can answer the third. Yes, but don’t expect the wedding any time soon. Engagement in principle, I suppose?

We’re in no hurry is what I’m saying.

(She’s NOT pregnant)

5
Mr. Ayo

We know. She can’t get pregnant from that hole.

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ballsofsteelandfury

EXACTLY!

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Gumbygirl

Those little fuckers are better swimmers than you think. You’d better have a Plan B.
I crack myself up- Plan B!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Plan Butt!

3
Gumbygirl

Congratulations! It’s about time you make an honest woman of that lady you’re dating/violating.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Definitely not the former. Possibly the latter?

Our relationship is… unconventional.

2
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT-5nNI8XCU

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup. I just DD’d for my sister, BIL, and a group of drunk 40-60 something’s, AMA.

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SonOfSpam

No questions, just kudos.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll eat those. Hand em over.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh man I haven’t thought about those things since the last time I had a Peanut Butter Bopper.

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Gumbygirl

Going to SIL’s in Riverside for Thanksgiving. Good thing, because if we weren’t invited, we’d be having this

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WCS

https://youtu.be/u2Jq_xT6DAg?si=GeTM2TMPnM2cV7rK&t=6

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jjfozz

Tomorrow’s dilemma.

I have to go to my son’s football game at 10, which means pre-game cocktails.

Then I have to come home and watch football, which means beers.

Then I have to go to my sister’s for dinner with my family, which means way more beers and drinks.

Then I have to come home to prepare my house for my wife’s christian trump conspiracy family.

I’m building a huge fire out back and drinking.

BUT

I have to be semiconscious enough to not be a dick to her family AND collect notes and insights for my Boots on the Ground story about her crazy family.

(I’m horrible for pacing my drinking, which means I could be comatose by 11:30 am.)

5
ballsofsteelandfury

I suggest you enlist the help of one of the Spawn to keep track of shit.

1
jjfozz

My oldest is going to be my wingman, and bartender.

3
Horatio Cornblower

We usually do Thanksgiving at home but this year were invited to a formal Thanksgiving dinner at an honest-to-God mansion in the area of Connecticut people think about when they think about where rich people live in CT.

Mrs. Horatio and I are going, (the kids ditched us, and I frankly don’t blame them; had I known about the dress code from jump street I probably would have declined), because we do really like the people who invited us, and it clearly meant a lot to them.

That said, we pull into the (very long and definitely gated), driveway and see anything like this,

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we are putting the car in reverse and getting the fuck out.

Unless there’s a selection of pies for dessert. I’m not a goddamn savage.

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Which town?

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Horatio Cornblower

Check the back channel.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I understand that this is also how Balls proposed, by the way.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Not untrue

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Have Lowratio enter first.

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Horatio Cornblower

Lowratio’s entry, artist’s conception:

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SonOfSpam

The password is “buttfuckmehardnomatterhowmuchiscream”

4
Horatio Cornblower

Oh cool! You’re going too!?

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SonOfSpam

Yeah, as with most events, I’ll be the guy sobbing uncontrollably at the bar.

5
jjfozz

If there’s a stool open next to you, I’ll be there.

4
SonOfSpam

Well, there’s a stool nearby, but I hope it’ll be gone soon.

3
Gumbygirl

Steal the pie, then run.

2
jjfozz

Oldest Fozz Spawn’s boss died suddenly last night. He was 33. Two kids and a divorced wife who apparently is a bag of shit.

Tough to see your children encounter death for the first time, especially when it’s someone they were close to.

After hugging him and giving him my counsel – which was probably 100% wrong – I poured us two bourbons and we toasted his boss.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Damn, that’s tough. Good on ya for talking him through it.

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s pretty much all you can do in the face of Death. Raise a drink and spit in that fucker’s eye.

My daughter lost a friend a while ago to the culmination of a long series of health issues. It sucks. You have my sympathy. And any extra bourbon I happen to have around.

3
2Pack

My condolences. A reminder of what’s important.

3
SonOfSpam

(bourbon)

3
jjfozz

always

3
Senor Weaselo

Oh wow, shit. Do they know what happened?

2
jjfozz

Not yet. My son really looked up to him, I told him that as long as he taught others the lessons this guy taught, it would honor him.

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SonOfSpam

Aw that sucks. Sorry for your son and the guy’s family. Bourbon, as usual, is correct here.

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jjfozz

And also, this guy died on his daughter’s birthday. Hey universe, go fuck yourself.

1
Gumbygirl

I was talking to my favorite cousin recently. Years ago, her husband ran their two year old daughter over in the driveway. On Fathers Day. The universe is a real bitch.

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SonOfSpam

Oh my god.

0
Gumbygirl

Yup.

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2Pack

Evening folks.
Quiet around here.
Too quiet.

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Horatio Cornblower

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Was debating doing a marathon of those movies tomorrow but will be eating dinner with the duo who ousted* me as HOA president.

*I quit and they took over and have done…fine. Really. No, I mean that. Fine. No, no issues. They’re fine.

3
Horatio Cornblower

I did that a while ago. Much like your successors it was…fine.

I mean at this point I’ve read the books 20+ times and seen the movies 3-5 times each. How many times can you run the same race?

0
jjfozz

I’m not too sure I like these people. They have a kind of “We Watch Emily in Paris and Looooove It” vibe. Which means they should be dipped inch by inch into hydrochloric acid.

5
WCS

Did someone summon BOLTMAN?

2
Brick Meathook

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jjfozz

i am going to show this to my mother in law and wreck her world.

3
jjfozz

I have read a shit ton of books on the JFK assassination, from both sides. I’m relatively not dumb, and I wholly believe it was more than one shooter.

Here’s my roster of the involved parties: CIA members pissed at the Bay of Pigs fiasco; mob guys who were pissed at the bay of pigs, and for RFK fucking with them after they had basically bought several states for Jack’s win; and possibly, right there on the fringe, LBJ who hated the Kennedys and wanted a war in Vietnam.

There you go.

1
Horatio Cornblower

For me it’s the mob pissed off about Joe not keeping his promises after they got Jack Illinois in the election.

1
jjfozz

Yeah, that plays into my theory. I mean, Jack wins by a narrow margin and then anoints his fuckface brother as AG – and that dipshit goes right after the upstanding people who helped him.

2
litre_cola

Taking the Mrs out for her bday on Monday so I thought that I would look at the resto’s menu online. Discovered Black Friday buy 100 dollar e-card and get 30 dollars as a bonus. Nice little bit of luck there.

10
2Pack

The stars align and shine down upon you.

1
Brick Meathook

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4
Mr. Ayo

It’s a very special birthday edition of RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

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TheRevanchist

But my bday isn’t until tomorrow.

5
Mr. Ayo

I got you HOX tix for tomorrow.

6
litre_cola

OH WE GON HEADHUNT, BULLEE DAT.

Classic that made me laugh and exclaim that out loud. CHUH CHUH

3
Brick Meathook

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2
Gumbygirl

Kennedy just got a gander at Johnson’s Johnson.

1
Redshirt

Look at that side-eye. My money’s on LBJ being involved in the assassination.

2
Senor Weaselo

“That pushes him over Jordan!” -LeBron fanboys

2
Gumbygirl

Certainly had his eye on the widow. Wouldn’t surprise me at all.

1
jjfozz

He had so much to gain – the military industrial complex were huge fans, and you know Vietnam was just waiting to happen – well, it wasn’t but they rigged up the Gulf of Tonkin incident so they could have a really fun, and expensive, war. Fuck politicians.

1
scotchnaut

Brick trying to convince us that Debbie Harry is behind all U.S. political assassinations. I’m not buying it.

2
Horatio Cornblower

She pretty clearly had it in for Garfield.

2
SonOfSpam

Well sure. She LOVES Mondays.

4
yeah right

It’s pretty simple really. Oswald was working for the CIA in one of the anti Castro groups. The CIA then set him up to look like a pro Cuba supporter by having him distribute leaflets supporting Cuba is his hometown of New Orleans.
Once they had photos of this the CIA killed Kennedy, leaving Oswald as the fall guy then decided to kill Oswald to be sure it never got out.

That’s the only logical reason why the government is STILL holding over 500 pages of assassination documents and refuses to release them.

See?
Simple.

1
blaxabbath

Keeping those files closed was one of the things Trump did that I saw how just absolutely nothing would come from that administration without personal gains.

5
jjfozz

It makes sense. But there is no way in hell there was only one shooter. Sure Oswald was a Marine, but he was only qualified as a “sharpshooter”, kind of middle of the pack. So he takes a shitty, mail order rifle and pops Jack in a moving vehicle? no fucking way.

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