TGIF! WTH? It’s December? Also, having to blog on vacation is the worst. I hope I get double time for this.
Survival – Personal Edition
Again, vacation, so I’m going to keep this short and sweet. Today we’re going to identify the signs that you are not, in fact, over your ex. We’re going to skip over the obvious situation where you’re not the master of your domain while your ex is at the front of your mind.
- Accidentally calling anyone you are dating by your ex’s name
- Your rebound relationship is with someone who was previously your “safety” date.
- You regularly call your ex’s roommate.
- Making lunch dates with your ex’s mother.
- Remember the song that was “your song”? Playing it over and over is a sign. A bigger sign is if it causes you to sob uncontrollably.
- You haven’t updated your social networking relationship status back to “single” as of yet.
- You call your ex when you’re drunk.
- You call your ex when you’re sober.
- Social networking issues again: You repeatedly check each day your ex’s social media accounts for updates.
- You’re still tending to and updating those wedding plans. Or the moment when you were going to pop the question.
- This is truly deranged behavior, but it should be obvious you’re not over your ex if you’re sleeping with a memento of your ex such as a picture.
- You are parked outside their place of residence or work.
So, if any of this applies, you should #staysingle a while longer to get over the relationship. Also, leave your ex alone.
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
As always I watch the recorded game but I’m be damned that was a fun game.
I emailed Hippo earlier and said this would be either win by a field goal or a last minute score.
Yuuuuup!
Wheeeeeeee Doggies!
Oregon is a pretty lame state . . .
ABC Director is going to do a split-screen to Oregon’s Nix’s soul-dying on the sideline.
BLEERGH has a 12 AM Dinner Reservation and he is not going to miss it, damn it!
…and BLEERGH just tried to ice the kicker.
I can’t tell if Washington taste the playoffs or if Oregon suddenly got tired.d
The ginger bread house bobs burgers Christmas episode is easily top 3 of their Christmas specials.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw9V3FO_5Pw&t=14s
Any Teddy episode is a great one.
This is absolutely something The Gang would do and wonder why no one else thought it even slightly weird.
Oregon-Washington is a kick-ass game right now (27-24 Washington, 6 minutes 4th quarter)
34-23 Washington
34-31
Dammit. Won’t get home for the U dub slurpfest
BOW DOWN!
I have taken so many airplanes and haven’t called my parents, damn
On el tren, with pizza. Crackhead asks me for a smoke. In no way am I smoking. I offer him pizza. “Food will fuck up my flow, I am in a groove.”
Sexy Friday Appropriate?
Hardest working button at that party
I’m torn. I want the games to end up with Ohio State sneaking into the playoffs. However, I wouldn’t mind having a season end with a New Year Bowl win instead of being destroyed by Georgia or Michigan. Plus, any scenario that can get Ryan Day fired has my full support.
Any suggestions that don’t involve alcohol consumption?
Move out of Ohio?
Weed? E erything is aerie.
Ryan Day is gonna have to lose three more games to Michigan before the gets fired (ex: Cooper)
Luke Skywalker: Nooooo! That’s not True! That’s impossible! – YouTube
Oh man, Cooper drove everyone apeshit around here. Off the top of my head, his record against UM was 1-7-1. Towards the end of his tenure, Michigan coaches and players were saying things like, “Our real rivalry is Michigan St. now.” Which made folks here in Columbus just that much madder.
Looked it up: 2-10-1.
Have you considered sniffing glue?
Well done Sir. I’d let those last ladies make themselves a 2Pack sammich. And to survive the ex’s just mellow out and put on some Kinks.
https://youtu.be/9dGP7ZyqWoQ?si=SmpdUV7xedqfqurT
Our 40th President (right)
Here’s The Gipper teaching Angie Dickinson “what’s what.” I hope she learned her lesson and voted Republican.
In my mindcanon, that Zombie Reagan collectively bitchslapping all the MAGAts.
I think are fooling yourself if you think he wouldn’t be goosestepping merrily
along with them.
I think you, fuck!
Guy on the left had a more realistic economic plan.
Let down by Penix again. Ah WISH ah could say this has NEVAR happened to me before smh
Nice thing about tits, unless you go about having a baby and trying to breastfeed there are basically no ways they can let you down
The Penix is mightier than the Quack
There’s no way Penix’s (giggles uncontrollably for 4 minutes), arm motion translates to the NFL, is there?
He’s certainly not going to get away with throwing off his back foot all the time.
Worked for Cutler
Yeah, but he’s a cat. He’s got 9 lives.
And 9 MCLs but he still ran out
Yeah, I’m thinking he should start getting very familiar with the Canadian exchange rate.
Tonight is not about the NFL, Horatio.
But you are correct.
“Have Mr. Ayo killed”
-R. Goodell
Finally started watching Shoresy. Weird for the voice to have a face…and depth of character too but mostly the voice/face thing
First season was incredible…
Settle down
Sticks are unbelievable.
I have to rewatch the second season. I liked it, but not as much as the first. I also sat down and blew through it in one sitting, so I may have missed a few things.
Same with me.
Ugh, I never get colds, this blows. I’m swole, but not in the muscle way, just swole full of snot and mucus. Ew.
Isn’t snot just a form of mucus? Probably redundant to say both.
I think you have what I just had. Some really vicious type of cold, but not Covid, going around right now.
Don’t mess around with it. Hydrate and rest. The cough I have from my body trying to get rid of all the mucus is something else.
Turns out decongestants that expired in 2019 don’t work all that well. Guess I should go buy some new ones
I’ll sell you some Oxy pills. They won’t clear your sinuses, but you won’t care.
A friend of mine just had surgery and won’t take his Oxy because he doesn’t like the way it makes him feel.
Yes, I have let him know that I know people willing to take it off his hands.
The best part is constipation that will make you question the existence of God. I have no idea why hillbillies take these for fun.
You’re gonna need some fiber.
I’ve got soup for that!
I’m open to that
I liked this game better when UW wsn’t terrible.
Hey, I’ve been there
I forgot Mike Leach was dead.
The life of a pirate is often brief.
They’ve already fired his replacement and everything!
UConn had cut the lead to 2 when I came back for the second half. Promptly missed two FTs and then Kansas went right down and scored.
I’ve turned over the football game. I can take a hint.
Since I couldn’t find an intramural women’s rugby team in the area, maybe I should try hockey instead. I can skate pretty well, although I’m out of practice and have only used figure skates, but easy enough to get back into it
Your mitt looks like my last report card: your parents are disappointed in it, it needs work, and it’s full of Ds.
I do need to bone up on my mitt jokes
If you haven’t already just watch the S10 episode for International Women’s Day.
Ho-Lee Shit.
Of course I have!
I’m doing a rewatch to get ready for the last season. Just saw that one again earlier this week, so it’s fresh in my mind.
Unlike Gailer’s bale of hay.
I’ve seen some women’s flag football games get pretty lively.
UConn is somehow only down 8 at the half. They’ve been thoroughly outplayed. Lead should really be more like 20.
Throwing footballs to get tuition money: a precursor to The Hunger Games!
If they executed the loser, I would watch the HT competition in its entirety. GIVE ME BLOOD
So ‘The Running Man,’ but for students?
/huge snort of cocaine
Let’s talk!
cocaine, it literally improves EVERY creative idea!
“A guy named Mohammed won!? What in the hell!?”
-Middle America, right now
Shouldda been a guy named Hey Zeus!
A white feller, with red hair and blue eyes, just like all them other Palestinian folks!
Letterkenney is so good
That’s a Texas sized 10-4
Allegedly.
Fightin’ Horatios, Netball Division, currently getting their shit pushed in but good in Kansas.
Yikes.
Now comes the shanked FG, followed by Quackers TD drive to end the half.
0 for 2?
Okay, half credit.
Penix can go long?? – Deanna F. (turning TV off in disgust)
Not the first time she’s experienced Oregon impotence.
I would estimate that around 80% of asshole drivers are in Teslas now, it’s successfully overtaken every other car as the choice of aggressive dickfaces. And annoyingly, they’re popular enough that there are lots of normal Tesla drivers around so I can’t even have fun stereotyping
You are 100% correct. They even passed BMW owners and I was not expecting that for the rest of this existence.
For a long time, BMW was the asshole’s car of choice, but yeah, Tesla people should be eliminated. Starting with the head guy.
Hey, it’s not our fault that turn signals are optional on BMWs!
They should have made the blinker fluid standard!
Teslas are brilliant automobiles.
The cybertruck looks like hot shit though
They are. But we are on to something here. The owners I know trend towards arrogant and asshole.
Bastard Man, are we to BOW DOWN, or is it Too soon, Abed!?
BOW DOWN!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p9pJ9NQjKU&ab_channel=WestsideConnection-Topic
Nobody has street cred like the man named after mayo smgdh
MC Best Foods?
MC Duke?
Between decompression sickness and the cold I apparently have now, I’ll take the DCS, it cleared up a lot faster and the skin pain wasn’t as distracting as a runny nose
So it’s cool that if one visits their ex’s stylist and collects their hair? Just asking because I don’t see it on the list. Not that I know anyone that would do anything that weird.
Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. Has nothing to do with your ex.
Ex, the stylist, ex-stylist? Yes?
Seems like a job for a smaller
possessionperson.Don’t forget to collect nail clippings at the mani/pedi salon.
Gotta get all the bits for a decent voodoo doll
Zymm knows what I’m, uh, I mean a, uh, totally hypothetical person, is talking about!
Carrying over from last post and Snatch (heh heh huh huh), this little throwaway line has become my to-go lexicon (in shitty accent, of course) whenever I’ve been directly challenged.
It’s basically my, “This is the last warning. Please do whatever I’m asking you to do before things have to get unfortunate.”
Also, this has remained a staple quote for anything so simple it was challenging.
Pre-Katrina-era WCS said this with troubling frequency.
I like the new season of Rick & Morty better than new Archer. FIGHT ME.
I lost track of Archer after the first or second post-ISIS season. Goddamn terrorists ruining good TV. Plus the new season of Rick and Morty is great.
Last picture. Swoon
Ain’t nothing better than Showtime Lesbians